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Difference between revisions of "Out Cold"

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{{TB|So what happened last night? Who did this to Santa?}}
 
{{TB|So what happened last night? Who did this to Santa?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Annoyed}}
−
{{TB|Well, for one, we were both attacked. But I'm barely getting a mention on the news or social media. I mean, I get it, Santa's the big name…}}
+
{{TB|Well, for one, we were both attacked. But I'm barely getting a mention on the news or social media. I mean, I get it, Santa's the big name...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shocked}}
 
{{TB|So you were both attacked.}}
 
{{TB|So you were both attacked.}}
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{{TB|So, Herb, did you get a look at the assailants? Any defining features? Tattoos? Scars? Unique catchphrases?}}
 
{{TB|So, Herb, did you get a look at the assailants? Any defining features? Tattoos? Scars? Unique catchphrases?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon}}
−
{{TB|I didn't get a good look at the guy. He was big, though. Missing teeth and foaming at the mouth…}}
+
{{TB|I didn't get a good look at the guy. He was big, though. Missing teeth and foaming at the mouth...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon}}
 
{{TB|After he bashed Santa with the axe, I tried to stop him, but he hacked off one of my limbs and got away.}}
 
{{TB|After he bashed Santa with the axe, I tried to stop him, but he hacked off one of my limbs and got away.}}
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{{TB|Like Groot?}}
 
{{TB|Like Groot?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Annoyed}}
−
{{TB|Everybody has to bring up Groot… But, yes, exactly like Groot.}}
+
{{TB|Everybody has to bring up Groot... But, yes, exactly like Groot.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 
{{TB|Well, the next logical step is to check the crime scene for clues. Would you mind telling us where it happened?}}
 
{{TB|Well, the next logical step is to check the crime scene for clues. Would you mind telling us where it happened?}}
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{{TB|Then scenario over. Because I'm not playing Watson.}}
 
{{TB|Then scenario over. Because I'm not playing Watson.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
−
{{TB|I didn't think you would care! You're being very un-Watson-y right now…}}
+
{{TB|I didn't think you would care! You're being very un-Watson-y right now...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 
{{TB|Okay, fine, if you don't want to be Watson, you can be Irene Adler.}}
 
{{TB|Okay, fine, if you don't want to be Watson, you can be Irene Adler.}}
Line 92: Line 92:
 
{{TB|But I'm Sherlock. The only thing different between us is he plays the violin, and I play the saxophone. Also, his serious heroin addiction.}}
 
{{TB|But I'm Sherlock. The only thing different between us is he plays the violin, and I play the saxophone. Also, his serious heroin addiction.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Annoyed}}
−
{{TB|Fine… I'll be Watson.}}
+
{{TB|Fine... I'll be Watson.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Dreamy}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Dreamy}}
 
{{TB|You're finally acting like the Watson I hoped and dreamed you'd be!}}
 
{{TB|You're finally acting like the Watson I hoped and dreamed you'd be!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Thoughtful}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Thoughtful}}
−
{{TB|As long as you're happy…}}
+
{{TB|As long as you're happy...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Happy}}
−
{{TB|Now…and I've always wanted to say this…"the game is afoot, Watson".}}
+
{{TB|Now...and I've always wanted to say this..."the game is afoot, Watson".}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>[[Homer's Snowmobile]] + animated job|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>[[Homer's Snowmobile]] + animated job|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
}}
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{{TB|And here we are. Santa was giving me a tour of Santa's Village — ugh, he's always naming things after himself.}}
 
{{TB|And here we are. Santa was giving me a tour of Santa's Village — ugh, he's always naming things after himself.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon}}
−
{{TB|Anyway, we had just gotten off the reindeer ride: "Soarin' Through California Chimneys". It was weird because, you know, not many houses in California have chimneys…}}
+
{{TB|Anyway, we had just gotten off the reindeer ride: "Soarin' Through California Chimneys". It was weird because, you know, not many houses in California have chimneys...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
−
{{TB|Okay…and then what happened?}}
+
{{TB|Okay...and then what happened?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon}}
 
{{TB|Well, Santa was explaining to me how he doesn't always deliver presents through chimneys and that's when all of a sudden, we were attacked.}}
 
{{TB|Well, Santa was explaining to me how he doesn't always deliver presents through chimneys and that's when all of a sudden, we were attacked.}}
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{{TB|Yeah, Santa's Village is a weird place for Mr. Burns to hang out. He hates Christmas.}}
 
