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Difference between revisions of "Stupid vs Sexy"

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{{Tapped Out Quest
 
{{Tapped Out Quest
 
|name = Stupid vs Sexy
 
|name = Stupid vs Sexy
−
|image =  
+
|image = [[File:Tapped Out Stupid vs Sexy Icon.png|x100px]]
 
|level = 12
 
|level = 12
 
|update = {{TOCU|Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale}}
 
|update = {{TOCU|Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale}}
 
|requirements =  
 
|requirements =  
−
|characters =  
+
|characters = [[Homer]], [[Mr. Burns]], [[Marge]], [[Lisa]], [[Sexy Santa Marge]]
−
|optional =  
+
|optional = [[Yahweh]], [[The Leader]], [[Rabbi Krustofsky]], [[Smithers]], [[King Herod]], [[Baby Jesus]], [[Moses]], See [[#Currency-earning jobs|Currency-earning jobs]]
 +
|internal = StupidVsSexy
 +
|id = 239017 - 239021, 239823
 
|previous = {{TOQP|The Ol' Frazzle Dazzle|2}}
 
|previous = {{TOQP|The Ol' Frazzle Dazzle|2}}
 
|next = [[The True Meaning of Christmas]]
 
|next = [[The True Meaning of Christmas]]
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== Dialogue ==
 
== Dialogue ==
 
=== Pt. 1 ===
 
=== Pt. 1 ===
−
{{Table|
+
{{Table|width=80%|
 
{{THT|Between January 5, [[2021]] and January 13, 2021|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|Between January 5, [[2021]] and January 13, 2021|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
Line 39: Line 41:
 
{{TB|Well, this all seems to be in order. I see no reason why we can't all coexist.}}
 
{{TB|Well, this all seems to be in order. I see no reason why we can't all coexist.}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon|Happy}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon|Happy}}
−
{{TB|Perhaps we could do more. Have you had a chance to see…my spaceship?}}
+
{{TB|Perhaps we could do more. Have you had a chance to see...my spaceship?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Yahweh Icon}}
 
{{TB|Eh, that's cool. Not really my thing.}}
 
{{TB|Eh, that's cool. Not really my thing.}}
Line 78: Line 80:
 
{{TB|My Rungs of Ruthlessness will be our bible. Commandment One: When in Doubt, Release The Hounds. Commandment Two: Conceal Your Control of the Kerosene Industry Through an Impenetrable Web of Trusts.}}
 
{{TB|My Rungs of Ruthlessness will be our bible. Commandment One: When in Doubt, Release The Hounds. Commandment Two: Conceal Your Control of the Kerosene Industry Through an Impenetrable Web of Trusts.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
−
{{TB|If we need more commandments we can steal them from Jay G's 50 Rules of Ruthlessness.}}
+
{{TB|If we need more commandments we can steal them from [[Jay G]]'s 50 Rules of Ruthlessness.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Sad}}
 
{{TB|Is that really the sort of message we want to send?}}
 
{{TB|Is that really the sort of message we want to send?}}
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{{TB|Quite alright. Thanks for your time. Toodles.}}
 
{{TB|Quite alright. Thanks for your time. Toodles.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
−
{{TB|…}}
+
{{TB|...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
 
{{TB|What a handsome man.}}
 
{{TB|What a handsome man.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Dreamy}}
 
