Difference between revisions of "List of chalkboard gags"

Revision as of 17:32, September 1, 2024

The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.

Season 1

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
1	No Gag	No Gag	"Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire"	7G08
2		I will not waste chalk	"Bart the Genius"	7G02
3		I will not skateboard in the halls	"Homer's Odyssey"	7G03
4		I will not burp in class	"There's No Disgrace Like Home"	7G04
5	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart the General"	7G05
6		I will not instigate revolution	"Moaning Lisa"	7G06
7		I will not draw naked ladies in class	"The Call of the Simpsons"	7G09
8		I did not see Elvis	"The Telltale Head"	7G07
9	No Gag	No Gag	"Life on the Fast Lane"	7G11
10		I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"	"Homer's Night Out"	7G10
11		Garlic gum is not funny	"The Crepes of Wrath"	7G13
12		They are laughing at me, not with me	"Krusty Gets Busted"	7G12
13		I will not yell "Fire!" in a crowded classroom	"Some Enchanted Evening"	7G01

Season 2

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
14		I will not encourage others to fly	"Bart Gets an "F""	7F03
	During the episode: I will not fake my way through life
15		Tar is not a plaything	"Simpson and Delilah"	7F02
16	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror"	7F04
17		I will not Xerox my butt	"Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish"	7F01
	Alternate chalkboard gag aired on June 2, 1992 rerun It's 'potato', not 'potatoe'
18		I will not trade pants with others	"Dancin' Homer"	7F05
19		I am not a 32 year old woman	"Dead Putting Society"	7F08
20		I will not do that thing with my tongue	"Bart vs. Thanksgiving"	7F07
21		I will not drive the principal's car	"Bart the Daredevil"	7F06
22		I will not pledge allegiance to Bart	"Itchy & Scratchy & Marge"	7F09
23		I will not sell school property	"Bart Gets Hit by a Car"	7F10
24		I will not cut corners (This is written for 3 lines. The remaining lines are all "ditto" quotation marks.)	"One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"	7F11
25		I will not get very far with this attitude	"The Way We Was"	7F12
26		I will not make flatulent noises in class	"Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment"	7F13
27		I will not belch the national anthem	"Principal Charming"	7F15
28		I will not sell land in Florida	"Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?"	7F16
29		I will not sell school property	"Bart's Dog Gets an "F""	7F14
30		I will not grease the monkey bars	"Old Money"	7F17
31		I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment	"Brush with Greatness"	7F18
32	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa's Substitute"	7F19
33		I will not do anything bad ever again	"The War of the Simpsons"	7F20
34		I will not show off (This was written in Blackletter.)	"Three Men and a Comic Book"	7F21
35		I will not sleep through my education	"Blood Feud"	7F22

Season 3

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
36		I am not a dentist	"Stark Raving Dad"	7F24
37		Spitwads are not free speech	"Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington"	8F01
38		Nobody likes sunburn slappers	"When Flanders Failed"	7F23
39		High explosives and school don't mix	"Bart the Murderer"	8F03
	During the episode: I will not bribe Principal Skinner
40		I will not squeak chalk (Bart makes the chalk squeak as he writes this.)	"Homer Defined"	8F04
41		I will finish what I sta (written only once)	"Like Father, Like Clown"	8F05
42	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror II"	8F02
43		"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender	"Lisa's Pony"	8F06
44		I will not fake rabies	"Saturdays of Thunder"	8F07
45		Underwear should be worn on the inside	"Flaming Moe's"	8F08
46		The Christmas Pageant does not stink	"Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk"	8F09
47		I will not torment the emotionally frail	"I Married Marge"	8F10
48		I will not carve gods	"Radio Bart"	8F11
49	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa the Greek"	8F12
50		I will not spank others	"Homer Alone"	8F14
51	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart the Lover"	8F16
52		I will not aim for the head	"Homer at the Bat"	8F13
53		I will not barf unless I'm sick	"Separate Vocations"	8F15
	During the episode: I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
54		I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge	"Dog of Death"	8F17
55		I will not conduct my own fire drills	"Colonel Homer"	8F19
56		Funny noises are not funny	"Black Widower"	8F20
57		I will not spin the turtle	"The Otto Show"	8F21
58		I will not snap bras	"Bart's Friend Falls in Love"	8F22
59		I will not fake seizures	"Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?"	8F23

Season 4

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
60		This punishment is not boring and pointless	"Kamp Krusty"	8F24
61		My name is not "Dr. Death"	"A Streetcar Named Marge"	8F18
62		I will not defame New Orleans (Done as a response to "A Streetcar Named Marge", which created controversy in New Orleans from a song in said episode)	"Homer the Heretic"	9F01
63		I will not prescribe medication	"Lisa the Beauty Queen"	9F02
64	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror III"	9F04
65		I will not bury the new kid	"Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie"	9F03
	During the episode, Marge writes: I will try to raise a better child
66		I will not teach others to fly	"Marge Gets a Job"	9F05
67		I will not bring sheep to class	"New Kid on the Block"	9F06
68		A burp is not an answer	"Mr. Plow"	9F07
69		Teacher is not a leper	"Lisa's First Word"	9F08
70		Coffee is not for kids (Each line becomes less legible and more scrawled)	"Homer's Triple Bypass"	9F09
71		I will not eat things for money	"Marge vs. the Monorail"	9F10
72		I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call	"Selma's Choice"	9F11
73		The principal's toupée is not a frisbee	"Brother from the Same Planet"	9F12
74		I will not call the principal "spud head"	"I Love Lisa"	9F13
75		Goldfish don't bounce	"Duffless"	9F14
76		Mud is not one of the 4 food groups	"Last Exit to Springfield"	9F15
77		No one is interested in my underpants	"So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show"	9F17
78		I will not sell miracle cures	"The Front"	9F16
79		I will return the seeing-eye dog	"Whacking Day"	9F18
80		I do not have diplomatic immunity	"Marge in Chains"	9F20
81		I will not charge admission to the bathroom	"Krusty Gets Kancelled"	9F19

Season 5

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
82		I will never win an Emmy	"Homer's Barbershop Quartet"	9F21
83		The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy	"Cape Feare"	9F22
84	No Gag	No Gag	"Homer Goes to College"	1F02
85	No Gag	No Gag	"Rosebud"	1F01
86	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror IV"	1F04
87	No Gag	No Gag	"Marge on the Lam"	1F03
88	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart's Inner Child"	1F05
89	No Gag	No Gag	"Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood"	1F06
90		All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy	"The Last Temptation of Homer"	1F07
91		I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause	"$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)"	1F08
92		I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers	"Homer the Vigilante"	1F09
93		My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man	"Bart Gets Famous"	1F11
94		I will not go near the kindergarten turtle	"Homer and Apu"	1F10
95	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy"	1F12
96	No Gag	No Gag	"Deep Space Homer"	1F13
97		I am not delightfully saucy	"Homer Loves Flanders"	1F14
98		Organ transplants are best left to the professionals	"Bart Gets an Elephant"	1F15
99		The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan"	"Burns' Heir"	1F16
100		I will not celebrate meaningless milestones (This was the 100th episode aired.)	"Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song"	1F18
101		There are plenty of businesses like show business	"The Boy Who Knew Too Much"	1F19
102		I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball	"Lady Bouvier's Lover"	1F21
103		Five days is not too long to wait for a gun	"Secrets of a Successful Marriage"	1F20

