| Everybody's Hero
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Everybody's Hero is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Food Wars content update. It requires Hero Kirk to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
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Put that microwave dinner back in the freezer, Luann, 'cause I'm taking you out to dinner! A HOT dinner.
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Fine, I'll get your fake severed thumb so you can plant it in your spaghetti and get us a free meal...
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No need for the bloody thumb tonight, baby.
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Ah, the "choke-on-a-meatball-and-I-revive-you-in-the-car" trick?
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Better than that! Guess who's got three thumbs and has a new job? This guy!
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Washing dishes after we eat the meal doesn't count as a job, Kirk.
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Is that what you think of me? That I can't get a respectable job?!
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The fact that you haven't told me yet isn't a good sign.
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No, it's definitely not a good sign...
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If Luann is owned: Task: "Make Luann Demand to Know What Kirk Has Been Doing". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Hero Kirk Reluctantly Show His Work". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
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Okay, fine. This is it.
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You're one of those idiots that wears a sandwich costume who spins a sign?
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I don't JUST spin a sign, I also dance around...a little.
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Ha! You can't dance.
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I've got moves!
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Are you trying to show them to me now?
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No! I'm trying to scratch my back through the suit. I think I'm allergic to it.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
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Look, son, there's a time in every boy's life when he's gotta find out his dad's a loser.
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Don't talk like that, Dad, this is just a stepping stone. Maybe if you do really good, you could be one of those Uncle Sam sign spinners outside the tax place!
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No, they already turned me down. They said I didn't have enough gravitas to play Uncle Sam...
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If Milhouse is owned: Task: "Make Milhouse Encourage His Dad". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Hero Kirk Suffer Uncontrollable Itching". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
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But seriously, Dad, stop trying to scratch yourself. It looks weird!
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I know, but I just...can't...hold it in...anymore...
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*scratching himself vigorously* AAAAAAAH!
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What in the world is that sandwich guy doing? I gotta get this on my phone! I've never seen moves like that.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
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Milhouse, Opal posted a video of your dad doing his crazy hero sandwich dance, and now he's the hottest viral sensation!
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Really? My dad's a viral hit! I'm gonna be able to capitalize on this forever!
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Wow, Kirk! You're really a sensation around town now!
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You know what they say: behind every strong man is a stronger woman!
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I think the only thing behind me right now is this terrible rash.
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A rash of adoring compliments from your wife!
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Task: "Make Hero Kirk Strut His Stuff". The job takes 4 hours.
If Luann is owned: Task: "Make Luann Brag About Kirk". The job takes place at a Visitable Home, Simpson House, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Kirk, honey, come here and lean down.
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You want a kiss from the biggest celebrity in town?
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What? No. I want to put this Globex hat on you. In your next video, you need to say "Globex: Definitely Not Trying To Take Over the World" while you're dancing.
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Anything for you and an integrated corporate sponsor, babe. Now let's get ready for bed, I've had a long day.
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*takes off hero sandwich costume*
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Oh my God, what happened to your skin?! Put it back on! Put it back on!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
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Well, well, what brings Springfield's latest social media sensation to my office?
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It's the costume, Dr. Hibbert. It's giving me a rash and itches like crazy!
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I'm sure a simple ointment will clear it right up.
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Itching the rash is what made me a celebrity. Do you have an ointment that only KINDA clears it up?
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If Dr. Hibbert is owned: Task: "Make Dr. Hibbert Be Fascinated by Mutant Rash". The job takes place at Hibbert Family Practice and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Hero Kirk Endure Embarrassing Examination". The job takes place at Hibbert Family Practice and takes 4 hours.
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I've never seen a rash this bad!
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Uh-oh...
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Don't worry. This is actually pretty good.
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It is?
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Not for you. But this is going to finally get me into the Springfield Journal of Medicine for something other than my golf game.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Kirk's exclamation mark
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Kirk, you haven't appeared in public in almost two days! At this rate, by tomorrow you'll be yesterday's news.
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What's the problem? You said that lotion Dr. Hibbert gave you works.
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That is the problem! I don't itch anymore.
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I knew this was too good to be true.
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Relax, Luann. I'll just watch my video and learn the dance. How hard could it be to spontaneously go viral twice?
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Task: "Make Hero Kirk Show Off His "Moves"". The job takes 4 hours.
If Luann is owned: Task: "Make Luann Be Embarrassed by Kirk Again". The job takes place at the Van Houten House and takes 4 hours.
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I'm a failure.
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It's okay, Dad. Maybe I'll inherit your terrible skin allergies and someday I'll be a viral sensation.
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We can only hope, son.
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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