Extreme Makeover: Homer Edition/Quotes
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< Extreme Makeover: Homer Edition
Revision as of 09:49, June 19, 2026 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs) (Created page with "{{TabQ}} {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer? A Cracker Bro?|Simpsley}} {{qf|Marge}} What am I going to wear? What am I going to wear? Hmm. Too casual. Too dressy. Too bangin'. No...")
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- Marge: What am I going to wear? What am I going to wear? Hmm. Too casual. Too dressy. Too bangin'. Not bangin' enough. Maggie spit up on this one. Homer spit up on this one.
- Bart: So wait, you're really having date night at Clangerz? That's a lame nostalgia bar for you voicemail-leaving dinosaurs.
- Homer: Hey, how about a little respect? Unlike you pasty Chalamets, my generation faced real challenges. We stormed the beaches of MTV's spring break in Cancún to taste test different sodas in the Cola Wars. I chose Pepsi, and I regret it every day of my life.
- Homer: Honey, no one's more excited than I am to meet up with Carl and Naima and Lenny and whatever bizarre creature is crazy enough to date him.
- Marge: Okay, Marge, you can do this. Just don't talk about money, politics, or sex.
- Naima: Hey, Marge.
- Marge: Republican tax cuts make me horny!
- Marge: This is such fun restaurant banter, like the beginning of a sketch on Saturday Night Live before all the wacky behavior ruins their nice evening.
- Marge: This might be a hot take, but I wish the Olympics were every week.
- Carl Carlson: That's genius. No way you'd get bored of that.
- Lenny Leonard: It would bring the world together. Goodbye, wars.
- Marge: You left the kids unsupervised?
- Homer: No, no, the doorbell's watching them. It's very responsible. And I gave Lisa a brick to hit strangers with.
- Lisa: It's heavy!
- Homer: That means it's working.
- Homer: I feel the need, the need to go really fast.
- Seymour Skinner: All right, Simpson, you've broken the sound barrier. Now pull up.
- Homer: Sorry, Cap, not till I break the smell barrier.
- Gary Chalmers: Simpson, I am ordering you to undergo psychological evaluation to determine the source of this reckless behavior.
- Homer: Go ahead, sic a shrink on me. When that dude looks inside my head, whoever he is, that man won't find a thing. You tell that male doctor with his prominent Adam's apple and hairy boobless chest to go pound sand with his big masculine fists.
- Marge: Why don't you tell me yourself?
- Marge: You seek out danger. Why?
- Homer: Danger is a me-seeking missile, and I face it head on. No fear.
- Homer: Because of my stupid fear of fear, I lost every one of my wingmen. I'm responsible for so many wing widows. Then I have to do a flyover at the funeral, and I lose another wingman. It's a vicious cycle. [sobs]
- Seymour Skinner: Simpson, thank God you're here. America's greatest enemy is preparing to attack.
- Homer: Who? China?
- Gary Chalmers: No, not China. Oh, God, no. Not China.
- Marge: Russia.
- Gary Chalmers: No, not Russia either. No.
- Homer: North Korea?
- Gary Chalmers: Stop naming real countries.
- Otto Mann: Only America should be able to wipe out all life on Earth.
- Gary Chalmers: Bold Eagle, this is the kind of insane off-the-charts stunt you were born for. Can we count on you?
- Homer: Admiral, I conquered my fear of fear, and now I'm not afraid to be afraid. I can't do the coffin roll. I might die! Even the name is scary. [shrieks]
- Homer: I'm fearless again. You uncured the cure you cured before.
- Marge: Now get up there and go kill our purposefully vague enemies.
- Homer: Engaging coffin roll.
- Seymour Skinner: You'll never survive it with your plane in that shape. It's suicide.
- Homer: Wrong, it's them-icide.
- Marge: Nonexististan!
- Amy: Oh, good, you're back. You've been staring into your drink and drooling for the last eight minutes.
- Marge: [groans] You're Homer's best pals. Tell me something. What's his whole deal?
- Lenny: Uh… good provider.
- Carl: Uh, go-getter.
- Marge: You're just saying that because you're his friends with benefits. [pause] You know, because you're all on the same health and pension plan.
- Clancy Wiggum: Top-notch work, Simpson. You're a vital part of this company.
- Homer: Thank you, sir.
- Wiggum: Now go back to the anonymous junior executive floor and resume toiling.