Season 6

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
104		Beans are neither a fruit nor musical	"Bart of Darkness"	1F22
105		No one is interested in my underpants	"Lisa's Rival"	1F17
106		I will not use abbrev.	"Another Simpsons Clip Show"	2F33
107		I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis, Jr.	"Itchy & Scratchy Land"	2F01
108	No Gag	No Gag	"Sideshow Bob Roberts"	2F02
109	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror V"	2F03
110		I will not send lard through the mail	"Bart's Girlfriend"	2F04
111		I will not dissect things unless instructed	"Lisa on Ice"	2F05
112		I will not whittle hall passes out of soap	"Homer Badman"	2F06
113		My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man	"Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy"	2F07
114		Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough	"Fear of Flying"	2F08
115		Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the principal	"Homer the Great"	2F09
116		'Bagman' is not a legitimate career choice	"And Maggie Makes Three"	2F10
117		Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does	"Bart's Comet"	2F11
118		Next time it could be me on the scaffolding	"Homie the Clown"	2F12
119		I will not hang donuts on my person	"Bart vs. Australia"	2F13
120		I will remember to take my medication	"Homer vs. Patty and Selma"	2F14
121	No Gag	No Gag	"A Star Is Burns"	2F31
122		I will not strut around like I own the place	"Lisa's Wedding"	2F15
123		The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far	"Two Dozen and One Greyhounds"	2F18
124		I do not have power of attorney over first graders	"The PTA Disbands"	2F19
125		Nerve gas is not a toy	"'Round Springfield"	2F32
126		I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface	"The Springfield Connection"	2F21
127		The First Amendment does not cover burping	"Lemon of Troy"	2F22
128		This is not a clue... or is it?	"Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)"	2F16

Season 7

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
129		I will not complain about the solution when I hear it	"Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two)"	2F20
130		"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism	"Radioactive Man"	2F17
131		No one wants to hear from my armpits	"Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily"	3F01
132		I am not a lean mean spitting machine	"Bart Sells His Soul"	3F02
133		The boys' room is not a water park	"Lisa the Vegetarian"	3F03
134	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror VI"	3F04
135		Indian burns are not our cultural heritage	"King-Size Homer"	3F05
136	No Gag	No Gag	"Mother Simpson"	3F06
137		Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things	"Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming"	3F08
138		I will only do this once a year (by "this", it means a clip show)	"The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular"	3F31
139		I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist	"Marge Be Not Proud"	3F07
140		I am not certified to remove asbestos	"Team Homer"	3F10
141	No Gag	No Gag	"Two Bad Neighbors"	3F09
142	No Gag	No Gag	"Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield"	3F11
143	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart the Fink"	3F12
144	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa the Iconoclast"	3F13
145	No Gag	No Gag	"Homer the Smithers"	3F14
146	No Gag	No Gag	"The Day the Violence Died"	3F16
147	No Gag	No Gag	"A Fish Called Selma"	3F15
148	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart on the Road"	3F17
149	No Gag	No Gag	"22 Short Films About Springfield"	3F18
150	No Gag	No Gag	"Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish""	3F19
151	No Gag	No Gag	"Much Apu About Nothing"	3F20
152	No Gag	No Gag	"Homerpalooza"	3F21
153	No Gag	No Gag	"Summer of 4 Ft. 2"	3F22

Season 8

#	Thumbnail	Gag	Episode	Code
154	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror VII"	4F02
155		I did not learn everything I need to know from kindergarten	"You Only Move Twice"	3F23
156		I am not my long-lost twin	"The Homer They Fall"	4F03
157	No Gag	No Gag	"Burns, Baby Burns"	4F05
158	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart After Dark"	4F06
159	No Gag	No Gag	"A Milhouse Divided"	4F04
160	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa's Date with Density"	4F01
	During the episode, Lisa writes: I will not be a snickerpuss.
161	No Gag	No Gag	"Hurricane Neddy"	4F07
162	No Gag	No Gag	"El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer"	3F24
163		The truth is not out there	"The Springfield Files"	3G01
164		I am not licensed to do anything	"The Twisted World of Marge Simpson"	4F08
165	No Gag	No Gag	"Mountain of Madness"	4F10
166		I will not hide the teacher's Prozac	"Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(Annoyed Grunt)cious"	3G03
167	No Gag	No Gag	"The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show"	4F12
168	No Gag	No Gag	"Homer's Phobia"	4F11
169	No Gag	No Gag	"Brother from Another Series"	4F14
170	No Gag	No Gag	"My Sister, My Sitter"	4F13
171	No Gag	No Gag	"Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment"	4F15
172	No Gag	No Gag	"Grade School Confidential"	4F09
173		A fire drill does not demand a fire	"The Canine Mutiny"	4F16
174	No Gag	No Gag	"The Old Man and the Lisa"	4F17
175	No Gag	No Gag	"In Marge We Trust"	4F18
176	No Gag	No Gag	"Homer's Enemy"	4F19
177	No Gag	No Gag	"The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase"	4F20
178	No Gag	No Gag	"The Secret War of Lisa Simpson"	4F21

Season 9

#	Thumbnail	Gag	Episode	Code
179	No Gag	No Gag	"The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"	4F22
180	No Gag	No Gag	"The Principal and the Pauper"	4F23
181		I no longer want my MTV	"Lisa's Sax"	3G02
182	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror VIII"	5F02
183		Everyone is tired of that Richard Gere story	"The Cartridge Family"	5F01
184		I did not invent Irish dancing	"Bart Star"	5F03
185	No Gag	No Gag	"The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons"	5F04
186		I will not tease Fatty	"Lisa the Skeptic"	5F05
187		There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"	"Realty Bites"	5F06
188		Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related	"Miracle on Evergreen Terrace"	5F07
189	No Gag	No Gag	"All Singing, All Dancing"	5F24
190	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart Carny"	5F08
191		Shooting paintballs is not an art form	"The Joy of Sect"	5F23
192	No Gag	No Gag	"Das Bus"	5F11
193		Pain is not the cleanser	"The Last Temptation of Krust"	5F10
194		Silly string is not a nasal spray	"Dumbbell Indemnity"	5F12
195	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa the Simpson"	4F24
196		I was not told to do this	"This Little Wiggy"	5F13
197		My butt does not deserve a website	"Simpson Tide"	3G04
198		I will not demand what I'm worth	"The Trouble with Trillions"	5F14
199	No Gag	No Gag	"Girly Edition"	5F15
200		I will not mess with the opening credits (this was actually the couch gag for this episode)	"Trash of the Titans"	5F09
201	No Gag	No Gag	"King of the Hill"	5F16
202		I am not the new Dalai Lama	"Lost Our Lisa"	5F17
203		I was not the inspiration for "Kramer"	"Natural Born Kissers"	5F18

Season 10

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
204	No Gag	No Gag	"Lard of the Dance"	5F20
205		I will not file frivolous lawsuits	"The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace"	5F21
206	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart the Mother"	5F22
207		The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (This is written in blood with a paintbrush.)	"Treehouse of Horror IX"	AABF01
208		"butt.com" is not my E-mail address (This was changed to "butt.butt" in later airings since butt.com was revealed to be a real website. Butt.com still appeared in syndication, however)	"When You Dish Upon a Star"	5F19
209		No one cares what my definition of "is" is	"D'oh-in' in the Wind"	AABF02
210		I will not scream for ice cream	"Lisa Gets an "A""	AABF03
211		I am not a licensed hairstylist	"Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble""	AABF04
212		"The President did it" is not an excuse	"Mayored to the Mob"	AABF05
213		My mom is not dating Jerry Seinfeld	"Viva Ned Flanders"	AABF06
214		Sherri does not "got back"	"Wild Barts Can't Be Broken"	AABF07
215		I will not do "the dirty bird"	"Sunday, Cruddy Sunday"	AABF08
216		No one cares about my sciatica	"Homer to the Max"	AABF09
217		Hillbillies are people too	"I'm with Cupid"	AABF11
218		Grammar is not a time of waste	"Marge Simpson in: "Screaming Yellow Honkers""	AABF10
219		I do not have diplomatic immunity	"Make Room for Lisa"	AABF12
220		It does not suck to be you	"Maximum Homerdrive"	AABF13
221		I cannot absolve sins	"Simpsons Bible Stories"	AABF14
	During Lisa's dream in the episode: I will not deface (In hieroglyphics)
222		A trained ape could not teach gym	"Mom and Pop Art"	AABF15
223		Loose teeth don't need my help	"The Old Man and the "C" Student"	AABF16
224		I have neither been there nor done that	"Monty Can't Buy Me Love"	AABF17
225		No one wants to hear from my armpits	"They Saved Lisa's Brain"	AABF18
226		I'm so very tired	"Thirty Minutes Over Tokyo"	AABF20