{{TB|Yeah, Santa's Village is a weird place for Mr. Burns to hang out. He hates Christmas.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Thoughtful}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Thoughtful}}
−
{{TB|That's true… But it couldn't have been him. I don't think he's strong enough to hold an axe over his head and hit someone with it…}}
+
{{TB|That's true... But it couldn't have been him. I don't think he's strong enough to hold an axe over his head and hit someone with it...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Suspicious}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Suspicious}}
 
{{TB|Don't worry, I'll Sherlock the truth out of him.}}
 
{{TB|Don't worry, I'll Sherlock the truth out of him.}}
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{{TB|You were at your {{*}}whispers{{*}} that happens once a {{*}}whispers{{*}} on that private island.}}
 
{{TB|You were at your {{*}}whispers{{*}} that happens once a {{*}}whispers{{*}} on that private island.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
−
{{TB|Ah, I see. I was at the secret annual Insider Trading Conference, where the world's leading insiders gather to trade the rarest of Pokémon cards…as well as discuss which stocks to buy using our insider knowledge.}}
+
{{TB|Ah, I see. I was at the secret annual Insider Trading Conference, where the world's leading insiders gather to trade the rarest of Pokémon cards...as well as discuss which stocks to buy using our insider knowledge.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
−
{{TB|So…insider trading?}}
+
{{TB|So...insider trading?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon}}
 
{{TB|And then afterward, you went {{*}}whispers{{*}} with the elves that {{*}}whispers{{*}} and then you {{*}}whispers{{*}}.}}
 
{{TB|And then afterward, you went {{*}}whispers{{*}} with the elves that {{*}}whispers{{*}} and then you {{*}}whispers{{*}}.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
−
{{TB|Ah, I remember now, yes. After the conference, I retired to my mansion where I am overseeing the design and construction of my Christmas present to myself: a fully-operational sleigh made of…bones.}}
+
{{TB|Ah, I remember now, yes. After the conference, I retired to my mansion where I am overseeing the design and construction of my Christmas present to myself: a fully-operational sleigh made of...bones.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Smithers Icon}}
 
{{TB|And if you don't believe Mr. Burns, you can ask each and every one of the elves I personally interviewed and hired to build his "bone sleigh".}}
 
{{TB|And if you don't believe Mr. Burns, you can ask each and every one of the elves I personally interviewed and hired to build his "bone sleigh".}}
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{{THT|After completing Pt. 2|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|After completing Pt. 2|colspan=2}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Sad}}
−
{{TB|This is the scene of the crime. This is very triggering for me…}}
+
{{TB|This is the scene of the crime. This is very triggering for me...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Sad}}
−
{{TB|You know, having also been attacked…}}
+
{{TB|You know, having also been attacked...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Herb Tannenbaum Icon|Sad}}
−
{{TB|So I'm going to step back and let you do your investigating…}}
+
{{TB|So I'm going to step back and let you do your investigating...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 
{{TB|Sure, Herb. Thanks for all the help. And just so we're clear: you're definitely not one of our suspects.}}
 
{{TB|Sure, Herb. Thanks for all the help. And just so we're clear: you're definitely not one of our suspects.}}
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{{TB|And as you can see, the bark on this juniper tree has, within it, broken bits of handblown glass.}}
 
{{TB|And as you can see, the bark on this juniper tree has, within it, broken bits of handblown glass.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Confused}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Confused}}
−
{{TB|Oh… I didn't notice any of that.}}
+
{{TB|Oh... I didn't notice any of that.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon}}
 
{{TB|Because you were just looking, Watson. You must observe.}}
 
{{TB|Because you were just looking, Watson. You must observe.}}
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{{TB|Then no. Why would I want to eat something shaped like myself? Would you eat a cookie version of yourself?}}
 
{{TB|Then no. Why would I want to eat something shaped like myself? Would you eat a cookie version of yourself?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Thoughtful}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Thoughtful}}
−
{{TB|I probably would…}}
+
{{TB|I probably would...}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>Krusty Billboard Bundle|colspan=2}}
 
{{THT|Quest reward: {{Cash|100}} and {{XP|10}}<br>Krusty Billboard Bundle|colspan=2}}
 
}}
 
}}
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{{TB|I'd be impressed if Usain Bolt was still on the team — but he retired because he's old — like you.}}
 
{{TB|I'd be impressed if Usain Bolt was still on the team — but he retired because he's old — like you.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Determined}}
 
{{Tapped Out Bart Icon|Determined}}
−
{{TB|Plus, we've got a snowmobile… Horsepower beats dogpower! Boom!}}
+
{{TB|Plus, we've got a snowmobile... Horsepower beats dogpower! Boom!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon}}
 
