The Joy of Sect/Quotes
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< The Joy of Sect
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- Bart: Thanks for lettin' me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, Dad.
- Homer: I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can at any school.
- Jane: We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
- Homer: How much is this free resort weekend?
- Glen: It's free.
- Homer: And when is this weekend?
- Glen: It's this weekend.
- Homer: Uh huh. And how much does it cost?
- Glen: Um, it's free.
- Homer: I see. And when is it?
- Glen: It's this weekend.
- Homer: And what are you charging for this free weekend?
- Marge: But what if they try to talk us into something?
- Homer: Marge, Marge, Marge. Remember when those smooth-talking guys tried to sell me a time-share vacation condo?
- Marge: You bought four of them. Thank God the check bounced.
- Homer: So, I beat the system.
- Lisa: Watch yourself, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type.
- Homer: Yes. I am the highly suggestible type.
- Jane: It certainly is a beautiful day. We should thank the Leader.
- Homer: Who the hell is that? Some kind of leader?
- Glen: Beer is not allowed.
- Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
- Jane: Would you rather have beer or complete and utter contentment?
- Homer: What kind of beer?
- Homer: Wait - I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs was setting them up?
- Glen: What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in there.
- Homer: Well, you see, when I get bored, I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span
- Kent Brockman: Springfield has been overrun by a strange and almost certainly evil sect calling themselves the Movementarians. In exchange for your home and all your money, the Leader of this "way-out" and wrong religion, claims he'll take believers away on his spaceship to the planet Blisstonia. Excuse my editorial laugh. But... [gets news] Ladies and gentlemen, I've just learned of a change in this station's management. Welcome, Movementarians! Continue to improve our lives! I love you, Perfect Leader. And new C.E.O. of K-B-B-O broadcasting!
- Homer: See, Marge? Our lives are so much better now
- Glen: [over P.A.] You two! Stop talking and resume the lima bean harvest!
- Marge: When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.
- Marge: Now, how are we going to get my Homie back?
- Groundskeeper Willie: I'll kidnap him for fifty. De-program him for a hundred. And I'll kill him for five hundred.
- Marge: No, no, no. Just the first two.
- Willie: All right. I'll throw in the killin' for free.
- Marge: All right, already! But do you love the Leader more than having your very own, brand new -- Hoverbikes? What do you have to say about the Leader now? Hunh? Hunh?
- Bart and Lisa: The hell with him! What Leader? He can take a flying leap as far as I'm concerned! Lea-who?
- Marge: And who do you love now?
- Bart and Lisa: Hoverbikes!!