Season 11

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
227		Fridays are not "pants optional"	"Beyond Blunderdome"	AABF23
228		Pork is not a verb	"Brother's Little Helper"	AABF22
229		I am not the last Don	"Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner?"	AABF21
230	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror X"	BABF01
231		I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize	"E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt)"	AABF19
232		I won't not use no double negatives	"Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder"	BABF02
233		Indian burns are not our cultural heritage	"Eight Misbehavin'"	BABF03
234		I can't see dead people	"Take My Wife, Sleaze"	BABF05
235		I will not sell my kidney on eBay	"Grift of the Magi"	BABF07
	During the episode, Lisa writes: I will not do math in class
236		I will not create art from dung	"Little Big Mom"	BABF04
237		I will stop phoning it in	"Faith Off"	BABF06
238		Class clown is not a paid position	"The Mansion Family"	BABF08
239		Substitute teachers are not scabs	"Saddlesore Galactica"	BABF09
240		My suspension was not mutual	"Alone Again, Natura-Diddily"	BABF10
241		A belch is not an oral report	"Missionary: Impossible"	BABF11
242		Dodgeball stops at the gym door	"Pygmoelian"	BABF12
243		Non-flammable is not a challenge	"Bart to the Future"	BABF13
244		I was not touched "there" by an angel	"Days of Wine and D'oh'ses"	BABF14
245		I am not here on a fartball scholarship	"Kill the Alligator and Run"	BABF16
246		I will not dance on anyone's grave	"Last Tap Dance in Springfield"	BABF15
247		I cannot hire a substitute student	"It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge"	BABF18
248		I will not obey the voices in my head	"Behind the Laughter"	BABF19

Season 12

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
249	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XI"	BABF21
250		I will not plant subliminal messagores	"A Tale of Two Springfields"	BABF20
251		I will not surprise the incontinent	"Insane Clown Poppy"	BABF17
252		I am not the acting president	"Lisa the Tree Hugger"	CABF01
253		I was not the sixth Beatle	"Homer vs. Dignity"	CABF04
254		I will only provide a urine sample when asked	"The Computer Wore Menace Shoes"	CABF02
255		The nurse is not dealing	"The Great Money Caper"	CABF03
256		Science class should not end in tragedy	"Skinner's Sense of Snow"	CABF06
	During the episode, Skinner writes: I ain't not a dorkus
257		Network TV is not dead	"HOMЯ"	BABF22
258		I will not "let the dogs out"	"Pokey Mom"	CABF05
259		I will not hide the teacher's medication	"Worst Episode Ever"	CABF08
260		I will not publish the principal's credit report	"Tennis the Menace"	CABF07
261		The hamster did not have a "full life"	"Day of the Jackanapes"	CABF10
262		I will not buy a presidential pardon	"New Kids on the Blecch"	CABF12
263		"Temptation Island" was not a sleazy piece of crap	"Hungry, Hungry Homer"	CABF09
264		I will not scare the vice president	"Bye, Bye, Nerdie"	CABF11
265		I will not flush evidence	"Simpson Safari"	CABF13
266		Fire is not the cleanser	"Trilogy of Error"	CABF14
267		Genetics is not an excuse	"I'm Goin' to Praiseland"	CABF15
268		Today is not Mothra's Day	"Children of a Lesser Clod"	CABF16
269		I should not be twenty-one by now	"Simpsons Tall Tales"	CABF17

Season 13

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
270	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XII"	CABF19
271		Nobody reads these anymore	"The Parent Rap"	CABF22
272		A burp in a jar is not a science project	"Homer the Moe"	CABF20
273		Fun does not have a size	"A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"	CABF18
274		I am not Charlie Brown on acid	"The Blunder Years"	CABF21
275		I do not have a cereal named after me	"She of Little Faith"	DABF02
276	No Gag	No Gag	"Brawl in the Family"	DABF01
277	No Gag	No Gag	"Sweets and Sour Marge"	DABF03
278	No Gag	No Gag	"Jaws Wired Shut"	DABF05
279		I will not bite the hand that feeds me Butterfingers	"Half-Decent Proposal"	DABF04
280		The Giving Tree is not a chump	"The Bart Wants What It Wants"	DABF06
281		Making Milhouse cry is not a science project	"The Lastest Gun in the West"	DABF07
282	No Gag	No Gag	"The Old Man and the Key"	DABF09
283		Vampire is not a career choice	"Tales from the Public Domain"	DABF08
284	No Gag	No Gag	"Blame It on Lisa"	DABF10
285	No Gag	No Gag	"Weekend at Burnsie's"	DABF11
286	No Gag	No Gag	"Gump Roast"	DABF12
287	No Gag	No Gag	"I Am Furious (Yellow)"	DABF13
288		I will never lie about being cancelled again	"The Sweetest Apu"	DABF14
289	No Gag	No Gag	"Little Girl in the Big Ten"	DABF15
290	No Gag	No Gag	"The Frying Game"	DABF16
291	No Gag	No Gag	"Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge"	DABF17

Season 14

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
292	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XIII"	DABF19
293	No Gag	No Gag	"How I Spent My Strummer Vacation"	DABF22
294		Fish do not like coffee	"Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade"	DABF20
295	No Gag	No Gag	"Large Marge"	DABF18
296		Milhouse did not test cootie positive	"Helter Shelter"	DABF21
297	No Gag	No Gag	"The Great Louse Detective"	EABF01
298	No Gag	No Gag	"Special Edna"	EABF02
299	No Gag	No Gag	"The Dad Who Knew Too Little"	EABF03
300		This school does not need a "regime change"	"The Strong Arms of the Ma"	EABF04
301		SpongeBob is not a contraceptive	"Pray Anything"	EABF06
302		I will not (Bart then destroys the chalkboard with an axe and runs out the school laughing.)	"Barting Over"	EABF05
303	No Gag	No Gag	"I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can"	EABF07
304	No Gag	No Gag	"A Star Is Born Again"	EABF08
305	No Gag	No Gag	"Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington"	EABF09
306	No Gag	No Gag	"C.E. D'oh"	EABF10
307	No Gag	No Gag	"'Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky"	EABF11
308	No Gag	No Gag	"Three Gays of the Condo"	EABF12
309	No Gag	No Gag	"Dude, Where's My Ranch?"	EABF13
310		My pen is not a booger launcher	"Old Yeller-Belly"	EABF14
311	No Gag	No Gag	"Brake My Wife, Please"	EABF15
312		Sandwiches should not contain sand	"The Bart of War"	EABF16
313	No Gag	No Gag	"Moe Baby Blues"	EABF17

Season 15

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
314	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XIV"	EABF21
315	No Gag	No Gag	"My Mother the Carjacker"	EABF18
316	No Gag	No Gag	"The President Wore Pearls"	EABF20
317	No Gag	No Gag	"The Regina Monologues"	EABF22
318	No Gag	No Gag	"The Fat and the Furriest"	EABF19
319		Over forty & single is not funny	"Today I Am a Clown"	FABF01
320	No Gag	No Gag	"'Tis the Fifteenth Season"	FABF02
321	No Gag	No Gag	"Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays"	FABF03
322	No Gag	No Gag	"I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot"	FABF04
323	No Gag	No Gag	"Diatribe of a Mad Housewife"	FABF05
324	No Gag	No Gag	"Margical History Tour"	FABF06
325	No Gag	No Gag	"Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore"	FABF07
326	No Gag	No Gag	"Smart and Smarter"	FABF09
327		I will not speculate on how hot teacher used to be	"The Ziff Who Came to Dinner"	FABF08
328	No Gag	No Gag	"Co-Dependent's Day"	FABF10
329	No Gag	No Gag	"The Wandering Juvie"	FABF11
330	No Gag	No Gag	"My Big Fat Geek Wedding"	FABF12
331	No Gag	No Gag	"Catch 'Em If You Can"	FABF14
332	No Gag	No Gag	"Simple Simpson"	FABF15
333	No Gag	No Gag	"The Way We Weren't"	FABF13
334	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart-Mangled Banner"	FABF17
335	No Gag	No Gag	"Fraudcast News"	FABF18

