Difference between revisions of "The Joy of Sect/Quotes"
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{{TabQ|gags=yes}} | {{TabQ|gags=yes}} | ||
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart Carny|Das Bus}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Bart Carny|Das Bus}} | ||
| − | :['' | + | |
| − | {{qf|Bart | + | :[''Homer and Bart arrive at the [[Springfield International Airport]].''] |
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Thanks for letting me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, dad! |
| + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can in any school. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[ | + | :''[Homer and Bart continue their walk through the airport. They pass some religious people.]'' |
{{qf|Hare Krishna}} Have you heard of Krishna Consciousness? | {{qf|Hare Krishna}} Have you heard of Krishna Consciousness? | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|Homer }} This, Bart, is a crazy man! |
| − | :''[ | + | :''[They move on.]'' |
| − | {{qf|Christian}} Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. | + | {{qf|[[Scott Christian]]}} Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. |
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[sarcastic]'' Right, that'll work. |
| − | :''[ | + | :''[They move on.]'' |
{{qf|Woman}} A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, [[Blisstonia]]. | {{qf|Woman}} A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, [[Blisstonia]]. | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|Homer}} Hmmm, makes sense! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :[Hans Moleman enters "[[Just Crichton and King Bookstore]]".] |
| − | {{qf|Hans Moleman}} Do you have anything by Robert | + | {{qf|[[Hans Moleman]]}} Do you have anything by {{w|Robert Ludlum}}? |
| − | {{qf|Clerk}} ''[ | + | {{qf|Clerk}} ''[sinister]'' Get out. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|Homer}} Homer no function beer well without. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|Homer}} Out of my way, Jerk Ass! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Bart | + | {{qf|Bart}} Nobody can brainwash Bart Simpson. Nothing that I can't handle. |
| − | :''[ | + | :''[Movementarian pulls out a briefcase labeled "Lil' Bastard Brainwash" and Bart enters a room. He reappears a few seconds later.]'' |
| − | {{qf|Bart | + | {{qf|Bart}} I love [[The Leader]]. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|[[Marge | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over. |
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Sect Mover}} Your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years, then something might open up in a double. | {{qf|Sect Mover}} Your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years, then something might open up in a double. | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|Homer}} Why even unpack? |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|Homer}} Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|[[Lisa | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed? |
{{qf|Homer Simpson}} I have not been brainwashed! Kill the girl. | {{qf|Homer Simpson}} I have not been brainwashed! Kill the girl. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Lisa | + | {{qf|Lisa}} Watch yourself, Dad - you're the highly suggestible type. |
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|Homer}} Yes, I am the highly suggestible type. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Bart | + | {{qf|Bart}} Church, cult, cult, church. So we'll get bored someplace else every Sunday. Does this really change our everyday lives? |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[ | + | :''[Lovejoy begins to spill gasoline all over the church.]'' |
{{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} I never thought I'd have to do ''this'' again. | {{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} I never thought I'd have to do ''this'' again. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} This new so-called religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate. | {{qf|Reverend Lovejoy}} This new so-called religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[ | + | :''[The Leader drives past in a Rolls-Royce.]'' |
| − | {{qf|Lisa | + | {{qf|Lisa}} We toil in the fields and he drives around in a Rolls-Royce? |
| − | {{qf|Homer | + | {{qf|Homer}} Yes, it would be nice if he'd buy American, but what are you going to do? |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Lisa | + | {{qf|Lisa}} It's great that we can all think for ourselves again. |
| − | :''[ | + | :''[Family returns to watching TV.]'' |
{{qf|[[FOX]] Announcer}} You are watching FOX. | {{qf|[[FOX]] Announcer}} You are watching FOX. | ||
{{qf|Family}} ''[Robotically]'' We are watching FOX. | {{qf|Family}} ''[Robotically]'' We are watching FOX. | ||
| − | |||
| − | |||
{{Season 9|Q}} | {{Season 9|Q}} | ||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Joy of Sect/Quotes}} | {{DEFAULTSORT:Joy of Sect/Quotes}} | ||
Revision as of 15:23, December 30, 2018
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- [Homer and Bart arrive at the Springfield International Airport.]
- Bart: Thanks for letting me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, dad!
- Homer: I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can in any school.
- [Homer and Bart continue their walk through the airport. They pass some religious people.]
- Hare Krishna: Have you heard of Krishna Consciousness?
- Homer : This, Bart, is a crazy man!
- [They move on.]
- Scott Christian: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
- Homer: [sarcastic] Right, that'll work.
- [They move on.]
- Woman: A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia.
- Homer: Hmmm, makes sense!
- [Hans Moleman enters "Just Crichton and King Bookstore".]
- Hans Moleman: Do you have anything by Robert Ludlum?
- Clerk: [sinister] Get out.
- Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
- Homer: Out of my way, Jerk Ass!
- Bart: Nobody can brainwash Bart Simpson. Nothing that I can't handle.
- [Movementarian pulls out a briefcase labeled "Lil' Bastard Brainwash" and Bart enters a room. He reappears a few seconds later.]
- Bart: I love The Leader.
- Marge: When we got married, you promised me my harvesting days were over.
- Sect Mover: Your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years, then something might open up in a double.
- Homer: Why even unpack?
- Homer: Marge, when I join an underground cult I expect a little support from my family.
- Lisa: Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed?
- Homer Simpson: I have not been brainwashed! Kill the girl.
- Lisa: Watch yourself, Dad - you're the highly suggestible type.
- Homer: Yes, I am the highly suggestible type.
- Bart: Church, cult, cult, church. So we'll get bored someplace else every Sunday. Does this really change our everyday lives?
- [Lovejoy begins to spill gasoline all over the church.]
- Reverend Lovejoy: I never thought I'd have to do this again.
- Reverend Lovejoy: This new so-called religion is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants designed to take away the money of fools. Now let's say the Lord's Prayer 40 times, but first let's pass the collection plate.
- [The Leader drives past in a Rolls-Royce.]
- Lisa: We toil in the fields and he drives around in a Rolls-Royce?
- Homer: Yes, it would be nice if he'd buy American, but what are you going to do?
- Lisa: It's great that we can all think for ourselves again.
- [Family returns to watching TV.]
- FOX Announcer: You are watching FOX.
- Family: [Robotically] We are watching FOX.
