Keep Chalm and Gary On/Quotes
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< Keep Chalm and Gary On
Revision as of 17:49, October 6, 2025 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{TabQ|nogags}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Thrifty Ways to Thieve Your Mother|Treehouse of Horror XXXVI}} {{qf|Bart}} Your words mean nothing and your face is a butt. {{qf|Li...")
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- Bart: Your words mean nothing and your face is a butt.
- Lisa: Do, too, and... [blows a raspberry]
- [both Bart and Lisa blow raspberries at each other]
- Lisa: Dad, can you please explain to Bart why using A.I. to do his homework is wrong?
- Homer: Yeah, sure. Uh... Relying on artificial intelligence to complete assignments could undermine the development of critical analytical skills.
- Lisa: What? You just prompted CheatGPT to write that speech for you.
- Homer: [moans] Give me back my phone brain so me father better parent good.
- Bart: They banana us, we'll banana them.
- Principal Skinner: [exclaims then sighs] We banana-ed them, they banana-ed us.
- Superintendent Chalmers: And why do I smell bananas?
- Principal Skinner: Uh... because I'm happy to see you.
- Superintendent Chalmers: Y-- [groans]
- Milhouse Van Houten: This is just like Animal Farm, and we're the bananas.
- State Comptroller Atkins: Ironically, the A.I. software you authorized to catch the kids cheating, it caught you.
- Superintendent Chalmers: But I would never cheat.
- State Comptroller Atkins: You neglected to put quotation marks around two different cited passages. And it's like the difference between "ibid" and "op cit" means absolutely nothing to you.
- Shauna Chalmers: [over the phone to Jimbo] So, I guess my dad stole some words or something. Anyway, he was arrested.
- Gary Chalmers: I-I wasn't arrested, I was fired. Always told the students that, when they look in the mirror, they should be proud of the person looking back at them. Ugh. Now that I'm no longer superintendent, I don't know who I see anymore. [sighs]
- Shauna: [over the phone] Yeah, I think he got arrested.
- Gary Chalmers: [mocking] Chalm-ers. I mean, who talks like that? If I had underlings, I'd treat them with--
- Waylon Smithers: Sir, for the Christmas card this year, would you like the hounds' pajamas to match yours or just tastefully complement them?
- Mr. Burns: Hmm... Can we prepare both and decide on the day?
- Smithers: Oh, absolutely.
- Ben: Welcome to Men-trepreneurs, the podcast that finally celebrates companies run by and for men.
- Dirk Denchley: Gary, your website has the hardest-to-find "cancel subscription" button in the business. Brilliant, bro.
- Gary Chalmers: Oh? Well, that wasn't intentional.
- Antoine: Come on, dude. Our whole business model is people signing up for subscriptions that they forgot to cancel.
- Gary Chalmers: It's also weird having a juice bar in your living room, but, uh... great idea, honey. Great.
- Shauna: I was kidding, but whatever.
- Shauna: Can I have a new pony? This one pooped.
- Gary Chalmers: Uh, of course, sweetie.
- Gary Chalmers: You know, I spent so much of my life in public education, but I never felt I was doing good in the world until I started selling creams for men. Plus, even as a janitor I made more money than as a superintendent.
- Principal Skinner: Are you saying there's an open janitor position?
- Principal Skinner: Sir, sir, I'm on the hiring web page. It wants me to attach my résumé as a PDF, but I only have it as a JPEG.
