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Everybody's Hero

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Everybody's Hero
Tapped Out Hero Kirk Sidebar.png
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 37
Update: Food Wars
Required characters: Hero Kirk
Optional characters: Luann, Milhouse, Dr. Hibbert
Internal name(s): EverybodysHero
ID(s): 270007 - 270011


Everybody's Hero is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Food Wars content update. It requires Hero Kirk to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
Kirk - Happy Put that microwave dinner back in the freezer, Luann, 'cause I'm taking you out to dinner! A HOT dinner.
Luann - Sad Fine, I'll get your fake severed thumb so you can plant it in your spaghetti and get us a free meal...
Kirk No need for the bloody thumb tonight, baby.
Luann - Confused Ah, the "choke-on-a-meatball-and-I-revive-you-in-the-car" trick?
Kirk - Happy Better than that! Guess who's got three thumbs and has a new job? This guy!
Luann - Angry Washing dishes after we eat the meal doesn't count as a job, Kirk.
Kirk - Angry Is that what you think of me? That I can't get a respectable job?!
Luann - Angry The fact that you haven't told me yet isn't a good sign.
Kirk - Sad No, it's definitely not a good sign...
If Luann is owned: Task: "Make Luann Demand to Know What Kirk Has Been Doing". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Hero Kirk Reluctantly Show His Work". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
Hero Kirk - Sad Okay, fine. This is it.
Luann - Confused You're one of those idiots that wears a sandwich costume who spins a sign?
Hero Kirk - Annoyed I don't JUST spin a sign, I also dance around...a little.
Luann - Excited Ha! You can't dance.
Hero Kirk - Annoyed I've got moves!
Luann - Confused Are you trying to show them to me now?
Hero Kirk - Sad No! I'm trying to scratch my back through the suit. I think I'm allergic to it.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
Hero Kirk - Sad Look, son, there's a time in every boy's life when he's gotta find out his dad's a loser.
Milhouse - Sad Don't talk like that, Dad, this is just a stepping stone. Maybe if you do really good, you could be one of those Uncle Sam sign spinners outside the tax place!
Hero Kirk - Sad No, they already turned me down. They said I didn't have enough gravitas to play Uncle Sam...
If Milhouse is owned: Task: "Make Milhouse Encourage His Dad". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Hero Kirk Suffer Uncontrollable Itching". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
Milhouse - Scared But seriously, Dad, stop trying to scratch yourself. It looks weird!
Hero Kirk - Pained I know, but I just...can't...hold it in...anymore...
Hero Kirk - Yelling *scratching himself vigorously* AAAAAAAH!
Opal - Surprised What in the world is that sandwich guy doing? I gotta get this on my phone! I've never seen moves like that.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
Jessica Lovejoy - Happy Milhouse, Opal posted a video of your dad doing his crazy hero sandwich dance, and now he's the hottest viral sensation!
Milhouse - Surprised Really? My dad's a viral hit! I'm gonna be able to capitalize on this forever!
Marge - Happy Wow, Kirk! You're really a sensation around town now!
Luann - Excited You know what they say: behind every strong man is a stronger woman!
Hero Kirk - Confused I think the only thing behind me right now is this terrible rash.
Luann - Dreamy A rash of adoring compliments from your wife!
Task: "Make Hero Kirk Strut His Stuff". The job takes 4 hours.
If Luann is owned: Task: "Make Luann Brag About Kirk". The job takes place at a Visitable Home, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Luann - Excited Kirk, honey, come here and lean down.
Hero Kirk - Happy You want a kiss from the biggest celebrity in town?
Luann - Angry What? No. I want to put this Globex hat on you. In your next video, you need to say "Globex: Definitely Not Trying To Take Over the World" while you're dancing.
Hero Kirk Anything for you and an integrated corporate sponsor, babe. Now let's get ready for bed, I've had a long day.
Kirk *takes off hero sandwich costume*
Luann - Surprised Oh my God, what happened to your skin?! Put it back on! Put it back on!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
Dr. Hibbert - Happy Well, well, what brings Springfield's latest social media sensation to my office?
Hero Kirk - Pained It's the costume, Dr. Hibbert. It's giving me a rash and itches like crazy!
Dr. Hibbert I'm sure a simple ointment will clear it right up.
Hero Kirk - Confused Itching the rash is what made me a celebrity. Do you have an ointment that only KINDA clears it up?
If Dr. Hibbert is owned: Task: "Make Dr. Hibbert Be Fascinated by Mutant Rash". The job takes place at Hibbert Family Practice and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Hero Kirk Endure Embarrassing Examination". The job takes place at Hibbert Family Practice and takes 4 hours.
Dr. Hibbert - Sad I've never seen a rash this bad!
Hero Kirk - Pained Uh-oh...
Dr. Hibbert Don't worry. This is actually pretty good.
Hero Kirk - Confused It is?
Dr. Hibbert - Happy Not for you. But this is going to finally get me into the Springfield Journal of Medicine for something other than my golf game.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
Luann - Angry Kirk, you haven't appeared in public in almost two days! At this rate, by tomorrow you'll be yesterday's news.
Luann - Confused What's the problem? You said that lotion Dr. Hibbert gave you works.
Hero Kirk - Sad That is the problem! I don't itch anymore.
Luann - Angry I knew this was too good to be true.
Hero Kirk - Annoyed Relax, Luann. I'll just watch my video and learn the dance. How hard could it be to spontaneously go viral twice?
Task: "Make Hero Kirk Show Off His "Moves"". The job takes 4 hours.
If Luann is owned: Task: "Make Luann Be Embarrassed by Kirk Again". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
Hero Kirk - Sad I'm a failure.
Milhouse It's okay, Dad. Maybe I'll inherit your terrible skin allergies and someday I'll be a viral sensation.
Hero Kirk - Happy We can only hope, son.
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20