  
The Greatest Story Ever Hissed
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
| The Greatest Story Ever Hissed
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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The Greatest Story Ever Hissed is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Rise of the Robots content update. It requires Carnage Destructicus to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Carnage Destructicus' exclamation mark
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I, Carnage Destructicus, the most formidable of the pos-i-bots, want for nothing. My only desire is to be the greatest robotic warrior, and I am that!
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Nothing can shake my faith in my own greatness! I — eh, where are those cats going?
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*meow*
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Hmm...it's as if they are beckoning me to follow them. But to where...?
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| Task: "Make Carnage Destructicus Follow Cats Around". The job takes 8 hours.
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What is this strange domicile they have led me to?
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Aiiieeea flaghor blahjarg!
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What sort of vulgar form of communication is that? Are you challenging me, the mighty Carnage Destructicus, to battle?!
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Shraaaeg rarahrah menarag!
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Ah, I think I begin to understand. You call Carnage Destructicus to some higher purpose...
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Carnage Destructicus' exclamation mark
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Hissarrag naragarr!
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Yes...I understand. You wish to call Carnage Destructicus to action! Whom would you have Carnage Destructicus fight?
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Larrasharag rarrarahar mraaaranerg!
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I see. First I must prove my worth through a quest! Carnage Destructicus shall answer the call.
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*reowrar*
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Lead on, noble herald!
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| Task: "Make Carnage Destructicus Follow Cats Again". The job takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Carnage Destructicus' exclamation mark
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What is this foul-smelling place to which you have led me?
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Hey man, it's a monument to the waste and, like, destructivity of consumer culture, man!
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The old woman with the cats is easier to understand than your prattling. Stand aside!
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*mreowr*
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I see, this mountain of rubbish is to be my adversary.
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Heck yeah, man! Reuse and recycle!
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Task: "Make Carnage Destructicus Destroy Garbage". The job takes place at Springfield Dump, Metal Depot, Plastic Depot, Glass Depot, Uriah's Heap Recycling Center, Monorail Station, Rail Yard, Police Station, or Visitable Businesses and takes 4 hours.
If Hippie is owned: Task: "Make Hippie Get Excited, Man". The job takes place at Springfield Dump, Metal Depot, Plastic Depot, Glass Depot, Uriah's Heap Recycling Center, Monorail Station, Rail Yard, Police Station, or Visitable Businesses and takes 4 hours.
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Whoa, man! You annihilated that garbage!
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But to what end? Was this a pointless errand? Is the old crone with the cats simply mad?
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Dude! There were more cats trapped under there and you totally rescued them!
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I see! So she is indeed a prophet!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Carnage Destructicus' exclamation mark
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Hey man, why are you standing in the middle of the river?
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I was instructed to stand here by the great prophet, the old woman with all the cats.
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A crazy cat lady told you to stand around in some water...and you're just doing it?
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She is wise in ways beyond your comprehension.
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Uh...right. Okay, you stick around here and be wet, me and the boys are gonna go roll down to Jet Lube and get oiled up.
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My faith will be rewarded. You shall see.
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Task: "Make Homer Fail to Jump the River on an Electric Scooter". The job takes place at Springfield Memorial Bridge, Springfield Gorge, Squidport Entrance, or Visitable Businesses and takes 60 minutes.
Task: "Make Carnage Destructicus Save Homer". The job takes place at Springfield Memorial Bridge, Springfield Gorge, Squidport Entrance, or Visitable Businesses and takes 60 minutes.
If Bestimus Mucho is owned: Task: "Make Bestimus Mucho Be Surprised". The job takes place at Springfield Memorial Bridge, Springfield Gorge, Squidport Entrance, or Visitable Businesses and takes 60 minutes.
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AAAAAAAAAH!
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Be at ease, human, for Carnage Destructicus was here to catch you thanks to the vision of the great prophet.
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Oh. Uh, thanks.
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Whoa! She totally knew what was gonna happen!
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Oh, come on. What are the odds that a crazy old cat lady predicted this fat guy would fall off that cliff and so she sent a robot here to help him?
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Now that you say it out loud...I can't believe how prescient she is!
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Come, my friends! Follow me to the prophet!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Carnage Destructicus' exclamation mark
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O wise prophet! I return with more followers. Please bestow your wisdom upon us!
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Yeah, tell us what's gonna happen next!
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Ariiiiirrarar! *walks away*
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Why is she walking away from us?
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I don't think she wants us around.
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No, my friends. It is a test!
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Gyarrrararr! *walks faster*
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Task: "Make Carnage Destructicus Follow Crazy Cat Lady Faithfully". The job takes place at Crazy Cat House, Dumpster 1, Sprawl-Mart, a Kwik-E-Mart, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Bestimus Mucho is owned: Task: "Make Bestimus Mucho Question This Whole Faith Thing". The job takes place at Crazy Cat House, Dumpster 1, Sprawl-Mart, a Kwik-E-Mart, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Crazy Cat Lady is owned: Task: "Make Crazy Cat Lady Try to Ditch the Robots". The job takes place at Crazy Cat House, Dumpster 1, Sprawl-Mart, a Kwik-E-Mart, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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*breaks into a run*
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Worry not, prophet! The faith of Carnage Destructicus cannot be shaken!
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This is stupid. C'mon, guys, let's get out of here!
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You said it. Good luck with your "prophet", Carnage CHUMPicus!
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Ignore them, prophet, I — Wait, come back!
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She is unusually fast for an old woman carrying that many cats.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Carnage Destructicus' exclamation mark
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I do not understand, prophet! Why did you show me the way and the light only to abandon me now and withhold your vision?!
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*insulting hiss*
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Fine! So Bestimus Mucho was right and it was all coincidence and the madness of a woman so lonely she surrounds herself with cats!
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You have made a fool of Carnage Destructicus, but you have lost the last person who had any regard for you. Enjoy your solitude and your cats!
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Task: "Make Carnage Destructicus Storm Off in Disillusionment". The job takes place at Crazy Cat House, Dumpster 1, Sprawl-Mart, a Kwik-E-Mart, or a Brown House and takes 2 hours.
If Crazy Cat Lady is owned: Task: "Make Crazy Cat Lady Watch Him Go". The job takes place at Crazy Cat House, Dumpster 1, Sprawl-Mart, a Kwik-E-Mart, or a Brown House and takes 2 hours.
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Well I tried, boss, but none of 'em has any staying power.
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Ah, don't sweat it. This is pretty much what I expected.
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Trying to get into the ol' prophet business, eh?
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It worked so well for you back in the day, I thought I would give it a shot. I guess faith's just not a growth market, you know?
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I hear that. C'mon, let's go get some perogies — my treat.
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Behind the Laughter[edit]
The quest name is a reference to the religious film The Greatest Story Ever Told.
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