Medal of Homer/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- Sergeant Simpson: Listen up, youngsters! We have received intelligence that the Krauts are due to invade the beloved French township of Ville de Saint Capitulons. Now I don't need to tell you that this town provides the snails that feed the entire French Resistance! If Saint Capitulons falls, the resistance will be so hungry for snails, they'll turn around and fight for the bad guys! Oh, I've seen it happen before! You will parachute out a UB-40 Redwine Flying Fortress over Saint Capitulons, where you'll have to locate me and Private First Class Burns for further instructions. Now good luck. You boys are my favorite Privates, and you know how much I love my Privates. My Privates mean everything to me. Please God don't let anything happen to my Privates!
- Üter Zörker: Take zat, Frenchies!
- Frenchman 1: Sacre bleu! We are, how you say, finished!
- Frenchman 2: Oui, monsieur, may I 'ave another? Ahhhh!
- Homer: Ooh, look at me, I'm France! I'm a scared girl! I don't like being bombed and attacked!
- Sergeant Simpson: Hey! Knock it off! We're here to protect these cheese eating surrender monkeys! That means taking down these white flags before they have a chance to kiss German butt!
- Homer and Bart: Yes, Sergeant Simpson.
- Private Burns: You know, Sarge, while your time travelling son and grandson take down the flags, we could remove the priceless paintings from the village before the Germans can get here. You know, for, safe keeping.
- Sergeant Simpson: You look and sound so evil. But since you're an American, I know that's not possible. We'll get the paintings, you two take care of the flags.
- Bart: What war is this?
- Homer: Don't they teach you anything in school? It's the Civil War, duh.
- Sergeant Simpson: Listen up, my beloved Privates, we had a traitor in our midst! Private Burns has nicked all the French paintings, with all of those luscious naked sweater melons! So listen up: Burns has moved the paintings to his own private aircraft carrier, the U.S.S Reel Crazy! He has the damn thing heavily guarded by his own private cadre of muscular sailors. These men fight for neither God nor country - they fight for love! I'll be leading a sortie of Hellfish warplanes and we'll be providing heat from the air. You'll need to stow yourselves abpard the ship at dock. Once out to sea, disable the ship's defenses while we attack from above. Homer, you'll be on demolition duty, and you'll have just enough C4 explosives to complete your objectives. Aw, who am I kidding. You'll never run out of explosives. If you ran out, you'd never finish the damn thing! Questions? I don't care! Over and out!
- Homer: He he he, he he he! Your moustache tickles!
- Ugolín: As Mayor of this village, I would like to thank you brave American soldiers. You hid our cowardice and brought back the pride of our villiage - our paintings.
- Bart: Dad, can I have some wine? The other kids are doing it!
- Homer: Sorry boy, you'er an American kid. You have to get your booze from an older creep hanging around outside the liquor store.
- Sergeant Simpson: God Bless America!
