The Long Way Homer

The Long Way Homer

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Tavern Trouble Required characters: Homer Optional characters: See Pt. 1, Wiggum, Eddie, Lou, Moe, Barney, See Currency-earning jobs Internal name(s): TheLongWayHomer ID(s): 246001 - 246005 Previous quest(s): Men of Brew Words Next quest(s): Homeward Bored

The Long Way Homer is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Tavern Trouble content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After completing Men of Brew Words Lousy Moe-supporting jerks! Look at me, I'm Lenny and I just love that apron-wearing drink thief! Luckily there's a million good bars in Springfield I can go to. *walking past bars* "Coyote Rugby", "The Golden Wicket", "O'Darts", "Cancun Monsoon", "Señor Booze", "The Tsarina's Ice Palace", "Casanova Scotia"... *groans* These all sound too European, too spring break, or too cold inside. Ooh, "The Bendy Elbow". I get it! Because your elbow bends when you drink! Finally, a bar that makes sense! Hey, I remember you, you're Ned's neighborino. Welcome to The Bendy Elbow! Usually I'd hate hearing the sound "ino" after a word, but I'm just so happy to feel welcomed. Bend your elbow back, take a drink, and tell us what's goin' on with you, man. *chugs beer* Well, if you insist... Task: "Collect Bottle Caps" (x155). Task: "Make Homer Go On and On About Moe". The job takes place at Jazzy Goodtime's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, an Eatery, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Everyone Get Sick of Homer" (x3). The jobs take place at Jazzy Goodtime's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, an Eatery, or a Brown House and take 4 hours. ...so that's when I told Moe, "goodbye forever!" *burps* Wait, so we're just your rebound bar? Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean— *shaking head* Not cool, man. Not cool. You should leave now, rebounderino! But the internet's so fast here and I'm pretty sure you charge less than 75 cents to use the toilet... I said, get out! Quest reward: 100 and 10 The Bendy Elbow

Characters that can do the "Get Sick of Homer" job include:

Capri Flanders, Chester Dupree, CJ Pro Bidder, June Bellamy, Esme Delacroix, Dave Shutton, Skinner, Quimby, Freddy Quimby, Sanjay, Mrs. Krabappel, Helen Lovejoy, Luigi, Agnes

Pt. 2

After completing Pt. 1 Stupid Flanderses! Mean to me just because I suck to be around! Hopefully, this bar will be good... Hey Homer, come on in! "Five O'Clock Somewhere's" is the best spot in town! Ooh, is this a cop bar? Unofficially. We mostly come here for the chicken tenders. They're fried to perfection. Tendered chicken... Also, the beer list is huge. Yeah, they've got Duff, Duff Lite, Duff Platinum, Duff Gold, Raspberry Duff, Duff IPA, Duff Zero, Duff Genuine Duff, Duff Lime... Ooh, so many choices. I'll take one Duff, please. And I'll take a brandy, room temperature. Actually, make it yoga studio temperature. Freelance detectives are allowed in a cop bar? I thought you guys hated each other? Manacek? We love Manacek! Yeah, he's always spouting off weird Polish proverbs and solving our impossible-to-solve cold cases. An old dog always smells distant trouble, but don't expect it to bite the nose of the thief. I like you, Manacek. Less talk, more drink! *chugs beer* *chugs beer* *sips brandy* Task: "Collect Bottle Caps" (x155). Task: "Make Homer Drink Ten Duffs". The job takes place at Knockers, Beer -N- Brawl, Jazzy Goodtime's, CBGB, an Eatery, or a Brown House and takes 2 hours. If Wiggum, Eddie, or Lou are owned: Task: "Make Cops Cut Homer Off" (x3). The job takes place at Knockers, Beer -N- Brawl, Jazzy Goodtime's, CBGB, an Eatery, or a Brown House and takes 2 hours. I think you should call it a night, Homer. You've had a few too many. I'm fine, I'm fine. Look Homer, even a divorced mouse on a cheese farm can't afford his legal fees. What's with this place? I said I'm fine — and usually when I say that, the bartender just gets me another beer. Come on, drunky. Let's go. What are you going to do? Shoot me? Because you can't! You lost your gun years ago! Is that true, Chief? I really looked everywhere for it. *pointing* That thing in his holster is really just a label maker! I know, 'cause Marge has the same one. Well, for that I'm labeling you "NIGHT IN THE DRUNK TANK". Ha! That's too many letters! Oh, I've got letters. *shrieks* Run! Did he just yell "run" to himself? I believe he did, Lou. I believe he did. Now, should we order more chicken tenders? Good idea, Chief. Ooh, order some for me too. *into radio* Dispatch, 223: Tenders last seen heading south. Three more baskets needed. Also, some ranch reinforcements would be great. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Five O'Clock Somewhere's

