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Damage Control

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Damage Control
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: The Van Houtens
Required characters: Secretary Van Houten
Optional characters: President Lisa

Damage Control is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in The Van Houtens content update. It requires Secretary Van Houten to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
Secretary Van Houten Madam President, the latest approval numbers are in.
President Lisa You don't have to keep calling me Madam President. We've known each other since we were in diapers.
Secretary Van Houten - Sad Perhaps not as long ago as we'd like to admit.
President Lisa Really?
Secretary Van Houten - Happy Anyway, about your approval rating — it's twice as high as any president in the last thirty-five years. A whopping 51%!
President Lisa I'm glad to hear it. Though, it's concerning that so few Americans have been satisfied with their president in such a long time.
Secretary Van Houten Well, the rise of the Civil Unrest Party caused the Global Dominators to kill off the New Feudalists and opened the door for the We the Party People party.
President Lisa - Annoyed I'm well aware of our nation's history, Milhouse. Now, was there anything else?
Secretary Van Houten I was thinking you might want to show your gratitude with an address to the nation.
President Lisa - Happy Good idea. Let's fit it in between golfing with the Sino-Soviet trade delegation and parasailing with the ambassador to the Magic Kingdom.
Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Prepare Lisa's Speech". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If President Lisa is owned: Task: "Make President Lisa Prepare for Her Speech". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
Man-in-Tan Secretary Van Houten. May I have a moment?
Secretary Van Houten Who are you?
Man-in-Tan A nameless lackey with ties to the deep state.
Secretary Van Houten But the deep state doesn't exist.
Man-in-Tan And if you want to keep it that way, you'll listen to what I have to say. Our oppo research has revealed that you have a thing for the president.
Secretary Van Houten - Surprised What — No! Who told you that?
Man-in-Tan Relax, I'm only here to help. Now, here's the proposition...
Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Listen to the Proposition". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Secretary Van Houten You really think that would work?
Man-in-Tan Absolutely. My source has assured me that the president is extremely fond of public displays of affection during nationally televised speeches.
Secretary Van Houten That seems like an awfully specific piece of intelligence. Who is your source?
Man-in-Tan I could tell you that, but then I'd have to kill you.
Secretary Van Houten - Surprised Oh, God please no, don't tell me, don't tell me!
Man-in-Tan Uh...that was just an expression. Anyway, we just want to see the president "happy".
Secretary Van Houten - Happy Well, when you put it in oddly menacing quotation marks...it sounds like a great idea!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
President Lisa - Happy My fellow Americans, you honor me and my administration with your historic high marks and praise.
President Lisa I'd like to particularly thank the donors who gave the maximum amount below what is required for public disclosure.
Secretary Van Houten Madam President, we have a situation.
President Lisa Not now, Milhouse, can't you see I'm in the middle of a speech?
Secretary Van Houten - Happy Exactly. *lifts boombox over his head* President Lisa, I love you. Will you marry me?
President Lisa - Surprised Are you insane?
Secretary Van Houten - Happy Is that a yes?!
President Lisa - Annoyed Ugh, it's a hard no! Not in a million years!
President Lisa Ahem. Apologies for the interruption. Now where was I?
President Lisa Oh yes, when I took over the presidency, America was a global embarrassment. I felt that pain then, and I REALLY feel it right now...
Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Wallow in Shame". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If President Lisa is owned: Task: "Make President Lisa Be Embarrassed". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
President Lisa - Annoyed Milhouse! What has gotten into you? How could you embarrass me like that on national television?
Secretary Van Houten - Sad I'm sorry, Lisa. I got some bad intel. What can I do to help?
President Lisa Call a cabinet meeting. I need the Secretary of Social Media and the Deputy Director for Trending Hashtags to advise me on #omgshebmean.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
Secretary Van Houten Walking briskly down long hallways in the West Wing is the perfect place to think...
Secretary Van Houten I need to do something. I got Lisa into this situation, so it's up to me to bail her out... I've got it!
Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Twirl His Sign". The job takes 8 hours.
Secretary Van Houten - Sad It's no use. This sign twirling gets less attention than climate change.
Secretary Van Houten - Annoyed Hey you! You're the guy who told me to propose to Lisa on camera!
Man-in-Tan Easy there, guy. I never told you to propose.
Man-in-Tan Although it was absolutely hilarious the way she turned you down. I haven't laughed that hard since the day we shot that Go-Go Ray at Skinner.
Secretary Van Houten - Surprised Bart?! Is that you?
Mooch Bart - Happy Took ya long enough to guess. You're more gullible than CIA Director Ralph Wiggum.
Secretary Van Houten - Sad How could you do that to me? I humiliated myself in front of the whole country.
Mooch Bart More importantly, you humiliated Lisa. I just needed her taken down a peg. Mom's been going on and on about her since those approval ratings came in.
Mooch Bart - Annoyed I couldn't get her to make me a quesadilla last night. She wanted ME to do it so she could watch Lisa's stupid speech. Can you believe that?
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
President Lisa - Annoyed You put Milhouse up to this? Bart, do you understand the ramifications of what you've done?!
Mooch Bart Relax, Lis. This'll all blow over by the next news cycle. Which is in three...two...one...
Secretary Van Houten *panting* Lisa...you're not...going to...believe it...
President Lisa What now?
Secretary Van Houten - Happy Your approval rating...shot up...to 78%!
President Lisa - Surprised That's higher than the day President Gaga pushed Jeff Zuckerberg out of Air Force One. How is that possible?
Mooch Bart Probably because you turned down a lame-o like Milhouse.
Secretary Van Houten - Happy It's true! All of the pundits attribute your approval increase to everyone's disapproval of me! Isn't that great? I fixed it!
Secretary Van Houten So, since your approval rating is now the highest in history, how about a kiss?
President Lisa Well, we wouldn't want to upset the voters, would we, Milhouse?
Secretary Van Houten Uh, right. Okay. I'll just go sit in the Situation Room and listen to the rest of that song on my boombox.
Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Listen to His Boombox". The job takes place at Marine One or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20