{{TB|Oh, I forgot to mention. On top of having super-fast Jamaican-trained hounds, my sleigh is made of unicorn and dragon bones.}}
 
{{TB|Oh, I forgot to mention. On top of having super-fast Jamaican-trained hounds, my sleigh is made of unicorn and dragon bones.}}
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{{TB|Yeah, and what sort of sleigh power do you have?}}
 
{{TB|Yeah, and what sort of sleigh power do you have?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Cautious}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Cautious}}
−
{{TB|{{*}}fingers crossed{{*}} Not magic, not magic, not magic, not magic…}}
+
{{TB|{{*}}fingers crossed{{*}} Not magic, not magic, not magic, not magic...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Krusty Icon|Confident}}
 
{{Tapped Out Krusty Icon|Confident}}
−
{{TB|My sleigh runs on the power of corporate sponsorships…}}
+
{{TB|My sleigh runs on the power of corporate sponsorships...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Skeptical}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Skeptical}}
 
{{TB|Lame!}}
 
{{TB|Lame!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Krusty Icon|Joking}}
 
{{Tapped Out Krusty Icon|Joking}}
−
{{TB|…and super-concentrated expired burger meat!}}
+
{{TB|...and super-concentrated expired burger meat!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Surprised}}
 
{{Tapped Out Homer Icon|Surprised}}
 
{{TB|We're screwed!}}
 
{{TB|We're screwed!}}
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{{TB|Sure, the points diminish every week, expire after a year, and you can't use them on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Christian Holidays, and all the Jewish Holidays, even the obscure ones no one's ever heard of.}}
 
{{TB|Sure, the points diminish every week, expire after a year, and you can't use them on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Christian Holidays, and all the Jewish Holidays, even the obscure ones no one's ever heard of.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Park Ranger Icon|Confused}}
 
{{Tapped Out Park Ranger Icon|Confused}}
−
{{TB|So…never?}}
+
{{TB|So...never?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Krusty Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Krusty Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{TB|Look, why do you care so much about how I pay you? Isn't the whole point of this race to support Santa because he got injured or whatever?}}
 
{{TB|Look, why do you care so much about how I pay you? Isn't the whole point of this race to support Santa because he got injured or whatever?}}
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{{TB|Well, I think we've found everything we can find here at the crime scene. Where to next?}}
 
{{TB|Well, I think we've found everything we can find here at the crime scene. Where to next?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Suspicious}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Suspicious}}
−
{{TB|Wait a second, is that…}}
+
{{TB|Wait a second, is that...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Confused}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Confused}}
 
{{TB|Lisa, what's wrong? Why are you staring at that Santa?}}
 
{{TB|Lisa, what's wrong? Why are you staring at that Santa?}}
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{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} What?! Santa is back?!}}
 
{{TB|{{*}}gasp{{*}} What?! Santa is back?!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Curious}}
−
{{TB|He looks different…}}
+
{{TB|He looks different...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Santa Sideshow Bob Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Santa Sideshow Bob Icon}}
 
{{TB|Ho-ho-ho! Lisa Simpson, didn't anyone ever teach you it's not kind to stare?}}
 
{{TB|Ho-ho-ho! Lisa Simpson, didn't anyone ever teach you it's not kind to stare?}}
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{{TB|I'm merely here for the role I was born to play: Kris Kringle at Santa's Village. Would you keep an old man from earning a living?}}
 
{{TB|I'm merely here for the role I was born to play: Kris Kringle at Santa's Village. Would you keep an old man from earning a living?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Shouting}}
−
{{TB|I don't buy your "I turned a new leaf" act! Everything points to you: motive, proximity, and…well, motive!}}
+
{{TB|I don't buy your "I turned a new leaf" act! Everything points to you: motive, proximity, and...well, motive!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Santa Sideshow Bob Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Santa Sideshow Bob Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{TB|Motive? What possible motive could I have?}}
 
{{TB|Motive? What possible motive could I have?}}
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{{TB|To take over for Santa and have an excuse to creep around inside people's houses?}}
 
{{TB|To take over for Santa and have an excuse to creep around inside people's houses?}}
 
{{Tapped Out Santa Sideshow Bob Icon|Annoyed}}
 
{{Tapped Out Santa Sideshow Bob Icon|Annoyed}}
−
{{TB|Pfft, that's ridiculous. I wouldn't…that's…}}
+
{{TB|Pfft, that's ridiculous. I wouldn't...that's...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Santa Sideshow Bob Icon}}
 
