The Mid-Life Tribulation

The Mid-Life Tribulation

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale Required characters: Yahweh Optional characters: Moses, God

The Mid-Life Tribulation is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale content update. It requires Yahweh to be obtained.

Dialogue

Yahweh unlocked notification

After unlocking Yahweh Message Yahweh has come to Springfield! Complete his sidequest to unlock his never-ending mid-life crisis and earn donuts every time he hits rock bottom!

Pt. 1

After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark So what's he doing now? Yahweh, I'm really not comfortable spying on God for you. Can't you just be happy being yourself? I am happy. But I want to know what his secret is. Why is he so much more popular than me? I wouldn't say he's more popular. I have ten million followers and he has over a billion. I'd say that's more popular. Well, he appeals to a different demo. What do you mean a different demo? Is that some kind of crack? You appeal to believers who are more sophisticated, more mature... Are you saying I'm old? Yes. Task: "Make Yahweh Realize He's Old". The job takes place at Jewish Walk of Fame, Temple Beth Springfield, Jewish Heaven, Invisible House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Worry About Where This is Heading". The job takes place at Jewish Walk of Fame, Temple Beth Springfield, Jewish Heaven, Invisible House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. It has been a while since I smote an Assyrian horde. And I don't even remember the last time I saw the old Pillar of Salt, if you know what I mean. Sadly, I do. What I would give to be 800 again! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark Ok, maybe I am not quite as young as I once was. But age is just a number, right? 4,000 is the new 2,000. We just need to get back out there. Or maybe we should just gracefully accept the inevitable? The first step is to get ripped. Task: "Make Yahweh Join a Gym". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, Old Scratch's Gym, All Night Gym, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Reluctantly Get Into Cycling". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, Old Scratch's Gym, All Night Gym, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. My body fat is five percent and my resting heart rate is 50. I feel like I did on the seventh day! Weren't you tired then from creating the universe? Nothing that a mimosa over brunch couldn't fix. That's why I created Sundays. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark Now that we're ripped, our faith will surely start appealing to a younger demographic. Go round up some new followers. Starting with her. I think the headphones mean "leave me alone". Or, maybe they mean "I like music", you wuss. Come on, show some swagger, Moses. If you say so. I say so. Task: "Make Yahweh Get on Instagram". The job takes place at Jewish Walk of Fame, Temple Beth Springfield, Jewish Heaven, Invisible House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Approach Gym Patrons". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, Old Scratch's Gym, All Night Gym, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Cookie Kwan is owned: Task: "Make Cookie Kwan Ignore Moses". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, Old Scratch's Gym, All Night Gym, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Squeaky Voice Teen is owned: Task: "Make Squeaky Voice Teen Ask Yahweh and Moses to Leave". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, Old Scratch's Gym, All Night Gym, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Did you get her number? How old are you? Even I know nobody asks for a number anymore. I didn't even get eye contact. Okay, I'll admit it. You were right. People go to the gym to work out, not to be hit on by Old Testament prophets. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark Maybe we should focus on recruiting more age-appropriate followers. Maybe you should stop being such a Deuteronomy Downer. We just need to sweeten the pot by showing that we're not just incredibly ripped — we're fun, exciting, and rich! Task: "Make Yahweh Buy a Porsche". The job takes place at Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Springfield Mall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Check Yahweh's Followers". The job takes place at Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Springfield Mall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. License and registration. I don't have either of those. Do you have any photo ID? Sorry, not a big fan of graven images. How am I supposed to give you a ticket? My friend has been going through a hard time lately. His people left him for a younger Supreme Being. If you could possibly forgive us this once, there could be some milk and honey in it for you. What do I look like — a Graham Cracker? Milk and honey and donuts. Drive safely! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5

