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A Fat Lot of Good

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A Fat Lot of Good
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 21
Update: Game of Games The Sequel
Required characters: Nelson, Martin, Comic Book Guy
Optional characters: Bart, Milhouse, Sophie Krustofsky, See Currency-earning jobs
Previous quest(s): The Mysterious Gamer
Next quest(s): Watch the Skies

A Fat Lot of Good is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Game of Games The Sequel content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

Between June 28, 2020 and July 16, 2020
Milhouse Guys, I found another one of The Game Master's high scores. It's in Chunky Island.
Bart - Curious Isn't that the adventure game where you play as a kid trying to escape fat camp?
Martin I read that the kids get separated from the camp counselors and have to fend for themselves.
Martin Like that book with the British kids stranded on an island. You know, the one whose name I can't say because it hasn't yet entered public domain.
Bart Nelson, I think you should play Chunky Island.
Nelson - Brave You calling me fat, Simpson?
Bart No...but you're the only one of us who has any experience putting pig heads on spikes.
Nelson - Sneaky Only because it makes them easier to carry home from the butcher shop.
Nelson - Sad It's the only pork my mom can afford.
Task: "Collect Memory Cards" (x175).
Task: "Make Nelson Play Chunky Island". The job takes place at Noise Land Video Arcade, Captain Blip's Zapateria, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Nelson - Angry Gah, this is impossible! Adventure games always have dumb puzzles and dumb hidden secrets and dumb...dumbness.
Sophie Krustofsky There IS a home version of this game... We should go buy some copies and play it ourselves to help figure out the secrets.
Comic Book Guy Toys Were Us is nearby. I just camped out there last night to buy up their first shipment of Pretty Horse Friends series three articulated figures.
Comic Book Guy - Exhausted I got no sleep, had to pee in a Pringles can, and nearly lost a toe to frostbite!
Comic Book Guy - Happy Worth it.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Toys Were Us

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Nelson - Sad I'm getting nowhere with this game. I've got forty-seven inventory items, there's a rabid dog blocking that path, and over on the beach there's some incomprehensible coconut tree puzzle.
Nelson What about you guys? Have you found anything playing your home versions?
Milhouse I found this pulley thing in a tree stump near the salad bar. That MUST be important!
Sophie Krustofsky I combined this cat hair with maple syrup and made a mustache. Do you need a mustache?
Martin - Happy I just sunk a fifty-footer from behind the sand trap!
Bart - Confused Martin, what game are you playing?
Martin - Lying Aren't we all playing Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge?
Task: "Collect Memory Cards" (x125).
Task: "Make Martin Return Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge". The job takes place at Toys Were Us, Noise Land Video Arcade, Captain Blip's Zapateria, or a Brown House and takes 60 minutes.
Task: "Make The Evergreen Terrors Share More Game Secrets" (x3). The jobs take place at Noise Land Video Arcade, Captain Blip's Zapateria, or a Brown House and take 2 hours.
Bart - Annoyed Ugh, my mom wants me to come home. She says I'm wasting my precious summer vacation at the arcade.
Bart - Annoyed And apparently Child Protective Services requires that you "know where your child is".
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Shower Computer

Characters that can do the "Share More Game Secrets" job include:

Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, Sophie Krustofsky

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Nelson - Angry Ugh, none of the kids on this island will do anything I say. How am I gonna get these fatties to work together?
Comic Book Guy - Annoyed There must be some way you can assert your authority over them. Perhaps if you looked more like a leader...
Nelson Uh, well I did find this pirate outfit in a buried treasure chest.
Comic Book Guy Everyone listens to pirates. It's why Johnny Depp can marry any supermodel he wants.
Pirate Nelson - Happy Yar!
Task: "Collect Memory Cards" (x150).
Task: "Make Nelson Roleplay as a Pirate". The job takes place at Noise Land Video Arcade, Captain Blip's Zapateria, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make The Evergreen Terrors Look Up Pirate Lingo to Help" (x3). The jobs take place at Noise Land Video Arcade, Captain Blip's Zapateria, or a Brown House and take 4 hours.
Bart - Determined Okay, now click on that kid with the shirt that's too small and select the dialogue option, "I'll keelhaul the lot of ye if ye don't get to lashin' together a seaworthy vessel!"
Pirate Nelson - Happy Wow, it's working! He's started building the raft! Who knew that maritime-based threats could be so effective?
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Pirate Nelson

