Difference between revisions of "To Kill a Scoundrel"

Latest revision as of 12:29, May 16, 2025

To Kill a Scoundrel

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Love and War Required characters: Esme Delacroix Internal name(s): ToKillAScoundrel ID(s): 241032 - 241036

To Kill a Scoundrel is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Love and War content update. It requires Esme Delacroix to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Esme Delacroix's exclamation mark Esme! The sales numbers just came in for "To Divorce a Scoundrel" and they're record-breaking! That's unsurprising. The idea was so strong that anyone could have written that novel, really. Anyone who went to Yale, that is. So, how many did we sell? Zero! I didn't sell a single copy? I'm afraid not. And your display copy from the store window was stolen, so you owe us. This is terrible. What am I going to do? Well, with numbers this bad, it looks like your Scoundrel series is over. But what about my sequels, "The Scoundrel in the Rye," "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Scoundrels," and "The Complete Scoundrels Guide to Idiots?" Canceled, I'm afraid. The publisher doesn't think it's a profitable investment anymore. But cheer up, lots of women in their fifties start new careers. Have you heard of ViewTube? You think I can become a ViewTube influencer? No, but I think you can learn from their training videos. Task: "Make Esme Delacroix Investigate ViewTube". The job takes place at Books! Books! And Additional Books! or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Esme Delacroix's exclamation mark Esme, I heard about the book. I'm so sorry. I'm not going to lie to you, Marge. This is the worst day of my entire life. Except for that time I had to read an entire Young Adult vampire trilogy in one day. Did I say "read"? I meant "write". Oh, you poor thing. Why don't you come over for dinner the next time you have a free evening? Let me check my calendar. Let's see, I have an opening... every night for the rest of my life now. Task: "Make Esme Delacroix Go to Dinner With Marge". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Cook Dinner for Esme". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Thank you, Marge. That was a wonderful meal. Much better than all the Krusty burgers that await my future. Mom, can we go watch cartoons now? Yeah, Itchy and Scratchy have a new episode tonight where Itchy dies so his ghost can wipe out all of Scratchy's ancestors in the afterlife. What's "Itchy and Scratchy"? Only the best show ever. It compresses the blood and guts from a McBain movie down to 30 seconds, which is my exact attention span. And I find the intrinsic battle between good and evil viscerally — oh, who am I kidding? It's wicked funny! Wow, you children get really excited about this show! Tell me more. Sorry lady, already lost interest. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Esme Delacroix's exclamation mark Esme Delacroix! Why would a classy smut writer like you want to write for "Itchy and Scratchy"? I think I can bring an unparalleled level of sophistication to your show and modernize it for the next era of television. Got it. You need a quick payday. Now you realize writing for kids animation is the lowest paying genre of television writing with limitless rewrites and no residuals. So, when do I start? Immediately! Where were you when I was producing adult entertainment? Task: "Make Esme Delacroix Write an Itchy and Scratchy Episode". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Thanks for coming to watch your big debut at our house, Esme. I can't wait to see it! Thanks. I'm excited to be here and watch the kids' faces. Shhh! It's starting! I've got you cornered now, Scratchy. Time to do something I've always wanted to do... *reaches in pocket* ... *pulls out ring* Will you marry me? Huh? What the—? Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Esme Delacroix's exclamation mark Lisa, did Itchy just give Scratchy a diamond ring? Yep. And he didn't use it to slit his throat or gouge an eyeball? Nope. Real time commentary. I'm not used to that in the book world. I'm also not used to turning off the TV and running out of the room. Task: "Make Esme Delacroix Wait for Feedback". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Stall". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Kids, what did you think? Well... umm... it was... it was... it was... The right length...? Yay! That's exactly what they said about "War and Peace and Scoundrels"! Hold on, Roger is calling. Probably to congratulate me! *on phone* Uh huh... Uh huh... Oh really? Okay, bye. What did he say? Three things: I killed the franchise. I'm fired. And he's going back to adult entertainment. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Esme Delacroix's exclamation mark Tough break, Esme. If you want, I could always use more help on my next novel, "Thunder Down Under". Does it need any scoundrels? If I answer that will you charge me another consulting fee? Never mind. I think I'll just go back to Yale and teach writing. You don't think it would be difficult to get a job there after your recent writing struggles? Maybe you didn't hear me. I said I was going to teach at Yale. Task: "Make Esme Delacroix Go Back to Yale". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 200 and 20

Behind the Laughter[edit]

The quest name is a reference to the novel To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.