| Making an Honest Buck
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Making an Honest Buck is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Simpsons Wrestling content update. It requires Honest Abe to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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Well, if it isn't Honest Abe!
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Burns, you've already recovered from the Diving Corkscrew Elbow Drop I gave you in the ring?
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My good man, that elbow drop did more for my back than my chiropractor has in thirty years.
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Do me again, Abe!
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*lifts Mr. Burns*
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*back cracking sounds* Aaaaahhh, that's some good old fashioned bone-on-bone action...
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| Task: "Make Honest Abe Piledrive Mr. Burns". The job takes place at the Backyard Wrestling Ring, Burns Manor, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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You okay, Mr. Burns?
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*laying on the ground* I can't feel my legs.
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Before they pained me so. Now nothing! I've never felt so alive!
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Smithers, pick me up! I want to do the Five Step Waltz! No...this is a celebration. Make it a Six Step Waltz!
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
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Abe, I don't think Body Slamming a hundred-plus year old man is very wise.
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You're right, Marge. I should stick to slamming ninety-year-olds!
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I mean you're no spring chicken yourself. You shouldn't be getting in the ring at all at your age.
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At my age?! I'd Body Slam you right now if it wouldn't make Christmas awkward!
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That's it. I challenge the whole darn town! Five hundred bucks to anyone who dares take Honest Abe in the ring.
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Hmm, five hundred bucks would buy a lot of sleeves for my vest...
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| Task: "Make Honest Abe Give Nelson a Half-Nelson". The job takes place at Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, the Backyard Wrestling Ring, or a Brown House and takes 8 hours.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Abe, you can't beat up a little kid. That's our job.
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Now unhand that bully. And I'll take the cash as evidence.
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Evidence?
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Here's fifty bucks to forget this ever happened.
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A hundred bucks puts me in a coma till next Tuesday.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Honest Abe's exclamation mark
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If I can't wrestle little kids anymore, what's the point of being alive?
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Come on, Grampa. There's gotta be somebody who'll take your challenge.
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Prepare to meet your maker, Abe.
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Reverend?! Jesus climbed onto a cross, but you climbing into a ring is a whole different thing.
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Ned, the Good Book tells us that Jesus will return in the end times heavily tattooed, wearing blood-soaked robes, with swords coming out of his mouth.
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This is as close to Jesus as I can get. I'm getting in that ring and laying down the law. The Law of Moses!
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Well, I can't recite a contradictory scripture so... tag team?
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So it is written... tag team.
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| Task: "Make Honest Abe Tag Team the Bible Thumpers". The job takes place at Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, the Backyard Wrestling Ring, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Timothy Lovejoy! Why in God's name are you wrestling?!
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That's exactly why, Helen. All in God's name.
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And Ned! You're wrestling too?
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I got a tag team dream with a death wish for a death match!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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Abe, old friend. If you wish to prove you're still the best in the squared circle, you'll have to fight... Glamorous Godfrey!
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Glamorous Godfrey? But he's retired! Also, side note: he's ME! I can't fight myself.
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Did I hear something about molecular DNA disjointification cloning?
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Cloning?! Is that even possible?
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With this machine it is! The BIFURCATION-inator. That stands for Breaking Into Flesh Until Really Catastrophic Anatomical—
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I'm sitting down. This explanation is longer than I thought.
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--Tearing Is Only Natural... inator.
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I'll sit down now too.
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| Task: "Make Honest Abe Clone Himself With the BIFURCATION-inator". The job takes place at Springfield Wrestling Pavilion or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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*poofing into existence* What the--?! Who took me away from my preening mirror?
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I can't believe it worked! This is a scientific achievement of the highest order!
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Wait. You mean you never tested this thing before?!
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Let's not focus on the details. What's important is that... uh-oh Godfrey is disintegrating, and melting, and... poof, he's gone.
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Making a note here... solid progress.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Wolfcastle's exclamation mark
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Abe, I accept your challenge. But if I win then the money goes to Charity.
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Charity? Then I'd be honored to lose. Which charity?
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Charity is my mistress.
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I shoulda known it was a screwy offer. I'll be damned if--
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Charity runs an organization for underprivileged children.
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Oh, sorry. Okay, but before I get in the ring with you, I want to see your preening skills.
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I thought only Glamorous Godfrey concerned himself with preening.
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I don't see preening!
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Okay, okay, like this?
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More strut! Work the hair!
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My body doesn't move like that! *crack*
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Ach! My back! *falls to the ground* I can't... go on...
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Oh, well. Guess I'll just take my money then. I'm off to the spa. Give my best to Charity!
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| Task: "Make Honest Abe Get a Spa Treatment". The job takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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