Difference between revisions of "'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas"

Latest revision as of 11:35, January 16, 2025

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas

Tapped Out Quest Information

Level:	5
Update:	A Simpsons Christmas Special
Required characters:	Lisa, Milhouse, Homer, Angel Lisa, Ralph
Optional characters:	Skinner, See Currency-earning tasks
Previous quest(s):	Christmas is Canceled Pt. 1
Next quest(s):	Christmas is Canceled Pt. 2

'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the A Simpsons Christmas Special content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Intro[edit]

After completing Christmas is Canceled Pt. 1

	This afternoon we will hold auditions for our annual Christmas Pageant! See you there, budding thespians!
	As participation is mandatory for all students, we will see you bullies, jocks, and burnouts there, too.
	Excuse me, Principal Skinner, but-
	You object to the word "Christmas" because of its exclusionary religious connotations? Very well. We'll call it the "Holiday Pageant".
	Great. But--
	The word "Pageant" evokes beauty pageants, which are sexist and outdated? Fine. Then we'll call it the "Holiday Thing".
	You fold pretty quick in the face of controversy, huh?
	It's my main qualification for this job.
Task: "Make Lisa Audition for the Holiday Thing". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Milhouse Audition for the Holiday Thing". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Ralph is owned: Task: "Make Ralph Audition for the Holiday Thing". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.

	The cast list will be posted later today. Your part will be assigned according to the degree of stink your parents will raise if you have few lines.
	Hello, sir. I am the handyman you hired to build your outdoor stage. My name is Roger.
	Roger? I want a cool name!
	Like I said, my name is Jackhammer Machinegun.
	What a very cool name. So have you finished building the stage?
	No. Instead of doing my actual job, I became a snow plow driver, or an astronaut, or something. Happens all the time.
	Plus I lost the money you gave me for supplies.
	Mr. Machinegun, how could you! The Holiday Thing is ruined!
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 1[edit]

After completing the Intro

	Children, the play is canceled. We have no stage. And if I'm being honest, we never really found our Petey the Reluctant Elf, either.
	I'm doing the best I can. Petey is a complex character!
	We can't give up! If we need more money to finish the stage, there must be a way to get it!
	Maybe we could hold a fundraiser. A winter carnival!
	Good thinking, Lisa! You truly are the hero of this story that you made up yourself.
	Now go fold some programs while I ponder Lisa's amazing idea!
If Skinner is owned: Task: "Make Skinner Brainstorm Moneymaking Schemes". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Use a Saw Like a Hammer". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Collect Programs" (x100).

	Lisa, your upbeat problem-solving has truly saved the day. Hooray for Lisa!

	Oh, come on. Is this whole story nothing more than a love letter to yourself?
	It's my story, I'll tell it how I want.
	Sweetie, your brother's right. For a story to be interesting, the hero needs to experience setbacks.
	agreeing sucking noises
	Well, I LIKE stories where I'm doing amazing things and everyone says how great I am.
	...
	Fine. One setback, coming up.
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart x3

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1

	I've found the perfect centerpiece for our winter carnival fundraiser -- a roasted chestnuts cart!
	Oh, how the children will line up for the earthy, mild flavor of warm chestnuts!
	Uh, kids today don't really think of chestnuts as "yummy". Or even as "food".
	Nonsense! Chewy, nondescript chestnuts are the ultimate holiday treat!
	We could coat them in sugar, I guess. And serve them on a bed of sugar, with sugar sauce on the side...
	Fine. Yes. Do that. And ruin my delightfully bland chestnuts.
Task: "Place Hot Roasted Chestnuts Carts" (x3). Task: "Make Children Sell Chestnuts" (x3). The jobs take place at a Hot Roasted Chestnuts Cart and take 4 hours. Task: "Collect Programs" (x300).