- Barney Gumble: Dynamite presentation today, Simpson. There may be an opening for an executive position in optimization.
- Homer: Optimization? Ooh, that's a world of difference from efficiency.
- Barney: Don't you want this? I thought you had lead in your pencil, whiskey in your coffee, sand in your hula hoop.
- Homer: I have all those things in those things, metaphor-wise.
- Barney: That's very wise, wise-wise.
- Birk Simpson: Tell us again about the executive washroom, Papa.
- Dirk Simpson: How big is the urinal trough?
- Homer: No trough, boys.
- Dirk: Golly.
- Birk: What a life.
- Helen Simpson: It's settled. We are going to that party and you are getting that promotion. This family's going to move up in the world, even if it means you have to work late in the city and never spend a night in our bed again.
- Marge: Don't you feel like this great cosmic energy is pushing us together?
- Homer: Like, yeah. Like, I never felt, like, this free before. I never thought I'd use this many "likes" in a sentence. I, like, think, like, I'm in, like, love, like, with, like, you, like.
- Marge: You're a poet. Let's run away together to California.
- Homer: I'll like do it.
- Helen Simpson: While you ran off God knows where, in God knows what animation style, I did your job and buttered up your boss.
- Marge: Oh, that was so sad, but all those driveways were spotless. I think I'm too drunk to interpret meaning.
- Amy: Oh! I'm sorry. Is there maybe a trauma of his you're ignoring?
- Marge: Don't give me the head tilt. You know, landing Lenny does not make you a relationship expert. He fakes eye injuries to avoid intimacy.
- Amy: [gasps] That's not true, is it, lover?
- Lenny: Uh... Ah! My eye. Gotta go for three weeks.
- Marge: Auf Wiedersehen, imaginary cocktail leprechaun.
- Aperol Fritz: [German accent] I am real. I exist. [American accent] Mmm, my name is Steve.
- Homer: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Krusty's still got it, right, Dad?
- Grampa: You're the only one that laughs at that degenerate clown.
- Homer: Krusty helps me forget my troubles.
- Grampa: What troubles have you got to forget? Now rinse me off with our only broth ladle.
- Snake Jailbird: Okay, clowns and clownettes, when you work those birthday parties and discount sales, remember, you are not Krusty, nor are you affiliated with the Krusty brand. You are his unlicensed friend, Krummy.
- Krusty: Last night, one of my biggest fans was brutally attacked on the streets of Darkham.
- Homer: Krusty.
- Krusty: He was stomped and beaten and thrown down Origin Story stairs, all because he was dressed like little old me.
- Homer: Krusty loves me.
- Krusty: It was a senseless, brutal crime committed by my four hilarious guests, the Stomp Brothers!
- Margely Quinn: I know you. You're Homer.
- D'ohker: A beautiful lunatic knows my name?
- Margely: Everybody knows you. The whole city saw what you did to that rich guy. Everyone is on your side in your fight against authority. You're not just infamous. You're famous.
- Kent Brockman: This crowd of clown celebrators or clowncels have gathered in support of the vigilante who struck a blow against systemic injustice by murdering a rich man who was donating money to the hospital. They have dubbed their new hero the D'ohker.
- D'ohker: This may be the 39 flights of stairs I fell down talking, but I hear a slow, haunting version of a song that's usually fast and funny.
- D'ohker: We did it. We solved all of society's problems by killing my favorite talk show host.
- Margely: Oh! We're just getting started. We'll burn this whole city down, and nothing can stop us because Batman is contractually not allowed to exist in this universe.
- Moe Szyslak: Marge, you're the classiest person to ever pass out in my bar, but you should go on home now.
- Marge: There he is, my Homer.
- Homer: I'm sorry about everything.
- Marge: Shh. It's okay.
- Homer: I know all you wanted was a fun couples night out, and I couldn't even really be there.
- Marge: Oh, you were there. You're the bravest, smartest, happiest Homer for me. You're perfect.
| Disney+ Exclusive Quotes
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| O C'mon All Ye Faithful • The Past and the Furious • Yellow Planet • Extreme Makeover: Homer Edition • Simpsley • Yellow Mirror | ||
| Shorts | ||
| The Force Awakens from Its Nap* • The Good, the Bart, and the Loki • Plusaversary • When Billie Met Lisa • Feliz Navidad • Welcome to the Club • Rogue Not Quite One* • May the 12th Be with You • The Most Wonderful Time of the Year | ||
