Parahormonal Activity/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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801
"Parahormonal Activity"
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- Marge: Maybe 43 is the year I change my hairstyle. No, I don't have that kind of courage.
- Homer: Breakfast me now. I want to escape before the hormone twins come down.
- Marge: Bart and Lisa are teenagers now, and they've got a lot of confusing feelings.
- Homer: Feelings I can handle. It's the sounds and the smells that are breaking me.
- Bart: I'm driving to school today.
- Maggie: Mmm?
- Bart: How am I gonna learn not to kill people if you don't let me practice?
- Maggie: [whimpers]
- Marge: Maggie, Maggie, rest your voice. You're still getting over that laryngitis.
- Maggie: Please. Don't let Bart drive. It's too scary. He drives so wiggly and everybody honks at us and yells bad words and shows us fingers!
- Marge: Oh. It'll be nice to spend time with people whose hormones aren't completely wackadoodle.
- Luann Van Houten: Wackadoodle. My hormones are wackadoodle.
- Bernice Hibbert: As our last eggs circle the drain, let's raise a glass to the big change.
- Luann: You know, I wake up at exactly 3:17 every night. Why 3:17?
- Bernice: [chuckles] I know. And then I can't help but compulsively rearrange the furniture. You know, last night, I created a workstation for the dog.
- Marge: Heroin. I've heard it's amazing, but I'm not sure it's for me.
- Homer: [gasps] "Hamnesia" is when you can't remember ham!
- Marge: Is it normal for a boy to look at bunnies with big boobs?
- Homer: Little boys will stare at a rock if it's got big boobs. Ooh. Look, a rock with big boobs.
- Bart: I'm driving to school today.
- Lisa: Got another zit. I'm going to live under a troll bridge.
- Maggie: I'm a flower girl, and I want special shoes. Pink with bows and lights and music.
- Artie Ziff: These Skoochers are a revelation. Skooch on, skooch off. Skooch on, skooch off. Marge Simpson? My old crush/obsession/problematic fixation.
- Marge: [groans] Artie, now is not the time to hit on me.
- Artie Ziff: Hmm. Not a problem. For the first time in my life, the sight of your face has left me un-smitten. Do I see the flawless young girl whose dental hygienist I bribed for a Dixie cup of her saliva? I do not!
- Marge: Oh. I guess that's a good thing.
- Artie Ziff: I feel nothing, I tell you. Maybe it's these super cushiony shoes, or maybe it's the teeny-tiny frown line I detect between your eyes. But I feel liberated. Skip with me, salesgirl, skip with me. Whee! Whee!
- Marge: Don't you take that tone with me, young lady!
- Lisa: What tone did you take when you found out your mother was a raging hypocrite?
- Marge: Just because I said one thing and did the opposite, that makes me a hypocrite?
- Marge: Our son is ruined. Childhood over. Innocence gone. He's going to grow up to be an incel or a sexist jerk or a manosphere guru.
- Homer: Next time I'll get you a smart stove... then a smart blender... to make smart smoothies... out of intelligent bananas.
- Marge: You got your first period, and you didn't tell me. Why?
- Lisa: Because you make womanhood seem like the most miserable thing that could happen to a person. But don't worry about it. Coach Krupt was very helpful.
- Coach Krupt: Bombardment of feelings. Bombardment of transitions. Bombardment of we're all here for you.
- Homer: Anyway, I was about to roast this... this beautiful, wonderful man.
- Everyone: Aw.
- Homer: He's such a good neighborino. [crying] He lets me borrow stuff, and he loves Jesus so much. And despite all that, he's my favorite person in the entire world.
- Bart: Hi, I'm Bart. I drove here in a car that I drove.
- Carrie: I'm Carrie. The bride is my sister. We took a limo.
- Bart: Wow. You were in a car. I'm in a car...
- Lisa: Uh. Mr. Flanders asked me to perform the song "Perfect" by Ed Sheeran.
- [crowd makes agreeable noises]
- Lenny Leonard: I love that song.
- Lisa: But I'm not gonna do that one.
- Lenny: Crap!
