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A Very Moist Mystery

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A Very Moist Mystery
Tapped Out Paul Flart Sidebar.png
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 15
Update: Splash and Burn
Required characters: Paul Flart
Optional characters: Wiggum, Sea Captain
Internal name(s): AVeryMoistMystery
ID(s): 258008 - 258012


A Very Moist Mystery is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Splash and Burn content update. It requires Paul Flart to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
Squeaky Voice Attendant With the weekend rush over, and all the "repairs" completed, I guess you can finally relax.
Paul Flart - Confused Did you just put "repairs" in air quotes?
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Sad Our "lawyers" said I'm legally required to.
Paul Flart - Confused Wait, why are you air quoting "lawyers"?
Squeaky Voice Attendant Oh, because no real lawyers want to work with us anymore. So technically our "lawyers" are just me looking stuff up on the internet.
Paul Flart - Happy Well, anyway, if there's nothing going on, we might as well enjoy a few water park perks!
Squeaky Voice Attendant We should check with the "HR Department" first.
Paul Flart Now you're air quoting "HR"? So are you doing that job too?
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Sad No. We have an HR Department.
Task: "Make Paul Flart Enjoy Water Park Freebies". The job takes 4 hours.
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Surprised Mr. Flart, a crime has been committed over by the Ankle Soaker!
Paul Flart - Annoyed Ugh, I've only gotten to go down Mt. Splashmore three hundred times...
Paul Flart I guess water park crime never sleeps.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
Wiggum - Annoyed Flart, get over here! There's been a crime.
Paul Flart - Surprised Why are you — WHOA! *slips and falls*
Wiggum - Guilty Oh yeah, be careful when you walk. That happened to me, too. Luckily, I had Lou to fall on.
Lou - Annoyed And now I have a broken ankle.
Wiggum It's not broken, it's sprained.
Lou - Surprised Anyway, someone stole all of your water park's non-slip mats! WHOOPS! *slips and falls*
Lou - Worried My other ankle!
Paul Flart - Confused If you're already here, Chief, what do you need me for?
Wiggum - Sneaky This isn't my jurisdiction, Flart. I handle land crimes. This is a water park crime, and you're the water park cop.
Paul Flart - Annoyed That's not how that works.
Wiggum - Happy Come on Lou, let's get some ice cream.
Task: "Make Paul Flart Look for Clues". The job takes 4 hours.
If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Eat Free Ice Cream". The job takes place at Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Paul Flart - Surprised I didn't find any clues, Chief. I have no leads!
Wiggum - Proud Where you're going, you don't need leads.
Paul Flart - Confused What does that mean?
Wiggum - Sad I don't know. But it sounded helpful in my head.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
Paul Flart Okay, we've got no leads, no clues, no nothing. But clues are always tricky to find.
Squeaky Voice Attendant Maybe you should take a closer look at the crime scene?
Paul Flart - Confused A closer look? Isn't that what we've been doing?
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Annoyed No! All you've done is ride around the park on your scooter.
Paul Flart - Annoyed Scooting around is part of my process. It helps me think.
Task: "Make Paul Flart Look for Clues". The job takes 4 hours.
If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Eat More Free Ice Cream". The job takes place at Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Wiggum What's your theory on how the crime took place, Flart?
Paul Flart Examining the crime scene again, I would say that...the perpetrator was wet when they executed the heist!
Wiggum - Proud Hmm, wet you say. That narrows the investigation considerably.
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Annoyed But that conclusion is obvious. The non-slip mats were in a pool of water when they were stolen.
Wiggum - Ice Cream Wow, Flart, you really are good!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
Paul Flart - Surprised *picks up a fish scale* Oh, hey, look — an actual clue!
Paul Flart - Happy Obviously the mats were stolen by a fish.
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Annoyed Or...maybe someone who works with or around fish.
Wiggum - Ice Cream Hey, the Sea Captain knows a lot of fish. Maybe he has something to do with it?
