Treehouse of Horror XXXVI/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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793
"Treehouse of Horror XXXVI"
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- Squeaky-Voiced Teen: I don't understand it. Whoever broke in here only took the grease we fry the doughnuts in.
- Chief Wiggum: Lard have mercy.
- Mayor Quimby: We are devastated by the tragic loss of the irreplaceable Chief Wiggum. We're replacing him with Lou.
- Moe Szyslak: I've spent my life in them pipes, panning for subway tokens and loose fillings. And over the years, youse people have turned my beautiful sewer into a cesspool. You pour your cooking grease and your animal fat down the drain. And over time, all that gloppy gunk stuck together and coagulated into what the legends call a Fatberg. Now, I'm just a simple turd-monger, but there's only one explanation-- that Fatberg got so big that it's got to feed, and it's on the hunt for more grease. And it's going to eat this whole lard-loving city if youse don't do something.
- Mayor Quimby: Cancel the state fair?
- Moe: You got no cherce. The state fair is greasier than Lardi Gras and Crisco-mas combined.
- Lou: This is madness. If this walking port-a-potty is right and there is a monster down there, we can't risk our citizens' safety. I'm canceling the state fair under my authority as chief of police.
- Mayor Quimby: Congratulations, Police Chief Eddie. I hereby declare the state fair open with the lighting of the first fryer.
- Lou: These fools, filling themselves with fried grease while there's a monster lurking underground. Don't they know they're tempting fat?
- Lou: The Fatberg had a heart attack. But how? It didn't have a heart.
- Moe: Not even a creature of pure fat could handle what Homer Simpson was made of.
- Krusty the Clown: Hey, hey, kids! This is my first ever live Halloween special! But not because I'm desperate. Comedy audiences can't sense desperation, can they? Can they? Can they?!
- Martin Prince: We can.
- Bart: A parody of The Exorcist? [laughs] Now that's fresh!
- Devil: [through Mr. Teeny] I am Satan, and I have come for you.
- Sideshow Mel: Oh, the chimp's allowed to improv, but I'm not? I was in the Groundlings Sunday Company for seven years!
- Hal Julian: Fantastic segment!
- Krusty: A man was just maimed for life by a demonic monkey!
- Krusty: Who are you dressed up as, slugger?
- Milhouse Van Houten: Why did the monkey rip the man's face off?
- Janey Powell: Will the face go to heaven?
- Bart: [imitating Urkel] Did I do that?
- Devil: You know you did do that!
- Lisa: I told Mom and Dad you were in league with Satan, but they didn't believe me!
- Devil: Nobody likes a tattler.
- Krusty: I've never shown anyone this horrific tape... until today. But now that streaming has crushed the TV business, even the Devil can't save my show.
- Devil: It is rough out there. I would hate to be starting today.
- Narrator: Amidst the post-aplasti-lyptic savagery, one visionary leader dreams of a sustainable future for humanity.
- Lisa: Friends, ever since I lost my family in the avalanche of Diaper Genie Bag Mountain, I've found solace in the Good Book. The book teaches us that humans once grew real, organic food in a strange, dirty substance known as dirt. I truly believe that somewhere, underneath all the plastic, there is dirt. And that is why we dig.
- Lisa: [gasps] Seeds! Sunflower seeds. We can plant sunflowers. Corn nuts. We can grow corn. And Funyuns, which must be a... fun type of onion.
- Lisa: Mom! Dad! How are you alive?
- Homer: [chuckles] Funny story. We fell into a pool of searing hot nuclear waste. The molten radioactive plastic bonded with our DNA, months and months of horrible, indescribable agony, and, uh, here we are.
- Marge: We're better than ever.
- Marge: There's food everywhere when you're a Plazz.
- Lisa: "Plazz"? That sounds a little problematic.
- Homer: We can call ourselves that, but you can't.
- Lisa: Oh, my God. Mom and Dad were plastic, but somehow they created new life. An innocent baby.
- Bart: That should be easy to kill.
