| Diddly Squatter
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Diddly Squatter is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Dog Days content update. It requires Lionel Budgie to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Lionel Budgie's exclamation mark
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So, uh, we're sorry for putting you in jail. Chalk it up to the police overreacting to dogs becoming our overlords.
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You mean the first time the dogs became your overlords.
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It was actually the third time but who's counting, right?
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I'm counting and you're on the fourth time now.
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Right. The fourth time is where cops learn the lesson.
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But you didn't learn the lesson. The dogs are your overlords again.
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Let me spell it out: we learn the lesson on the fourth time, and implement the lesson on the fifth time. There is no WAY the dogs are becoming our overlords again.
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Task: "Make Lionel Budgie Return to the Office". The job takes place at Lionel Budgie D.V.M. and takes 4 hours.
If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Count the Dogpocalypses". The job takes place at the Police Station and takes 4 hours.
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Excuse me. This is my veterinary practice. What are you doing here?
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It was empty, so I moved in.
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That's called squatting.
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Squatting...such an ugly word. I prefer leeching. Don't worry. I knew you'd be back, so I've continued seeing your patients in your absence.
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You what?!
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I know I don't have any training but your patients don't know that.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Lionel Budgie's exclamation mark
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Out! Now!
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You can't just kick me to the curb. I have rights. There are leech laws in this town!
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You're squatting on private property and you're impersonating a medical professional.
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Excuse me. I'm here for Mr. Squiggles' appointment.
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Ah, let me have a look at Mr. Squiggles.
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Get out!
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You've scared Mr. Squiggles and now he's gone back inside his shell.
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I thought he was a dog?
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He's a dog who thinks he's a turtle.
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Task: "Make Lionel Budgie See a Patient". The job takes 4 hours.
If Kirk is owned: Task: "Make Kirk Assist With the Patient". The job takes place at Lionel Budgie D.V.M., Animal Hospital, Springfield Animal Shelter, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Lionel, you're out of sugar. Can't have coffee without sugar!
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Why are you still here?
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Because you've got back-to-back appointments all afternoon. And I'm gonna need coffee to get through my half of those.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Lionel Budgie's exclamation mark
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I'm told you're the man to see in town for muscle.
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Who wants to know?
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Duh. Me. The one standing in front of you. Hello.
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What is it you need, my smart-mouthed friend? Rival family encroaching on your turf? Nosey cops need disappearing?
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Loser father squatting in veterinary office and hiding behind legal loopholes.
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Ah, me and my boys specialize in that.
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Task: "Make Lionel Budgie Show Fat Tony to His Office". The job takes place at Lionel Budgie D.V.M. and takes 4 hours.
If Fat Tony is owned: Task: "Make Fat Tony Go Deal With the Squatter". The job takes place at Lionel Budgie D.V.M., Animal Hospital, Springfield Animal Shelter, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Lionel Budgie's exclamation mark
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Here we are. The squatter is inside.
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Alright, boys. You know what to do. Even if you don't know what to do, do something.
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You got it, Boss. We'll just wait for all these pets to finish escaping first.
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Huh-whaa?
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| Task: "Make Lionel Budgie Wrangle Escaping Pets". The job takes place at Lionel Budgie D.V.M. and takes 4 hours.
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Wait, there's birds in there! You didn't mention birds. I do NOT like birds.
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Why birds?
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It all started with that movie.
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Hitchcock's "The Birds"?
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No. "The Angry Birds Movie". That red one was so angry.
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Okay, well — your BOYS can go in and deal with the squatter.
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Leaving the boss behind would be a tacit admission that he is scared of birds, and we don't want to end up in the river.
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They know me so well.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Lionel Budgie's exclamation mark
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So you want US to go in and beat up Milhouse's dad.
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You don't have to beat him up. Just...remove him.
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It's all part of the package we offer. No a la carte pricing.
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In or out... I'm not heatin' the outdoors!
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Who the heck are you?
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I'm renting out the other seven exam rooms.
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Whoa! Not Groundskeeper Willie! He's like the one guy that scares us! We are outta here!
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Isn't anybody in this town man enough to remove squatters?!
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Did somebody order a hero?!
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I Grubhub'd an enchilada plate.
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Wait is that a weasel?!
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It's a ferret.
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Even worse! Everybody, run for your lives!
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Task: "Make Lionel Budgie Just Accept Having Roommates". The job takes place at Lionel Budgie D.V.M. and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Run From Killer Ferrets". The job takes 4 hours.
If any Bullies are owned: Task: "Make Bullies Run From Killer Groundskeepers". The job takes 4 hours.
If Kirk is owned: Task: "Make Kirk Make Coffee for the Office". The job takes place at Lionel Budgie D.V.M., Animal Hospital, Springfield Animal Shelter, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Willie is owned: Task: "Make Groundskeeper Willie Tend the Gardens Out Front". The job takes place at Lionel Budgie D.V.M., Animal Hospital, Springfield Animal Shelter, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Who the heck would want a ferret? They're killers!
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I think they're cute.
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I don't think I know you anymore.
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Dad, where did you get that ferrets are scary?
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It's one of your major fears – snakes, spiders, heights, tight spaces and ferrets!
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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