This Little Wiggy/Quotes
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- Mrs. Krabappel: Now whose calculator can tell me what 7 times 8 is?
- Milhouse: Oh, oh, oh... Low battery?
- Mrs. Krabappel: [sigh] Whatever.
- Lisa: What a whimsical building! Who says science can't be fun?
- Bart: Me. I smell a museum.
- Homer: Yeah. Good things don't end with "eum." They end with "mania"... Or "teria." Will there be beer?
- Troy McClure: Welcome to the Knowledgeum! I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as "Welcome to Springfield Airport" and "Where's Nordstrom?" While you're enjoying our Hall Of Wonders, your car will unfortunately be subject to repeated break-ins...
- Ralph: I found a moon rock in my nose.
- Bart: Houston, we have a booger.
- Ralph: Your hair is tall and pretty.
- Marge: Well, thank you, Ralph. You're such a fine young gentleman. [she puts her hand on Ralph's shoulder]
- Ralph: Help! She's touching my special area!
- Homer: Then me and my friend were about to press it, but the man said not to press it. But we pressed it anyway and we ran and we hid in the giant tire. Oh yeah, and my other friend was already there.
- Marge: All right, all right, now. You're over-stimulated. Let's get some beer in you, and then it's right to bed.
- Homer: Woo hoo! Beer, beer, beer!
- Ralph: Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch.
- Ralph: This is my swing set. This is my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. That's where I saw the leprechaun.
- Bart: Right, leprechaun.
- Ralph: He told me to burn things.
- Bart: Come on, Ralph—your Dad's a cop. There must be some cool stuff around here. Bullets, dead body photos, what have you.
- Ralph: He keeps that stuff in his closet, but he says I'm not allowed in there.
- Bart: Did he say I'm not allowed in there?
- Ralph: Yes.
- Bart: Wow! Dad's been in jail six times. Aw, and Mom's only been in twice.
- Chief Wiggum: You know you're not supposed to go in there. What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?
- Bart: Sorry, Chief. Uhm, we were just playing.
- Wiggum: Ralphie, you got a friend? That's fantastic. Here, here, have some riot gear, it's on the house.
- Kearney: Let's use this thing to rob the school.
- Jimbo: Let's go to the zoo and tease the dingo.
- Dolph: Let's use it to key some cars.
- Bart: Here she is. The Big House. The Stony Lonesome. The Thug Jug. The Mobster Trap. Penn State. The Old Crook Buck--
- Nelson: Shut up! Let's just open the gate.
- Bart: Wow! Look at all these toilets. And just inches from your bed. Talk about luxury.
- Bart: Whoa, momma! The electric chair! Smell that, Ralph? That's the smell of justice.
- Ralph: Smells like hot dogs.
- Mayor Quimby: To demonstrate what you're in for, I will now strap myself into this electric chair, which was deactivated over thirty years ago, and I can only assume still is.
- Leprechaun: You've done grand, laddie. Now you know what you have to do. Burn the house down. Burn them all.