Season 16

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
336	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XV"	FABF23
337	No Gag	No Gag	"All's Fair in Oven War"	FABF20
338	No Gag	No Gag	"Sleeping with the Enemy"	FABF19
339		Poking a dead raccoon is not research	"She Used to Be My Girl"	FABF22
340	No Gag	No Gag	"Fat Man and Little Boy"	FABF21
341	No Gag	No Gag	"Midnight Rx"	FABF16
342	No Gag	No Gag	"Mommie Beerest"	GABF01
343	No Gag	No Gag	"Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass"	GABF02
344	No Gag	No Gag	"Pranksta Rap"	GABF03
345	No Gag	No Gag	"There's Something About Marrying"	GABF04
346		Beer in a milk carton is not milk	"On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister"	GABF05
347	No Gag	No Gag	"Goo Goo Gai Pan"	GABF06
348	No Gag	No Gag	"Mobile Homer"	GABF07
349	No Gag	No Gag	"The Seven-Beer Snitch"	GABF08
350	No Gag	No Gag	"Future-Drama"	GABF12
351	No Gag	No Gag	"Don't Fear the Roofer"	GABF10
352	No Gag	No Gag	"The Heartbroke Kid"	GABF11
353	No Gag	No Gag	"A Star Is Torn"	GABF13
354	No Gag	No Gag	"Thank God It's Doomsday"	GABF14
355		A Booger is not a bookmark	"Home Away from Homer"	GABF15
356	No Gag	No Gag	"The Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star"	GABF09

Season 17

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
357		Does any kid still do this anymore?	"The Bonfire of the Manatees"	GABF18
358	No Gag	No Gag	"The Girl Who Slept Too Little"	GABF16
359	No Gag	No Gag	"Milhouse of Sand and Fog"	GABF19
360	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XVI"	GABF17
361	No Gag	No Gag	"Marge's Son Poisoning"	GABF20
362	No Gag	No Gag	"See Homer Run"	GABF21
363	No Gag	No Gag	"The Last of the Red Hat Mamas"	GABF22
364	No Gag	No Gag	"The Italian Bob"	HABF02
365	No Gag	No Gag	"Simpsons Christmas Stories"	HABF01
366		I am not smarter than the President	"Homer's Paternity Coot"	HABF03
367		Teacher was not dumped—it was mutual	"We're on the Road to D'ohwhere"	HABF04
368	No Gag	No Gag	"My Fair Laddy"	HABF05
369	No Gag	No Gag	"The Seemingly Never-Ending Story"	HABF06
370	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart Has Two Mommies"	HABF07
371		First airing, live action opening: I will not eat things for money	"Homer Simpson, This Is Your Wife"	HABF08
	Subsequent airings: I will not laminate dog doo
372		I will not flip the classroom upside down (The classroom is flipped upside down.)	"Million-Dollar Abie"	HABF09
373	No Gag	No Gag	"Kiss Kiss Bang Bangalore"	HABF10
374	No Gag	No Gag	"The Wettest Stories Ever Told"	HABF11
375	No Gag	No Gag	"Girls Just Want to Have Sums"	HABF12
376		I will not leak the plot of the movie	"Regarding Margie"	HABF13
377		Je ne parle pas français ("I do not speak French.")	"The Monkey Suit"	HABF14
378		Have a great summer, everyone	"Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play"	HABF16

Season 18

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
379	No Gag	No Gag	"The Mook, the Chef, the Wife and Her Homer"	HABF15
380	No Gag	No Gag	"Jazzy and the Pussycats"	HABF18
381	No Gag	No Gag	"Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em"	HABF20
	During the episode, Skinner writes: A baby beat me up
382	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XVII"	HABF17
383		We are not all naked under our clothes	"G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)"	HABF21
384	No Gag	No Gag	"Moe'N'a Lisa"	HABF19
385	No Gag	No Gag	"Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair)"	HABF22
386	No Gag	No Gag	"The Haw-Hawed Couple"	JABF02
387		Frankincense is not a monster	"Kill Gil, Volumes I & II"	JABF01
388	No Gag	No Gag	"The Wife Aquatic"	JABF03
389	No Gag	No Gag	"Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Three Times"	JABF05
390	No Gag	No Gag	"Little Big Girl"	JABF04
	During the episode: So long suckers
391	No Gag	No Gag	"Springfield Up"	JABF07
392	No Gag	No Gag	"Yokel Chords"	JABF09
393	No Gag	No Gag	"Rome-Old and Juli-Eh"	JABF08
394		Global Warming did not eat my homework	"Homerazzi"	JABF06
395	No Gag	No Gag	"Marge Gamer"	JABF10
396	No Gag	No Gag	"The Boys of Bummer"	JABF11
397		I will not look up how much teacher makes	"Crook and Ladder"	JABF13
398		Pearls are not oyster barf	"Stop, or My Dog Will Shoot!"	JABF12
399	No Gag	No Gag	"24 Minutes"	JABF14
400	No Gag	No Gag	"You Kent Always Say What You Want"	JABF15

The Simpsons Movie

Airdate	Picture	Gag
July 27, 2007		I will not illegally download this movie

Season 19

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
401		I will not wait 20 years to make another movie	"He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs"	JABF20
402		The Wall Street Journal is better than ever	"The Homer of Seville"	JABF18
403	No Gag	No Gag	"Midnight Towboy"	JABF21
404		I am not a FDIC-insured bank.	"I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings"	JABF19
405	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XVIII"	JABF16
406		There is no such thing as an iPoddy	"Little Orphan Millie"	JABF22
407		The Pilgrims were not illegal aliens	"Husbands and Knives"	JABF17
408	No Gag	No Gag	"Funeral for a Fiend"	KABF01
409		The capital of Montana is not "Hannah"	"Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind"	KABF02
410		Teacher did not pay too much for her condo	"E Pluribus Wiggum"	KABF03
411	No Gag	No Gag	"That '90s Show"	KABF04
412	No Gag	No Gag	"Love, Springfieldian Style"	KABF05
413		The art teacher is fat, not pregnant	"The Debarted"	KABF06
414	No Gag	No Gag	"Dial "N" for Nerder"	KABF07
415	No Gag	No Gag	"Smoke on the Daughter"	KABF08
416	No Gag	No Gag	"Papa Don't Leech"	KABF09
417		A person's a person, no mater how Ralph	"Apocalypse Cow"	KABF10
418	No Gag	No Gag	"Any Given Sundance"	KABF11
419		This punishment is not medieval. [in medieval writing style]	"Mona Leaves-a"	KABF12
420	No Gag	No Gag	"All About Lisa"	KABF13

Season 20

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
421	No Gag	No Gag	"Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes"	KABF17
422		Teacher's diet is working	"Lost Verizon"	KABF15
423		There is no such month as Rocktober	"Double, Double, Boy in Trouble"	KABF14
424	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XIX"	KABF16
425		I did not see teacher siphoning gas	"Dangerous Curves"	KABF18
426	No Gag	No Gag	"Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words"	KABF19
427		Prosperity is just around the corner Additionally, during the couch gag: I will not bring the chalkboard home (The chalkboard Bart is writing on has taken the place of the couch in the Simpsons' living room)	"MyPods and Boomsticks"	KABF20
428		Jesus is not mad His birthday is on Christmas	"The Burns and the Bees"	KABF21
429		I will not use permanent ink on the chalkboard	"Lisa the Drama Queen"	KABF22
430		HDTV is worth every cent (This was the first episode to air in HD.)	"Take My Life, Please"	LABF01
431		"March Madness" is not an excuse for missing school	"How the Test Was Won"	LABF02
432		I will not have fun with educational toys	"No Loan Again, Naturally"	LABF03
433	No Gag	No Gag	"Gone Maggie Gone"	LABF04
434		Four leaf clovers are not mutant freaks	"In the Name of the Grandfather"	LABF11
435		My piggy bank is not entitled to TARP funds	"Wedding for Disaster"	LABF05
436	No Gag	No Gag	"Eeny Teeny Maya, Moe"	LABF06
437		I will not mock teacher's outdated cell phone	"The Good, the Sad, and the Drugly"	LABF07
438		I will not put hot sauce in the CPR dummy	"Father Knows Worst"	LABF08
439	No Gag	No Gag	"Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh"	LABF10
440	No Gag	No Gag	"Four Great Women and a Manicure"	LABF09
441		It's 'Facebook', not 'Assbook'	"Coming to Homerica"	LABF12

