Stupid vs Sexy

Stupid vs Sexy

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 12 Update: Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale Required characters: Homer, Mr. Burns, Marge, Lisa, Sexy Santa Marge Optional characters: Yahweh, The Leader, Rabbi Krustofsky, Smithers, King Herod, Baby Jesus, Moses, See Currency-earning jobs Previous quest(s): The Ol' Frazzle Dazzle Pt. 2 Next quest(s): The True Meaning of Christmas

Stupid vs Sexy is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

Between January 5, 2021 and January 13, 2021 You must be this The Leader I've been hearing so much about. In the flesh. What can I do ya for? Yahweh? What are you doing here? Got summoned, major drag. Tell me about it. You two know each other? Depends who you ask. Well, I hope you're not here to try to stop The Leader. He's a good guy. Other than the whippings, but those were well-deserved. We're just having a good time here, doing surprisingly lucrative manual labor to prepare things for our new home on Blisstonia. Well, this all seems to be in order. I see no reason why we can't all coexist. Perhaps we could do more. Have you had a chance to see...my spaceship? Eh, that's cool. Not really my thing. Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x150). If Yahweh is owned: Task: "Make Yahweh Play Hacky-Sack With The Leader". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If The Leader is owned: Task: "Make The Leader Play Hacky-Sack With Yahweh". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Rabbi Krustofsky is owned: Task: "Make Rabbi Krustofsky Plead With Yahweh for Some Smiting". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Endure Another Whipping". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. I'm sorry, Marge. We've worked our way to the top of the religion ladder. There's nobody left to pray to. Maybe we were praying in the wrong direction. It's a bit unconventional, but I guess we could try asking Satan. Satan is Santa spelled sideways, sort of, right? You wished to speak with me? Mr. Burns. Your employee, Homer Simpson, has fallen in with a cult! Will you help us? A cult, eh? And what sort of automatons does this cult turn people into? Mindless! Mmm, that's the best kind, really. The sentient ones always want to know why you created them, and then they always seem so hurt when you say to make money. Quest reward: 100 and 10 XMAS Trees Lot

Pt. 2

After completing Pt. 1 Smithers, what is the tax status of this cult? Exempt. That is worrying. I may no longer be the most evil man in Springfield! Perhaps we should form our own religion. We'd need some sort of belief system, preferably in book form. My Rungs of Ruthlessness will be our bible. Commandment One: When in Doubt, Release The Hounds. Commandment Two: Conceal Your Control of the Kerosene Industry Through an Impenetrable Web of Trusts. If we need more commandments we can steal them from Jay G's 50 Rules of Ruthlessness. Is that really the sort of message we want to send? I guess we must be a religion: we've already got our Judas. Excuse me, fine chaps. Have you seen a baby around? About yea-high, long golden locks. Insufferably smug face. Can't say that we have, sorry friend. Quite alright. Thanks for your time. Toodles. ... What a handsome man. Indeed. Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x150). If Mr. Burns is owned: Task: "Make Mr. Burns Start a Cult". The job takes place at Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Smithers is owned: Task: "Make Smithers Sort Out the Tax Exemption Paperwork". The job takes place at Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If King Herod is owned: Task: "Make King Herod Search for Baby Jesus". The job takes place at Shops and takes 4 hours. I'm sorry, Yahweh, but now we have the Movementarians, the Burnsentarians, and the Christians to deal with. I tried fire and brimstone with Moses but he's a book short of a Pentateuch, if you know what I mean. It's time to bring the chastisement as only you can. That was the old me. *laughs* I was such a hothead. Plagues of Locusts? Laying waste to Sodom AND Gomorrah? Who was that guy? Those were your greatest hits! It's time to dust off the classics. I prefer to work in mysterious ways now. Ways that look mysteriously like not working at all. Don't push your luck, Rabbi! You want a little of what Nineveh got? There's the wrathful Lord who made the Old Testament a ratings hit! They changed the "God" character so much in the New Testament, it was basically a new book. By the way, are you ever going to finish the Bible? It's been more than 2000 years since the last book. The fans are getting impatient. I don't owe the fans anything. I'm living my life. They should try living theirs. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Christmas Ignorers United Billboard

