  
List of chalkboard gags
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
The following is a list of chalkboard gags seen on The Simpsons.
| Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
| July 27, 2007
|
|
I will not illegally download this movie
|
|
Season 23
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 645
|
November 11, 2018
|
|
In-episode (on the street):
I will not order pregnant rats
|
"From Russia Without Love"
|
| 648
|
December 2, 2018
|
|
My pre-Christmas behavior really helps the coal industry
|
"Daddicus Finch"
|
| 649
|
December 9, 2018
|
|
The fat man who works one night a year is my dad
|
"'Tis the 30th Season"
|
| 650
|
January 6, 2019
|
|
My new year's resolution was to quit school
|
"Mad About the Toy"
|
| 654
|
March 3, 2019
|
|
Chili fries do not go in like a lamb and out like a lion
|
"101 Mitigations"
|
| 658
|
March 31, 2019
|
|
I am not a grandmother
|
"Girl's in the Band"
|
| 659
|
April 7, 2019
|
|
I will not write "Audit please" on Homer's tax return
|
"I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh"
|
| 660
|
April 28, 2019
|
 
|
Bart writes "Haw Haw!" on it, but then hits the blackboard, that turning around reveals Nelson attached to it with tape
|
"D'oh Canada"
|
|
| #
|
Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Episode Name
|
| 668
|
November 10, 2019
|
|
Daylight savings isn't something I can spend
|
"Marge the Lumberjill"
|
| 671
|
December 1, 2019
|
|
Todd writes "Idle hands are the Devil's tools" with two hands.
|
"Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me?"
|
| 673
|
January 5, 2020
|
|
Teacher spent New Year's Eve at home by choice
|
"Hail to the Teeth"
|
| 678
|
March 15, 2020
|
|
Lisa writes "Bart is at a Doctor's appointment"
|
"Better Off Ned"
|
| 680
|
April 19, 2020
|
|
"School Online", written on the school blackboard
|
"The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby"
|
| 681
|
April 26, 2020
|
|
Homer writes "How did the boy get me to do this?" with Bart watching
|
"Warrin' Priests: Part One"
|
| 682
|
May 3, 2020
|
|
I will stop reminding the principal I have a later bedtime than he does
|
"Warrin' Priests: Part Two"
|
|
| Airdate
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Special
|
| October 13, 2016
|
|
I will not make celebrities read mean tweets
|
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
|
|
Comics
Books
Products
| #
|
Release date
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
Product
|
|
|
|
|
Underwear should be worn on the inside
Mud is not one of the four food groups
I will not eat things for money
Funny noises are not funny
I will not sell school property
I will not charge admission to the bathroom
|
Bart Simpson Talking Alarm Clock
|
|
Adverts
| Picture
|
Gag
|
Advert
|
|
I will not take part in shameless commercial promotion.
|
Sky 1 400th episode ad
|
|
Calendar
| Picture
|
Gag
|
Note
|
|
I will not tell a lie
|
|
|
I will be a better principal and son
|
Written by Principal Skinner
|
|
Name here is not wasting the watching prime-time animated cartoons
|
Name here is a name that is personalized for the calendar
|
|
Trading cards
| #
|
Picture
|
Gag
|
| 1
|
|
Biting is unsanitary and rude
|
| 2
|
|
I will not belch the national anthem
|
| 3
|
|
I will not encourage others to fly
|
| 4
|
|
Giving people wedgies is not clever
|
| 5
|
|
I will not do anything bad ever again
|
| 6
|
|
I will not drive the principal's car
|
| 7
|
|
I will spend my time productively
|
| 8
|
|
Tar is not a plaything
|
| 9
|
|
I will not lie, cheat, or spit
|
| 10
|
|
I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
|
| 11
|
|
I will not add to our nation's problems
|
| 12
|
|
Krusty the Clown is not God
|
| 13
|
|
Hamsters do not eat onion rings
|
| 14
|
|
I will not trade pants with others
|
| 15
|
|
I will not do that thing with my tongue
|
| 16
|
|
I will not undermine traditional American values
|
| 17
|
|
Cursing is a crutch
|
| 18
|
|
I am not a 32 year old woman
|
| 19
|
|
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
|
| 20
|
|
I will not sell school property
|
| 21
|
|
I will not get very far with this attitude
|
| 22
|
|
I will not overestimate my own popularity
|
|
Video games/Applications
| Picture
|
Gag
|
Video game/Application
|
Note
|
|
|
I will not burp in class.
|
The Simpsons Screen Saver
|
At one point, the gag is written "I will not burp u", before the "u" is rubbed out and replaced with "i".
|
|
Other
EA Gamescom Press Conference 2012
| Picture
|
Gag
|
Note
|
|
|
I will not under-provision servers.
|
Written in Comic Sans.
|
|
Table Reading Room
| Picture
|
Gag
|
Note
|
|
I Will Turn off my Cell Phone at Table Reads
|
It is located outside the room where the table reads for the series are done.
|
|
|
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