 
The Greatest Trick Ever Performed
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| The Greatest Trick Ever Performed
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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The Greatest Trick Ever Performed is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Tragic Magic content update.
Dialogue[edit]
| After completing Party Woes
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Mom, Maggie's birthday is so boring! Plus, Milhouse and I were planning to take photos of Skinner's Prius and sell it online.
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Bart, you're staying put until the end. Also, you have to stop selling people's cars without them knowing!
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Hey! When I put Apu's car in the classifieds without him knowing, it sold way above its Blue Book value. He even gave me a commission!
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Shh... Lisa's magic show is about to start.
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Gather 'round and witness the spectacle of magic!
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*suck suck*
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*suck suck*
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Presto! The rings, once separate, are now...
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...linked together!
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*excited clapping*
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*excited clapping*
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*tries to pull apart his unibrow*
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I'm so proud of my little birthday girl. Maggie's having the best time!
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Yeah, and Hudson is having an amazing time too! I'm surprised, Marge. You seem to have actually put on a pretty good party.
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Thanks, Courtney...
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And now, I need a volunteer. Who shall I pick?
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*waves frantically*
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You — the little lady with the red pacifier!
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*crawls forward*
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You will help me with my greatest trick yet!
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I shall summon a horrifying monster from the great beyond, and you will banish it by throwing this mystical powder at it!
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*suck suck*
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Task: "Collect Magic Wands" (x185). Task: "Make Lisa Summon the Lard-Beast of Donuth". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Maggie is owned: Task: "Make Maggie Banish the Beast". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Hudson is owned: Task: "Make Hudson Watch and Be Amazed". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Grumble About Courtney's Presence". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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Behold, The Lard-Beast of Donuth!
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GROAAAR!
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*suck suck*
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*throws the mystical powder*
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AHH! Wait, is this...powdered sugar?
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Mmm... disappearing sugar...
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Begone, beast! *puff of smoke*
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*suck suck*
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*eating noises*
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 The Great Simpsina
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| After completing Pt. 1
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You did so well, Lisa! Maggie was so happy!
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Aww, thanks Mom.
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The Great Simpsina!
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*puff of smoke*
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I've been waiting under this magical couch for you to return to the stage.
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Cregg Demon, the Magicfreek? How long have you been under there?
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Long enough to sit through Homer attempt and reattempt to "get into" HBO's "The Wire" only to give up around the 3rd episode each time.
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People keep telling me it'll get good by episode 5, but why don't they just start there then?
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Anyway, now that you, The Great Simpsina, have returned to the stage, it's time to settle the ultimate question: which of us truly is the best magician?
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Um, well, you're definitely better... I mean, I'm pretty good, but you're a professional and have your own TV show and Vegas residency...
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Well, I, Cregg Demon, challenge you to a magic-off! We will each perform our greatest trick and see who can Magicfreek the hardest!
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Abracadab-D'OH!
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Shouldn't it just be "Abraca-D'oh"?
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D'OH!
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Task: "Collect Magic Wands" (x150). Task: "Make The Great Simpsina Perform Her Hardest Magic Trick". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Cregg Demon is owned: Task: "Make Cregg Demon MAGICFREEK Everyone". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Worry That This Isn't Appropriate". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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So... Mr. Demon, if I give you a dollar, will you turn my glass of water into an ice-cold Duff?
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Dude, I'm not Jesus.
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I knew it! You CAN'T even do magic!
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Fine, here's some magic for you...
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MAGICFREEK!
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What?! You turned me into a donut!
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Now I'll have to stop me from eating me for the rest of my life!
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Mmmm... toroidal quandary...
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MAGICFREEK!
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Aw man, now I'm just a middle-aged loser again.
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Lisa, can you cheer me up by turning my water into a beer?
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Uh, I can try. Presto Beer-o?
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...
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Nothing happened? Presto Beer-o! Nothing again?
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Okay, maybe this time — PRESTO BEER-O!
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Lisa! It's still water! Magic sucks.
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Oh no! Maybe I have the magical yips!
