Johnson Bryans
Johnson Bryans
| ||||||||||
Character Information
|
Johnson Bryans is a billionaire who attended the Silicon Valley Tech reunion party at Peter Linz's mansion.
History[edit]
When the Simpson family were at Peter Linz's mansion, Homer asked one of the staff members how many of the drinks she was serving would get him drunk. Johnson Bryans overheard Homer and told him that none of the drinks being served at the party had alcohol in them because alcohol was a deadly poison. He then explained to Homer that everyone at the party was dedicated to radical life extension and that pseudoscience would literally solve aging. He also told Homer that there would only be cutting-edge plutoceuticals and lovgevisyrups served at the party. Lisa then tried to convince Bryans to give her money for a college scholarship, and Bryans told her to talk at 2.5 times speed as he only listened to podcasts.
When Marge convinced Homer to give prolonging his life a chance, Homer went to Johnson to see what he had to do to get started. Bryans took him for a blood test, which revealed that Homer had the biomarkers of a 26-year-old. Johnson and the other guests then had Homer teach them his methods to live a long life, which Homer told them were beer, Doritos, and the Godzilla channel. Johnson had fast food and beer flown in, including a whole Krusty Burger restaurant.
Johnson and the other guests struggled to keep up with Homer's diet of fast food and beer. While Homer was giving them a talk about what unhealthy foods to eat, Lisa got annoyed and told them that Homer faked the blood test. Homer then admitted that they couldn't draw blood from him, so he used Bart's blood instead, which showed that Bart's biomarkers were 16 years older than he was. Johnson and the other guests immediately started spitting out food and exercising in an attempt to undo the damage Homer's lifestyle had done to them.
Appearances[edit]
