Difference between revisions of "Ziff it to the Limit"

Latest revision as of 11:35, January 16, 2025

Ziff it to the Limit is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the A Simpsons Christmas Special content update. It requires Young Artie Ziff to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Young Artie Ziff's exclamation mark In conclusion, "public displays of affection" are detrimental to a high school's mission, which is education. They should be outlawed and punishable by immediate expulsion. Well put, Artie. And now, taking the "pro" side in this debate... Marge Bouvier. While my opponent makes some excellent points, he ignores the fact that we are inherently emotional beings. Not all of us! As an evolved teenager, my thought processes are entirely logical. We students are supposed to be learning about all aspects of life. And one of those is surely love. Love is a chemical process in the brain designed to prompt organisms to reproduce. Right, my fellow teenagers? An insightful and chilling argument, Mr. Ziff. I'm impressed and disturbed. Task: "Make Young Artie Try to Counter the Argument". The job takes place at Springfield High School, Springfield Library, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Seriously, Marge. I must have missed "Introduction to Love" in the school course guide. If you've never experienced love, Artie, then maybe you don't know EVERYTHING. An interesting proposition. Very well. I shall open myself to the feeling of love. There! I have just retasked a region of my neocortex to run algorithms based on emotion, not logic. Oh my stars. Look at those waves of blue hair. Look at those limpid eyes. Marge Bouvier is the embodiment of perfection! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Young Artie Ziff's exclamation mark What's come over me? Yesterday I was just your average, unfeeling, smartest teenager in the world. Today my heart is pounding! I hear music that defies all description! Everywhere I look, Marge Bouvier is there. I'm lost! A Ziff adrift! I enjoyed our debate today, Artie! You're really smart. I-I-I-I. Oh. Hmm. That is... er... der... duh... duuuuhhhhh.... ... Guuuuhhhhhh... Task: "Make Young Artie Be Tongue-Tied for the First Time". The job takes place at Springfield High School, Springfield Library, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Are you okay, Artie? For the first time in my life, yes! How shall I put this? My very loins are aflame with the inferno of masculine desire. Uh, okay! Whatever that means! Like I said, you're a real smart guy. See ya around! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Young Artie Ziff's exclamation mark Get your head together, Ziff! Find something to take your mind off Marge. Perhaps I should prove the Riemann hypothesis? No, too easy. I need something meatier... I could perfect my cold fusion device. No, the last thing the world needs is limitless clean energy... What about some painting? Ah, yes. Painting, like joke writing, is truly mankind's most complete waste of time. Out into the garden for some fresh air and sunlight! Task: "Make Young Artie be Creatively Creepy". The job takes place at the Marge Sculpture Garden and takes 4 hours. *sigh* Painting is no use. Even my highly refined brushwork and impeccable gouache cannot capture Marge's beauty. If I cannot escape her siren call, then I must make her mine. I wonder if she knows how lucky she is to have won the heart of Artie Ziff?! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3 Artie, Marge. I want a good clean debate today. No mocking each other. Why would I mock Artie? Well, like you, he takes debate class, which makes him a tremendous nerd. Again, like you. Anyway... get us started, Artie. Thank you, Mr. Chalmers. Beautiful Margery, prepare to experience the greatest joy a woman can know... Having a man tell her she's wrong about everything! Task: "Make Artie Ziff Dominate at Debate". The job takes place at Springfield High School or a Brown House and takes 8 hours. In conclusion, let me reiterate that string theory, though a useful thought experiment, is ultimately unverifiable and therefore moot! Marge, rebuttal. I... I thought we were debating whether pollution was bad? Well, yes. But I thought you deserved to be dazzled by my grasp of abstract mathematical theory. You're welcome! Actually, I was... a little bored. By Artie Ziff? Impossible! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4 Margery, I have wonderful news. I'm... interested in you. Congratulations! You are hereby approved to date me, Artie Ziff. Oh. Uh, Artie, I didn't realize your feelings ran that way... Well, they do! Your every wish is thus fulfilled, and your future is assured. You will not die alone. How splendid for you! Gee, I'm really not sure I'm interested... Then you soon shall be! Behold, the full glory of Artie Ziff! Task: "Make Young Artie Dance Like Marge is Watching". The job takes 24 hours. *panting* Shall we... shall we start planning the wedding? You seem very sure of yourself. Wouldn't you be, if you were me? Of course, if you WERE me, we'd make an even cuter couple! ...I'm sorry, Artie. But the man I marry will be a gentleman AND a scholar. And he'll have a full head of hair and washboard abs. *walks off* *yelling down the hall* You'll come around, Margery! Oh yes, you will! Or my name isn't Artie Ziff! Quest reward: 200 and 20