After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark We'll take the hoodie, for sure. The Skechers, definitely. Right on. What do you think about board shorts? Can I pull those off? For sure. What's wrong with the robes? The robes have dignity. The robes scream day room in the senior center. We might as well carry a remote and use walkers. We're never going to get cool young followers with the robes. The robes are forgiving. The robes cover a lot of middle-age spread. You've got a point. Do you have camo jackets? Right this way. Task: "Make Yahweh Post Selfies". The job takes place at Jewish Walk of Fame, Temple Beth Springfield, Jewish Heaven, Invisible House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Compare Yahweh's Follower Counts to God's". The job takes place at Jewish Walk of Fame, Temple Beth Springfield, Jewish Heaven, Invisible House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Moses, my man! You look fly! I feel stupid. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 6

After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark Now that we've got the look, where do we show it off? The food court at the mall? I don't think that's quite the right place to connect to the new young followers we need. Task: "Make Yahweh Go to a Rave". The job takes place at Draggle Rock, Hard Lad Nightclub, One Night Stan's, Businessman's Social Club, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Reluctantly Tag Along". The job takes place at Draggle Rock, Hard Lad Nightclub, One Night Stan's, Businessman's Social Club, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If God is owned: Task: "Make God Like Yahweh's Rave Selfies". The job takes place at Heaven, Jewish Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. *shouting* This is amazing! What? This is fantastic! What? Nevermind. What? Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 7

After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark This rave is off the hook! Can we go now? I'm tired. Have one of these energy drinks. That'll pick you up — big time! What's in it? Who knows! Where'd you get it? They're going around. Do you think that's wise? Lighten up, Moses. You've got to get into the vibe if we want to connect to young followers. I think I'm going to pass. More for me! Task: "Make Yahweh Keep the Party Going". The job takes 4 hours. If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Quietly Edit Yahweh's Tweets". The job takes place at Draggle Rock, Hard Lad Nightclub, One Night Stan's, Businessman's Social Club, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. I'm thinking of changing my name to Y-Axis. Why would you do that? Why? Y? I get it. That's hilarious. What? You should change your name to Mu-ses. I'm good with Moses. BOR-ING! Don't you see it? Mu. It's a Greek letter. It's a variable. It's a Zen koan. It's everything. You're everything. I think we should get you home. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 8

After tapping on Yahweh's exclamation mark What happened last night? I've got millions of new followers but my head hurts, my feet hurt, and I'm all over TMZ with my face buried in a burrito. I told you no good would come of acting like kids. You were right. We should stick to our demo. Task: "Make Yahweh Hire An Image Consultant". The job takes 24 hours. If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Put His Feet Up". The job takes place at Heaven, Jewish Heaven, Heavenly Swing Set, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Isn't this better? Sunshine, orange juice, and eggs benedict! This is the life for men — or beings — of our stature. The crowd here makes me feel old. You are old. I guess so. I think those ladies at the buffet are checking us out. Yes, they are definitely checking us out. Go see if you can recruit them. Seriously? We're old, not dead. I've still got some of the Old Infinite Power. Can't you just go talk to them? If I could do that, what would I need prophets for? Fine. Just let me finish my eggs. Take your time. We don't want to seem too eager. Quest reward: 200 and 20

Yahweh all steps completed notifications

After completing Hire An Image Consultant, a random text is selected Message Yahweh has finally come to his senses! Unfortunately, he is reminded of his age and the cycle begins anew. Message Yahweh has finally come to his senses! Unfortunately, he begins to lose followers and the cycle begins anew. Message Yahweh has finally come to his senses! Unfortunately, Moses left him alone with his thoughts too long and the cycle begins anew. Message Yahweh has finally come to his senses! Unfortunately, the current state of the world weighs heavily on him, and the cycle begins anew. Message Yahweh has finally come to his senses! Unfortunately, his favorite robes got caught in the burning bush and the cycle begins anew.

[show] The Simpsons: Tapped Out Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale quests
The Ol' Frazzle Dazzle • Space Cadet • Hallowed Be Thy Shame • Tire Fire and Brimstone • Stupid vs Sexy • The True Meaning of Christmas
The Leader	Unhappy Hunting
Krusty Claus	The Lap of Luxury
Sexy Santa Marge	Packing Heat
Baby Jesus	WWBJD
Moses	The Chain of Command
Yahweh	The Mid-Life Tribulation
King Herod	Filmed to Death
Andre	Heaven Forbidden