The Man Who Grew Too Much/Quotes
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543
"The Man Who Grew Too Much"
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- Marge: Bake sale—taken. Candle snuffing—taken. Baby shusher, miscellaneous choir support. Everything's taken! All that's left is...
- Ned Flanders: Teen abstinence counseling. You get to pass out abstinence pledges and make sure the kids sign their John Han-bleeps.
- Marge: But, Ned, saying nay is your thing.
- Ned: Not this month. Edna signed us up for a tango class. It was the only way I could avert... wine-tasting.
- Marge: Look, I'm really not comfortable talking about S-E-X with K-I-D-S.
- Reverend Lovejoy: [walking passby] Language.
- Ned: Oh, it's not that hard. Just tell them that God wants them to ignore everything in their bodies that God is making happen.
- Todd Flanders: We took the pledge!
- Rod Flanders: We won't have sex until we're married!
- Todd: To each other!
- [Rod and Tood are skipping out together as they humming tune happily]
- Ned: Mm, their skipping lessons are really paying off.
- Lisa: [to Marge] Mom, can I visit Sideshow Bob?
- Bart: Why would you want to do that? He's tried to kill us!
- Lisa: You. He tried to kill you. And I refuse to concede a mind that thinks so much like mine can be all bad.
- Marge: Don't you think the parts that aren't evil are a little, pretentious?
- Bart: Absolutely. We're talking about Lisa, right?
- Lisa: Shut up!
- Bart: You shut up!
- Lisa: This is the pinnacle of conversation around here!
- Homer: Fine, I'll take you. They have this cool psych class at the campus I sat in on.
- Marge: Uh, that was a sexual harassment seminar.
- Homer: It doesn't matter. I'm taking it pass-fail.
- Lisa: Dad! You already ate all the chocolate bars.
- Homer: That's why I got to get the marshmallows down fast.
- Homer: [reading Tweeter's Digest] I like how they cut them down from 140 characters to a more manageable 20 characters.
- Marge: [worry about the next seminar] Oh, another seminar tomorrow. I just wish I could connect with those teenagers, since it seems like we'll never have any.
- Homer: Oh, Marge, teens can't control their urges. It's why there's never been a teenage president.
- Marge: Are you saying I'm wasting my time?
- Homer: No. I'm saying you're wasting everyone's time. But it's a church thing, so that's a given.
- Bart: Jig's up, Bob! Return the spear to the Homo erectus. Homo erectus? Where has that word been all my life?
- Sideshow Bob: Now, Bart, I promised I wouldn't hurt you.
- Bart: You did that for me?
- Lisa: More for Mom, but yes.
- Lou: Uh, Chief, we got a report of a disturbance at the Met.
- Chief Wiggum: We got bigger problems, Lou. Horny teens who should be out having bad sex, but instead somebody made them take an abstinence pledge.
- Lenny Leonard: I don't get it. There are taboos about premarital sex in the Middle East, and you don't see those people getting all violent.
- Ned: I told you, the only dancing I like is square.
- Edna Krabappel: Hey, I let you pay for those boys' skipping lessons.
- Marge: If you defeat this madman, I'll release you from your pledge and teach you other fun ways not to get pregnant.
- Shauna Chalmers: I think I might be pregnant already.
- Marge: Well, that's one of them.
