Difference between revisions of "Bye, Bye, Nerdie/Quotes"

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Hungry, Hungry Homer|Simpson Safari}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Hungry, Hungry Homer|Simpson Safari}}
  
−
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Ah! Homer, you're still here? You should have left for work an hour ago.
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[horrified sound]'' Homer, you're still here? You should've left for work an hour ago!
−
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} They said if I come in late for work again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} They said if I come in late again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Marge}} ''[to Bart and Lisa]'' And kids you're gonna miss you [[school bus]]. ''[looks at the window and gasps the school bus is only two blocks]'' It's only two blocks away!
+
{{qf|Marge}} I did it! I caught the school bus. Now hurry up and get on.
−
:''[Marge grabs Bart and Lisa and brushes them both their teeth.]''
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} But Mom, the school's right here.
−
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} We're gonna spit.
+
{{qf|Marge}} I won. Don't take that away from me.
−
{{qf|Marge}} You can spit on the bus. ''[changes their pajamas into their outfits while going down stairs Lisa is wearing Bart's clothes and Bart is wearing Lisa's clothes]''
 
−
{{qf|Bart}} Uh, mom? ''[holding Lisa's skirt]''
 
−
{{qf|Marge}} ''[to Bart]'' Not now Lisa. ''[grabs them both]''
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Marge}} Stop! Stop!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
−
{{qf|[[Otto]]}} Oh, you wanna drag?
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Yeah, somebody should. One-hour dry cleaner. Man, that's fast.
−
{{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' Hrmmm. I'm not racing! It's me, Marge Simpson!
 
−
{{qf|Otto}} No, you eat my dust!
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Terri]]}} Red hair?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Kids gone?
−
{{qf|[[Sherri]]}} What's she trying to pull?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Yep. It's great to have some time just to ourselves, huh?
−
{{qf|[[Janey]]}} Those shoes look [[Canada|Canadian]].
+
{{qf|Homer}} You read my mind. Sooo... This coffee's good, huh?
−
{{qf|Boy with orthodontic headgear}} She'll never fit in.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Yeah. The uh... the milk really takes the edge off.
−
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
+
{{qf|Homer}} You know, I think our marriage is...
−
{{qf|Bart}} Yeah, somebody should... ''[looking out of window]'' One-hour dry cleaner? Man, that's fast.
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Sales lady]]}} ''[as door is be-ing opened]'' Your baby is dead... ''[Marge and Homer gasp]'' ...that's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of death-traps lurking in the average American home. ''[she hands Marge a business card]''
+
{{qf|[[Sales lady]]}} Your baby is dead.
−
{{qf|Marge}} '[[Springfield Baby-Proofing]]'?
+
:''[Homer and Marge scream]''
−
{{qf|Homer}} You... you really scared us!
+
{{qf|Sales lady}} That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of deathtraps lurking in the average American home.
−
{{qf|Sales lady}} Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby [[Maggie Simpson]], is dead... ''[Marge and Homer gasp again]'' ...tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate.
+
{{qf|Marge}} ''[reading]'' "[[Springfield Baby-Proofing]]"?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} You...you really scared us.
 +
{{qf|Sales lady}} Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead!
 +
:''[Homer and Marge scream]''
 +
{{qf|Sales lady}} Dead tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate. Let's start in the kitchen.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[The sales lady puts on a baby bonnet.]''
+
{{qf|Sales lady}} Now, pretend I'm a baby. ''[baby voice]'' Goo goo. Me wike to expwore.
−
{{qf|Sales lady}} Now, pretend I'm a baby. ''[she starts to crawl around the kitchen floor, making baby noises]'' Goo, goo. Me wike to expwore!
+
{{qf|Homer}} That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
−
{{qf|Homer}} ''[to Marge]'' That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Homer! Don't be... Wow, that is huge.
−
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, don't be... wow, that is huge!
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Sales lady}} Okay, with the window bars, toilet latches, dingo alarm and grapefruit squirt shield, your total cost would be... wow, I'm rich!
+
{{qf|Homer}} This is such an eye-opener. I always pictured the kids dying in the living room.
 