{{Tapped Out Santa Sideshow Bob Icon}}
 
{{TB|Actually, that's not the worst idea.}}
 
{{TB|Actually, that's not the worst idea.}}
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{{TB|As a matter of fact, I do. I was serving time in the Springfield Penitentiary. I didn't get out until the following morning.}}
 
{{TB|As a matter of fact, I do. I was serving time in the Springfield Penitentiary. I didn't get out until the following morning.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Eye Roll}}
 
{{Tapped Out Lisa Icon|Eye Roll}}
−
{{TB|Man, everyone has such solid alibis these days…}}
+
{{TB|Man, everyone has such solid alibis these days...}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Sad}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Sad}}
 
{{TB|Yeah, plus everyone's got so much interesting stuff going on.}}
 
{{TB|Yeah, plus everyone's got so much interesting stuff going on.}}
Line 426: Line 426:
 
{{TB|You're the police! You're supposed to be investigating it!}}
 
{{TB|You're the police! You're supposed to be investigating it!}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Guilty}}
 
{{Tapped Out Wiggum Icon|Guilty}}
−
{{TB|Oh…right…yeah… I heard you two were trying to solve that whole Santa thing, so I thought I'd give you your space to handle it.}}
+
{{TB|Oh...right...yeah... I heard you two were trying to solve that whole Santa thing, so I thought I'd give you your space to handle it.}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Angry}}
 
{{Tapped Out Marge Icon|Angry}}
 
{{TB|{{*}}annoyed grumble{{*}}}}
 
{{TB|{{*}}annoyed grumble{{*}}}}

Latest revision as of 12:38, June 29, 2025


Out Cold
Tapped Out Get Well Card Sidebar.png
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 15
Update: Holiday Whodunnit
Required characters: Lisa, Homer
Optional characters: Marge, Dr. Hibbert, Mr. Burns, Park Ranger, Bart, Krusty, Herb Tannenbaum, See Currency-earning jobs
Internal name(s): OutCold
ID(s): 251001 - 251005
Previous quest(s): No Crime Like the Present
Next quest(s): Winner, Winner Cookie Dinner


Out Cold is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Holiday Whodunnit content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After completing No Crime Like the Present
Lisa - Worried Oh Santa, what happened to you?
Dr. Hibbert Someone bashed him in the back of the head with a blunt object. And now he's unconscious. *chuckles*
Dr. Hibbert We'll never be sure exactly what hit him, but I'd say something wooden, based on all these splinters I tweezed out.
Herb Tannenbaum He was hit with an axe handle.
Marge and Lisa - Shocked Aaaah!
Dr. Hibbert Herb, what'd I say about standing in the corner of the room? People assume you're an actual Christmas tree decoration instead of what you really are: a living and breathing actual Christmas tree decoration.
Lisa - Confused You're a talking Christmas tree?
Herb Tannenbaum Herb Tannenbaum, nice to meet ya. I'm an old buddy of Santa's. We were in the same fraternity at North Pole University.
Herb Tannenbaum - Team Flag Go Frost Giants! Frost! Frost! Frost! Ice! Ice! Ice!
Lisa - Curious So what happened last night? Who did this to Santa?
Herb Tannenbaum - Annoyed Well, for one, we were both attacked. But I'm barely getting a mention on the news or social media. I mean, I get it, Santa's the big name...
Lisa - Shocked So you were both attacked.
Marge - Confused Wait a minute. Can we go back to the part where you're a talking Christmas tree who went to college with Santa?
Lisa - Eye Roll Mom, it's not that big of a stretch — I mean, we're standing inside Santa Claus's hospital room. Just go with it.
Herb Tannenbaum - Annoyed Yeah, just go with it, Marge.
Lisa So, Herb, did you get a look at the assailants? Any defining features? Tattoos? Scars? Unique catchphrases?
Herb Tannenbaum I didn't get a good look at the guy. He was big, though. Missing teeth and foaming at the mouth...
Herb Tannenbaum After he bashed Santa with the axe, I tried to stop him, but he hacked off one of my limbs and got away.
Lisa - Worried Oh my gosh! That's horrible!
Herb Tannenbaum I'll be fine. I grow fast.
Lisa - Happy Like Groot?
Herb Tannenbaum - Annoyed Everybody has to bring up Groot... But, yes, exactly like Groot.
Lisa Well, the next logical step is to check the crime scene for clues. Would you mind telling us where it happened?
Herb Tannenbaum Why tell you when I can take you there myself?
Marge - Surprised You can walk?
Herb Tannenbaum - Annoyed Yes, I can walk. But I'd rather drive — Santa's Village is not really walking distance.
Task: "Collect Get-Well Cards" (x125).
Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia".
If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Come to Terms With Herb's Existence". The job takes place at Springfield General Hospital, Hibbert Family Practice, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Follow Herb". The job takes place at Springfield General Hospital, Hibbert Family Practice, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
If Dr. Hibbert is owned: Task: "Make Hibbert Be Sad His Christmas Decoration is Leaving". The job takes place at Springfield General Hospital, Hibbert Family Practice, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Marge I think I'm starting to come to terms with the idea of a walking, talking, Christmas tree.
Lisa So, are you finally ready to Sherlock this mystery?
Marge Ooh, so I'm the Sherlock in this scenario?
Lisa - Deadpan No, you're definitely the Watson. I'm the Sherlock.
Marge - Annoyed Then scenario over. Because I'm not playing Watson.
Lisa - Curious I didn't think you would care! You're being very un-Watson-y right now...
Lisa Okay, fine, if you don't want to be Watson, you can be Irene Adler.
Marge - Angry Who the heck is she? Just let me be Sherlock!
Lisa - Worried But I'm Sherlock. The only thing different between us is he plays the violin, and I play the saxophone. Also, his serious heroin addiction.
Marge - Annoyed Fine... I'll be Watson.
Lisa - Dreamy You're finally acting like the Watson I hoped and dreamed you'd be!
Marge - Thoughtful As long as you're happy...
Lisa - Happy Now...and I've always wanted to say this..."the game is afoot, Watson".
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Homer's Snowmobile + animated job

