Bye, Bye, Nerdie/Quotes
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< Bye, Bye, Nerdie
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- Marge: Ah! Homer, you're still here? You should have left for work an hour ago.
- Homer: They said if I come in late for work again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
- Marge: Stop! Stoooop!
- Otto: Oh, you wanna drag?
- Marge: (gasps) Hrmmm. I'm not racing! It's me, Marge Simpson!
- Otto: No, you eat my dust!
- Terri: Red hair?
- Sherri: What's she trying to pull?
- Janey: Those shoes look Canadian.
- Boy with orthodontic headgear: She'll never fit in.
- Lisa: Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
- Bart: Yeah, somebody should. (looking out of window) One-hour dry cleaner? Man, that's fast.
- Sales lady: Your baby is dead! (Marge and Homer gasp) That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of death-traps lurking in the average American home. (she hands Marge a business card)
- Marge: "Springfield Baby-Proofing"?
- Homer: You... you really scared us!
- Sales lady: Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby Maggie Simpson, is dead! (Marge and Homer gasp) Dead tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate.
- (the sales lady puts on a baby bonnet)
- Sales lady: Now, pretend I'm a baby.
- (she starts to crawl around the kitchen floor, making baby noises)
- Sales lady: Goo, goo. Me wike to expwore!
- Homer: (to Marge) That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
- Marge: Homer, don't be... wow, that is huge!
- Sales lady: Okay, with the window bars, toilet latches, dingo alarm and grapefruit squirt shield, your total cost would be... wow, I'm rich!
- Marge: Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
- Lisa: Hmm. Well, lots of people like jazz fusion. (she pulls out her sax and demonstrates)
- Marge: Okay, that's in the maybe file. What if you two bond over your Malibu Stacy dolls?
- Lisa: They're not dolls, they're aspiration figures.
- Homer: That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare Maggie away. (he begins to draw)
- Marge: She's not afraid of bunnies.
- Homer: (ominously) She will be.
- Homer: Now, do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
- Marge: I'm the one who told you that!
- Homer: Yeah, but this is me talkin'. Look! I already encased the phone in concrete.
- Marge: How are you supposed to dial?
- Homer: Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
- Marge: Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
- Homer: Baby could order poison!
- Lisa: Would you bullies be interested in some body guard work?
- Nelson: Oh, this is so funny. We were just talking about moving into protection.
- Dolph: We're offering a recess and lunch package that's very affordable.
- Nelson: Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch.
- Dolph: And sometimes we fall in love.
- (the bullies sigh)
- Lisa: Wow, there's so much I don't understand about bullying.
- Nelson: Yeah, there's a lot of history there. Did you know is predates agriculture?
- Lisa: I just don't understand Francine's motivation. Why does she only go after the smart ones?
- Nelson: That's like asking the square root of a million... no one will ever know.
- Lisa: Willie, I need to see the school security tapes.
- Willie: Security tapes? There's no security tapes!
- Lisa: (pointing at a camera) It's hard to miss the cameras.
- Willie: Aye. Willie's a stinkin' liar.
- Lisa: Why does the school need to watch us all the time?
- Willie: School?