----
 
----
 
{{qf|Marge}} Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
 
{{qf|Marge}} Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Hmm. Well, lots of people like jazz fusion. ''[she pulls out her sax and demonstrates]''
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Well, lots of people like jazz fusion... ''[plays jazz music]''
−
{{qf|Marge}} Okay, that's in the maybe file. What if you two bond over your [[Malibu Stacy]] dolls?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Okay, that's in the "maybe" file.
−
{{qf|Lisa}} They're not dolls, they're aspiration figures.
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Homer}} That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare [[Maggie]] away. ''[he begins to draw]''
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Milhouse? She got you, too?
−
{{qf|Marge}} She's not afraid of bunnies.
+
{{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} Yeah. But it's not so bad, I'm standin' on Ralph.
−
{{qf|Homer}} ''[ominously]'' She ''will'' be.
+
{{qf|[[Ralph Wiggum]]}} We're a totem pole. ''[chanting]'' Hiya, hiya, hoya, hiya!
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Homer}} Now, do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Now do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
−
{{qf|Marge}} I'm the one who told you that!
+
{{qf|Marge}} I'm the one who told you that.
−
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, but this is me talkin'. Look! I already encased the phone in concrete.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, but this is me talking.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Look, I already encased the telephone in concrete.
 
{{qf|Marge}} How are you supposed to dial?
 
{{qf|Marge}} How are you supposed to dial?
 
{{qf|Homer}} Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
 
{{qf|Homer}} Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
 
{{qf|Marge}} Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
 
{{qf|Marge}} Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
−
{{qf|Homer}} Baby could order poison!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Baby could order poison.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, that's ridiculous.
 +
:''[Homer dials]''
 +
{{qf|Poison Delivery Service}} Poison Delivery Service. A gift-basket of poisons is on its way.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} ''[ashamed]'' I'm a horrible mother.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Of course you are.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Would you bullies be interested in some body guard work?
+
{{qf|[[Nelson Muntz]]}} Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself? Huh? Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself?
−
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Oh, this is so funny. We were just talking about moving into protection.
+
{{qf|[[Martin Prince]]}} Your very question is faulty!
−
{{qf|[[Dolph]]}} We're offering a recess and lunch package that's very affordable.
+
{{qf|[[Jimbo Jones]]}} You're faulty!
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Nelson}} Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch.
+
{{qf|Nelson}} She?! Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch...
−
{{qf|Dolph}} And sometimes we fall in love.
+
{{qf|[[Dolph Shapiro]]}} And sometimes we fall in love...
−
:''[The bullies sigh.]''
+
:''[bullies wistfully sigh]''
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Wow, there's so much I don't understand about bullying.
 
−
{{qf|Nelson}} Yeah, there's a lot of history there. Did you know is predates agriculture?
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Lisa}} I just don't understand [[Francine]]'s motivation. Why does she only go after the smart ones?
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Come on, people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
−
{{qf|Nelson}} That's like asking the square root of a million... No one will ever know.
+
{{qf|Martin}} I'm not mastering another stair until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
−
----
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Willie, I need to see the school security tapes.
 
−
{{qf|[[Willie]]}} Security tapes? There's no security tapes!
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[pointing at a camera]'' It's hard to miss the cameras.
 
−
{{qf|Willie}} Aye. Willie's a stinkin' liar.
 
−
----
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Why does the school need to watch us all the time?
 
−
{{qf|Willie}} School?
 
−
----
 
−
:''[[[Milhouse]], Martin and [[Database]], all shirtless, are exercising on StairMasters.]''
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Come on people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
 
−
{{qf|[[Martin]]}} I'm not mastering another step until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
 
 
{{qf|Lisa}} I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
 
{{qf|Lisa}} I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
 
{{qf|Martin}} Then I shall drip like a pot roast.
 