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon|Dreamy}}
 
{{TB|Indeed.}}
 
{{TB|Indeed.}}
−
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Candy Canes|150}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Mr. Burns Start a Cult|4 hours|[[Burns Cult Headquarters]], [[Cooling Towers]], [[Control Building]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Mr. Burns]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Smithers Sort Out the Tax Exemption Paperwork|4 hours|[[Burns Cult Headquarters]], [[Cooling Towers]], [[Control Building]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Smithers]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make King Herod Search for Baby Jesus|4 hours|{{TOG|Shop}}s}}|colspan=2}}
+
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Candy Canes|150}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Mr. Burns Start a Cult|4 hours|[[Burns Cult Headquarters]], [[Cooling Towers]], [[Control Building]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Mr. Burns]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Smithers Sort Out the Tax Exemption Paperwork|4 hours|[[Burns Cult Headquarters]], [[Cooling Towers]], [[Control Building]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Smithers]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make King Herod Search for Baby Jesus|4 hours|{{TOG|Shop}}s|char=[[King Herod]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Rabbi Krustofsky Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Rabbi Krustofsky Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{TB|I'm sorry, Yahweh, but now we have the [[Movementarians]], the Burnsentarians, and the Christians to deal with.}}
 
{{TB|I'm sorry, Yahweh, but now we have the [[Movementarians]], the Burnsentarians, and the Christians to deal with.}}
Line 137: Line 139:
 
{{TB|Anyhow, you've got better ways of persuading him than I do. If I was you, I'd use 'em!}}
 
{{TB|Anyhow, you've got better ways of persuading him than I do. If I was you, I'd use 'em!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon}}
−
{{TB|Maybe there is one more card I could play. A Christmas card, I mean…}}
+
{{TB|Maybe there is one more card I could play. A Christmas card, I mean...}}
 
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Candy Canes|150}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Marge Buy a Sexy Outfit|4 hours|[[Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne]], [[Gold Navy]], [[Abercrombie & Rich]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Accidentally See Marge's Sexy Outfit|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Candy Canes|150}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Marge Buy a Sexy Outfit|4 hours|[[Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne]], [[Gold Navy]], [[Abercrombie & Rich]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Lisa Accidentally See Marge's Sexy Outfit|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
−
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} Mom, what is this outfit? It seems to be missing the arms, and the legs, and the…upper chest area.}}
+
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} Mom, what is this outfit? It seems to be missing the arms, and the legs, and the...upper chest area.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Nervous}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Nervous}}
−
{{TB|Oh, uh…you weren't supposed to see that. But I suppose now is as good a time as any.}}
+
{{TB|Oh, uh...you weren't supposed to see that. But I suppose now is as good a time as any.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Nervous}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Nervous}}
−
{{TB|Lisa, uh…so there are birds and there are bees. And sometimes the birds think the bees are cute, for some reason, and uh…}}
+
{{TB|Lisa, uh...so there are birds and there are bees. And sometimes the birds think the bees are cute, for some reason, and uh...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Eye Roll}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Eye Roll}}
 
{{TB|Oh my gosh, Mom, please don't try to have the birds and the bees talk with me. I've lived on the streets of Springfield. I've seen things.}}
 
{{TB|Oh my gosh, Mom, please don't try to have the birds and the bees talk with me. I've lived on the streets of Springfield. I've seen things.}}
Line 154: Line 156:
 
{{THT|After completing Pt. 3|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|After completing Pt. 3|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sexy Santa Marge Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Sexy Santa Marge Icon}}
−
{{TB|Oh, Homie… I have something to show you…}}
+
{{TB|Oh, Homie... I have something to show you...}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon|Surprised}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon|Surprised}}
 
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} Security! Don't let him see her outfit!}}
 
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} Security! Don't let him see her outfit!}}
Line 164: Line 166:
 
{{TB|Homer, no! You must resist!}}
 
{{TB|Homer, no! You must resist!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Drool}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Drool}}
−
{{TB|Must…resist…}}
+
{{TB|Must...resist...}}
 
