Simpson Safari/Quotes
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- Homer: "Olive oil?" "Asparagus?" If your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people.
- Bart: I need this candy for school. Candy Class.
- Homer: Well, okay, but get five bags in case we eat four on the way home.
- Lisa: My teacher said I need cupcakes. Cupcakes to learn.
- Homer: In the cart.
- Bart: I'm out of wine.
- Homer: Cart.
- Homer: Wait, I changed my mind. Stack it in the order I'll eat it driving home.
- Bag Boy: Sir, please. I've already bagged it by color, and in order of each item's discovery by man.
- Homer: The customer's always right. That's what everybody likes about us. Now mush!
- Agnes Skinner: You tell 'im, Jumbo! And you, start over. I want everything in one bag.
- Squeaky-voiced teen: Yes ma'am.
- Agnes: But I don't want the bag to be heavy.
- Squeaky-voiced teen: I don't think that's possible.
- Agnes: What are you, the Possible Police? Just do it!
- Homer: So hungry... There's gotta be some food left. Sulfur jerky... Cream of toast... Where did we get all this crap?
- Marge: Most of it was sent by relatives who couldn't see very well.
- Homer: And on my free African safari, I want to do everything on this box. I want to shoot a lion in the face, fight Muhammad Ali, and ride in a convertible with two happy zebras.
- Villager: What is it, Ngongo?
- Ngongo: Evil is coming.
- Villager: What shall we do, Ngongo?
- Ngongo: Eh... [panicky] You are Ngongo now.
- Flight attendant: Attention, passengers. Please prepare for our landing in Tanzania. [gets handed a note] I'm sorry, it is now called New Zanzibar. [gets handed another note] Excuse me. It is now called Pepsi Presents New Zanzibar.
- Marge: Who's Muntu?
- Kitenge: He is our leader. He seized power in a bloodless coup. All smotherings.
- Homer: Just like Jimmy Carter.
- Kitenge: This is the earliest known fossil of a human being. It's over two million years old.
- Homer: Pfft, I've got more bones than that guy. If you're trying to impress me, you've failed.
- Kitenge: It's not the number of bones, sir, it's the...
- Homer: You. Have. Failed.
- Homer: Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a giant blender.
- Bart and Lisa: Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet? Are we insane yet?
- Homer: I told you, yes. Now Bart, go to the top of that hill and see if you can spot our hotel.
- Bart: Mt. Kilimanjaro?
- Homer: Go!
- Homer: So, I notice your home smells of feces.
- Joan Bushwell: Yes.
- Homer: And not just monkey feces either.
- Dr. Bushwell: Could we talk about something else?
- Dr. Bushwell: Every day I get up at five-thirty, watch the chimps, eat a quick lunch of roots and water, then more chimp-watching. After dark I come home and think about chimps until it's time for bed.
- Homer: You must be the most boring woman on earth.
- Dr. Bushwell: Possibly, but...
- Homer: I mean I knew scientists wasted their lives, but geez.
