The Unbearable Darkness of Being

The Unbearable Darkness of Being

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 15 Update: Hot Diggity D'oh! Required characters: Homer, Lisa Internal name(s): TheUnbearableDarknessOfBeing ID(s): 254000 - 254001 Previous quest(s): Marge, Bart Next quest(s): Release the Grease Pt. 1

The Unbearable Darkness of Being is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Hot Diggity D'oh! content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After starting the update We now return to "The Great British Boiling Show". Exquisite boiling! It's clear that these potatoes were vigorously washed before entering the pot. He's right. Edwin really went to town washing those potatoes. As for Elsie, her potatoes are tremendously undercooked. Get your head in the game, Elsie! It's all about time management. Homer, what are you still doing here? It's the middle of a workday. The plant finally instituted a four-day work week — so it's my day off. Then why do we keep getting angry voicemails from Mr. Burns asking where you are? Get your hindquarters in here — posthaste! *beep* Is your absence due to that four-day work week foolishness?! My memorandum clearly stated that I was adding four MORE days of work to each bi-week! *beep* You nincompoop, we are facing a crisis-level meltdown due to your desertion! *beep* I didn't realize Mr. Burns was a "make phone calls to employees" type of boss... Oh yeah, he's always leaving me voicemails like that. It's our thing. And the winner of the Boiled Potato Challenge is— *power outage* What?! Who won the Potato Challenge? Elsie? Edwin?! What's happening?! The power went out because you're not at the nuclear plant! Get over there and fix it! I can't see a thing in here! Okay, I'll go. But only after I find out who won the Potato Challenge. But we have no power. Marge, Marge, Marge. I'm already hooking the TV up to the generator. Task: "Make Homer Watch "The Great British Boiling Show"". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 6 seconds. If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Search for a Flashlight". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 6 seconds. I can't believe the power is still out. It's been a full day of this! Could be weeks, Marge. Trust me, a bunch of morons run things at that plant. Well, they're all out of flashlights at the store and the only candles we have left are these mosquito repellent ones... Yeah, I think the dog's allergic to the scent or something. *drunken barks* *annoyed grumble* Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After completing Pt. 1 Aw man, the generator stopped working! Now I'll never find out who won the Root Vegetable Boil-Off! And I was in the middle of my video game walkthrough! How am I supposed to kill "Ragnor: The Zombie Conqueror" without seeing someone walk me through the exact way you can kill him?! I curse whoever caused this godforsaken power outage! You caused it! Oh yeah, right. Homer, you know what will make this all better? Sgt. Sausage! Thank God you're alive! Did you finally win the war against the Buns?! Yes, "The Bundred Years War" has ended with our victory. List the battles you fought! *sigh* Do I have to? *shaking fist* List them. "The Battle of Vienna Sausage", "The Bay of Pigs in a Blanket", "The French's Revolution"... Keep 'em comin'. "The War of the Relish Succession", "The Coleslaw Uprising", "The Ket-chup Offensive"... Mmm, hot dog puns. So what are you doing back in my imagination?! I'm here to remind you that no matter how dark things may seem, hot dogs always make everything brighter. So the solution to this blackout is me eating hot dogs?! Woohoo! I just got word the Buns have attacked Pearl Onion Harbor! But pearl onions don't go on hot dogs! Exactly! Good luck on your hot dog journey, Homer. *disappears* Godspeed, Sgt. Sausage. Thank you for all your hot dog service. Marge! Do we have hot dogs?! I need to eat as many as possible because of the blackout! Homie, are you talking to that imaginary hot dog soldier guy again? Leave Sgt. Sausage out of this. Well, I hope cold hot dogs will do. Without power, I have no way to heat them up. C'mon, boy. Let's head down to the Squidport where they know all about the correct temperature for hot dogs. Task: "Make Homer Head to the Squidport". The job takes place at the Squidport Entrance, Bloaters at the Squidport, or Simpson House and takes 6 seconds. If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Head to the Squidport". The job takes place at the Squidport Entrance, Bloaters at the Squidport, or Simpson House and takes 6 seconds. If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Light More Candles". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 6 seconds. Task: "Make Lisa Enjoy Quiet Reading by Candlelight". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 6 seconds. Okay, we'll take fourteen chili dogs... No, fifteen. Fifteen chili dogs? The only person who orders that many is my friend, H-Dog! Deuce! I didn't realize you opened a place at the Squidport! Dad? You know this hot dog stand guy? Of course he knows me. He was my best customer at Deuce's Caboose Chili Dogs. That's right. Hey whatever happened to Deuce's Caboose? You stole the caboose and drove it off a bridge! Oh yeah. I sort of do recall doing that... But it's all in the past, H-Dog... Things are going great for me now! I've been selling all my hot dog grease to the Grease Recycling Plant and I'm making a killing! Oh yeah, we tried that once. Not exactly what I'd call a lucrative endeavor... That was before the blackout drove the price of grease through the roof. Since every store sold out of candles, people are making their own at home — out of GREASE! *whispering* But don't tell anyone. *whispering* Your sound business plan is safe with me. *whispering* Bart. We gotta get in on this racket. Don't tell the hot dog guy. *whispering* I can still hear you. *whispering* So...is it okay if we also sell grease? *whispering* As long as I get 10%. You've got a deal! Simpson & Son Grease Co. is back in the grease game! We're back in the fat graft! In the gristle grind! In the tallow shall-owe...? Yeah, that one doesn't work... It's the attempt that counts. Thanks, Dad. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Behind the Laughter

The quest name is a reference to the novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera.

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Hot Diggity D'oh! quests
The Unbearable Darkness of Being • Release the Grease • Off to Mexico
Deuce	Deal With the Deuce
Dr. Hot Dog	The Prince of Sulphides
Sgt. Sausage	The Imaginarium of Sgt. Sausage