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Herb Tannenbaum And here we are. Santa was giving me a tour of Santa's Village — ugh, he's always naming things after himself.
Herb Tannenbaum Anyway, we had just gotten off the reindeer ride: "Soarin' Through California Chimneys". It was weird because, you know, not many houses in California have chimneys...
Lisa Okay...and then what happened?
Herb Tannenbaum Well, Santa was explaining to me how he doesn't always deliver presents through chimneys and that's when all of a sudden, we were attacked.
Lisa Were you guys in a crowd of people? Alone?
Mr. Burns - Annoyed Smithers! Please remove this marshmallow from my hot cocoa. It's making the mug too heavy.
Marge - Confused Wait, what is Mr. Burns doing here?
Lisa - Curious Yeah, Santa's Village is a weird place for Mr. Burns to hang out. He hates Christmas.
Marge - Thoughtful That's true... But it couldn't have been him. I don't think he's strong enough to hold an axe over his head and hit someone with it...
Lisa - Suspicious Don't worry, I'll Sherlock the truth out of him.
Lisa - Suspicious Mr. Burns, where were you on the night of Santa's attack?
Herb Tannenbaum - Annoyed How many times do I have to say this: I was attacked too!
Lisa - Eye Roll *clears throat* Okay, where were you on the night Santa and Herb were attacked?
Mr. Burns I have a perfectly good alibi. Smithers, what's my alibi?
Smithers - Eye Roll You were at your *whispers* that happens once a *whispers* on that private island.
Mr. Burns Ah, I see. I was at the secret annual Insider Trading Conference, where the world's leading insiders gather to trade the rarest of Pokémon cards...as well as discuss which stocks to buy using our insider knowledge.
Lisa - Curious So...insider trading?
Smithers And then afterward, you went *whispers* with the elves that *whispers* and then you *whispers*.
Mr. Burns Ah, I remember now, yes. After the conference, I retired to my mansion where I am overseeing the design and construction of my Christmas present to myself: a fully-operational sleigh made of...bones.
Smithers And if you don't believe Mr. Burns, you can ask each and every one of the elves I personally interviewed and hired to build his "bone sleigh".
Marge Well, that's evil and weird, but it's also a good alibi if the elves back up his story.
Lisa And if there's one thing I'm pretty sure I know about elves — they never tell lies.
Marge - Confused Is that true?
Lisa Sounds true.
Herb Tannenbaum Just go with it, Marge.
Task: "Collect Get-Well Cards" (x150).
Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia".
If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Listen to a Crime Podcast". The job takes place at Santa's Village, Santa's Workshop, Christmas Tree Farm, Christmas Carousel, Santa's House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Lisa Practice by Finding the Zodiac Killer". The job takes place at Santa's Village, Santa's Workshop, Christmas Tree Farm, Christmas Carousel, Santa's House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Mr. Burns is owned: Task: "Make Burns Take His Sleigh for a Ride". The job takes place at Santa's Village, Santa's Workshop, Christmas Tree Farm, Christmas Carousel, Santa's House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Homer - Happy Can I get one beef bowl with extra beef?
Squeaky Voice Teen Okay, one beef bowl with extra beef coming right up.
Homer - Mouth Full *eating* Mhhm, here's the beef.
Mr. Costington Hey! Did you give that customer extra beef in his bowl for free?
Squeaky Voice Teen Yes.
Mr. Costington Then you're fired!
Squeaky Voice Teen - Sad Aw, man.
Kirk - Happy Can I get my job back now?
Mr. Costington No!
Kirk - Annoyed Then I guess I'll just have to win that race to become the next Santa!
Homer - Sarcastic You? The new Santa?
Homer - Happy You've got no chance. I'm the Tim Allen in this "Santa Claus" movie ripoff!
Kirk - Annoyed Doesn't Santa die in that movie?
Homer He does. And it's not weird at all.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
White Witch Burns Sleigh + animated job