Season 21

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
442		The class hamster isn't just sleeping	"Homer the Whopper"	LABF13
443		Chalkboarding is not torture	"Bart Gets a "Z""	LABF15
444		I am not allergic to long division	"The Great Wife Hope"	LABF16
445	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XX"	LABF14
446		I do not have the hots for my mom	"The Devil Wears Nada"	LABF17
447		Halloween does not kick Thanksgiving's ass	"Pranks and Greens"	LABF18
448		Teachers' unions are not ruining this country	"Rednecks and Broomsticks"	LABF19
449	No Gag	No Gag	"Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou?"	MABF01
450	No Gag	No Gag	"Thursdays with Abie"	MABF02
451		The world may end in 2012, but this show won't	"Once Upon a Time in Springfield"	LABF20
452	No Gag	No Gag	"Million Dollar Maybe"	MABF03
453	No Gag	No Gag	"Boy Meets Curl"	MABF05
454	No Gag	No Gag	"The Color Yellow"	MABF06
455	No Gag	No Gag	"Postcards from the Wedge"	MABF05
456		WWII could not beat up WWI	"Stealing First Base"	MABF07
457	No Gag	No Gag	"The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed"	MABF10
458		Hot dogs are not bookmarks	"American History X-cellent"	MABF08
459		This counts as gym and art class	"Chief of Hearts"	MABF09
460		Original airing: South Park, we'd stand beside you if we weren't so scared International/online version: Je ne suis pas français (I am not French)	"The Squirt and the Whale"	MABF14
461	No Gag	No Gag	"To Surveil with Love"	MABF12
462		Eating my vegetables IS NOT a Mother's Day present	"Moe Letter Blues"	MABF13
463		Batman is not 'nothing' without his utility belt	"The Bob Next Door"	MABF11
464		End of "Lost": It was all the dog's dream. Watch us.	"Judge Me Tender"	MABF15

Season 22

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
465		When I slept in class it was not to help Leo DiCaprio	"Elementary School Musical"	MABF21
466		I did not see Teacher applying for welfare	"Loan-a Lisa"	MABF17
467		I must not write all over the walls (in the meantime is written all over the walls)	"MoneyBart"	MABF18
468	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXI"	MABF16
469	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life"	MABF20
470	No Gag	No Gag	"The Fool Monty"	NABF01
471		"A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" is as good as "A Charlie Brown Christmas"	"How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window?"	NABF02
472	No Gag	No Gag	"The Fight Before Christmas"	MABF22
473		Candy canes are not elf bones	"Donnie Fatso"	MABF19
474		January is not Bart History Month	"Moms I'd Like to Forget"	NABF03
475	No Gag	No Gag	"Flaming Moe"	NABF04
476		Prince is not the son of Martin Luther King	"Homer the Father"	NABF05
477		I will not make fun of Cupid's dink	"The Blue and the Gray"	NABF06
478	No Gag	No Gag	"Angry Dad: The Movie"	NABF07
479		I'm not here on a spitball scholarship	"The Scorpion's Tale"	NABF08
480		"Daylight Savings" is not a failed bank	"A Midsummer's Nice Dreams"	NABF09
481		I will not ridicule teacher's Final Four bracket	"Love Is a Many-Strangled Thing"	NABF10
	In-episode (Homer): I'm a grown man who's scared of his own son
482	No Gag	No Gag	"The Great Simpsina"	NABF11
483	No Gag	No Gag	"The Real Housewives of Fat Tony"	NABF12
484		I do not deserve a Mother's Day gift for being "one badass mother"	"Homer Scissorhands"	NABF13
485		Syndicated version: It's Kristen Schaal, not Kristen Schall	"500 Keys"	NABF14
	International/online version: Guinea Pigs should not be used as "Guinea Pigs"
486	No Gag	No Gag	"The Ned-liest Catch"	NABF15

Season 23

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
487	No Gag	No Gag	"The Falcon and the D'ohman"	NABF16
488		It's not too early to speculate about the 2016 election	"Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts"	NABF17
489	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXII"	NABF19
490		It's November 6th--How come we're not airing a Halloween show?	"Replaceable You"	NABF21
491	No Gag	No Gag	"The Food Wife"	NABF20
492	No Gag	No Gag	"The Book Job"	NABF22
493	No Gag	No Gag	"The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants"	PABF01
494		"Caucus" is not a dirty word	"The Ten-Per-Cent Solution"	PABF02
495		Cafeteria trays are not toboggans	"Holidays of Future Passed"	NABF18
496		Tintin did not sucksuck	"Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson"	PABF03
497		We do need no education	"The D'oh-cial Network"	PABF04
498		There's no proven link between raisins and boogers	"Moe Goes from Rags to Riches"	PABF05
499		I will not replace a candy heart with a frog's heart	"The Daughter Also Rises"	PABF06
500		Milhouse writes: Bart's earned a day off	"At Long Last Leave"	PABF07
	During the episode, Bart writes on the wall in spray paint: I ♥ the breakdown of society
501	No Gag	No Gag	"Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart"	PABF09
502	No Gag	No Gag	"How I Wet Your Mother"	PABF08
503	No Gag	No Gag	"Them, Robot"	PABF10
504		Original/UK airing: The true location of Springfield is in any state but yours	"Beware My Cheating Bart"	PABF11
	International (except UK)/online version: Teacher does not have to pay an "Ugly Tax"
505	No Gag	No Gag	"A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again"	PABF12
506	No Gag	No Gag	"The Spy Who Learned Me"	PABF13
507		Call your mother during the commercials.	"Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agenda"	PABF15
508	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa Goes Gaga"	PABF14

Season 24

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
509		I will not wear white after Labor Day (He is wearing a white shirt)	"Moonshine River"	PABF21
510	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXIII"	PABF17
511	No Gag	No Gag	"Adventures in Baby-Getting"	PABF18
512		I will not concede the election till Karl Rove gives me permission	"Gone Abie Gone"	PABF16
513		I want to secede but don't know which state I'm in	"Penny-Wiseguys"	PABF19
514		20 more shoplifting days till Christmas	"A Tree Grows in Springfield"	PABF22
515	No Gag	No Gag	"The Day the Earth Stood Cool"	PABF20
516	No Gag	No Gag	"To Cur, with Love"	RABF01
517		Teacher did not get fat over the holidays	"Homer Goes to Prep School"	RABF02
518		I will obey Oscar® campaign rules from now on	"A Test Before Trying"	RABF03
519	No Gag	No Gag	"The Changing of the Guardian"	RABF04
520		I was not nominated for "Best Spoken Swear Word"	"Love Is a Many-Splintered Thing"	RABF07
521	No Gag	No Gag	"Hardly Kirk-ing"	RABF05
522	No Gag	No Gag	"Gorgeous Grampa"	RABF06
523		I'm sorry I broke the blackboard. (Bart is writing with a black marker on a whiteboard)	"Black-Eyed, Please"	RABF09
524		Jesus's last words were not "TGIF"	"Dark Knight Court"	RABF10
525	No Gag	No Gag	"What Animated Women Want"	RABF08
526	No Gag	No Gag	"Pulpit Friction"	RABF11
527	No Gag	No Gag	"Whiskey Business"	RABF13
528		This School is not falling apart (then the blackboard falls apart)	"The Fabulous Faker Boy"	RABF12
529	No Gag	No Gag	"The Saga of Carl"	RABF14
530	No Gag	No Gag	"Dangers on a Train"	RABF17