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Candy Canes|150}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Sexy Santa Marge Try to be Sexy|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Try to Resist|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make The Leader Fire Up the Spaceship as a Distraction|4 hours|the [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[The Leader]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Baby Jesus Steal the Spaceship When No One's Looking|4 hours|the [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Baby Jesus]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Burns Hand Out Burnsentarian Pamphlets|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Rabbi Krustofsky Demand Yahweh Smite Them All|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Rabbi Krustofsky]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Yahweh Play Some More Hacky-Sack|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Yahweh]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make King Herod Overhear the Commotion|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[King Herod]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Candy Canes|150}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Sexy Santa Marge Try to be Sexy|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Try to Resist|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make The Leader Fire Up the Spaceship as a Distraction|4 hours|the [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[The Leader]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Baby Jesus Steal the Spaceship When No One's Looking|4 hours|the [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Baby Jesus]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Burns Hand Out Burnsentarian Pamphlets|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Rabbi Krustofsky Demand Yahweh Smite Them All|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Rabbi Krustofsky]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Yahweh Play Some More Hacky-Sack|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Yahweh]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make King Herod Overhear the Commotion|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[King Herod]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Drool}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Drool}}
−
{{TB|Must…go with…sexy Santa…}}
+
{{TB|Must...go with...sexy Santa...}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon}}
 
{{TB|Alright, Homer. You brought this on yourself. {{*}}whips him{{*}}}}
 
{{TB|Alright, Homer. You brought this on yourself. {{*}}whips him{{*}}}}
Line 187: Line 189:
 
{{TB|Woohoo! There's nothing about this cult that I don't love!}}
 
{{TB|Woohoo! There's nothing about this cult that I don't love!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Patty Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Patty Icon}}
−
{{TB|Alright, The Leader, we've completed our list of complaints to be addressed. First and foremost, we need cable in the rooms. Second and…next foremost, Selma needs a shorter robe.}}
+
{{TB|Alright, The Leader, we've completed our list of complaints to be addressed. First and foremost, we need cable in the rooms. Second and...next foremost, Selma needs a shorter robe.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Selma Icon|Happy}}
 
{{Tapped Out Selma Icon|Happy}}
 
{{TB|These legs gotta breathe under here.}}
 
{{TB|These legs gotta breathe under here.}}
Line 196: Line 198:
 
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Candy Canes|175}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Go Home|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Sexy Santa Marge Change Outfits|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Baby Jesus Leave After Two Minutes of Patty|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Baby Jesus]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Leave After Two Minutes of Selma|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make King Herod Wonder Where Baby Jesus Went|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[King Herod]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|{{Task|Collect Candy Canes|175}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Homer Go Home|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Job|Make Sexy Santa Marge Change Outfits|4 hours|the [[Simpson House]] or a [[Brown House]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Baby Jesus Leave After Two Minutes of Patty|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Baby Jesus]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make Moses Leave After Two Minutes of Selma|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[Moses]]}}<br>{{Task/Optional|Make King Herod Wonder Where Baby Jesus Went|4 hours|the [[Movementarian Compound]], [[Movementarian Ad Truck]], [[Cult Flying Saucer]], [[Simpson House]], or a [[Brown House]]|char=[[King Herod]]}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out King Herod Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out King Herod Icon|Annoyed}}
−
{{TB|Baby Jesus was here? And you just…let him go?}}
+
{{TB|Baby Jesus was here? And you just...let him go?}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{TB|I didn't LET him go. Baby Jesus choked my guard with his toga and stole my spaceship.}}
 
{{TB|I didn't LET him go. Baby Jesus choked my guard with his toga and stole my spaceship.}}
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{{TB|If you see him, you can tell him that he's dead to me. DEAD!}}
 
{{TB|If you see him, you can tell him that he's dead to me. DEAD!}}
 
{{Tapped Out King Herod Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out King Herod Icon}}
−
{{TB|Yes…dead…wouldn't that be nice…mwwaaahahahahaha…}}
+
{{TB|Yes...dead...wouldn't that be nice...mwwaaahahahahaha...}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out The Leader Icon}}
 
{{TB|I just meant like figuratively.}}
 
{{TB|I just meant like figuratively.}}
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{{TB|Yes, me too.}}
 