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Herb Tannenbaum - Sad This is the scene of the crime. This is very triggering for me...
Herb Tannenbaum - Sad You know, having also been attacked...
Herb Tannenbaum - Sad So I'm going to step back and let you do your investigating...
Lisa Sure, Herb. Thanks for all the help. And just so we're clear: you're definitely not one of our suspects.
Herb Tannenbaum Thanks, Lisa. *leaves*
Lisa - Deadpan He totally did it.
Marge - Suspicious He is being awfully helpful. Too helpful.
Lisa Maybe sentient Christmas trees are like that, though.
Marge Yeah probably. Anyway, there's not much to this crime scene, is there?
Lisa - Sneaky Elementary, Watson.
Marge But the only thing I can see is snow.
Lisa - Sly You see? You do not observe, Watson. For example: a gentle brush of the snow reveals a wild array of footprints underneath which suggests a struggle.
Lisa - Suspicious And as you can see, the bark on this juniper tree has, within it, broken bits of handblown glass.
Marge - Confused Oh... I didn't notice any of that.
Lisa Because you were just looking, Watson. You must observe.
Marge - Annoyed You're kind of being mean.
Herb Tannenbaum You guys find any clues or leads? Oh! My ornament!
Lisa - Curious What ornament?
Herb Tannenbaum - Sad It looks like the piece of broken glass you're holding is from one of my most special ornaments. *sniffles* I feel like I've lost a part of me, because I did.
Lisa I'm sorry, Herb. My Mom could still piece it back together for you. She's really good at arts and crafts.
Herb Tannenbaum - Happy Thank you, Lisa. If a part of your body fell off and broke into pieces, I'd help put it back together too.
Lisa Ah, that's so sweet.
Lisa - Suspicious *whispering to Marge* Too sweet.
Marge Let's keep looking. There's always some critical piece of evidence that gets overlooked. At least according to my crime podcasts.
Task: "Collect Get-Well Cards" (x150).
Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia".
Task: "Make Lisa Get Out Her Magnifying Glass". The job takes place at Santa's Village, Santa's Workshop, Christmas Tree Farm, Christmas Carousel, Santa's House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Try to Rebuild Herb's Ornament". The job takes place at Santa's Village, Santa's Workshop, Christmas Tree Farm, Christmas Carousel, Santa's House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Lisa Mom, how's Herb's ornament coming along?
Marge - Sad It's all back together, but it's missing one last piece that I can't find anywhere. I'm sorry, Herb.
Herb Tannenbaum - Sad That's okay. I'll still wear it. *hangs the ornament on himself* It'll represent me perfectly — broken, and missing a piece. *sniffles*
Marge - Happy Do you want some Christmas cookies I made?
Herb Tannenbaum - Sad Are any of them decorated to look like little Christmas trees?
Marge Yes! They even have—
Herb Tannenbaum - Annoyed Then no. Why would I want to eat something shaped like myself? Would you eat a cookie version of yourself?
Marge - Thoughtful I probably would...
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Krusty Billboard Bundle

