Gorgeous Grampa/Quotes

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Season 24 Episode Quotes
← 521 "Hardly Kirk-ing"
522
"Gorgeous Grampa"
"Black-Eyed, Please" 523 →


Homer: Hmm. I can't believe you're reading when there's so much great stuff on TV.
Lisa: Hmm, you're right. It is the golden age of well-written, brilliantly-acted TV shows.
Homer: Writing is for bathroom walls, and acting is for getting out of DUIs. The only reason TV exists is for reality shows about white-trash scuzzbags doing subhuman, made-up jobs.

Marge: I think your dad might be gay.
Homer: Oh, that's insane. My dad was married to a woman who left him because he ignored her needs for decades. Ah, my gay dad is gay for gays.

Waylon Smithers: Are you "Wrinkled and Romantic"?
Abe: Huh? What the heck are you talking about, Spectacles?
Waylon Smithers: Oh, I've been hung up on someone for years, but I'm trapped in the friend zone. It's time for me to move on.
Abe: So move on. You're blocking the ducks.
Marge: Don't you want to be happy, Abe? Admit who you are, a wonderful gay man.
Abe: What?! I don't ride sidesaddle! I'm straight as a submarine!

Lisa: Why do you think bad guys are so cool?
Bart: Why do you still have a thing for Nelson?
Lisa: I'm not! That's ridiculous! I just... it's that... he, uh... He's a rebel, and only I can change him!

Marge: I don't care if Bart is a wrestler, a busboy, or even a stoplight squeegee man, as long as he's a nice person. But if he gets too much attention for acting bad, he might turn bad on the inside.
Abe: Eh, that's women-talk. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to comb out my curls! One... two... three...
Season 24 Quotes
Moonshine River • Treehouse of Horror XXIII • Adventures in Baby-Getting • Gone Abie Gone • Penny-Wiseguys • A Tree Grows in Springfield • The Day the Earth Stood Cool • To Cur, with Love • Homer Goes to Prep School • A Test Before Trying • The Changing of the Guardian • Love Is a Many-Splintered Thing • Hardly Kirk-ing • Gorgeous Grampa • Black-Eyed, Please • Dark Knight Court • What Animated Women Want • Pulpit Friction • Whiskey Business • The Fabulous Faker Boy • The Saga of Carl • Dangers on a Train