{{TB|Yes, me too.}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>[[Toy Town]] and {{H2020MBT|1}}|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>[[Toy Town]] and {{H2020MBT|1}}|colspan=2}}
 +
}}
 +
 +
== Currency-earning jobs ==
 +
{{Table|
 +
{{THT|Task}}
 +
{{TH|Character(s)}}
 +
{{TH|Time}}
 +
{{TH|Location(s)}}
 +
{{TH|Reward|width=200px}}
 +
{{TBT|Spelunk Caves for Candy Canes}}
 +
{{TB|[[Homer]], [[Bart]], [[Marge]], [[Rev. Lovejoy]], [[Ned]], [[Mr. Burns]], [[Krusty]], [[Wiggum]], [[Moe]], [[Rabbi Krustofsky]]}}
 +
{{TRs|4h|2}}
 +
{{TB|[[Candy Cave]], [[Evil Candy Cave]], [[King Winter's Cave]], [[Bear Cave]], [[Forest Cave]], [[Elf Cave]], {{Moe's Cavern}}, [[Bully-vern's Cave]], [[Carl's Dad Caverns]], [[Bartman Cave]], [[Curvaceous Cave]], [[Brown House]]}}
 +
{{TB|{{CandyC|5}}, {{XP|45}}}}
 +
{{TBT|Search Under Shop Shelves for Candy Canes}}
 +
{{TB|[[The Leader]], [[Baby Jesus]], [[King Herod]], [[Yahweh]]}}
 +
{{TB|{{TOG|Kwik-E-Mart}}, [[Brown House]]}}
 +
{{TB|{{CandyC|8}}, {{XP|70}}}}
 
}}
 
}}
  
 
{{Tapped Out Quests/Clash of Creeds}}
 
{{Tapped Out Quests/Clash of Creeds}}

Latest revision as of 15:04, May 8, 2025


Stupid vs Sexy
Tapped Out Stupid vs Sexy Icon.png
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 12
Update: Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale
Required characters: Homer, Mr. Burns, Marge, Lisa, Sexy Santa Marge
Optional characters: Yahweh, The Leader, Rabbi Krustofsky, Smithers, King Herod, Baby Jesus, Moses, See Currency-earning jobs
Internal name(s): StupidVsSexy
ID(s): 239017 - 239021, 239823
Previous quest(s): The Ol' Frazzle Dazzle Pt. 2
Next quest(s): The True Meaning of Christmas


Stupid vs Sexy is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

Between January 5, 2021 and January 13, 2021
Yahweh You must be this The Leader I've been hearing so much about.
The Leader - Happy In the flesh. What can I do ya for?
Baby Jesus - Surprised Yahweh? What are you doing here?
Yahweh - Annoyed Got summoned, major drag.
Baby Jesus - Annoyed Tell me about it.
The Leader You two know each other?
Yahweh Depends who you ask.
Homer - Serious Well, I hope you're not here to try to stop The Leader. He's a good guy. Other than the whippings, but those were well-deserved.
The Leader We're just having a good time here, doing surprisingly lucrative manual labor to prepare things for our new home on Blisstonia.
Yahweh Well, this all seems to be in order. I see no reason why we can't all coexist.
The Leader - Happy Perhaps we could do more. Have you had a chance to see...my spaceship?
Yahweh Eh, that's cool. Not really my thing.
Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x150).
If Yahweh is owned: Task: "Make Yahweh Play Hacky-Sack With The Leader". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If The Leader is owned: Task: "Make The Leader Play Hacky-Sack With Yahweh". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Rabbi Krustofsky is owned: Task: "Make Rabbi Krustofsky Plead With Yahweh for Some Smiting". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Endure Another Whipping". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Ned - Sad I'm sorry, Marge. We've worked our way to the top of the religion ladder. There's nobody left to pray to.
Marge - Thoughtful Maybe we were praying in the wrong direction.
Ned - Thinking It's a bit unconventional, but I guess we could try asking Satan. Satan is Santa spelled sideways, sort of, right?
Mr. Burns - Diabolical You wished to speak with me?
Marge - Sad Mr. Burns. Your employee, Homer Simpson, has fallen in with a cult! Will you help us?
Mr. Burns A cult, eh? And what sort of automatons does this cult turn people into?
Marge - Annoyed Mindless!
Mr. Burns - Diabolical Mmm, that's the best kind, really. The sentient ones always want to know why you created them, and then they always seem so hurt when you say to make money.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
XMAS Trees Lot

