Thrifty Ways to Thieve Your Mother/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"Thrifty Ways to Thieve Your Mother"
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- Marge: I can't remember the last movie we saw in theaters. And on opening night!
- Homer: Movies are back, baby!
- Bart: Just think of all the chumps out there waiting three days until this movie's free on streaming.
- Janet Grody: I'm Dr. Janet Grody, creator of Snüf Total-Body Deodorant. It's for all your grossest places. Just rub it right on your butt cleft, under pouch, stink flaps...
- Marge: Ah! How could they say those words on TV?
- Janet Grody: ...peat bog, smuckle, stunk-tank.
- [Homer, Bart, and Lisa are all laughing]
- Marge: Come on. Skip ad. Skip ad.
- Janet Grody: Between-hatch, gunk chunnel, boob swamp, elbow crotch.
- Homer: Elbow crotch. I have one of those.
- Marge: Keagan's Pond. Oh, I used to love this show. It's about four teenagers played by 20-year-olds with the problems of 40-year-olds.
- Homer: Oh, that show stinks. It stinks like stink flaps.
- Homer: "Manliest shows for manly men." Hmm. "Clincher. Ex-ranger, ex-CIA, ex-Navy Seal, John Clinch doles out his own brand of justice with his fist." Buddy, you had me at fist!
- Homer: And then... And then, Clincher was like, "Peace be with you, Father." But he meant "piece" like a gun. Then he punched the priest with the gun!
- Marge: Oh. Wow. Time for work, dear. The Clinker will be here when you get home.
- Homer: It's not Clinker, Marge, it's Clincher. [to Bart] Thank God she's good-looking, right?
- Marge: How cute was Lisa in her '90s look, Maggie? Pretty fly, I thought. It's so funny how things come back in style. Like the word fly! And she was worried about what the other kids would think. They'll think she's cute as a button, right? Right? Why, I bet wearing your mom's clothes is as cool today as it was when I was a girl. [gasps] What have I done?
- Vidalia: Hmm. Retro vibes but still of the moment.
- Devin: It tells a story. And that story is "look at my outfit."
- Vidalia: It works!
- Lisa: And then at lunch, when I went up to return my tray, everyone clapped. Ha!
- Devin: I'm Devin. Spelled like heaven, but with a D and no A and an I for the second E. Of course you know Vidalia.
- Lisa: No, we've never met.
- Vidalia: Welcome to Fashion Club.
- Lisa: You guys meet in the music room?
- Devin: We took it over when Mr. Largo died.
- Lisa: Mr. Largo died?!
- Devin: Or he has jury duty. It was something dumb.
- Lisa: Terri, I didn't know you were in Fashion Club. Where's Sherri?
- Terri Mackleberry: Please. Have you ever seen Sherri slay? Or so much as serve? [to Terri] Keep walking, Kmart!
- Vidalia: This is how the world of thrifting works. Some used-up 40-year-old donates a box full of clothes from when she mattered. Then someone cool, but scary, slaps a huge price tag on it.
- Marge: I can't believe it. Lisa stood me up.
- Shawn Garrett Evanson: Sounds like your afternoon is free. Ever done it in a men's shelter?
- Marge: Now make like a banana and peel.
- Devin: I get it in context, I guess.
- Vidalia: Lisa. Hey, girlie. Wanna hang?
- Lisa: You still wanna hang? Even after my mom totally mommed out on us?
- Vidalia: [chuckles] Please. We don't ditch people just for having crazy mothers.
- Devin: My mom once set fire to a piano store because she was trying to get a news anchor's attention. Ugh, mission accomplished.
- Vidalia: Terri's been in the bathroom for a while. I'm gonna go check on her.
- Ralph Wiggum: If you see Ralph in the mirror, say hi.
- Lisa: Okay, okay, we're thieves. I'm a thief. I'm in a gang of thieves. I'm gonna go to jail, and they'll give me a tattoo and I won't even get to pick it.
- Devin: Ugh. Thank God my mom's in jail for piano arson.
- Marge: It's not gonna kill you to slow dance with your mother in front of your friends.
- Bart: We don't know that for sure.
- Marge: This dance is so lovely. Whose idea was it?
- Principal Skinner: Well, Mother and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch and our couples' counselor suggested it.
- Agnes Skinner: Seymour. I didn't wear my fancy orthopedics for you to chitchat.
- Devin: Oh, my God. These sick freaks don't have a TV.
