Difference between revisions of "No Business Like Snow Business"

Latest revision as of 12:38, June 29, 2025

No Business Like Snow Business

Tapped Out Quest Information

Level:	15
Update:	Holiday Whodunnit
Required characters:	Lisa, Marge, Krusty, Wiggum
Optional characters:	Herb Tannenbaum, Mary Tannenbaum, See Currency-earning jobs
Internal name(s):	NoBusinessLikeSnowBusiness
ID(s):	251006 - 251010
Previous quest(s):	No Crime Like the Present
Next quest(s):	Winner, Winner Cookie Dinner

No Business Like Snow Business is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Holiday Whodunnit content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

Between December 17, 2021 and January 12, 2022
	Now what do we do? We have no evidence, and no suspects.
	I have one. furrows brow Mr. Snake Jailbird.
	You're just profiling him for all his crimes in the past...
	What about...Hank Scorpio?
	I don't know, he's on the run in Belize. Plus, he's a crypto billionaire now — why would he do this?
	Fat Tony?
	Fat Tony loves all things Christmas. He hands out turkeys from his trucks. It's his favorite holiday.
	Well, while we think of other people to point fingers at, I could go for a bite to eat.
	I know of a few good vegetarian places.
	How about Krusty Burger? I'm in the mood for a nice beefy burger.
	You...eat meat?
	Living off chlorophyll sucks — it doesn't even scratch the surface of the food pyramid. I mean, what category would you put "sun" in anyway?
	You're a weird tree, Herb.
	So, burgers?
	Sure, they have a good meatless burger now!
	Let's do it!
Task: "Collect Magnifying Glasses" (x150). Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia". Task: "Make Lisa Go to Krusty Burger". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Herb Tannenbaum is owned: Task: "Make Herb Tannenbaum Go to Krusty Burger". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Go to Krusty Burger". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
	Get those decorations up! I need Krusty Burger decked out in full Christmas style!
	Krusty, aren't you Jewish?
	Christmas decorations are how you make money. Take a business class, kid.
	Excuse me, are you the little girl who's investigating the attack on Santa?
	Am I invisible? Does no one see me here?
	Yes, that's me. I'm Lisa Simpson.
	Excellent, you stand right there while I film some B-roll.
	Why are you filming my daughter? Don't we need to sign something first?
	Are you the mother?
	Well, yes.
	Even better! A mother-daughter crime-solving duo! That's perfect!
	Perfect for what?
	My true crime TV show!
	Whoa...that's so cool! Did your show start out as a podcast?
	It's the only way to get on TV these days.
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Santa Sideshow Bob

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
	So, welcome to my true crime show I'm making about this whole Santa attack mystery. It's like the movies I make for Heartmark but not romantic and cheesy, and much more gruesome.
	Oh, you work for Heartmark? That's my favorite channel!
	I should introduce myself. Mary Tannenbaum: Heartmark Senior Vice President of Romantic Mystery Content and Executive of the Pumpkin Spice Murder Division.
	Oh, well I'm Marge. Senior...mother of three beautiful children.
	Three children? You look incredible!
	So, you're making a true crime show?
	That's the plan. And you and your mother would be a large part of my vision. You could help piece together the clues, film reenactments...
	I'll just need you to sign this five hundred and twenty-four page stack of standard release forms.
	And what part will I play in your film, as someone who was also attacked alongside Santa?
	Probably insignificant. It's obvious Santa was the main target. And our focus groups don't respond well to sentient arboreal beings in lead roles.
	Really?
	It's been heavily researched.
	Well, our primary suspect's alibi just checked out, so I was thinking we'd head up to Mt. Useful to interview suspects taking part in the sleigh race. Just by racing in the race shows clear motive.
	Can I tag along if you don't mind?
	Do I at least get a Producer credit?
	Nope.
	What about a "special thanks"?!
	Have your people talk to my people.
Task: "Collect Magnifying Glasses" (x150). Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia". Task: "Make Marge Read the Contract". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Dream of Stardom". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Herb Tannenbaum is owned: Task: "Make Herb Tannenbaum Negotiate a "Special Thanks" Credit". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Mary Tannenbaum is owned: Task: "Make Mary Tannenbaum Film B-Roll". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
	I want you guys to listen to my crime podcast called "He Probably Did it but Not Sure Yet" to get a sense of how the show will work.
	Sure! I love crime podcasts!
	Well, I'm doing a little meet-and-greet with other crime podcasters to announce our new show.
	Oooh, I've always wanted to go to a fancy convention. Can I wear a nice dress?
	Of course. See you there.
	This is so exciting, Watson.
	Can't we just drop the Sherlock stuff since we're about to both become crime TV sensations?
	Hey! Someone stole my salad and I wasn't finished with it!
	Quick! Start recording! A theft at a crime podcast convention! This is perfect!
	How did you feel when you first noticed your salad was stolen? And had the salad been dressed?
	I had just added the dressing before it was taken.
	A cold night in December, a missing plate, an empty seat... I'm going to title this podcast "Gone, Bibb-y, Gone" or "Kaleknapped: The Story of the Missing Salad".
	What about "The Golden State Kale-r"?
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Christmas Krusty Burger