Pt. 3

After completing Pt. 2 I'm drunk, which means I need to find a nice comfortable bar to get me more drunk! Ooh, this place has food too! Welcome to Ramen Coma. What can I get you? I'll take a mega ramen bowl with extra chashu — oh, and two beers. Hey, you look familiar. Have you ever been to a gross, sticky tavern with a mean bartender who's always kicking people out with a shotgun? Yeah, I've been there once or twice. I used to work there when it was called Flaming Moe's! Oh yeah, I remember you! Moe hired you when he needed extra help! I'm Homer! Homer, that's right! I'm Colette. So what brings you out here tonight? Well, I used to be a regular at Moe's, but now I hate him because not only did he steal my Flaming Homer drink, but now he's making it seem like he was the one who invented it. So you told him you were never going back to his stupid tavern again. Wait, how'd you know I said that? *shrugs* It just seemed like that's where your story was headed. Anyway, Moe probably doesn't even care that I'm never going back to his stupid tavern again. You might be surprised, Homer. Slurp some ramen and listen to a bit of advice from someone who was there when it all happened... Task: "Collect Bottle Caps" (x115). Task: "Make Homer Put on a Parka Before Slurping More Ramen". The job takes place at Madame Chao's, Chinese Restaurant, Magic Palace, Crouching Panda, Hidden Eggroll, Bob's Big Buddha, Nighthawk Diner, Skip's Diner, an Eatery, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. ...and if you follow that advice, I think you'll be a happier person who attracts and keeps the kind of friends you truly deserve. I'm sorry. I was having trouble hearing you over the sound of these ramen noodles, which, by the way, are AMAZING! I was saying— Could you repeat that? And bring some more noodles? And some more beer? I was saying that Moe's Tavern is where you belong. Friendship is too important to give up on! I don't know... I did say "goodbye forever" and one day really isn't that close to forever. What bartender around here is going to order you an Uber from Barney's phone after you pass out? Ugh, you're right! Moe is my friend and the only bartender for me! You have to come with me when I talk to him. I can't face him on my own. But I'm working. I have six other tables I've been ignoring this whole time. Hello?! Can anybody hear me? I ordered my ramen ages ago! Hello?! I'm invisible. It's as if I've been banished into the Void by the Lords of the West! Is that why this place is called Ramen Coma?! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Ramen Coma

Pt. 4

After completing Pt. 3 Homer, it's going to be fine. Just go on in. I can't! What if he's forgotten about me? Or laughs in my face for coming back? And what if he makes me pay my bar tab?! You and Moe are both mature adults, well not really...but you are adults. So if you're just honest about your feelings I'm sure everything will work out. OR...I can put on a disguise, sneak in, and listen to all the mean stuff he's probably saying about me! Where are you going to get a disguise at this time of night? I know a guy. Narrator Several minutes later... You want me, Cappie-nominated director, Llewellyn Sinclair, to open up the community theater so you can borrow a costume? Task: "Collect Bottle Caps" (x115). Task: "Make Homer Apply a Cunning Disguise". The job takes place at Springfield Community Theater, Springfield Wrestling Pavilion, Convention Center, or a Visitable Home and takes 3 hours. Homer, you won't blend in at all dressed like Robin Hood. I knew I should have worn that costume from Cats! A tail isn't much of a disguise. Look, I'm solid green. I'm basically camouflage. I'll blend right in. *walks into Moe's* Hey, Carl. Get a load of the subject of two recent big budget action flops: "Robin Hood" with Russell Crowe, and "Robin Hood" with the guy who played Elton John. I think you're in the wrong place, fella. The renaissance faire's that way. Look new guy, there ain't no discounts on drinks for dressin' up in green spandex over here. Unless you're that green man who shows up to Phillies' games. Always wanted to meet that guy... They don't recognize me at all! What'd you say? I'll take two Duffs! That didn't sound at all like what you said previously, but sure thing, two Duffs coming up. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Colette

Pt. 5

After completing Pt. 4 Pray tell, do any of you fine gentlemen know one Homer J. Simpson? I hear he's a famous patron of this establishment. Aw, he don't drink here no more. *sad burp* It was a whole thing, words were said that maybe shouldn't have been said, so he's dead to us. I...I see. Well, I'll just be on my way then... So is this primo barstool now available for me to sit on? *pulls out shotgun* That's far enough. You let your keister touch that stool and you'll be eatin' through a straw for the rest of yer days. It belongs to a legend. The greatest barfly who ever lived in this garbage dump of a town. And the best pal a fella could ask for. Well, aside from all the times he wasn't such a great pal, but I choose to forget those times at this particular moment. Aww, Moe! Come here! Ahhh! This creepy guy in way-too-tight tights is trying to hug me. Get him off! Task: "Collect Bottle Caps" (x200). Task: "Make Homer Dramatically Doff His Disguise". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, an Eatery, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Moe is owned: Task: "Make Moe Be Startled by Homer's Ruse". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, an Eatery, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Barney is owned: Task: "Make Barney Be Confused About What's Happening". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, an Eatery, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Homer! You came back! I can't tell ya how glad I am to see you. Look, I want to make things right with my pal. From now on, I'll split any drink-based invention with ya fifty-fifty, all right? It's good to be back! Now we can— Homer J. Simpson! Uh-oh. I guess you're mad I'm not at home? No, I'm glad you're finally where you're supposed to be! I've been to every bar in town looking for you. I went to "The Bamboo Bazaar", "The Tipsy Tetris", "Chain Fight Charlie's", "O'Darts", "O'Billiards", and even "The Pickled Beet"! At least before, I knew where you were when you were avoiding your family. Well, from now on you can always find me right here at Moe's. I'm so glad you two worked things out. Because those other bars were scary and weird. Especially "Chain Fight Charlie's". I really should have known from the title. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Beer Bottle Fountain

Currency-earning jobs

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward Collect Old Bottle Caps Homer, Moe, Lenny, Carl, Barney, Wiggum, Lou, Ned 4h Tipsy McStagger's, Moe's Tavern, Hell Moe's, Beer -N- Brawl, Knockers, CBGB, Jazzy Goodtime's, Dead Lobster, Skip's Diner, The Java Server, Luigi's, Kwik-E-Mart, Brown House 5, 45 Buy Drinks for the Bottle Caps Harv Bannister 8, 70

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Tavern Trouble quests
Men of Brew Words • The Long Way Homer • Homeward Bored
Colette	A Star is Broken
Harv Bannister	Failing the Trend Test
Robin Hood Homer	Take From the Rich, Give to the Porpoise