Dogtown/Quotes
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- Blue-haired lawyer: Your Honor, my client had just turned his life around. His daughter recently bought a washing machine and promised him the box to live in.
- Bart: Do you think they'll send Dad away forever?
- Marge: Oh, no, sweetie. They just want all our money.
- Kent Brockman: It's now official: a Springfield jury has decided that the life of this greyhound is more valuable than the life of this Greyhound station inhabitant.
- Bart: [Sad] Santa's Little Helper didn't come home last night.
- Homer: If you were a dog these days, would you come home? It's like doggy heaven out there, only real.
- Bart: Doggy heaven isn't real?
- Homer: No! No, it's real! The dogs all have harps and wings.
- Bart: How do they play harps if they don't have fingers?
- Homer: Um... dogs have fingers in heaven.
- Bart: How do you know so much about dog heaven?
- Homer: [as an excuse] I died for five minutes and was sent there by mistake. Now leave me alone.
- Marge: Gil? Why are you helping these people who think so little of you?
- Gil Gunderson: That's why I'm doin' it! To show everyone I'm not the town failure.
- Barney Gumble: I thought I was the town failure!
- Moe Szyslak: You're not even that!
- Barney: Aw!
- Gil: This is ridiculous. I'm a human being here, not some dumb animal!
- Sideshow Mel: Who are you calling dumb? The dogs who sniff for bombs at the airport? The St. Bernards who save lives on the slopes of St. Moritz? Or this one?