{{qf|Martin}} Then I shall drip like a pot roast.
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Excellent. Now don't mind the squeegee. ''[she scrapes sweat off of Martin's body]''
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Thank you, Drederick Tatum. That was truly a K.O. - Knockout Oration. Heh.
 
−
{{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} ''[flirting]'' Need a ride home?
 
−
{{qf|[[Drederick Tatum]]}} You really don't want that. Trust me.
 
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
−
{{qf|Drederick Tatum}} No, not at all. Swab away.
+
{{qf|[[Drederick Tatum]]}} No, not at all. Swab away. Whoa, whoa, no one mentioned a beaker.
−
:''[Lisa pulls out a beaker and starts pouring something onto the rag.]''
 
−
{{qf|Drederick}} Whoa, whoa! Nobody mentioned a beaker.
 
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Please? It's for science.
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Please? It's for science.
−
{{qf|Drederick}} Oh, for science! In that case, proceed.
+
{{qf|Drederick Tatum}} Oh for science. In that case, proceed.
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Scientist}} The Problem? UFOs! ''[holds up a fake UFO on a string]'' The solution? This! ''[cuts string]''
+
{{qf|Homer}} Babies of Springfield! We need your help! Please! Skin your knees! Put dice up your nose! Let cats sleep on your face!
−
{{qf|Marge}} That's quite an act to follow, Lisa.
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[stepping onto stage]'' I know, and the crowd is so distinguished. The inventor of the walkie-talkie is out there.
 
−
{{qf|Marge}} ''[stepping after Lisa]'' Where?
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} Third row, near the aisle.
 
−
{{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' Ooh, you're right. And that's not his wife.
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Lisa}} But why do the bullies prey on the brainy? Is it jealousy? ''[the scientists murmur assent]'' No! The reason is chemical. ''[the scientists murmur disagreement]''
+
{{qf|[[Professor Frink]]}} Scientists... Scientists, please... Looking for some order... some order please... with the eyes forward and the hands neatly... folded. And the pain. There'll be pain. Hmmm. Pi is exactly three!
−
{{qf|Male researcher}} Tha-that's impossible! Chemicals are our friends.
 
−
{{qf|Dr. [[C. Everett Koop]]}} She's a witch!
 
 
----
 
----
−
{{qf|Lisa}} I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork and four-eyes. I call is '[[Poindextrose]]'.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork, and four-eyes. I call it "[[Poindextrose]]".
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Woo hoo! Simpsons rule! Sorry.
 
----
 
----
−
:''[When Lisa shows off her Bully repellent.]''
 
−
{{qf|Scientist}} The little girl's invented some kind of bully repellent!
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[holding up an atomizer]'' Actually, it's just ordinary salad dressing.
 
−
{{qf|Marge}} So that's where that went.
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} The pungent vinegar and tangy Roquefort blocked the smell receptors, rendering the bully harmless.
 
 
{{qf|Homer}} So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
 
{{qf|Homer}} So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
 
{{qf|Lisa}} No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
 
{{qf|Lisa}} No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
 
{{qf|Homer}} Just to get some attention.
 
{{qf|Homer}} Just to get some attention.
−
----
 
−
:''[Lisa notices [[Francine]] wearing a nose clip.]
 
−
{{qf|Lisa}} That time she looked right at me and didn't touch me. Hmm. ''[gasps]'' Of course. The nose clip. Hey, Willie.I think I'm onto something. Check this out. ''[Francine enters the room and slowly approaches her]'' Not talking, eh, Willie? Just listen then. I think I figured out what sets off that big ape Francine. Willie? Willie? ''[grabs Lisa]'' Whoa! ''[Francine punches Lisa in the stomach and face and she is crying out and faints and Willie gives a thumbs up at the camera]''
 
  
 
{{Season 12|Q}}
 
{{Season 12|Q}}

Latest revision as of 17:37, May 21, 2026


Season 12 Episode Quotes
← 263 "Hungry, Hungry Homer"
264
"Bye, Bye, Nerdie"
"Simpson Safari" 265 →