Season 25

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
531		25 years and they can't come up with a new punishment.	"Homerland"	RABF20
532	300px	All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy	"Treehouse of Horror XXIV"	RABF16
533		We'll really miss you Mrs. K. (Written once, Bart is sad.) (Marcia Wallace, the voice actor for Edna Krabappel, passed away nine days before this episode aired.)	"Four Regrettings and a Funeral"	RABF18
534		My School Schedule does not include a bye week.	"YOLO"	RABF22
	During the episode: I will not drop a stitch
535		Rocktober is not followed by Blowvember	"Labor Pains"	RABF19
536	No Gag	No Gag	"The Kid Is All Right"	SABF02
537		I will stop asking when Santa goes to the bathroom	"Yellow Subterfuge"	SABF04
538		I will not call my teacher "Prancer" and "Vixen"	"White Christmas Blues"	SABF01
539	No Gag	No Gag	"Steal This Episode"	SABF05
540		Original airing: Judas Priest is not "Death Metal"	"Married to the Blob"	SABF03
	International/online airing: If you haven't broken your Christmas presents yet, you're not trying
541	No Gag	No Gag	"Specs and the City"	SABF06
542		A bracket-style tournament of characters with Homer and Jasper in the finals	"Diggs"	SABF08
543	No Gag	No Gag	"The Man Who Grew Too Much"	SABF07
544		My dad's already drunk for St. Patrick's.	"The Winter of His Content"	SABF09
545	No Gag	No Gag	"The War of Art"	SABF10
546	No Gag	No Gag	"You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee"	SABF11
547	No Gag	No Gag	"Luca$"	SABF12
548	No Gag	No Gag	"Days of Future Future"	SABF13
549		Original/Television broadcast airing:April Showers Do Not Bring Matt Lauers"	"What to Expect When Bart's Expecting"	SABF14
	International/online airing: You can't play April Fool's jokes on April 27th
550	No Gag	No Gag	"Brick Like Me"	RABF21
551	No Gag	No Gag	"Pay Pal"	SABF15
552	No Gag	No Gag	"The Yellow Badge of Cowardge"	SABF18

Season 26

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
553		Spoiler Alert: Unfortunately, my Dad Doesn't Die	"Clown in the Dumps"	SABF20
554	No Gag	No Gag	"The Wreck of the Relationship"	SABF17
555	No Gag	No Gag	"Super Franchise Me"	SABF19
556	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXV"	SABF21
557	No Gag	No Gag	"Opposites A-Frack"	SABF22
558	No Gag	No Gag	"Simpsorama"	SABF16
559	No Gag	No Gag	"Blazed and Confused"	TABF01
560	No Gag	No Gag	"Covercraft"	TABF02
561		Reindeer Meat Does not taste like Chicken	"I Won't Be Home for Christmas"	TABF03
562	No Gag	No Gag	"The Man Who Came to Be Dinner"	RABF15
563		Snowmen don't have carrot penises	"Bart's New Friend"	TABF05
564	No Gag	No Gag	"The Musk Who Fell to Earth"	TABF04
565	No Gag	No Gag	"Walking Big & Tall"	TABF06
566		Pixel art is not real art	"My Fare Lady"	TABF07
567	No Gag	No Gag	"The Princess Guide"	TABF08
568	No Gag	No Gag	"Sky Police"	TABF09
569	No Gag	No Gag	"Waiting for Duffman"	TABF10
570	No Gag	No Gag	"Peeping Mom"	TABF11
571		Lisa writes: I will not pay my sister to do my punishment.	"The Kids Are All Fight"	TABF12
572	No Gag	No Gag	"Let's Go Fly a Coot"	TABF13
573	No Gag	No Gag	"Bull-E"	"Bull-E"
574	No Gag	No Gag	"Mathlete's Feat"	TABF16
300px	During the episode: I will not fight the future

Season 27

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
575	No Gag	No Gag	"Every Man's Dream"	TABF14
576	No Gag	No Gag	"'Cue Detective"	TABF17
577	No Gag	No Gag	"Puffless"	TABF19
578	No Gag	No Gag	"Halloween of Horror"	TABF22
579	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXVI"	TABF18
580	No Gag	No Gag	"Friend with Benefit"	TABF21
581	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa with an "S""	TABF20
582	No Gag	No Gag	"'Paths of Glory"	VABF01
583	No Gag	No Gag	"Barthood"	VABF02
584	No Gag	No Gag	"The Girl Code"	VABF03
585	No Gag	No Gag	"Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles"	VABF04
586	No Gag	No Gag	"Much Apu About Something"	VABF05
587		Hershey kisses do not drop from Cupid's butt	"Love Is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4"	VABF07
588	No Gag	No Gag	"Gal of Constant Sorrow"	VABF06
589	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa the Veterinarian"	VABF08
590	No Gag	No Gag	"The Marge-ian Chronicles"	VABF09
591		If Villanova doesn't win we lose everything	"The Burns Cage"	VABF10
592		Skinner writes: Never lose a bet to Bart Simpson	"How Lisa Got Her Marge Back"	VABF11
593		Dad swears he'll get his taxes in soon	"Fland Canyon"	VABF12
594		Dirty clothes are not a Mother's Day gift	"To Courier with Love"	VABF14
595	No Gag	No Gag	"Simprovised"	VABF13
596		Milhouse does not live below the puberty line	"Orange Is the New Yellow"	VABF15

Season 28

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
597		This arm needs Tommy John surgery	"Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus"	VABF20
598		I will stop losing 50% of my NFL lead-in	"Friends and Family"	VABF18
599	No Gag	No Gag	"The Town"	VABF17
600	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXVII"	VABF16
601		The first episode of the second 600	"Trust but Clarify"	VABF21
602	No Gag	No Gag	"There Will Be Buds"	VABF22
603		Being right sucks (This was the first episode to air after the 2016 presidential election, which Donald Trump won, a result predicted in "Bart to the Future")	"Havana Wild Weekend"	VABF19
604		I will watch all 600 episodes without sleeping	"Dad Behavior"	WABF01
605	No Gag	No Gag	"The Last Traction Hero"	WABF03
606	No Gag	No Gag	"The Nightmare After Krustmas"	WABF02
607	No Gag	No Gag	"Pork and Burns"	WABF06
608 609	No Gag	No Gag	"The Great Phatsby"	WABF04 WABF05
610		If we're so good at predicting how come my dad bet on Atlanta	"Fatzcarraldo"	WABF07
611	No Gag	No Gag	"The Cad and the Hat"	WABF08
612		We're the only house where the Christmas tree is still up	"Kamp Krustier"	WABF09
613	No Gag	No Gag	"22 for 30"	WABF10
614		Studying is not "appropriating nerd culture"	"A Father's Watch"	WABF11
	In-episode (Lisa): Everybody's a winner
	In-episode (Bart): I did nothing wrong this week
615	No Gag	No Gag	"The Caper Chase"	WABF12
616	No Gag	No Gag	"Looking for Mr. Goodbart"	WABF13
	In-episode (Grampa): I just wrote one and I'm already tired
617	No Gag	No Gag	"Moho House"	WABF14
618		Thank you for 28 great years... Taylor Swift	"Dogtown"	WABF15

Season 29

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
619	No Gag	No Gag	"The Serfsons"	WABF17
620	No Gag	No Gag	"Springfield Splendor"	WABF22
621		It's unfair to judge a president on his first 300 days	"Whistler's Father"	WABF16
622	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXVIII"	WABF18
623		Hooligan is not a profession	"Grampy Can Ya Hear Me"	WABF19
624		I will not ask my guidance counselor why he couldn't get a better job	"The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be"	WABF20
625		We do not live in our own pee	"Singin' in the Lane"	WABF21
626	No Gag	No Gag	"Mr. Lisa's Opus"	XABF01
627		Snow Angels are not frozen hobos	"Gone Boy"	XABF02
628	No Gag	No Gag	"Haw-Haw Land"	XABF03
629		Homer writes: "Strangling is not an effective parenting tool"	"Frink Gets Testy"	XABF04
630	No Gag	No Gag	"Homer Is Where the Art Isn't"	XABF05
631	No Gag	No Gag	"3 Scenes Plus a Tag from a Marriage"	XABF06
632		Bart writes "This is the last episode", then flips over the blackboard, and "April Fool" is written on it.	"Fears of a Clown"	XABF08
633		April Showers did not date the President	"No Good Read Goes Unpunished"	XABF07
634	No Gag	No Gag	"King Leer"	XABF10
635		Homer writes: "I will not bet with Bart on the Final four"	"Lisa Gets the Blues"	XABF11
636	No Gag	No Gag	"Forgive and Regret"	XABF09
637	No Gag	No Gag	"Left Behind"	XABF12
638	No Gag	No Gag	"Throw Grampa from the Dane"	XABF13
639	No Gag	No Gag	"Flanders' Ladder"	XABF14