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Or... never had the skills in the first place. You know, I expected to win, but not to be bored doing it.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Tarot Table
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| After completing Pt. 2
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I don't know why I agreed to compete against Cregg Demon! He's a professional magician! There's no way I'm going to beat him!
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You WILL beat him!
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You're going to wipe that smug eyeliner off that magicfreek!
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Strong words, Homer.
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Yeah, but you know what speaks louder than words?
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Louder words?
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Actions.
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Who let the vampire twins into the house?
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We're coded into the game. We can appear in and out of your little quests whenever we want!
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See? Disappear!
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Appear!
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DARK MAGIC!
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Anyway, it seems that Lisa is in the need of our Aunty advice.
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I'll take anything!
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There's a woman who might be able to give you your magic back. And yes, she takes Venmo and Zelle.
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What's Zelle?
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Nobody knows...
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Lisa, go see Princess Opal. She's a bit strange, but trust us — she'll sort everything out.
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And worst case, she'll give you a fun tarot reading.
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Okay, I guess I can try it out, but only as long as you guys come with me.
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It's a deal!
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So this means you'll all leave?
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Disappear!
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Finally, some peace and quiet. Maybe I should try watching "The Wire" — it has to be good this time!
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Appear! It gets good around episode 5.
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D'OH!
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Task: "Collect Magic Wands" (x150). Task: "Make Lisa Visit Princess Opal's". The job takes place at Princess Opal's, a Shop, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Selma is owned: Task: "Make Selma Take Lisa to Princess Opal's". The job takes place at Princess Opal's, a Shop, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Princess Opal is owned: Task: "Make Princess Opal Be Thankful for a Distraction". The job takes place at Princess Opal's and takes 4 hours.
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Welcome to "Princess Opal's Potions, Hexes, and Fax Machine."
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I guess she couldn't predict the demise of the fax machine.
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Hey! I heard that!
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I'd change the sign, but it's canon.
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Princess Opal, Lisa here is in need of a confidence boost. She is a great magician, but she can't access her magic.
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Mm, sounds like a case of low self-esteem.
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Can you help her?
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Probably not. My potions are 85% corn syrup and 15% high-fructose corn syrup, so there's very little chance they do anything.
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What if I Zelle you $50?
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What's Zelle?
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It says on your website you accept it, along with Venmo...
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Really? Never heard of it. But what I have heard of is cold, hard, cash.
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Okay, I'll try to find an ATM.
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Come on Lisa, let's get your magic back.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Magic Shop
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| After completing Pt. 3
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So, no. Turns out Princess Opal is a total scam artist. She couldn't help Lisa at all.
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Well, I guess "actions" don't speak louder than words.
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Anyhoo, I'm proud to announce that I have solved all of Lisa's magic problems, with my own form of magic.
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I feel like that should make me happy, and not fill me with dread — but all I feel is dread.
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Don't worry, sweetie. That's a very normal reaction to your father's plans.
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Come with me, Lisa! We'll get your confidence back and then you can show that no-good Magicfreek that you're the best magician around.
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Task: "Collect Magic Wands" (x185). Task: "Make Homer Take Lisa to the Magic Palace". The job takes place at the Magic Palace, Magic Shop, Casinos, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Try Not to Panic". The job takes place at the Magic Palace, Magic Shop, Casinos, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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The Magic Palace?
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Yup! And there he is! The man, the myth, the magician himself, Dr. Mesmerino.
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It's just Mesmerino.
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Look, I don't care what you call yourself. All I know is that my little girl needs a confidence boost so that she can teach that no-good Cregg Demon that she's the best magician in town.
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Cregg Demon! I hate that hack! His Magicfreek show exposed several of my greatest secrets.
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I will help you, Lisa — free of charge.
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Thanks, but I don't know if my problem is fixable.
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Just keep your eyes on this watch. Stay focused on it.
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Hypnosis? Really?
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...
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You are brave, and confident, and capable. You can do anything your mind can imagine.
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And you will come up with the greatest magic trick of all time and thoroughly humiliate that fool, Cregg Demon.
