 
Shiver Me Barnacles
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- For other uses of "Shiver Me Barnacles", see Shiver Me Barnacles.
| Shiver Me Barnacles
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Shiver Me Barnacles is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Shiver Me Barnacles content update.
Dialogue[edit]
| After completing The Clam Before the... Other Clams
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"We, the jury, find the defendant, Snake Jailbird, not guilty of all charges and award wrongful imprisonment damages in an amount of no less than $300,000."
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Crime DOES pay!
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Next case on the docket is: "Horatio McCallister vs. The City of Springfield".
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Blue-Haired Lawyer, representing the city of Springfield.
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Horatio McCallister, appearing pro se. Which is latin for "I have no lawyer, arrr!"
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Ok, let's start with your opening statement.
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Aye. But first, I'd like to propose a motion granting me the right to present my statement in the form of a sea shanty.
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I object, on the grounds that sea shanties are very catchy and may unduly influence the judge and jury.
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I'd like to hear the Captain's shanty.
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*hits gavel* Motion granted.
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OHHHHH QUIMBY, YE ROGUISH MUTINEER / WHAT'S WITH YOUR NEW BOARDWALK AND PIER? / YOU SPENT OUR TAXES AND HARD-EARNED DOUGH / NOW MY HOUSEBOAT'S STUCK WITH NO PLACE TO GO
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*takes big breath, then continues*
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THIS BOARDWALK BARNACLE BLOCKS MY PORT OF CALL / SO HORATIO'S GOT NOTHING LEFT TO HAUL / NO SPICES, SILKS, AND FISH TO TRADE / YET CORRUPT QUIMBY'S GETTING PAID
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"Corrupt?" That's slander!
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OH, I'D SET SAIL ON THE SEA / WHERE MY HEART AND SPIRIT'S TRUE AND FREE / I'D CROSS THE HORIZON AND DRINK SOME RUM / BUT MY SHIP'S MAROONED 'CAUSE QUIMBY IS DUMB!
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How much more of this, your honor?
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Two more stanzas.
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I'll allow it.
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HE THINKS HE'S SMART, THINKS HE'S SLY / BUT I'M HERE TO TELL SPRINGFIELD THAT THAT'S A LIE / HE'S GOT A SCHEME, TO BLOCK THE PORT / THAT'S WHY I TOOK HIM STRAIGHT TO COURT
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OH, I'D SET SAIL ON THE SEA / WHERE MY HEART AND SPIRIT'S TRUE AND FREE / I'D CROSS THE HORIZON AND DRINK SOME RUM / BUT MY SHIP'S MAROONED 'CAUSE QUIMBY IS DUMB!
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Good rhyming, Captain McCallister.
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Arrr, much obliged.
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Task: "Collect Slarg Fish" (x95). Task: "Make the Sea Captain Be Outraged". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, Police Station, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Judge Snyder is owned: Task: "Make Judge Snyder Call for Witnesses". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, Police Station, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If the Blue-Haired Lawyer is owned: Task: "Make the Blue-Haired Lawyer Calculate His Fee". The job takes place at the Court House, Town Hall, Police Station, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Let me see if I understand this correctly. Mayor Quimby made an offer for the Barnacle Bay Marina, which was accepted by the city of Barnacle Bay.
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And the materials for this marina, which have already begun arriving in our city, have been placed in an area previously used as a mooring spot for the plaintiff, Sea Captain.
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You got all that from his little sea shanty?
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Arr, it was in the subtext.
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Your honor, this case should be dismissed. Horatio McCallister hasn't paid his "dock tax" in years and his boat isn't even moored in a residential zone.
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Fine, fine. But answer me this: the offer that Mayor Quimby made for the Barnacle Bay Marina. Where did those funds come from?
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I fail to see how that question pertains to this lawsuit, Your Honor.
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Humor me, counsel.
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Er-uh, the money came from city funds that were earmarked for... uh, Urban Development?
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Yeah — you're clearly making that up on the spot...
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*bangs gavel* I'm siding in favor of the plaintiff due to Mayor Quimby once again wasting city funds on something our city doesn't need. Also, he sang a delightful and catchy sea shanty.
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Yarr a true gentleman, yarr honor.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Boardwalk Carousel
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| After completing Pt. 1
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Did you hear about the latest Quimby scandal?