Pt. 3

After completing Pt. 2 Can you make Homer come home, Grampa? Are you nuts? I can't even make him come visit me for an hour! Besides, if I go over there, the next thing you know I'll be handing out pamphlets in the park. I'm what the Navy doctors called weak-minded! I've already been a member of Sailors for Satan, the Order of the Purple Pyramid, and the Harvard Lampoon! So many weirdos! Anyhow, you've got better ways of persuading him than I do. If I was you, I'd use 'em! Maybe there is one more card I could play. A Christmas card, I mean... Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x150). Task: "Make Marge Buy a Sexy Outfit". The job takes place at Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Gold Navy, Abercrombie & Rich, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Accidentally See Marge's Sexy Outfit". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. *gasp* Mom, what is this outfit? It seems to be missing the arms, and the legs, and the...upper chest area. Oh, uh...you weren't supposed to see that. But I suppose now is as good a time as any. Lisa, uh...so there are birds and there are bees. And sometimes the birds think the bees are cute, for some reason, and uh... Oh my gosh, Mom, please don't try to have the birds and the bees talk with me. I've lived on the streets of Springfield. I've seen things. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Sexy Santa Marge

Pt. 4

After completing Pt. 3 Oh, Homie... I have something to show you... *gasp* Security! Don't let him see her outfit! Marge? Is that – *drooling* Don't you want to come back home with me, Homie? Homer, no! You must resist! Must...resist... Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x150). Task: "Make Sexy Santa Marge Try to be Sexy". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Try to Resist". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If The Leader is owned: Task: "Make The Leader Fire Up the Spaceship as a Distraction". The job takes place at the Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Baby Jesus is owned: Task: "Make Baby Jesus Steal the Spaceship When No One's Looking". The job takes place at the Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Burns Hand Out Burnsentarian Pamphlets". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Rabbi Krustofsky is owned: Task: "Make Rabbi Krustofsky Demand Yahweh Smite Them All". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Yahweh is owned: Task: "Make Yahweh Play Some More Hacky-Sack". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If King Herod is owned: Task: "Make King Herod Overhear the Commotion". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Must...go with...sexy Santa... Alright, Homer. You brought this on yourself. *whips him* Ow! What's happening? Where am I? Hey, that's cheating! Oh, and that outfit isn't?! Security, get her outta here! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Sea Captain Sleigh

Pt. 5

After completing Pt. 4 Homer, you've shown some real fortitude today. I think you're just about ready for the spaceship. Woohoo! There's nothing about this cult that I don't love! Alright, The Leader, we've completed our list of complaints to be addressed. First and foremost, we need cable in the rooms. Second and...next foremost, Selma needs a shorter robe. These legs gotta breathe under here. Oh right, I forgot about them. I want to be any place other than here! Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x175). Task: "Make Homer Go Home". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Sexy Santa Marge Change Outfits". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Baby Jesus is owned: Task: "Make Baby Jesus Leave After Two Minutes of Patty". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Leave After Two Minutes of Selma". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If King Herod is owned: Task: "Make King Herod Wonder Where Baby Jesus Went". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Baby Jesus was here? And you just...let him go? I didn't LET him go. Baby Jesus choked my guard with his toga and stole my spaceship. If you see him, you can tell him that he's dead to me. DEAD! Yes...dead...wouldn't that be nice...mwwaaahahahahaha... I just meant like figuratively. Yes, me too. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Toy Town and 1

Currency-earning jobs

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward Spelunk Caves for Candy Canes Homer, Bart, Marge, Rev. Lovejoy, Ned, Mr. Burns, Krusty, Wiggum, Moe, Rabbi Krustofsky 4h Candy Cave, Evil Candy Cave, King Winter's Cave, Bear Cave, Forest Cave, Elf Cave, Moe's Cavern, Bully-vern's Cave, Carl's Dad Caverns, Bartman Cave, Curvaceous Cave, Brown House 5, 45 Search Under Shop Shelves for Candy Canes The Leader, Baby Jesus, King Herod, Yahweh Kwik-E-Mart, Brown House 8, 70

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale quests
The Ol' Frazzle Dazzle • Space Cadet • Hallowed Be Thy Shame • Tire Fire and Brimstone • Stupid vs Sexy • The True Meaning of Christmas
The Leader	Unhappy Hunting
Krusty Claus	The Lap of Luxury
Sexy Santa Marge	Packing Heat
Baby Jesus	WWBJD
Moses	The Chain of Command
Yahweh	The Mid-Life Tribulation
King Herod	Filmed to Death
Andre	Heaven Forbidden