	In a development no one could have possibly predicted, today's children have zero interest in hot chestnuts.
	...
	It's time to give the kids the Christmas treats they crave -- figgy pudding and steaming bowls of wassail.
	Sir, that's a horrible idea.
	I've spent the last thirty Christmases alone with my elderly mother. I THINK I know what kids want!
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Christmas Carousel and Free Land Token

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2

	Ralph, have you been working on your line for the play?
	I like pretending where I'm a Dracula driving a bulldozer.
	Me too, Ralph. Me too. But in THIS play, you're playing a mouse, right? And when you come on stage, your line is...?
	"Hello! I have pointy teeth and a cape and have you seen my bulldozer?"
	Focus, Ralph! It's a very important line. You explain the true meaning of Christm-- I mean, the Holidays -- to everyone. Try again...
	"A robber who doesn't like Draculas stole my bulldozer and now I'm sad."
	Okay, everybody. Take five. I need to think. Let's all... ride the carousel... or something.
Task: "Make Lisa Ride the Carousel". The job takes place at the Christmas Carousel and takes 8 hours. If Ralph is owned: Task: "Make Ralph Ride the Carousel". The job takes place at the Christmas Carousel and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel". The job takes place at the Christmas Carousel and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Homer Ride the Carousel". The job takes place at the Christmas Carousel and takes 8 hours. Task: "Collect Programs" (x300).

	This whole play is riding on Ralph! If he doesn't explain the true meaning of the Holidays, it's ruined!
	I'm confused. What exactly IS the meaning of the Holidays?
	I mean, I get what Christmas is about. But "the Holidays" just seems kind of... nonspecific.
	I've never been entirely clear on that, myself. Something about brotherhood and good will?
	No, that's Christmas.
	It can be the meaning of non-denominational, inoffensive pseudo-celebrations as well!
	You know, we could just cancel the--
	We're not canceling the Holiday Thing! The holidays aren't the same without the Thing!
	Let's just do another dress rehearsal. I'm sure all our problems will be solved through some inexplicable, non-denominational holiday miracle.
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Angel Lisa

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3

	Behold! An angel has appeared to tell us all the meaning of the Holidays!
	Lo! I bring tidings unto thee! But to clarify, I'm not comfortable with the word "angel". Think of me as a non-religious "spirit".
	So... you're a g-g-g-g-ghost?!
	I'm a Dracula!
	Forget it. Call me an angel if it's so important to you. Just shut up and harken to my stupid message of hope.
Task: "Make Angel Lisa Give Proclamations on High". The job takes 4 hours. Task: "Collect Programs" (x300).

	Hear me, Springfield! We celebrate the Holidays because on this day a child was born.
	A child who, depending on your belief system, was either the son of God, or a prophet, or just a really nice guy.
	And either to celebrate his birth, or because it's Hanukkah, or maybe the Winter Solstice is important to you, we should all be nice to one another right now.
	That's it! The angel has saved the play! She's a hero!
	She sure is! What a gal, reminds me of that amazing sister of mine!

	Whoa, whoa! Hold on a minute. In what universe would I ever say anything nice about you?
	Yeah, I'm not buying it, Lis.
	It's my story! Let me tell it how I want.
	Lisa, you can't just change an established character's personality whenever you want. It's sloppy writing.
	The point of the story is, a holiday miracle saved the play.
	Phew. I am so relieved. I was really worried the boring children's play would have to be cancelled.
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Fair Booth x4 and Free Land Token

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4

	Lisa, the play's message has been saved, and it's sure to be a colossal smash. But we still don't have a stage.
	I'm working on it!
	Are you?
	No. But I AM swinging this hammer, which sure makes it LOOK like I'm working. To me, at least.
	Lisa, we need more money, which necessitates a large Christmas Market, which you are now in charge of setting up.

	Hah! That'll teach that do-gooder to do good!
	So Little Miss Perfect gets her comeuppance. I take back what I said, Lisa. This is a great story!