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Wasting precious city funds on that eyesore of a boardwalk?
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He's turning Springfield into a mecca for beach bums and vagrants!
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And for what? A few more cotton candy stands and cheap souvenirs? No thank you!
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But at least we'll have that historic carousel on the boardwalk, right?
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Yes, Marge. A ratty old carousel. Just what every town needs.
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When I was a kid, I had so many great memories on that carousel.
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That old carousel is a spinning-lawsuit waiting to happen.
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Yeah, let's just give our kiddos a rusty ride on a lead-painted horse. That'll make it all worth it.
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Task: "Collect Slarg Fish" (x125). Task: "Make Marge Remember Childhood Memories". The job takes place at the Municipal House of Pancakes, an Eatery, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If any Investorettes are owned: Task: "Make Investorettes Roll Their Eyes". The job takes place at the Municipal House of Pancakes, an Eatery, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Wait, so the carousel isn't enough to change your minds on this?
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Nope.
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Not even close!
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Not a chance.
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There's not one thing they could bring to the Squidport that'd make us approve of this waste of money.
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Good day, lovely ladies. Might you point my crew and I in the direction of City Hall? We're eager to get our hands on those fishing licenses.
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Oh my! It's like a dream come true.
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Luann, you're married!
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Oops, I dropped my ring in the sea. Guess we'll have to fish it out. Let's see how good this man is with his pole.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Barnacle Bay Marina
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| After completing Pt. 2
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Get outta here with that rickety raft, ye land-lubbers!
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¿Pardón?
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Allow me to translate his nautical nonsense.
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Why hello there, Captain! To what do we owe the pleasure of your seafaring displeasure?
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Why are you talking like that Flanders fella?
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Beats me!
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Well, you lily-livered pirates need to hoist anchor and set sail! This here's my docking spot!
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I still don't understand what he's saying.
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The Captain is saying he needs us to scuttle on outta here because he wants to park his floating mansion here.
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But I'm afraid we got ourselves a problem, Captain. You see, the city told us this is where we're supposed to drop anchor and unload our wares.
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Quimby! I'll be sending that Mayor of ours on a one-way trip to his watery demise!
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Task: "Collect Slarg Fish" (x125). Task: "Make the Sea Captain Curse Landlubbers". The job takes place at The Rotting Pelican, Barnacle Bay Marina, Squidport Entrance, or the Houseboat and takes 4 hours. If Skipper Jack is owned: Task: "Make Skipper Jack Commiserate With the Sea Captain". The job takes place at The Rotting Pelican, Barnacle Bay Marina, Squidport Entrance, or the Houseboat and takes 4 hours.
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Gentlemen, we've got a problem. Our latest catch is misshapen and diseased — no restaurant wants to buy it. Not even that Moe guy from Moe's Tavern.
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I'd buy your disgusting fish, I just don't serve food at my bar, that's all...
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This one's got a freakin' third eye!
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Aye, no fancy restaurant will touch those freak-flippers.
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So, we've got a boatload of fish nobody wants?
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Au contraire! I'll take the whole lot off yer hands!
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Excuse me, Captain?
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At the Frying Dutchman, we specialize in mutant seafood. And with you as my local supplier, we'll be raking in the doubloons!
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Hey, Jack, can I go back to Barnacle Bay now?
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Once you're in the game, there's no going back.
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What game? This is a game?
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...oh.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Fausto
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| After completing Pt. 3
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Alright, I've had enough! These tourists and their tchotchke shops have no business being here in the Squidport.
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Time for a change of scenery. I've got a plan to get rid of them and bring the Squidport back to its glory days.
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Buckle up, kids! Our Barnacle Bay adventure awaits!
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The air tastes like Daddy's "drunk tank"!
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Are we sure it's a good idea to take the kids on this field trip? I mean, what if Principal Skinner finds out?
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I get to have Ralph off my hands for the day — I'm not risking that for anything.
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And here we are! The Barnacle Bay Carousel!
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This is it! A real-deal boardwalk carousel from the 1930s, right here in our Squidport!
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Whoa, I've never been on one of these things.
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It's like a Ferris wheel that fell on its side.
