  
The Salesman Who Came in From the Cold
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
| The Salesman Who Came in From the Cold
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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The Salesman Who Came in From the Cold is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Hell on Wheels content update. It requires Crazy Vaclav to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Crazy Vaclav's exclamation mark
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Third quarter of low auto sales in row. Is no good. Maybe things get better with new models.
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The only new thing you'll be modeling is stripes. In the slammer.
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Stripes? Slammer? You talk like old movie cliché.
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Bottle the sauce, Yakov, you're under arrest.
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Is Vaclav. Yakov is cousin. Why is under arrest?
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Tax evasion. You owe federal, state, county or city taxes, and your neighborhood watch dues are late, too, but that's not my jurisdiction.
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How can Vaclav pay income tax if Vaclav has no income? Is just honest businessman suffering in hard economic time. Yet you treat Crazy Vaclav like spy!
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You're saying you're a spy?!
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No! Absolutely not!
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Exactly what a spy would say!
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If Rex Banner is owned: Task: "Make Rex Banner Grill Vaclav". The job takes place at Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Crazy Vaclav Insist He Loves America". The job takes place at Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
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What exactly do you do here?
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Vaclav buy, sell, and trade within ring of Eastern Europeans.
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A spy ring, eh?
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Okay, Crazy Vaclav could have worded better.
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Listen, Vaclav. You help me take down your spy ring and I can promise you immunity.
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Okay, you buy car from Vaclav and Vaclav gives you names of other members of ring.
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Sounds reasonable.
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Vaclav doesn't know that word but you got deal. You like car with roof or no?
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You have convertibles?
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Ah, no. Just some cars have no roof.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Crazy Vaclav's exclamation mark
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Who is fancy man in dinner jacket?
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The name's Bont. Agent Bont.
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I sent for him because he has experience busting up spy rings.
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Is true? You buy car from Vaclav and add to your experience.
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Do you have an Aston Martin?
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Sure. Keys in pig farm outside town. Buried under a trough. You dig them up and I give you good deal.
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But I might get...dirty.
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Oh, big shot spy doesn't want to get dirty. C'mon Bont, go get the keys and let's bust up this spy ring.
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Task: "Make Crazy Vaclav Send Bont to Dig Through a Pig Sty". The job takes place at Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
If Agent Bont is owned: Task: "Make Agent Bont Try to Keep His Suit Clean". The job takes place at the Crap Silo, Cletus's Farm, or Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
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I caught this here British feller rootin' in my pig trough. He says you sent him. *cocks shotgun*
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He got the drop on me. Please tell him something to get him to put down the shotgun.
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No problem. Cletus is long lost brother from the old country, right Cletus?
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I do have a lot of brothers who are old and from the country.
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Is right! Now is perfect time to buy a new pickup truck from Brother Vaclav.
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I reckon it is.
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Nice work Vaclav. But he still has the gun pointed at my head.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Crazy Vaclav's exclamation mark
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Hat cop and tuxedo man still here?
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Yes! You told us you would give us the names of your spy ring confederates if we bought a car from you.
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And we've each bought three cars!
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Is good. Okay, here is new plan: Vaclav call spy comrade Zutroy and you watch us talk spy talk from van.
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Van, what van?
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Van with video recording equipment and tinted windows.
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We don't have a van like that.
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Oh, then Vaclav has a deal for you! Right this way...
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Task: "Make Crazy Vaclav Sell a Surveillance Van to the Feds". The job takes place at Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
If Rex Banner is owned: Task: "Make Rex Banner Buy a High-Tech Surveillance Van". The job takes place at Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
If Zutroy is owned: Task: "Make Zutroy Watch". The job takes place at Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
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That was a complete waste of time! You two didn't say anything about spying.
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Or a word in English!
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Vaclav doesn't think Zutroy speak English.
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I speak perfect English.
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You do? Then what did you two talk about?
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Vaclav said he would give you the identities of the members of the spy ring if you buy one more car from him.
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But we've already bought a fleet of cars!
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He said ONE MORE car. Don't you understand English?
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Crazy Vaclav's exclamation mark
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We've been outside Lugash's Gym for hours and I haven't seen a single Russian.
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Quit whining, Bont! You're the one who insisted on coming along.
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Yes, but I'm all scrunched up in the tiny back seat of your new car!
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It's not MY new car. It's the government's new car. At least it will be if they approve my expense report.
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Quiet! Look and use microphone.
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Good day, Lugash!
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A Russian! He's even got the requisite red beard!
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Good day, Rasputin! I have your item ready for pickup.
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It's a pickup! Good work, Vaclav.
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If Rex Banner is owned: Task: "Make Rex Banner Bust Lugash". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, All Night Gym, Shapes, Old Scratch's Gym, a Brown House, or Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
If Lugash is owned: Task: "Make Lugash Get "Busted"". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, All Night Gym, Shapes, Old Scratch's Gym, a Brown House, or Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
If Agent Bont is owned: Task: "Make Agent Bont Search Rasputin". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, All Night Gym, Shapes, Old Scratch's Gym, a Brown House, or Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
If Rasputin the Friendly Russian is owned: Task: "Make Rasputin the Friendly Russian Suplex Agent Bont". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, All Night Gym, Shapes, Old Scratch's Gym, a Brown House, or Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Crazy Vaclav Watch Comical Spy Bust". The job takes place at Lugash's Gym, All Night Gym, Shapes, Old Scratch's Gym, a Brown House, or Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
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You suplexed me!
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Was honest mistake. Man in tuxedo is very out of place. Is best to suplex and ask questions later.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Crazy Vaclav's exclamation mark
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Wait, what is this item you were picking up? Is this...underwear?
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Is Rasputin's new wrestling singlet. I ask comrade Lugash to order because he get discount through gym.
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Did we just bust a tighty-whities handoff?
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They are actually tighty-reddies.
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I think that suplex gave me a concussion. That's the only logical explanation for this nightmarish experience.
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I'll call an ambulance.
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No need to call. Vaclav will sell you ambulance.
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If Rex Banner is owned: Task: "Make Rex Banner Back Out of Deal". The job takes place at Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Crazy Vaclav Pay Back Taxes". The job takes place at Crazy Vaclav's Place of Automobiles and takes 4 hours.
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I'm not buying any more cars from you!
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Is fine, Agent Banner. Crazy Vaclav already make plenty of money from cars you buy, pay back taxes now.
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That deal is off, too!
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Oh no, Crazy Vaclav remember citizenship classes! Protected by most sacred American value.
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And what's that?
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"All Sales Final"!
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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Behind the Laughter[edit]
The quest name is a reference to the spy novel The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John le Carré.
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