Marge: [horrified sound] Homer, you're still here? You should've left for work an hour ago!
Homer: They said if I come in late again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
Marge: I did it! I caught the school bus. Now hurry up and get on.
Lisa: But Mom, the school's right here.
Marge: I won. Don't take that away from me.
Lisa: Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
Bart: Yeah, somebody should. One-hour dry cleaner. Man, that's fast.
Homer: Kids gone?
Marge: Yep. It's great to have some time just to ourselves, huh?
Homer: You read my mind. Sooo... This coffee's good, huh?
Marge: Yeah. The uh... the milk really takes the edge off.
Homer: You know, I think our marriage is...
Sales lady: Your baby is dead.
[Homer and Marge scream]
Sales lady: That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of deathtraps lurking in the average American home.
Marge: [reading] "Springfield Baby-Proofing"?
Homer: You...you really scared us.
Sales lady: Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead!
[Homer and Marge scream]
Sales lady: Dead tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate. Let's start in the kitchen.
Sales lady: Now, pretend I'm a baby. [baby voice] Goo goo. Me wike to expwore.
Homer: That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
Marge: Homer! Don't be... Wow, that is huge.
Homer: This is such an eye-opener. I always pictured the kids dying in the living room.
Marge: Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
Lisa: Well, lots of people like jazz fusion... [plays jazz music]
Marge: Okay, that's in the "maybe" file.
Lisa: Milhouse? She got you, too?
Milhouse Van Houten: Yeah. But it's not so bad, I'm standin' on Ralph.
Ralph Wiggum: We're a totem pole. [chanting] Hiya, hiya, hoya, hiya!
Homer: Now do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
Marge: I'm the one who told you that.
Homer: Yeah, but this is me talking.
Homer: Look, I already encased the telephone in concrete.
Marge: How are you supposed to dial?
Homer: Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
Marge: Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
Homer: Baby could order poison.
Marge: Oh, that's ridiculous.
[Homer dials]
Poison Delivery Service: Poison Delivery Service. A gift-basket of poisons is on its way.
Marge: [ashamed] I'm a horrible mother.
Homer: Of course you are.
Nelson Muntz: Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself? Huh? Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself?
Martin Prince: Your very question is faulty!
Jimbo Jones: You're faulty!
Nelson: She?! Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch...
Dolph Shapiro: And sometimes we fall in love...
[bullies wistfully sigh]
Lisa: Come on, people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
Martin: I'm not mastering another stair until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
Lisa: I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
Martin: Then I shall drip like a pot roast.
Lisa: Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
Drederick Tatum: No, not at all. Swab away. Whoa, whoa, no one mentioned a beaker.
Lisa: Please? It's for science.
Drederick Tatum: Oh for science. In that case, proceed.
Homer: Babies of Springfield! We need your help! Please! Skin your knees! Put dice up your nose! Let cats sleep on your face!
Professor Frink: Scientists... Scientists, please... Looking for some order... some order please... with the eyes forward and the hands neatly... folded. And the pain. There'll be pain. Hmmm. Pi is exactly three!
Lisa: I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork, and four-eyes. I call it "Poindextrose".
Homer: Woo hoo! Simpsons rule! Sorry.
Homer: So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
Lisa: No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
Homer: Just to get some attention.
Season 12 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XI • A Tale of Two Springfields • Insane Clown Poppy • Lisa the Tree Hugger • Homer vs. Dignity • The Computer Wore Menace Shoes • The Great Money Caper • Skinner's Sense of Snow • HOMЯ • Pokey Mom • Worst Episode Ever • Tennis the Menace • Day of the Jackanapes • New Kids on the Blecch • Hungry, Hungry Homer • Bye, Bye, Nerdie • Simpson Safari • Trilogy of Error • I'm Goin' to Praiseland • Children of a Lesser Clod • Simpsons Tall Tales
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