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
	Whaddya want, kid? I'm off the clock. Autographs are twenty bucks. And no, I will not draw something on you so you can get it tattooed...unless you pay me sixty bucks.
	I just wanted to ask you about your whereabouts on the night Santa was attacked.
	Whoa, you trying to jam Krusty up on camera? Get that thing outta my face!
	filming We're just making a film about the attack on Santa. pushes in close If you're innocent then you have nothing to worry about.
	Jeez, I was working on my holiday special all night when the fatso got attacked. You happy?
	Prove it!
	Ooh, Marge. I love it. Bring the fire. pans the camera dramatically
Task: "Collect Magnifying Glasses" (x150). Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia". Task: "Make Krusty Call His Lawyer". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Question Krusty". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Mary Tannenbaum is owned: Task: "Make Mary Tannenbaum Get Dramatic Interrogation Footage". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Marge Consider Waterboarding". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Herb Tannenbaum is owned: Task: "Make Herb Tannenbaum Try to Get on Camera". The job takes place at Krusty Burger, Anime Krusty Burger, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
	Alright. Your alibi checks out.
	For now...
	I told you! Also, what'd you think of the rough cut of my special? Should I keep or take out all the insensitive jokes?
	You already know the answer to that.
	I really don't. That was genuine. Anyway, can I go?
	For now...
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Krusty Sleigh + animated job

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
	Lisa? Marge? Strange woman with a camera crew? What are you doing up here at Mt. Useful? Are you coming to cheer me on?!
	We ran out of leads in the Santa case, so thought we'd come question people doing the sleigh race. They all have a motive, as you know.
	And I'm filming it for cable TV. whip pans camera to Bart's reaction
	I'm confused, so are you a producer, TV executive, writer, director, or camera operator?
	We make so many Heartmark movies a year that you end up doing a little of everything.
	Last year I was a teamster building sets and then replaced Debra Messing for the lead role in a movie after "Will and Grace" got rebooted for the third time.
	Well, this is fun! The whole family is here! Me and Bart will be out there snowmobiling if you need us.
	Actually, Dad. Where were you on the night of Santa's attack?
	Wait, waaaaaaaaaaaa??!!
Task: "Collect Magnifying Glasses" (x175). Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia". Task: "Make Lisa Question Her Own Father". The job takes place at Mt. Useful, Mountain Lodge, Sugarloaf Mountain, Homer's Snowmobile Homerlayas, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Mary Tannenbaum is owned: Task: "Make Mary Tannenbaum Get Reaction Shots". The job takes place at Mt. Useful, Mountain Lodge, Sugarloaf Mountain, Homer's Snowmobile Homerlayas, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Marge Interview Other Racers". The job takes place at Mt. Useful, Mountain Lodge, Sugarloaf Mountain, Homer's Snowmobile Homerlayas, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
	Sorry, what was your name again?
	Mary Tannenbaum.
	Right. And you're Herb Tannenbaum?
	Nice to meet ya.
	And you two AREN'T related?
	looking at Herb He's a tree...
	It just doesn't make sense. Same last name — heavily featured in the plot of this update. Are you married to each other?
	Nope!
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Bag a Reindeer Hunting Range