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Yes, I will. I will humiliate the fool, Cregg Demon.
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Okay, Mesmerino, now it's my turn. I want you to hypnotize me into becoming super rich!
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Free of charge for her, but $50 for you.
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Okay, fine. Do you take Zelle?
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What's Zelle?
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Fine... I'll try to find an ATM...
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Mesmerino
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| After completing Pt. 4
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Behold! I, The Great Simpsina, have returned, and have come up with the greatest trick ever conceived!
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I will perform a trick of such daring, such brilliance, that Cregg Demon will be forced to realize that he's nothing but a second-rate magic thief!
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Homie? Where did you take her?
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To see Mesmerino! He hypnotized her to make her more confident. He also got her to quit smoking.
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But Lisa doesn't smoke.
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Not any more, she doesn't.
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Now, come with me! To the site of my greatest trick!
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Ooh, a destination showdown!
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| Narrator
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Later, at Springfield Gorge...
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Homer, this is too dangerous! Do something!
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But I just found a good seat. Also, it's not like anything bad ever happens at the Gorge!
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Greetings, Springfielders, and welcome to the site of the greatest escape act that has ever been and will ever be!
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I will be strapped into this straightjacket, and then chained up.
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Straightjacket? All right, Harry Hou-tweeny...
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Your wordplay sucks, Demon!
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And then, I will be lowered into this small clear container filled with water, which will be closed and locked.
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Getting more interesting, but I've done far more challenging escapes.
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And then, this container will be hung over this rope bridge crossing the gorge, which will be lit on fire on both ends, giving me only two minutes to escape!
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If I fail, then I'll either drown, or fall to my death at the bottom of the gorge below.
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Okay, this is like way cooler than anything I've ever done.
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HOMER! We can't let Lisa do this!
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Marge, she goes by the Great Simpsina now.
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Task: "Collect Magic Wands" (x230). Task: "Make The Great Simpsina Perform an Exceptionally Dangerous Escape". The job takes place at Springfield Gorge, Casinos, the Magic Palace, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Take Matters Into Her Own Hands". The job takes place at Springfield Gorge, Casinos, the Magic Palace, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Not Notice Marge has Disappeared". The job takes place at Springfield Gorge, Casinos, the Magic Palace, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Cregg Demon is owned: Task: "Make Cregg Demon Be Entertained Despite His Best Efforts". The job takes place at Springfield Gorge, Casinos, the Magic Palace, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Springfielders Watch the Escape" (x20). The jobs take place at Springfield Gorge, Casinos, the Magic Palace, or a Brown House and take 2 hours.
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Presto Chain-no!
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Awkward delivery, but she got out of those chains way faster than I could.
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And voila! I am free from my straightjacket!
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She's like if David Blaine and Dumbledore had a baby and then that baby... I don't know where I'm going with this.
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All I know is, her act is way better than anything I've ever done.
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Wait— Oh God, the bridge! It's collapsing!
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Oh lordy, she'll fall to her death!
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OUT OF THE WAAAAAY! *rockets past everyone on a motorcycle*
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Hey, that's my motorcycle!
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AAAAAAAAAAH! *motorcycle leaps into the air over the gorge*
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*realizes that the bridge is gone* Aaaah!
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BABY! I'M COMING! *grabs the Great Simpsina*
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AAAAAAH! *lands safely on the other side*
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That was the greatest piece of magic I've ever witnessed!
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Quest reward: 200 and 20 Fortune Teller Machine
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Currency-earning jobs[edit]
| Task
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Character(s)
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Time
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Location(s)
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Reward
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| Purchase Magic Wands
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Lisa, Homer, Marge, Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, Martin, Selma, Patty
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4h
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Magic Shop, Princess Opal's, Shop, Java Server, Brown House
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5, 45
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| Steal Magic Wands From Other Magicians
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Cregg Demon
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Magic Shop, Magic Palace, Princess Opal's, Casinos, Brown House
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7, 70
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| Order Magic Wands for Sale
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Princess Opal
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Princess Opal's
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8, 70
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