Co-Dependent's Day/Quotes

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Lisa: Dad, I still have a couple of questions about this. Mom never drives drunk, and the crash was in your car. Also the driver's seat was adjusted for your stomach.
Homer: Lisa, Lisa your suspicions are important to me and will be answered in the order received.

Homer: I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself! I'm drunk!

Otto: I didn't know British coal miners had it so bad! There's blood on your hands, Mrs. Thatcher!

Homer: When I feel weak I'll draw strength from the Bible. (opens the bible and starts drinking; his stomach rumbles) Uh-oh, here comes the Gospel according to puke!

Marge: Oh no, I'm gonna be incarcer--(hiccups), incarcer--(hiccups), I'm going to jail.

(While Homer is on the phone with the rehab clinic)
Homer: I can't talk to my wife for 28 days. Sir, she is not an alcoholic. You can't put me on hold, I'll put you on hold. (singing) I am a lineman for the county. (speaking) Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold. (singing) And I drive the main road. (speaking) There are…eight calls ahead of you. (singing) And the Wichita lineman is still on the li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-line.

Homer: (about his book-box Bible that holds liquor) No wonder they call it the Good Book.
Season 15 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XIV • My Mother the Carjacker • The President Wore Pearls • The Regina Monologues • The Fat and the Furriest • Today I Am a Clown • 'Tis the Fifteenth Season • Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays • I, (Annoyed Grunt)-bot • Diatribe of a Mad Housewife • Margical History Tour • Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore • Smart and Smarter • The Ziff Who Came to Dinner • Co-Dependent's Day • The Wandering Juvie • My Big Fat Geek Wedding • Catch 'Em If You Can • Simple Simpson • The Way We Weren't • Bart-Mangled Banner • Fraudcast News