The Telltale Head/Quotes
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- Jimbo: Naw, that was cloud talk. Throwing stones is one thing but I would never cut off the head of a guy who killed a bear with his own hands. What's in the bag, Bart?
- Bart: Uhhhh.
- Jimbo: I said, what's in the bag, Bart?!
- Janey: Will my dog Pepper be there?
- Ms. Albright: I'm sorry but the answer is no.
- Janey: Why not?
- Ms. Albright: Because Heaven is for people.
- Lisa: What about my cat Snowball?
- Ms. Albright: I'm sorry, but the answer is no!
- Milhouse: Will there be cavemen in heaven?
- Ms. Albright: Certainly not.
- Bart: Uh, ma'am. What if you're a really really good person, but you're in a really, really bad fight and your leg gets gangrene and it has to be amputated, will it be waiting for you in Heaven?
- Ms. Albright: For the last time Bart, yes!
- Ms. Albright: [continuing the conversation from earlier] The ventriloquist goes to heaven, but the dummy doesn't.
- Bart: Oh, oh, oh! Me!
- Ms. Albright: Bart?
- Bart: What about a robot with a human brain?
- Ms. Albright: I don't know! All these questions... is a little blind faith too much to ask?!
- Krusty: [grimly] There's someone out there in Krustyland who has committed an atrocity! If you know who cut off Jebediah's head...I don't care it's your brother, your sister, your daddy or your mommy...[cheerfully] Turn 'em in and Krusty will send you a free slide-whistle just like Sideshow Bob!!
- Bart: Dad, can I borrow five bucks?
- Homer: I hope you're not planning on seeing a certain movie starring certain Space Mutants that a certain mother didn't want you to see. [laughs]
- Bart: [laughs] Perish the thought!
- Homer: [handing Bart five dollars] Here you go son. 'Share the wealth', that's what I always say!
