Married to the Blob/Quotes
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- Bart: Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?
- Homer: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.
- Bart: You never watched an episode of Jimmy Kimmel in your life.
- Homer: Yes, I have. After the Oscars, when he forces you.
- Milhouse Van Houten: Oh. Oh. Mr. Book Guy. Can I go first? I was once cast to play Fallout Boy in a movie.
- Comic Book Guy: Tell it to Harlan Ellison.
- Harlan Ellison: I think, you over-privileged kids with your electronic tablets and your talking phones wouldn't know a good piece of fiction if your iPod read it to your ass.
- Milhouse: I wish someone would have come from the future and warned me not to talk to you.
- Harlan Ellison: That's my idea! You're stealing my idea!
- Milo: C-B-G. What's the happs, my man?
- Comic Book Guy: Well, well, well. If it isn't Milo, the owner of my main competitor, Coolsville. Or should I say, "Foolsville."
- Comic Book Guy: Nerds don't get girls.
- Milo: These days they do, man. Comic-Con is now 8% women.
- Homer: Come on, buddy, I gotta get home and climb into bed with my loving wife.
- Comic Book Guy: Oh, right. You have a loving wife.
- Homer: Oh. Marge and I get along perfect. We're like George Burns and John Denver.
- Stan Lee: Come on, nudnik. Ask her out.
- Comic Book Guy: You're interfering.
- Stan Lee: Hey, I'm 90 years old. I can do what I want.
- Comic Book Guy: You have seen me before?
- Kumiko Albertson: Yes. Through window. But you don't see me. You're either looking down in disgust, or up in disdain. I think you have great soul.
- Comic Book Guy: Would you permit me to go in the back, and do a brief inventory? [Walk to his office kindly, close the door then shout "She tolerates me!". He walk out of his room exhale, them give those flowers to Kumiko with Hulk hand] Is it too soon to give you flowers in a Hulk hand?
- Kumiko: [take the flower] It is the perfect time.
- Kumiko: Does anyone tell you that you look like the man on a box of Mr. Sparkle?
- [Homer speaking Japanese excitedly]
- Kumiko: In Japan, drinking your detergent is a popular method of suicide.
- [Homer gasps then asking exclamation question in Japanese]
- Yutaka Nakamura: [Speaking in Japanese accent] Excuse me, sir. I am looking for my daughter. I thought this was her residence, but all I see is a store full of, uh, non-pornographic manga.
- Homer: You're Kumiko's father? Welcome, sensei.
- Yutaka Nakamura: I am not a Kung fu instructor. I am a humble salary man who could kick your ass. Say, has anyone told you, "you look like--"
- Homer: I know. Mr. Sparkle.
- Yutaka Nakamura: I was going to say, like you're going to have a stroke.
- Homer: I get that a lot too.
- Yutaka Nakamura: You can retrieve rants if you did not empty your trash.
- Yutaka Nakamura: Homer, drinking that snake wine and going to White Castle afterwards really opened my eyes.
- Comic Book Guy: Yutaka Nakamura, I have used my hitherto unmentioned chemical engineering degree to get a real job at the Springfield Phosphate Works.
- Lisa: They're giant polluters. But the CEO is a woman. It's very vexing.
- Comic Book Guy: Since I met Kumiko, strangely, comic books no longer seem so important. I will also be selling greeting cards. And, every day, I will give one to Kumiko in commemoration of today with the salutation, "Best... Day... Ever."