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Task: "Collect Slarg Fish" (x95). Task: "Make Marge Lead a Field Trip". The job takes place at the Boardwalk Carousel, Barnacle Bay Marina, Squidport Entrance, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Youngsters Ride the Carousel" (x10). The jobs take place at the Boardwalk Carousel, Barnacle Bay Marina, Squidport Entrance, or a Brown House and take 4 hours. Task: "Make Teachers Do Nothing While Tagging Along" (x5). The jobs take place at the Boardwalk Carousel, Barnacle Bay Marina, Squidport Entrance, or a Brown House and take 4 hours. Task: "Make the Sea Captain Discover the Solution to His Problem". The job takes place at the Boardwalk Carousel, Barnacle Bay Marina, Squidport Entrance, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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All right, children. What did you think of our little adventure today?
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I liked when the seahorses went up and down and all around.
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Yeah, that's a top-of-the-line carousel they got down here. Don't make them like that anymore — faster speed settings, jumpier horses, no safety railing...
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Let's go again!
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And so, it all comes down to the carousel. If it goes, everything goes. Time to find a first mate to help me hatch a plan.
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I could be your first mate! I played Samuel, the pirate king's lieutenant, in "The Pirates Of Penzance!"
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Please don't start singing from it. I believe that you were in it.
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POUR, OH, POUR THE PIRATE SHERRY / FILL, O FILL THE PIRATE GLASS! / AND, TO MAKE US MORE THAN MERRY / LET THE PIRATE BUMPER PASS!
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Hmm, you're definitely under consideration. But I think I'll go to the local tavern to interview some more prospects.
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I appreciate the opportunity!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Boardwalk Tents Bundle
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| After completing Pt. 4
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Wait, you want me to help you destroy the Barnacle Bay Carousel?
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Aye. And I heard ye've done it before, which makes ye the man fer the job.
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I don't know, Marge loves that carousel...
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Do it, Homer. You love burning things down.
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That is true, Devil Me.
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Don't do it, Homer. That carousel brings so many Springfielders joy — including Marge.
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That is also true, Angel Me.
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Have you caught the scurvy? Who are you talking to?!
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Oh, right. Well, I think I'll pass on burning it down. There's nothing really in it for me.
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Look, if you help me, I can promise ye five free "all you can eat" buffets at the Dutchman.
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LET'S DESTROY THIS CAROUSEL!
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| Narrator
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That night, at the carousel...
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Alright, let's do this thing. I've got my gasoline and matches ready. Time to burn this baby down and chow down on all the fried fish I can handle.
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But wait, Homer. Think about Marge. She loves this carousel more than anything in the world. Burning it down will shatter her heart into a million pieces.
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Pfft, who cares? We break her heart every other week. We'll just say it got struck by lightning or something. She'll never suspect a thing.
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Oh man, not you guys again! How am I supposed to make a decision?
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Hey, look! A quarter! The answer to all of life's impossible choices!
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Task: "Collect Slarg Fish" (x145). Task: "Make Homer Flip a Coin to Decide". The job takes place at the Boardwalk Carousel, Barnacle Bay Marina, Squidport Entrance, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Alright, let's make this simple. I'll just flip a coin.
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Heads, I set the carousel ablaze and stuff my face with all the fried fish I can handle. Tails, I go home and drown my sorrows in Duff and pretend like nothing ever happened.
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*flips the coin* C'mon little buddy, decide my fate.
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D'oh! The quarter fell through the boardwalk! Also it landed on its side!
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Ahoy there, matey!
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Wha-? Oh, it's just you. What do you want, Captain?
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The deal's off. I just discovered the greatest thing since the invention of instant ramen!
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Have ye tried this funnel cake? The folks over at the Candy Shoppe really know their stuff.
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Do I still get my five free "all you can eat" buffets?
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Not in this lifetime, my friend.
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Quest reward: 200 and 20 Boardwalk Decorations Bundle
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Currency-earning jobs[edit]
| Task
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Character(s)
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Time
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Location(s)
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Reward
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| Hand-Catch Slarg Fish
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Sea Captain, Quimby, Wiggum, Homer, Marge, Fausto
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4h
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The Rotting Pelican, Barnacle Bay Marina, Squidport Entrance, Visitable Home
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5, 45
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| Purchase Slarg Fish in Bulk
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Skipper Jack
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8, 70
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Behind the Laughter[edit]
The quest name is a reference to the phrase "shiver my timbers."
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