Season 30

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
640	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart's Not Dead"	XABF19
641	No Gag	No Gag	"Heartbreak Hotel"	XABF15
642	No Gag	No Gag	"My Way or the Highway to Heaven"	XABF17
643	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXIX"	XABF16
644	No Gag	No Gag	"Baby You Can't Drive My Car"	XABF18
645	No Gag	No Gag	"From Russia Without Love"	XABF20
	In-episode (on the street): I will not order pregnant rats
646	No Gag	No Gag	"Werking Mom"	XABF21
647	No Gag	No Gag	"Krusty the Clown"	XABF22
648		My pre-Christmas behavior really helps the coal industry	"Daddicus Finch"	YABF01
649		The fat man who works one night a year is my dad	"'Tis the 30th Season"	YABF02
650		My new year's resolution was to quit school	"Mad About the Toy"	YABF03
651	No Gag	No Gag	"The Girl on the Bus"	YABF04
652	No Gag	No Gag	"I'm Dancing as Fat as I Can"	YABF06
653	No Gag	No Gag	"The Clown Stays in the Picture"	YABF05
654		Chili fries do not go in like a lamb and out like a lion	"101 Mitigations"	YABF07
655		Bart draws a bracket tournament of his favorite person, with Krusty winning	"I Want You (She's So Heavy)"	YABF08
656	No Gag	No Gag	"E My Sports"	YABF09
657	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy"	YABF10
658		I am not a grandmother	"Girl's in the Band"	YABF11
659		I will not write "Audit please" on Homer's tax return	"I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh"	YABF12
660		Bart writes "Haw Haw!" on it, but then hits the blackboard, that turning around reveals Nelson attached to it with tape	"D'oh Canada"	YABF14
661	No Gag	No Gag	"Woo-Hoo Dunnit?"	YABF15
662		In-episode: I will not shirk my responsibilities (also written by Marge)	"Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion"	YABF16

Season 31

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
663	No Gag	No Gag	"The Winter of Our Monetized Content"	YABF19
664	No Gag	No Gag	"Go Big or Go Homer"	YABF21
665	No Gag	No Gag	"The Fat Blue Line"	YABF22
666	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXX"	YABF18
667	No Gag	No Gag	"Gorillas on the Mast"	YABF20
668		Daylight savings isn't something I can spend	"Marge the Lumberjill"	ZABF02
669	No Gag	No Gag	"Livin La Pura Vida"	ZABF03
670	No Gag	No Gag	"Thanksgiving of Horror"	YABF17
671		Todd writes "Idle hands are the Devil's tools" with two hands.	"Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?"	ZABF04
672	No Gag	No Gag	"Bobby, It's Cold Outside"	ZABF01
673		Teacher spent New Year's Eve at home by choice	"Hail to the Teeth"	ZABF05
674	No Gag	No Gag	"The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson"	ZABF06
675	No Gag	No Gag	"Frinkcoin"	ZABF07
676	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart the Bad Guy"	ZABF08
677	No Gag	No Gag	"Screenless"	ZABF09
678		Lisa writes "Bart is at a Doctor's appointment"	"Better Off Ned"	ZABF11
679	No Gag	No Gag	"Highway to Well"	ZABF10
680		"School Online", written on the school blackboard	"The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby"	YABF13
681		Homer writes "How did the boy get me to do this?" with Bart watching	"Warrin' Priests: Part One"	ZABF12
682		I will stop reminding the principal I have a later bedtime than he does	"Warrin' Priests: Part Two"	ZABF13
683	No Gag	No Gag	"The Hateful Eight-Year-Olds"	ZABF14
684	No Gag	No Gag	"The Way of the Dog"	ZABF16

Season 32

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
685	No Gag	No Gag	"Undercover Burns"	ZABF19
686	No Gag	No Gag	"I, Carumbus"	ZABF18
687	No Gag	No Gag	"Now Museum, Now You Don't"	ZABF21
688	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXXI"	ZABF17
689	No Gag	No Gag	"The 7 Beer Itch"	ZABF15
690	No Gag	No Gag	"Podcast News"	ZABF22
691	No Gag	No Gag	"Three Dreams Denied"	QABF02
692	No Gag	No Gag	"The Road to Cincinnati"	ZABF20
693		I will not put laxatives in Santa's cookies	"Sorry Not Sorry"	QABF01
694	No Gag	No Gag	"A Springfield Summer Christmas for Christmas"	QABF03
695	No Gag	No Gag	"The Dad-Feelings Limited"	QABF04
696	300px	I will never be a teacher's pet (During the episode.)	"Diary Queen"	QABF05
697	No Gag	No Gag	"Wad Goals"	QABF06
698	No Gag	No Gag	"Yokel Hero"	QABF07
699	No Gag	No Gag	"Do PizzaBots Dream of Electric Guitars?"	QABF08
700	No Gag	No Gag	"Manger Things"	QABF09
701	No Gag	No Gag	"Uncut Femmes"	QABF10
702	No Gag	No Gag	"Burger Kings"	QABF11
703	No Gag	No Gag	"Panic on the Streets of Springfield"	QABF12
704	No Gag	No Gag	"Mother and Child Reunion"	QABF14
705		I will not take advantage of Milhouse Written by Milhouse while Bart escapes through the window. (During the episode, on Terrance's evidence board.)	"The Man from G.R.A.M.P.A."	QABF13
706	No Gag	No Gag	"The Last Barfighter"	QABF14

Season 33

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
707	No Gag	No Gag	"The Star of the Backstage"	QABF17
708	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart's in Jail!"	QABF18
709		During the episode: I hate rhyming couplets	"Treehouse of Horror XXXII"	QABF16
710	No Gag	No Gag	"The Wayz We Were"	QABF19
711	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa's Belly"	QABF20
712	No Gag	No Gag	"A Serious Flanders (Part 1)"	QABF21
713	No Gag	No Gag	"A Serious Flanders (Part 2)"	QABF22
714	No Gag	No Gag	"Portrait of a Lackey on Fire"	UABF01
715	No Gag	No Gag	"Mothers and Other Strangers"	UABF02
716	No Gag	No Gag	"A Made Maggie"	UABF03
717	No Gag	No Gag	"The Longest Marge"	UABF05
718	No Gag	No Gag	"Pixelated and Afraid"	UABF04
719	No Gag	No Gag	"Boyz N the Highlands"	UABF06
720	No Gag	No Gag	"You Won't Believe What This Episode Is About – Act Three Will Shock You!"	UABF07
721	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart the Cool Kid"	UABF08
722	No Gag	No Gag	"Pretty Whittle Liar"	UABF09
723	No Gag	No Gag	"The Sound of Bleeding Gums"	UABF10
724		During the episode: I will not express my feelings through chaos	"My Octopus and a Teacher"	UABF11
725	No Gag	No Gag	"Girls Just Shauna Have Fun"	UABF12
726		During the end credits: I will not violate the law of entropy	"Marge the Meanie"	UABF15
727	No Gag	No Gag	"Meat Is Murder"	UABF13
728	No Gag	No Gag	UABF14	"Poorhouse Rock"

Season 34

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
729	No Gag	No Gag	"Habeas Tortoise"	UABF16
730	No Gag	No Gag	"One Angry Lisa"	UABF19
731	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa the Boy Scout"	UABF21
732	No Gag	No Gag	"The King of Nice"	UABF20
733	No Gag	No Gag	"Not It"	UABF17
734	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXXIII"	UABF18
735	No Gag	No Gag	"From Beer to Paternity"	OABF01
736	No Gag	No Gag	"Step Brother from the Same Planet"	UABF22
737	No Gag	No Gag	"When Nelson Met Lisa"	OABF02
738	No Gag	No Gag	"Game Done Changed"	OABF03
739	No Gag	No Gag	"Top Goon"	OABF04
740	No Gag	No Gag	"My Life as a Vlog"	OABF05
741	No Gag	No Gag	"The Many Saints of Springfield"	OABF06
742	No Gag	No Gag	"Carl Carlson Rides Again"	OABF07
743	No Gag	No Gag	"Bartless"	OABF08
744	No Gag	No Gag	"Hostile Kirk Place"	OABF09
745	No Gag	No Gag	"Pin Gal"	OABF10
746	No Gag	No Gag	"Fan-ily Feud"	OABF11
747	No Gag	No Gag	"Write Off This Episode"	OABF12
748	No Gag	No Gag	"The Very Hungry Caterpillars"	OABF14
749	No Gag	No Gag	"Clown V. Board of Education"	OABF15
750		I will not try to cram 750 characters into the opening credits...	"Homer's Adventures Through the Windshield Glass"	OABF13

