 
A Very Moist Mystery
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| A Very Moist Mystery
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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A Very Moist Mystery is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Splash and Burn content update. It requires Paul Flart to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
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With the weekend rush over, and all the "repairs" completed, I guess you can finally relax.
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Did you just put "repairs" in air quotes?
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Our "lawyers" said I'm legally required to.
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Wait, why are you air quoting "lawyers"?
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Oh, because no real lawyers want to work with us anymore. So technically our "lawyers" are just me looking stuff up on the internet.
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Well, anyway, if there's nothing going on, we might as well enjoy a few water park perks!
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We should check with the "HR Department" first.
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Now you're air quoting "HR"? So are you doing that job too?
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No. We have an HR Department.
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| Task: "Make Paul Flart Enjoy Water Park Freebies". The job takes 4 hours.
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Mr. Flart, a crime has been committed over by the Ankle Soaker!
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Ugh, I've only gotten to go down Mt. Splashmore three hundred times...
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I guess water park crime never sleeps.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
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Flart, get over here! There's been a crime.
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Why are you — WHOA! *slips and falls*
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Oh yeah, be careful when you walk. That happened to me, too. Luckily, I had Lou to fall on.
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And now I have a broken ankle.
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It's not broken, it's sprained.
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Anyway, someone stole all of your water park's non-slip mats! WHOOPS! *slips and falls*
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My other ankle!
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If you're already here, Chief, what do you need me for?
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This isn't my jurisdiction, Flart. I handle land crimes. This is a water park crime, and you're the water park cop.
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That's not how that works.
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Come on Lou, let's get some ice cream.
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Task: "Make Paul Flart Look for Clues". The job takes 4 hours. If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Eat Free Ice Cream". The job takes place at Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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I didn't find any clues, Chief. I have no leads!
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Where you're going, you don't need leads.
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What does that mean?
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I don't know. But it sounded helpful in my head.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
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Okay, we've got no leads, no clues, no nothing. But clues are always tricky to find.
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Maybe you should take a closer look at the crime scene?
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A closer look? Isn't that what we've been doing?
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No! All you've done is ride around the park on your scooter.
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Scooting around is part of my process. It helps me think.
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Task: "Make Paul Flart Look for Clues". The job takes 4 hours. If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Eat More Free Ice Cream". The job takes place at Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance, or the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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What's your theory on how the crime took place, Flart?
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Examining the crime scene again, I would say that...the perpetrator was wet when they executed the heist!
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Hmm, wet you say. That narrows the investigation considerably.
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But that conclusion is obvious. The non-slip mats were in a pool of water when they were stolen.
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Wow, Flart, you really are good!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
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*picks up a fish scale* Oh, hey, look — an actual clue!
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Obviously the mats were stolen by a fish.
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Or...maybe someone who works with or around fish.
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Hey, the Sea Captain knows a lot of fish. Maybe he has something to do with it?
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Time to solve a crime!
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Task: "Make Paul Flart Question the Sea Captain". The job takes place at the Houseboat, Squidport Entrance, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Sea Captain is owned: Task: "Make the Sea Captain Provide a Fishy Alibi". The job takes place at the Houseboat, Squidport Entrance, or Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
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Why would I want to steal swim mats? What would be me motive?
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Does your ship's deck ever get slippery?
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'Tis always slippery.
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Well, then there's your motive right there. You stole those mats and put them aboard your ship.
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Fine. That actually is a good motive. But you're missin' one important fact: How did I steal them?
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You swam off with them!
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How would I be swimmin' with the mats...when I can't even swim!
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You can't swim? But you're Sea Captain.
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I have a peg leg and I only learned to swim "froggy style"...
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But you could have put a fin on your peg leg! Couldn't you?!
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Look, I wasn't even at the water park the day of the crime, I was at the Squidport Comedy Barrel doin' their Open Mic Night.
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You do stand-up comedy?
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No, I sing comedy sea shanties.
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MY NAME IS HORATIO McCALLISTER COMMANDER OF QUEEN'S FORT GARRISON / WAY, HAUL AWAY, WE'LL HAUL, HORATIO
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BUT MOST CALL ME THE "WEIRD AL" OF SHANTIES AND I WELCOME THAT COMPARISON / WAY, HAUL AWAY, WE'LL HAUL, HORATIO!
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Wow, you're actually pretty good. Doing the chorus too — respect.
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Thanks!
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You're still my prime suspect though.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Paul Flart's exclamation mark
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The Sea Captain's alibi checked out?! — WHOA! *slips and falls*
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Oh yeah, the replacement mats were also stolen.
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Who is doing this?! We need a lead!
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Before you go riding around on your scooter again, there's an actual trail of water leading away from the crime scene.
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Finally — a trail! You're going down, unknown thief I haven't caught yet!
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| Task: "Make Paul Flart Follow the Trail". The job takes place at Mt. Splashmore Slide and takes 4 hours.
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The trail leads to...King Snorky?!
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I should have guessed! It's always King Snorky!
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It wasn't me! I swear on my mother's blowhole.
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I don't know what that means, but it's very convincing. I believe you didn't do it.
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He's holding the mats behind his back!
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Yeah, okay, you got me.
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Why'd you do it, Snorky?
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Do you know what these things go for online? As climate change destroys our coast, the sidewalks get slippery, and what's the first thing people need?
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A moving truck to move away from the flooded coast?
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Non-slip mats!
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Really? That seems like a stretch.
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No, it's the real deal. I'm selling these babies for fifty apiece — and there's thousands of mats at this water park.
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I'll look the other way for a fifty-percent cut.
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Ten percent.
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Deal! I'll take it!
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What about my share in all this?
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Let me ask my other "secret" partner.
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Give him five percent.
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I knew you had something to do with this.
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HORATIO WAS A CRIMINAL, A TREASURE STEALING MISCREANT / WAY, HAUL AWAY, WE'LL STEAL THE HAUL, HORATIO!
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
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