Greek to Me
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The contents of this article are based on an issue of Simpsons Comics or another comic series and is considered to be non-canon and may not have actually happened/existed.
The reason behind this decision is: Comic is set in Ancient Greece. |
Greek to Me
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Comic Story information
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Greek to Me is a Simpsons Comics story first printed in Simpsons Comics #70.
Synopsis
- In ancient Greece, Homer tells the stories of Hercules, Hades and Persephone, and Perseus and Medusa.
Plot
In ancient Greece, the Greek poet Homer is getting ready to tell stories to the kids. The kids are annoyed because they don't want to hear the Iliad and the Odyssey again. They threaten to tell everyone that he's not really blind if he doesn't tell them a good story. Homer begins to tell a story, but is interrupted as the kids want a story about the gods. So, Homer begins to tell one.
The Gods in Labor Pains
On Mount Olympus, Hera confronts Zeus about him turning into swans to go to the singles bar. Zeus tells her it was just some harmless flirting, but then his illegitimate son, Hercules, shows up. Hera decides to find Hercules something to do and sends him on twelve labors. Zeus tells him that's not so bad because his father, Cronus, ate him when he was Hercules' age. Hercules then sets off to do his labors.
First, Hercules has to slay the Hydra. When he finds that each time he cuts a head off, two more grow, he comes up with a plan. He asks which one of the heads will get his money when they do kill him. This causes the heads to fight each other and Hercules checks that task off his list. Next up, Hercules has to clean up the Augean Stables. As he's doing so, Mr. Burns and Smithers pass by and mock him. Hercules claims to them that gold has lost all its value and the dung mine he is working on is worth a fortune. Hearing this, Burns gives everything he owns to Hercules in return for the farm. Hercules' next task is to round up a large number of animals. He gives a letter to Hermes to take to the Grecian SPCA telling them that the animals don't have a license and may be rabid. Soon, they gather all the animals.
Hercules returns to Mount Olympus with only ten of the twelve labors completed. Hera is annoyed but relents when Hercules tells her that she looks good in the throne and she should be the one running things. Hera takes over Olympus and everything works out fine, except for her telling everyone to clean their rooms, do their homework, and keep to the curfew.
The Hades You Say
Hades is on trial in Athena's court for kidnapping Persephone. Hades tells the story of what happened to the court. Charon, the ferryman of the dead, found Hades looking depressed. Hades said that he's lonely and Charon suggests that he find a wife. Sisyphus agreed with the idea, so Hades decided to start dating. He saw a pretty woman in the land of the living, so he opened up a chasm underneath her and brought her to the underworld. After this, Persephone attacked Hades and told him that he has a lot to learn about dating. Persephone reluctantly agreed to have dinner with Hades and was horrified by the zombie waiters and the location of the date, next to the River Styx. Persephone tried to leave during the meal, but Hades convinced her to have a dance with him first. During the dance, Hades decided to "slam dance" Persephone, angering her. She told Hades that she would take him to court.
In the present, Athena hears all the evidence and says that she'll be back in five minutes with her verdict. Ralph interviews the jury for their thoughts on the court case. Athena returns and says that it's a cut and dried case of kidnapping, but god-law is in effect and if it wasn't for disguises, shapeshifting, and kidnapping, there would be no god-dating, so she rules in favor of Hades. She then adds that since Persephone ate pomegranates offered by Hades, she would have to pay him back for that by spending six months of every year with Hades. Annoyed at the outcome, Persephone says that every year, people would suffer from bitter cold and snow. When winter comes along, everyone is seen playing in the snow.
Rock On
Otto enters a cave and finds Medusa inside. He asks Medusa if this is the place where someone can get stoned. Medusa tells him that it is and breathes smoke over him, turning him to stone. Elsewhere, Perseus is going to school on his "mini-chariot". On the way, he accidentally crashes into King Polydectes. As punishment, the king sends Perseus to bring him the head of Medusa. Perseus arrives at Medusa's cave and finds her conversing with her sister, Circe. After Circe leaves, Perseus confronts Medusa, who has already seen him coming because of the snakes on her head. Perseus shows Medusa a mirror, but the gorgon reveals that her gaze doesn't turn people into stone, her second-hand smoke does. Perseus turns around and runs, with Medusa giving chase. Perseus lets out his hamsters to try and distract Medusa, and they successfully distract the snakes, causing them to give chase and Medusa to fall over, giving Perseus the opportunity to capture her.
Perseus returns to the king with Medusa and tells the king that Medusa told him that she and Polydectes used to date. Medusa tells Polydectes that she still has feelings for him and Polydectes proposes to her. The day of the wedding comes along and King Polydectes is wheeled out on a board because he's been turned to stone. As Medusa and Polydectes get married, Perseus releases pigeons, which immediately land on Polydectes.
After Homer finishes telling this story, he realizes that all the kids have left. He finds them watching Aesop perform fables to them, with his performances all being sold out. Homer goes to the bar to complain and Zeus, in swan form, tells Moe not to tell Hera that he's there if she calls.
Reprints
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Wikisimpsons has 20 images related to Greek to Me. |