Season 35

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
751	No Gag	No Gag	"Homer's Crossing"	OABF18
752	No Gag	No Gag	"A Mid-Childhood Night's Dream"	OABF16
753	No Gag	No Gag	"McMansion & Wife"	OABF20
754	No Gag	No Gag	"Thirst Trap: A Corporate Love Story"	OABF21
755	No Gag	No Gag	"Treehouse of Horror XXXIV"	OABF17
756	No Gag	No Gag	"Iron Marge"	OABF22
757	No Gag	No Gag	"It's a Blunderful Life"	OABF19
758	No Gag	No Gag	"Ae Bonny Romance"	35ABF02
759	No Gag	No Gag	"Murder, She Boat"	35ABF04
760	No Gag	No Gag	"Do the Wrong Thing"	35ABF01
761	No Gag	No Gag	"Frinkenstein's Monster"	35ABF03
762	No Gag	No Gag	"Lisa Gets an F1"	35ABF05
763	No Gag	No Gag	"Clan of the Cave Mom"	35ABF06
764	No Gag	No Gag	"Night of the Living Wage"	35ABF07
765	No Gag	No Gag	"Cremains of the Day"	35ABF09
766	No Gag	No Gag	"The Tell-Tale Pants"	35ABF10
767	No Gag	No Gag	"The Tipping Point"	35ABF11
768	No Gag	No Gag	"Bart's Brain"	35ABF12

Season 36

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
769	TBA	TBA	"Bart's Birthday"	35ABF15
770	TBA	TBA	"The Yellow Lotus"	35ABF08
771	TBA	TBA	"Desperately Seeking Lisa"	35ABF18
772	TBA	TBA	"Shoddy Heat"	35ABF16
773	TBA	TBA	"Treehouse of Horror XXXV"	35ABF13
774	TBA	TBA	"Ladies Night"	35ABF17
775	TBA	TBA	"Treehouse of Horror Presents: Simpsons Wicked This Way Comes"	35ABF14
TBA	TBA	TBA	"The Beautiful Shame"	36ABF??
TBA	TBA	TBA	"Marge and Homer and Moe and Maya"	36ABF??
TBA	TBA	TBA	"The Man Who Flew Too Much"	36ABF02
TBA	TBA	TBA	"The Last Man Expanding"	36ABF06

Disney+ Specials

#	Image	Gag	Episode	Code
TBA	TBA	TBA	"O C'mon All Ye Faithful"	35ABF21
TBA	TBA	TBA	"The Past and the Furious"	35ABF19
TBA	TBA	TBA	"Yellow Planet"	35ABF20

Specials

Airdate	Gag	Special
September 28, 2014	During the episode: I will not think about Bart anymore (written by Stewie Griffin)	"The Simpsons Guy"
October 13, 2016	I will not make celebrities read mean tweets	Jimmy Kimmel Live!
April 22, 2022	In the credits: I will learn to prank my sister (written by Finneas O'Connell)	"When Billie Met Lisa"

Comics

Simpsons Illustrated

#	Release date	Gag	Comic story
1	April 4, 1991	I will not read this magazine in class	N/A (front cover)
6	Summer 1992	I will never get anywhere by drawing crude cartoons	Dial "M" for Moe
8	Winter 1992	The armpit is not a musical instrument	Return to Slander

Simpsons Comics

#	Release date	Gag	Comic story
1	November 1993	I will not exaggerate my father's weight problem	The Amazing Colossal Homer
3	March 1994	I will not run amok while Principal Skinner is away	The Perplexing Puzzle of the Springfield Puma
12	September 1995	A soldier of Skinner writes I will not practice Communist idealogy	White-Knuckled War Stories: Spare the Rod, Spoil the Grunt!
75	October 2002	I will not blame cause and effect for my juvenile delinquency	...The Permanent Record Room!
123	October 2006	I will not watch TV in class	Bobbing for Vengeance
	I will not survive the school year

Bart Simpson

#	Release date	Picture	Gag	Comic story
28	February 2006		Wienerful is not a real word	Lisa the Vampire Croaker
99	November 2015		I Will Do Better Tomorrow	Back Words

Books

#	Release date	Picture	Gag	Books
	July 31, 1991		I will not juggle food in the cafeteria	The Simpsons Magic Paint and Colour Book ‎
	June 12, 2007		Snail mail is not dead	Greetings from the Simpsons (2007)

Products

#	Release date	Picture	Gag	Product
			Underwear should be worn on the inside Mud is not one of the four food groups I will not eat things for money Funny noises are not funny I will not sell school property I will not charge admission to the bathroom	Bart Simpson Talking Alarm Clock

Adverts

Picture	Gag	Advert
	I will not take part in shameless commercial promotion.	Sky 1 400th episode ad

Calendar

Picture	Gag	Note
	I will not belch the national anthem	The Simpsons 1992 Fun Calendar, recycled from "Principal Charming"
	I will not tell a lie	The Simpsons 1994 Fun Calendar
	I will be a better principal and son	Written by Principal Skinner in The Simpsons Calendar 2010
	Name here is not wasting the watching prime-time animated cartoons	Name here is a name that is personalized for the calendar

Trading cards

The Simpsons Topps

#	Picture	Gag
1		Biting is unsanitary and rude
2		I will not belch the national anthem
3		I will not encourage others to fly
4		Giving people wedgies is not clever
5		I will not do anything bad ever again
6		I will not drive the principal's car
7		I will spend my time productively
8		Tar is not a plaything
9		I will not lie, cheat, or spit
10		I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
11		I will not add to our nation's problems
12		Krusty the Clown is not God
13		Hamsters do not eat onion rings
14		I will not trade pants with others
15		I will not do that thing with my tongue
16		I will not undermine traditional American values
17		Cursing is a crutch
18		I am not a 32 year old woman
19		I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
20		I will not sell school property
21		I will not get very far with this attitude
22		I will not overestimate my own popularity

Video games/Applications

Gag	Video game/Application	Note
I am not a 32 year old woman	The Simpsons: Bart's House of Weirdness	Reused from the episode "Dead Putting Society".
I will not call my teacher hot cakes	Reused from the episode "Homer's Night Out".
I will not skateboard in the halls	Reused from the episode "Homer's Odyssey".
Tar is not a plaything	Reused from the episode "Simpson and Delilah".
I will not burp in class.	The Simpsons Screen Saver	At one point, the gag is written "I will not burp u", before the "u" is rubbed out and replaced with "i". Reused from the episode "There's No Disgrace Like Home".
This is not a clue... or is it?	The Simpsons Road Rage	Reused from the episode "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)".

Other

Table Reading Room

Picture	Gag	Note
	I Will Turn off my Cell Phone at Table Reads	It is located outside the room where the table reads for the series are done.

Visual gags

view • talk • edit • past Opening sequence gags
Billboard gag (List) • Chalkboard gag (List) • Couch gag (List) • Title screen gag (List) • Other gags and parodies

view • talk • edit • past Other gags
A113 • Eyes without a face • First Church of Springfield marquee • Floorboard gag • Gravestones • Nudity • Springfield Shopper headlines • Strangling

Difference between revisions of "List of chalkboard gags"

Revision as of 17:32, September 1, 2024

Contents

Season 23

Season 33

Season 34

Season 35

Season 36

Disney+ Specials

Comics

Books

Products

Adverts

Calendar

Trading cards

Video games/Applications

Other

Table Reading Room