	I know it's a lot to ask, but you ARE, strangely, the only character in this tale with any intelligence. So...
	sigh Okay fine, I'll see what I can do.
Task: "Place Fair Booths" (x4). Task: "Make Lisa Setup Fair Booths". The job takes place at a Fair Booth and takes 8 hours. If any Ralph and Milhouse are owned: Task: "Make Ralph Ride the Carousel". The job takes place at the Christmas Carousel and takes 8 hours. If any Ralph and Milhouse are owned: Task: "Make Milhouse Ride the Carousel". The job takes place at the Christmas Carousel and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Homer Ride the Carousel". The job takes place at the Christmas Carousel and takes 8 hours. Task: "Collect Programs" (x300).

	Good news, I got the stage all fixed. I'll just be taking my last paycheck.
	He's lying! The stage has been fine all along, he's just been spending all our money on eggnog!
	burp I have no idea what he's buuuurp talking buuuuuuuurp about.
	The curtain goes up in five minutes, children. I hope you all remember your lines?
	Hello! I am not a Dracula, and I don't have a bulldozer!
	Better, Ralph. Still terrible, but better.
Quest reward: 100 and 10 Pageant Stage and Free Land Token

Pt. 6[edit]

After completing Pt. 5

	Now Lisa, when we do our kiss scene, make sure you don't get TOO caught up in it, okay?
	Because I have a feeling I'm a really good kisser. That's what Puppy Goo Goo says.
	WHAT kiss scene? I'm playing a ballerina, and you're a soldier.
	Love can blossom in the strangest places, huh?
	If you try to kiss me, I'll push you off the stage.
	How did you know that was one of my recurring nightmares?!
Task: "Make Children Act in an Ensemble". The job takes place at the Pageant Stage and takes 12 hours.

	I declare Lisa's Holiday Thing the finest theatrical event ever!
	Thank you all for your three-hour-long standing ovation. We owe everything to Lisa Simpson! Let's hear it for her!

	Boo! Boooooo!
	Bart, be nice. The story's almost over. It IS almost over, isn't it, Lisa?
	No. Next, the play goes to Broadway, sweeps the Tonys and goes on tour.
	...
	...but I guess we can safely skip that part.
Quest reward: 200 and 20

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task	Character(s)	Time	Location(s)	Reward
Blow His Nose Into Programs	Homer	4h	Springfield Elementary or a Brown House	6, 45
Neatly Fold Programs	Lisa
Roll His Eyes at Programs	Bart
Hang Programs on the Fridge	Marge
Struggle to Read Programs	Grampa
Draw Picture on Programs	Maggie
Hang Programs in Store Window	Apu
Pass Out Programs at Church	Ned
Rake Programs Into a Pile	Willie
Ration Paper for Programs	Skinner
Try to Turn Programs Into News	Brockman
Gush Over Adorableness of Programs	Kathy from Personnel	9, 70
Make Programs Appear From Thin Air	Circus Acrobat

Behind the Laughter[edit]

The quest name is a reference to the short story "A Visit from St. Nicholas", which is commonly called "'Twas the Night Before Christmas".

view • talk • edit • past The Simpsons: Tapped Out A Simpsons Christmas Special quests

Christmas is Canceled • 'Twas the Pageant Before Christmas • A Savage Thaw • Paramours of Christmas Past • Christmas Doesn't Suck Suck • Show Me the Dough
Angel Lisa	Angelic Fury
Kathy from Personnel	Knit Fits
Circus Acrobat	Big Top Je Ne Sais Quoi
Deep Freeze	Chillin Like a Snowman
Don Brodka	Anchors Away
Young Barney	Non-Alcoholic Whine
The Ghost of Christmas Past	Regrets, That's All I've Got
Young Grampa Simpson	Stranding at Attention
Young Artie Ziff	Ziff it to the Limit
Mrs. Claus	The Party Claus
Lee Carvallo	A Hole in None
Jim Hope	Learning to Share
Young Marge	Roller Girl Riot
Buildings	Bethlehem Inn • Boat House • Circus of Values • Igloo Mansion • The Screens • The Timberlog Diner • Toys "B" This
Decorations	Christmas Fair Booth • Christmas Pageant Stage • Festive Carolers • Personalized Talking Astrolabe • Pile of Presents