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Park Ranger - Happy Welcome to Mt. Useful, everyone. If you are interested in becoming Santa for eternity — or until the moment you're seriously injured — please sign up for the Santa Sleigh Race!
Park Ranger - Happy And remember we're all here to support Santa, and the best way to do that is to take his job from him while he's hospitalized.
Homer - Annoyed Yeah, screw that guy! Make way for the new generation of Santas!
Mr. Burns - Happy Yes, to the new generation — me!
Homer - Confused You? But you're older than Santa.
Mr. Burns Yes, but my hound-operated sleigh is the fastest in the world, so I'm going to win.
Homer - Annoyed Dogs can't pull a sled. That's so dumb! All you have to do is throw a tennis ball and they'll ride you off a cliff!
Mr. Burns My hounds are well-trained and faster than ever, fat man.
Mr. Burns This summer, they trained with the Jamaican National Track and Field Team.
Homer - Sarcastic I'd be impressed if Usain Bolt was still on the team — but he retired because he's old — like you.
Bart - Determined Plus, we've got a snowmobile... Horsepower beats dogpower! Boom!
Mr. Burns Oh, I forgot to mention. On top of having super-fast Jamaican-trained hounds, my sleigh is made of unicorn and dragon bones.
Mr. Burns And magic beats horsepower. So boom to you, sir!
Homer - Cautious Magic schmagic. *whispers* Bart, where can we buy magic from? Do they sell it at the mall?
Krusty - Happy You'll have to get past me and my sleigh first!
Bart - Curious Krusty? You're competing too?
Homer - Serious Yeah, and what sort of sleigh power do you have?
Homer - Cautious *fingers crossed* Not magic, not magic, not magic, not magic...
Krusty - Confident My sleigh runs on the power of corporate sponsorships...
Homer - Skeptical Lame!
Krusty - Joking ...and super-concentrated expired burger meat!
Homer - Surprised We're screwed!
Task: "Collect Get-Well Cards" (x150).
Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia".
If Park Ranger is owned: Task: "Make Park Ranger Oversee Race Sign-ups". The job takes place at Mt. Useful and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Rev the Snowmobile Aggressively". The job takes place at Homer's Snowmobile, Mt. Useful, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Wax the Snowmobile Skis". The job takes place at Homer's Snowmobile, Mt. Useful, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
If Mr. Burns is owned: Task: "Make Burns Win Olympic Gold With the Hounds". The job takes place at White Witch Burns Sleigh, Burns Manor, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Krusty is owned: Task: "Make Krusty Fill His Sleigh With Expired Burger Meat Fuel". The job takes place at Mt. Useful, Mountain Lodge, Sugarloaf Mountain, Homerlayas, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Park Ranger If you're here to schedule a sponsorship for the race, please check in with our business office in the visitor's center.
Krusty - Angry What? This race is taking other sponsors? We had a deal! My Krusty Burger sponsorship is exclusive!
Park Ranger - Annoyed Yes, but sir, you tried to pay us in gift cards to your restaurant. And the contract states that you must pay us in money.
Krusty - Eye Roll Money schmoney! Krusty Burger gift cards have value!
Krusty - Bored Sure, the points diminish every week, expire after a year, and you can't use them on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Christian Holidays, and all the Jewish Holidays, even the obscure ones no one's ever heard of.
Park Ranger - Confused So...never?
Krusty - Annoyed Look, why do you care so much about how I pay you? Isn't the whole point of this race to support Santa because he got injured or whatever?
Park Ranger - Happy Yes, and what better way to support him than by making tons of money off sponsors so we can finally afford our own presents and give that dude a break?
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Herb Tannenbaum

