Difference between revisions of "Making an Honest Buck"

Latest revision as of 21:03, March 2, 2025

Making an Honest Buck is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Simpsons Wrestling content update. It requires Honest Abe to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark Well, if it isn't Honest Abe! Burns, you've already recovered from the Diving Corkscrew Elbow Drop I gave you in the ring? My good man, that elbow drop did more for my back than my chiropractor has in thirty years. Do me again, Abe! *lifts Mr. Burns* *back cracking sounds* Aaaaahhh, that's some good old fashioned bone-on-bone action... Task: "Make Honest Abe Piledrive Mr. Burns". The job takes place at the Backyard Wrestling Ring, Burns Manor, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. You okay, Mr. Burns? *laying on the ground* I can't feel my legs. Before they pained me so. Now nothing! I've never felt so alive! Smithers, pick me up! I want to do the Five Step Waltz! No...this is a celebration. Make it a Six Step Waltz! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark Abe, I don't think Body Slamming a hundred-plus year old man is very wise. You're right, Marge. I should stick to slamming ninety-year-olds! I mean you're no spring chicken yourself. You shouldn't be getting in the ring at all at your age. At my age?! I'd Body Slam you right now if it wouldn't make Christmas awkward! That's it. I challenge the whole darn town! Five hundred bucks to anyone who dares take Honest Abe in the ring. Hmm, five hundred bucks would buy a lot of sleeves for my vest... Task: "Make Honest Abe Give Nelson a Half-Nelson". The job takes place at Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, the Backyard Wrestling Ring, or a Brown House and takes 8 hours. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Abe, you can't beat up a little kid. That's our job. Now unhand that bully. And I'll take the cash as evidence. Evidence? Here's fifty bucks to forget this ever happened. A hundred bucks puts me in a coma till next Tuesday. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Honest Abe's exclamation mark If I can't wrestle little kids anymore, what's the point of being alive? Come on, Grampa. There's gotta be somebody who'll take your challenge. Prepare to meet your maker, Abe. Reverend?! Jesus climbed onto a cross, but you climbing into a ring is a whole different thing. Ned, the Good Book tells us that Jesus will return in the end times heavily tattooed, wearing blood-soaked robes, with swords coming out of his mouth. This is as close to Jesus as I can get. I'm getting in that ring and laying down the law. The Law of Moses! Well, I can't recite a contradictory scripture so... tag team? So it is written... tag team. Task: "Make Honest Abe Tag Team the Bible Thumpers". The job takes place at Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, the Backyard Wrestling Ring, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Timothy Lovejoy! Why in God's name are you wrestling?! That's exactly why, Helen. All in God's name. And Ned! You're wrestling too? I got a tag team dream with a death wish for a death match! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark Abe, old friend. If you wish to prove you're still the best in the squared circle, you'll have to fight... Glamorous Godfrey! Glamorous Godfrey? But he's retired! Also, side note: he's ME! I can't fight myself. Did I hear something about molecular DNA disjointification cloning? Cloning?! Is that even possible? With this machine it is! The BIFURCATION-inator. That stands for Breaking Into Flesh Until Really Catastrophic Anatomical— I'm sitting down. This explanation is longer than I thought. --Tearing Is Only Natural... inator. I'll sit down now too. Task: "Make Honest Abe Clone Himself With the BIFURCATION-inator". The job takes place at Springfield Wrestling Pavilion or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. *poofing into existence* What the--?! Who took me away from my preening mirror? I can't believe it worked! This is a scientific achievement of the highest order! Wait. You mean you never tested this thing before?! Let's not focus on the details. What's important is that... uh-oh Godfrey is disintegrating, and melting, and... poof, he's gone. Making a note here... solid progress. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Wolfcastle's exclamation mark Abe, I accept your challenge. But if I win then the money goes to Charity. Charity? Then I'd be honored to lose. Which charity? Charity is my mistress. I shoulda known it was a screwy offer. I'll be damned if-- Charity runs an organization for underprivileged children. Oh, sorry. Okay, but before I get in the ring with you, I want to see your preening skills. I thought only Glamorous Godfrey concerned himself with preening. I don't see preening! Okay, okay, like this? More strut! Work the hair! My body doesn't move like that! *crack* Ach! My back! *falls to the ground* I can't... go on... Oh, well. Guess I'll just take my money then. I'm off to the spa. Give my best to Charity! Task: "Make Honest Abe Get a Spa Treatment". The job takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 200 and 20