Paul Flart - Happy Time to solve a crime!
Task: "Make Paul Flart Question the Sea Captain". The job takes place at the Houseboat, Squidport Entrance, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
If Sea Captain is owned: Task: "Make the Sea Captain Provide a Fishy Alibi". The job takes place at the Houseboat, Squidport Entrance, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Sea Captain - Aghast Why would I want to steal swim mats? What would be me motive?
Paul Flart - Annoyed Does your ship's deck ever get slippery?
Sea Captain 'Tis always slippery.
Paul Flart Well, then there's your motive right there. You stole those mats and put them aboard your ship.
Sea Captain - Annoyed Fine. That actually is a good motive. But you're missin' one important fact: How did I steal them?
Paul Flart - Annoyed You swam off with them!
Sea Captain - Aghast How would I be swimmin' with the mats...when I can't even swim!
Paul Flart - Surprised You can't swim? But you're Sea Captain.
Sea Captain - Annoyed I have a peg leg and I only learned to swim "froggy style"...
Paul Flart But you could have put a fin on your peg leg! Couldn't you?!
Sea Captain - Annoyed Look, I wasn't even at the water park the day of the crime, I was at the Squidport Comedy Barrel doin' their Open Mic Night.
Paul Flart - Confused You do stand-up comedy?
Sea Captain No, I sing comedy sea shanties.
Sea Captain - Singing MY NAME IS HORATIO McCALLISTER COMMANDER OF QUEEN'S FORT GARRISON / WAY, HAUL AWAY, WE'LL HAUL, HORATIO
Sea Captain - Singing BUT MOST CALL ME THE "WEIRD AL" OF SHANTIES AND I WELCOME THAT COMPARISON / WAY, HAUL AWAY, WE'LL HAUL, HORATIO!
Paul Flart - Surprised Wow, you're actually pretty good. Doing the chorus too — respect.
Sea Captain Thanks!
Paul Flart - Annoyed You're still my prime suspect though.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
Paul Flart - Surprised The Sea Captain's alibi checked out?! — WHOA! *slips and falls*
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Happy Oh yeah, the replacement mats were also stolen.
Paul Flart - Annoyed Who is doing this?! We need a lead!
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Annoyed Before you go riding around on your scooter again, there's an actual trail of water leading away from the crime scene.
Paul Flart - Happy Finally — a trail! You're going down, unknown thief I haven't caught yet!
Task: "Make Paul Flart Follow the Trail". The job takes place at Mt. Splashmore Slide and takes 4 hours.
Paul Flart - Surprised The trail leads to...King Snorky?!
Paul Flart - Annoyed I should have guessed! It's always King Snorky!
King Snorky It wasn't me! I swear on my mother's blowhole.
Paul Flart I don't know what that means, but it's very convincing. I believe you didn't do it.
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Annoyed He's holding the mats behind his back!
King Snorky Yeah, okay, you got me.
Paul Flart - Confused Why'd you do it, Snorky?
King Snorky Do you know what these things go for online? As climate change destroys our coast, the sidewalks get slippery, and what's the first thing people need?
Paul Flart A moving truck to move away from the flooded coast?
King Snorky Non-slip mats!
Paul Flart - Confused Really? That seems like a stretch.
King Snorky No, it's the real deal. I'm selling these babies for fifty apiece — and there's thousands of mats at this water park.
Paul Flart I'll look the other way for a fifty-percent cut.
King Snorky Ten percent.
Paul Flart - Happy Deal! I'll take it!
Squeaky Voice Attendant - Annoyed What about my share in all this?
King Snorky Let me ask my other "secret" partner.
Sea Captain Give him five percent.
Paul Flart - Annoyed I knew you had something to do with this.
Sea Captain - Singing HORATIO WAS A CRIMINAL, A TREASURE STEALING MISCREANT / WAY, HAUL AWAY, WE'LL STEAL THE HAUL, HORATIO!
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20