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4
Herb Tannenbaum Well, I think we've found everything we can find here at the crime scene. Where to next?
Lisa - Suspicious Wait a second, is that...
Marge - Confused Lisa, what's wrong? Why are you staring at that Santa?
Herb Tannenbaum - Happy *gasp* What?! Santa is back?!
Lisa - Curious He looks different...
Santa Sideshow Bob Ho-ho-ho! Lisa Simpson, didn't anyone ever teach you it's not kind to stare?
Marge - Nervous I'm so sorry, Mr. Santa. I don't know what's gotten into her. She just must be traumatized over what's happened to you.
Lisa - Angry Mom, this man is not Santa. I'd recognize that voice anywhere. *rips off Santa's hat*
Santa Sideshow Bob - No Hat Annoyed Unhand my hat, you star-headed scamp!
Marge - Angry Sideshow Bob?! How dare you make fun of the shape of my daughter's head! Also, who are you to talk with your ridiculous dreads!
Lisa - Angry Yeah, you look like you just walked out of a Counting Crows concert in 1993.
Santa Sideshow Bob - No Hat Annoyed Ooh, a burn that ninety percent of Tapped Out users are too young to get, even though The Counting Crows are clearly ubiquitous enough to make reference to.
Lisa - Suspicious So, Sideshow Bob, what are you doing here? Turning yourself in? Because you're obviously the one who hurt Santa!
Santa Sideshow Bob - Annoyed *puts hat back on* Aw, Lisa, so sweet of you to point your finger at the ex-con with a history of random and specific acts of violence.
Santa Sideshow Bob But alas, I've turned over a new leaf. I have very little desire for murder and violence these days. I just don't have the stomach for it anymore.
Marge - Suspicious So why are you here dressed in Santa's clothes?
Santa Sideshow Bob I'm merely here for the role I was born to play: Kris Kringle at Santa's Village. Would you keep an old man from earning a living?
Lisa - Shouting I don't buy your "I turned a new leaf" act! Everything points to you: motive, proximity, and...well, motive!
Santa Sideshow Bob - Annoyed Motive? What possible motive could I have?
Lisa - Nagging To take over for Santa and have an excuse to creep around inside people's houses?
Santa Sideshow Bob - Annoyed Pfft, that's ridiculous. I wouldn't...that's...
Santa Sideshow Bob Actually, that's not the worst idea.
Marge - Angry Well, do you have an alibi for the night of the attack?
Santa Sideshow Bob As a matter of fact, I do. I was serving time in the Springfield Penitentiary. I didn't get out until the following morning.
Lisa - Eye Roll Man, everyone has such solid alibis these days...
Marge - Sad Yeah, plus everyone's got so much interesting stuff going on.
Lisa - Curious How is jail interesting?
Marge - Sad I don't know. But if someone asked me for my alibi, I wish it'd be something cool! Instead it'd be something super boring like "doing the dishes", or "picking up the kids from school".
Santa Sideshow Bob Let me tell you, Marge. You don't want to end up in the slammer. Especially during COVID.
Marge Yeah. You're probably right, Sideshow Bob.
Lisa - Annoyed Mom, don't be so casual in front of Sideshow Bob — he's our main suspect.
Santa Sideshow Bob - Annoyed Ugh, really? It's just so obvious. Bad guy does bad thing? What's the twist?
Task: "Collect Get-Well Cards" (x175).
Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia".
Task: "Make Lisa Fact Check Sideshow Bob's Alibi". The job takes place at Santa's Village, Santa's Workshop, Christmas Tree Farm, Christmas Carousel, Santa's House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Be Proud of Lisa's Sleuthing". The job takes place at Santa's Village, Santa's Workshop, Christmas Tree Farm, Christmas Carousel, Santa's House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Herb Tannenbaum is owned: Task: "Make Herb Tannenbaum Tag Along". The job takes place at Santa's Village, Santa's Workshop, Christmas Tree Farm, Christmas Carousel, Santa's House, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Lisa - Happy I can't wait to fact check Sideshow Bob's alibi at the police station.
Marge - Surprised Whaaaa?! The police station's closed?! How can that be possible?!
Lisa - Annoyed We're talkin' about Wiggum. He closed the station for a week when the "Mad About You" reboot premiered.
Homer He just wanted to catch up with Jamie and Paul.
Bart Mabel's all grown up and gone to college.
Marge - Confused Bart, you've seen "Mad About You"?
Bart Kids my age are super into the old shows that pop-up on streaming. Last week I discovered "Get Smart", "Designing Women", and something called "The Nightly News".
Marge - Serious Speaking of old TV shows. Look at this sign on the front of the police station.
Lisa - Deadpan "OUT. REWATCHING LOST FINALE UNTIL I UNDERSTAND ENDING — CHIEF WIGGUM"
Wiggum - Pained Oh man, that's gonna take weeks to figure out!
Marge - Confused Wiggum?! You're here?
Wiggum Yeah, I accidentally left the drunk tank open, so I came back to lock up.
Barney - Drunk It's been open this whole time?
Marge - Serious Chief Wiggum, can you confirm that Sideshow Bob was incarcerated on the night of the attack against Santa?
Wiggum - Confused Yeah, I had Sideshow Bob in the slammer. Wait, what? There was an attack against Santa?
Lisa - Shouting You're the police! You're supposed to be investigating it!
Wiggum - Guilty Oh...right...yeah... I heard you two were trying to solve that whole Santa thing, so I thought I'd give you your space to handle it.
Marge - Angry *annoyed grumble*
Wiggum - Exhausted So can anyone just explain to me the end of "Lost"? It'd save me loads of time!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Santa's Castle and Holiday 2021 Mystery Box Token1

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward
Buy Get-Well Cards From the Store Lisa, Marge, Homer, Bart, Wiggum, Krusty, Snake, Sideshow Bob 4h Try-N-Save, Springfield Grocery Store, Kwik-E-Mart, Simpson House Get-Well Card5, XP45
Take Get-Well Cards From Visitor's Center Park Ranger Mt. Useful Get-Well Card8, XP70


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