Characters that can do the "Look Up Pirate Lingo to Help" job include:

Bart, Milhouse, Martin, Sophie Krustofsky

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Martin - Happy Alright, I had a bit of a late start but I believe that I've caught up to the rest of you in Chunky Island.
Sophie Krustofsky Any insights?
Martin I have created a child utopia, free of adults, where all kids are treated equally and none are made fun of.
Sophie Krustofsky - Annoyed How does that help us? The goal of the game is to get OFF the island!
Martin Oh, there's a speedboat hidden in the skull-shaped cave off the north end of the island. But I choose to stay with my fellow compatriots.
Bart - Curious Martin, you realize Chunky Island is just a simulation, right?
Martin - Surprised So is everything in our world! Haven't you been paying attention?
Bart - Bored *shrugs* Fair enough...
Task: "Collect Memory Cards" (x150).
Task: "Make Martin Show the Others Where the Boat is Hidden". The job takes place at Noise Land Video Arcade, Captain Blip's Zapateria, or a Brown House and takes 30 minutes.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Waterslide Tree and Martin's "Take a Tropical Bath" animated job

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4
Pirate Nelson - Annoyed Yar, ye scurvy dogs! Everyone on the boat before I hang ye from the mizzen!
Bart Wow, Nelson. You've really got a handle on those chunky kids.
Pirate Nelson - Happy *sails off into the sunset, watches the credits roll*
Milhouse - Excited You did it! The Game Master never got this far, so you're now at the top of the leaderboard!
Comic Book Guy - Sad I haven't been this proud of a group of kids since The Goonies.
Nelson I'll just add my name to the leaderboard, right above TGM.
Nelson - Grim B- U- T.
Sophie Krustofsky BUT? But what?
Nelson - Sneaky I only get three letters. Just imagine another T.
Comic Book Guy - Annoyed A hilarious reference to a taboo bodily region!
Comic Book Guy - Happy You kids deserve a break. I'm taking you out for pizza!
Comic Book Guy - Annoyed Note – I am NOT paying for the pizza. My pride has limits!
Task: "Collect Memory Cards" (x125).
Task: "Make Comic Book Guy Take the Kids Out for Pizza". The job takes place at Wall E. Weasel's, Vesuvius Pizza, Zesty's, or a Brown House and takes 2 hours.
Task: "Make The Evergreen Terrors Go Out for Pizza" (x4). The jobs take place at Wall E. Weasel's, Vesuvius Pizza, Zesty's, or a Brown House and take 2 hours.
The Game Master - Sad Heh, heh, heh... They think they're so smart. Well they won't see this coming...
Strawberry - Surprised *yelling from the other room* Babe, you want some pizza rolls?
The Game Master Only if they're from the toaster oven. NOT the microwave!
The Game Master - Sad The Game Master knows what he desires...
The Game Master Now...where was I? *logs into Earthland Realms* *THUNDERCLAP*
Strawberry - Surprised *yelling from the other room* Babe, it sounds like rain! Are the lids on the trash cans?
The Game Master - Annoyed It's not rain, it's just me being ominous!
Quest reward: Cash200 and XP20
Mystery Box Token1

Characters that can do the "Go Out for Pizza" job include:

Bart, Milhouse, Martin, Nelson, Sophie Krustofsky

Currency-earning jobs[edit]

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward
Search Old Consoles for Memory Cards Homer, Marge, Bart. Lisa, Grampa, Moe, Smithers, Mr. Burns 4h Noise Land Video Arcade, Captain Blip's Zapateria, Brown House Memory Cards5, XP45
Ask 90s Kids for Memory Cards Cosine Tangent, Wall E. Weasel, Strawberry Memory Cards8, XP70