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Mr. Burns Smithers, what is the tax status of this cult?
Smithers Exempt.
Mr. Burns - Annoyed That is worrying. I may no longer be the most evil man in Springfield!
Mr. Burns - Happy Perhaps we should form our own religion.
Smithers We'd need some sort of belief system, preferably in book form.
Mr. Burns - Diabolical My Rungs of Ruthlessness will be our bible. Commandment One: When in Doubt, Release The Hounds. Commandment Two: Conceal Your Control of the Kerosene Industry Through an Impenetrable Web of Trusts.
Mr. Burns If we need more commandments we can steal them from Jay G's 50 Rules of Ruthlessness.
Smithers - Sad Is that really the sort of message we want to send?
Mr. Burns - Annoyed I guess we must be a religion: we've already got our Judas.
King Herod - Happy Excuse me, fine chaps. Have you seen a baby around? About yea-high, long golden locks. Insufferably smug face.
Mr. Burns Can't say that we have, sorry friend.
King Herod - Happy Quite alright. Thanks for your time. Toodles.
Mr. Burns ...
Mr. Burns What a handsome man.
Smithers - Dreamy Indeed.
Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x150).
If Mr. Burns is owned: Task: "Make Mr. Burns Start a Cult". The job takes place at Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Smithers is owned: Task: "Make Smithers Sort Out the Tax Exemption Paperwork". The job takes place at Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If King Herod is owned: Task: "Make King Herod Search for Baby Jesus". The job takes place at Shops and takes 4 hours.
Rabbi Krustofsky - Annoyed I'm sorry, Yahweh, but now we have the Movementarians, the Burnsentarians, and the Christians to deal with.
Rabbi Krustofsky - Annoyed I tried fire and brimstone with Moses but he's a book short of a Pentateuch, if you know what I mean. It's time to bring the chastisement as only you can.
Yahweh That was the old me. *laughs* I was such a hothead. Plagues of Locusts? Laying waste to Sodom AND Gomorrah? Who was that guy?
Rabbi Krustofsky - Happy Those were your greatest hits! It's time to dust off the classics.
Yahweh - Surprised I prefer to work in mysterious ways now.
Rabbi Krustofsky - Annoyed Ways that look mysteriously like not working at all.
Yahweh - Annoyed Don't push your luck, Rabbi! You want a little of what Nineveh got?
Rabbi Krustofsky - Surprised There's the wrathful Lord who made the Old Testament a ratings hit!
Rabbi Krustofsky They changed the "God" character so much in the New Testament, it was basically a new book.
Rabbi Krustofsky By the way, are you ever going to finish the Bible? It's been more than 2000 years since the last book. The fans are getting impatient.
Yahweh - Annoyed I don't owe the fans anything. I'm living my life. They should try living theirs.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Christmas Ignorers United Billboard

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Marge - Sad Can you make Homer come home, Grampa?
Grampa - Annoyed Are you nuts? I can't even make him come visit me for an hour!
Grampa - Serious Besides, if I go over there, the next thing you know I'll be handing out pamphlets in the park. I'm what the Navy doctors called weak-minded!
Grampa I've already been a member of Sailors for Satan, the Order of the Purple Pyramid, and the Harvard Lampoon!
Marge - Confused So many weirdos!
Grampa Anyhow, you've got better ways of persuading him than I do. If I was you, I'd use 'em!
Marge Maybe there is one more card I could play. A Christmas card, I mean...
Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x150).
Task: "Make Marge Buy a Sexy Outfit". The job takes place at Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Gold Navy, Abercrombie & Rich, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Accidentally See Marge's Sexy Outfit". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Lisa - Shocked *gasp* Mom, what is this outfit? It seems to be missing the arms, and the legs, and the...upper chest area.
Marge - Nervous Oh, uh...you weren't supposed to see that. But I suppose now is as good a time as any.
Marge - Nervous Lisa, uh...so there are birds and there are bees. And sometimes the birds think the bees are cute, for some reason, and uh...
Lisa - Eye Roll Oh my gosh, Mom, please don't try to have the birds and the bees talk with me. I've lived on the streets of Springfield. I've seen things.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Sexy Santa Marge

