Damage Control
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Tapped Out Quest Information
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Damage Control is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in The Van Houtens content update. It requires Secretary Van Houten to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
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Madam President, the latest approval numbers are in.
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You don't have to keep calling me Madam President. We've known each other since we were in diapers.
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Perhaps not as long ago as we'd like to admit.
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Really?
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Anyway, about your approval rating — it's twice as high as any president in the last thirty-five years. A whopping 51%!
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I'm glad to hear it. Though, it's concerning that so few Americans have been satisfied with their president in such a long time.
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Well, the rise of the Civil Unrest Party caused the Global Dominators to kill off the New Feudalists and opened the door for the We the Party People party.
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I'm well aware of our nation's history, Milhouse. Now, was there anything else?
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I was thinking you might want to show your gratitude with an address to the nation.
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Good idea. Let's fit it in between golfing with the Sino-Soviet trade delegation and parasailing with the ambassador to the Magic Kingdom.
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Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Prepare Lisa's Speech". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If President Lisa is owned: Task: "Make President Lisa Prepare for Her Speech". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
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Secretary Van Houten. May I have a moment?
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Who are you?
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A nameless lackey with ties to the deep state.
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But the deep state doesn't exist.
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And if you want to keep it that way, you'll listen to what I have to say. Our oppo research has revealed that you have a thing for the president.
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What — No! Who told you that?
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Relax, I'm only here to help. Now, here's the proposition...
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Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Listen to the Proposition". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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You really think that would work?
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Absolutely. My source has assured me that the president is extremely fond of public displays of affection during nationally televised speeches.
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That seems like an awfully specific piece of intelligence. Who is your source?
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I could tell you that, but then I'd have to kill you.
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Oh, God please no, don't tell me, don't tell me!
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Uh...that was just an expression. Anyway, we just want to see the president "happy".
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Well, when you put it in oddly menacing quotation marks...it sounds like a great idea!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
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My fellow Americans, you honor me and my administration with your historic high marks and praise.
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I'd like to particularly thank the donors who gave the maximum amount below what is required for public disclosure.
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Madam President, we have a situation.
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Not now, Milhouse, can't you see I'm in the middle of a speech?
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Exactly. *lifts boombox over his head* President Lisa, I love you. Will you marry me?
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Are you insane?
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Is that a yes?!
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Ugh, it's a hard no! Not in a million years!
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Ahem. Apologies for the interruption. Now where was I?
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Oh yes, when I took over the presidency, America was a global embarrassment. I felt that pain then, and I REALLY feel it right now...
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Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Wallow in Shame". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If President Lisa is owned: Task: "Make President Lisa Be Embarrassed". The job takes place at the U.S. Capitol Building, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Milhouse! What has gotten into you? How could you embarrass me like that on national television?
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I'm sorry, Lisa. I got some bad intel. What can I do to help?
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Call a cabinet meeting. I need the Secretary of Social Media and the Deputy Director for Trending Hashtags to advise me on #omgshebmean.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
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Walking briskly down long hallways in the West Wing is the perfect place to think...
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I need to do something. I got Lisa into this situation, so it's up to me to bail her out... I've got it!
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Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Twirl His Sign". The job takes 8 hours.
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It's no use. This sign twirling gets less attention than climate change.
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Hey you! You're the guy who told me to propose to Lisa on camera!
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Easy there, guy. I never told you to propose.
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Although it was absolutely hilarious the way she turned you down. I haven't laughed that hard since the day we shot that Go-Go Ray at Skinner.
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Bart?! Is that you?
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Took ya long enough to guess. You're more gullible than CIA Director Ralph Wiggum.
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How could you do that to me? I humiliated myself in front of the whole country.
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More importantly, you humiliated Lisa. I just needed her taken down a peg. Mom's been going on and on about her since those approval ratings came in.
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I couldn't get her to make me a quesadilla last night. She wanted ME to do it so she could watch Lisa's stupid speech. Can you believe that?
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Secretary Van Houten's exclamation mark
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You put Milhouse up to this? Bart, do you understand the ramifications of what you've done?!
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Relax, Lis. This'll all blow over by the next news cycle. Which is in three...two...one...
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*panting* Lisa...you're not...going to...believe it...
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What now?
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Your approval rating...shot up...to 78%!
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That's higher than the day President Gaga pushed Jeff Zuckerberg out of Air Force One. How is that possible?
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Probably because you turned down a lame-o like Milhouse.
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It's true! All of the pundits attribute your approval increase to everyone's disapproval of me! Isn't that great? I fixed it!
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So, since your approval rating is now the highest in history, how about a kiss?
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Well, we wouldn't want to upset the voters, would we, Milhouse?
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Uh, right. Okay. I'll just go sit in the Situation Room and listen to the rest of that song on my boombox.
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Task: "Make Secretary Van Houten Listen to His Boombox". The job takes place at Marine One or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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