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4
	Ah, I'm here to sign up for the sleigh race.
	Sure, just fill out the sheet here, and make sure to list the details on what sort of sleigh power you'll be using, as we have some strict rules.
	My little chariot runs on police-issued pepper spray.
	Okay, so it's fueled entirely by pepper spray.
	I also have a few prisoners Rudolphing the sleigh in exchange for decreased jail time.
	That seems illegal.
	Well, they committed crimes. So yes, it would be illegal in that sense.
	Chief Wiggum? You're joining the sleigh race? What about the investigation!?
	Oh, that? I solved Santa's whole attack thing already. It was like Murder on the Orient Express — his reindeer teamed up and did it.
	That's the worst investigating of all time.
	chuckles I was just kidding! It wasn't a bunch of reindeer — it was Snake.
	Again with Snake? You can't just place blame on someone because they've committed almost every other crime in the city's history.
	I'm not. I'm placing blame on him because he works at the Bag a Reindeer Hunting Range where the crime took place.
	Wait, what?
	Case...a-closed. I win cop of the year. Now to win this sleigh race!
Task: "Collect Magnifying Glasses" (x175). Task: "Answer Christmas Trivia". Task: "Make Lisa Be Amazed That Wiggum Did Police Work". The job takes place at Mt. Useful, Mountain Lodge, Sugarloaf Mountain, Homer's Snowmobile Homerlayas, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Wiggum Fail to Provide Any More Evidence". The job takes place at Mt. Useful, Mountain Lodge, Sugarloaf Mountain, Homer's Snowmobile Homerlayas, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Marge Be Certain Snake is the Culprit". The job takes place at Mt. Useful, Mountain Lodge, Sugarloaf Mountain, Homer's Snowmobile Homerlayas, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
	Snake...Jailbird.
	Marge...Simpson.
	Homer...Simpson.
	Homer? What are you doing here?
	I saw you run off all of a sudden toward Santa's Village. I was just wondering what's going on, thought I'd follow. Crap, I forgot Bart at Mt. Useful. Gotta go! runs off
	Now, where were we?
	Saying each other's names, slowly, apparently.
	So you work here at Bag a Reindeer Hunting Range. Did you work the night of the attack on Santa?
	I did. Bagged more that night than ever before. But I was already off when the attack happened.
	I headed from work to Moe's at 9:37pm for a beer. Then stopped at Kwik-E-Mart for a quick robbing at 10:20pm. Then home and into bed promptly at 10:45pm to watch my baking show.
	That's a very specific timeline. Almost as if...you'd practiced it.
	Or...I've been through this many times before and I've learned to cover my own butt any time someone gets clubbed in the back of the head.
	Well now. Isn't that interesting. I don't believe the reports ever released the information that Santa was hit in the back of the head.
	They did, actually. But good try. It would've been really cool if that had been true though.
	Yeah, Mom. They did actually say that.
	Alright, well we're still gonna check your alibi!
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Snake's House Bundle and 1

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task	Character(s)	Time	Location(s)	Reward
Steal Magnifiers From School Science Lab	Lisa, Marge, Homer, Bart, Wiggum, Krusty, Snake, Sideshow Bob	4h	5, 45
Borrow Magnifiers From Prop Department	Mary Tannenbaum, Park Ranger	The Heartmark Channel, Springfield Community Theater, Old Theatre District, Open Air Stage, Chinese Acrobatic Theater, Simpson House	8, 70

Behind the Laughter[edit]

The quest name is a reference to the song "There's No Business Like Show Business" by Irving Berlin from the musical Annie Get Your Gun.

view • talk • edit • past The Simpsons: Tapped Out Holiday Whodunnit quests

No Crime Like the Present • Out Cold • No Business Like Snow Business • Ho-ho-d'oh • Sleighing It • Winner, Winner Cookie Dinner
Herb Tannenbaum	Christmas Spirit
Park Ranger	Raccoonpocalypse
Elf Moe	Ears to You, Moe
Santa Sideshow Bob	To Murder or Not to Murder
Santa Snake	Jingle Bell Knock
Mary Tannenbaum	When Mary Met Flandy
Gnome-in-the-Home	Attack of the Gnomes
Nutcracker	Nuts to That