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Sexy Santa Marge Oh, Homie... I have something to show you...
The Leader - Surprised *gasp* Security! Don't let him see her outfit!
Homer - Drool Marge? Is that – *drooling*
Sexy Santa Marge Don't you want to come back home with me, Homie?
The Leader Homer, no! You must resist!
Homer - Drool Must...resist...
Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x150).
Task: "Make Sexy Santa Marge Try to be Sexy". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Try to Resist". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If The Leader is owned: Task: "Make The Leader Fire Up the Spaceship as a Distraction". The job takes place at the Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Baby Jesus is owned: Task: "Make Baby Jesus Steal the Spaceship When No One's Looking". The job takes place at the Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Burns Hand Out Burnsentarian Pamphlets". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Rabbi Krustofsky is owned: Task: "Make Rabbi Krustofsky Demand Yahweh Smite Them All". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Yahweh is owned: Task: "Make Yahweh Play Some More Hacky-Sack". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If King Herod is owned: Task: "Make King Herod Overhear the Commotion". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Homer - Drool Must...go with...sexy Santa...
The Leader Alright, Homer. You brought this on yourself. *whips him*
Homer - Pained Ow! What's happening? Where am I?
Sexy Santa Marge - Annoyed Hey, that's cheating!
The Leader Oh, and that outfit isn't?! Security, get her outta here!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Sea Captain Sleigh

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4
The Leader Homer, you've shown some real fortitude today. I think you're just about ready for the spaceship.
Homer - Woo Hoo Woohoo! There's nothing about this cult that I don't love!
Patty Alright, The Leader, we've completed our list of complaints to be addressed. First and foremost, we need cable in the rooms. Second and...next foremost, Selma needs a shorter robe.
Selma - Happy These legs gotta breathe under here.
Homer - Annoyed Oh right, I forgot about them.
Homer - Yell I want to be any place other than here!
Task: "Collect Candy Canes" (x175).
Task: "Make Homer Go Home". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Sexy Santa Marge Change Outfits". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Baby Jesus is owned: Task: "Make Baby Jesus Leave After Two Minutes of Patty". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Moses is owned: Task: "Make Moses Leave After Two Minutes of Selma". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If King Herod is owned: Task: "Make King Herod Wonder Where Baby Jesus Went". The job takes place at the Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
King Herod - Annoyed Baby Jesus was here? And you just...let him go?
The Leader - Annoyed I didn't LET him go. Baby Jesus choked my guard with his toga and stole my spaceship.
The Leader - Annoyed If you see him, you can tell him that he's dead to me. DEAD!
King Herod Yes...dead...wouldn't that be nice...mwwaaahahahahaha...
The Leader I just meant like figuratively.
King Herod - Annoyed Yes, me too.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Toy Town and Holiday 2020 Mystery Box Token1

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward
Spelunk Caves for Candy Canes Homer, Bart, Marge, Rev. Lovejoy, Ned, Mr. Burns, Krusty, Wiggum, Moe, Rabbi Krustofsky 4h Candy Cave, Evil Candy Cave, King Winter's Cave, Bear Cave, Forest Cave, Elf Cave, Moe's Cavern, Bully-vern's Cave, Carl's Dad Caverns, Bartman Cave, Curvaceous Cave, Brown House Candy Cane5, XP45
Search Under Shop Shelves for Candy Canes The Leader, Baby Jesus, King Herod, Yahweh Kwik-E-Mart, Brown House Candy Cane8, XP70


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