Difference between revisions of "The Way We Was/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextCre|One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish|Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment}} | {{EpisodePrevNextCre|One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish|Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment}} | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Do you two have to sit so close to the TV? Back up, or it'll hurt your eyes. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} It will not. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[makes a fist]'' Yes, it will. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Hey, what gives? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Dad! Do something! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Alright, alright. Time for Dr. TV to perform a little surgery! ''[bangs on the TV and the picture gets worse]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Looks like you lost the patient, Doc. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[fiddles with the back of the television set]'' Is that better? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart and Lisa}} NO!!! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} How's this? ''[the picture on the television gets worse]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart and Lisa}} ''[screams]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Okay, everybody remain calm. ''[gives the TV a big whack; the picture disappears]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart and Lisa}} ''[screams louder]'' | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Hey everybody, If you look real close, you can kinda make him out! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Hey yeah… yeah! I think I can! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} I think this is sick… they're staring at a dot! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} She's right! She's right! Oh I miss TV, dear God! Just give me one channel. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} I'm livin' it, but I ain't lovin' it. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Barney]]}} Hey, Homer, you're late for English! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Barney}} ''[school bell rings]'' Oh no, we're late for wood shop! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} But... we're early for lunch! Let's go grab a burger. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Barney}} Boy, you never stop eating and you never gain a pound. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} It's my metabomolism. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} The first step to liberation is to free ourselves from these male-imposed shackles! ''[lights a bra; it burns up]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Kim]]}} I didn't think it would burn so fast. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Mm, I guess it's the tissue paper inside. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Barney}} Hey, Estelle? Will you go to the prom with me? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Estelle]]}} I wouldn't go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Barney}} Oh, shot down again. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} So, uh, what are you in for? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} I'm a political prisoner. Last time I ever take a stand... | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Well, I'm here for being me. Every day, I show up, act like me, and they slap me in here. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Teacher}} Simpson, be quiet! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I haven't seen you in school before. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Teacher}} Okay, Simpson, | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} What? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Teacher}} You just bought yourself another day of detention. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Maybe we should get together sometime. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Teacher}} Two days! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} I'm sorry, I don't even know your name. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I'm Homer | |
| − | + | {{qf|Teacher}} Three days! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} J. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Teacher}} Four days! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Simpson. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Teacher}} Five days! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} It was worth it! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Teacher}} Six days! Okay, Simpson, to the back of the room! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Hi, I'm Homer Simpson, I need some guidance, Counselor. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Mr. McIntyre]]}} Do you have any plans for after graduation? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} My name's Homer Simpson, I'd like to sign up for something. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Mrs. Bloomenstein]]}} Well, we have an opening on the debate team. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Debate, like, arguing? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Mrs. Bloomenstein}} Yes. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I'll take THAT, you DINGPOT! Just warming up, Mrs. Blumenstein. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Mrs. Bloomenstein}} This year's topic is "Resolved: The national speed limit should be lowered to 55 miles per hour." | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} 55? That's ridiculous! Sure, it'll save a few lives, but millions will be late! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Mrs. Bloomenstein}} Homer, would you like to present your rebuttal? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} With pleasure. (Everyone gasps as Homer moons the class.) | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | : | + | :''[Principal Dondelinger catches Homer and Barney smoking in the bathroom.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Principal Dondelinger]]}} Well, well, well. If it isn't Homer Simpson and Barney Gumble, Springfield's answer to "Cheech and Chong." Allow me, gentlemen. ''[grabs their cigarettes and tosses them in the toilet.]'' You just bought yourselves three days of detention. You know where and when. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer and Barney}} 3:00, old building, room 106. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Barney}} Wanna go to the prom with me? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Kim}} Good God! No! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Barney}} Well put. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Great story. ''[bangs TV]'' Positively spellbinding. ''[bangs TV]'' Work, damn you. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Bart! Pay attention, you may be telling this to your own son if something breaks. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Maybe I'll wear my hair ... up. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Get off the edge of your seat. They got married, had kids, and bought a cheap TV, okay? | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Mrs. Bouvier]]}} If you pinch your cheeks, they'll glow. A little more, try to break some capillaries, dear. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Couldn't we use just rouge for this? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Mrs. Bouvier}} Ladies pinch. Whores use rouge. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Selma]]}} ''[when Homer arrives to pick up Marge]'' Marge's dates get homelier all the time. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Patty]]}} That's what you get when you don't put out. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Artie]]}} Hello, classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior, as your king. Good for you. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Limo Driver}} Well, where to now, Romeo? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Inspiration Point. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Limo Driver}} Okay, but I'm only paid to drive. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Artie}} Marge, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody about my busy hands, not so much for myself, but I am so respected, It would damage the town to hear it. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} When I got home I realized who I should have gone to the prom with. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Who? ''[realizes]'' Oh. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} My prom date. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Marge, pour vous. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Marge}} Why so glum? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} I've got a problem. As soon as you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you, and kiss you, and then I'll never be able to let you go! :''[Fades back to the present) And I never have... [Lisa smiles, Bart makes gagging noises]'' | |
{{Season 2|Q}} | {{Season 2|Q}} | ||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Way We Was/Quotes}} | {{DEFAULTSORT:Way We Was/Quotes}} | ||
Revision as of 07:31, November 4, 2018
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- Homer: Do you two have to sit so close to the TV? Back up, or it'll hurt your eyes.
- Bart: It will not.
- Homer: [makes a fist] Yes, it will.
- Bart: Hey, what gives?
- Lisa: Dad! Do something!
- Homer: Alright, alright. Time for Dr. TV to perform a little surgery! [bangs on the TV and the picture gets worse]
- Bart: Looks like you lost the patient, Doc.
- Homer: [fiddles with the back of the television set] Is that better?
- Bart and Lisa: NO!!!
- Homer: How's this? [the picture on the television gets worse]
- Bart and Lisa: [screams]
- Homer: Okay, everybody remain calm. [gives the TV a big whack; the picture disappears]
- Bart and Lisa: [screams louder]
- Bart: Hey everybody, If you look real close, you can kinda make him out!
- Homer: Hey yeah… yeah! I think I can!
- Marge: I think this is sick… they're staring at a dot!
- Homer: She's right! She's right! Oh I miss TV, dear God! Just give me one channel.
- Bart: I'm livin' it, but I ain't lovin' it.
- Barney: Hey, Homer, you're late for English!
- Homer: Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England.
- Barney: [school bell rings] Oh no, we're late for wood shop!
- Homer: But... we're early for lunch! Let's go grab a burger.
- Barney: Boy, you never stop eating and you never gain a pound.
- Homer: It's my metabomolism. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.
- Marge: The first step to liberation is to free ourselves from these male-imposed shackles! [lights a bra; it burns up]
- Kim: I didn't think it would burn so fast.
- Marge: Mm, I guess it's the tissue paper inside.
- Barney: Hey, Estelle? Will you go to the prom with me?
- Estelle: I wouldn't go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould!
- Barney: Oh, shot down again.
- Homer: So, uh, what are you in for?
- Marge: I'm a political prisoner. Last time I ever take a stand...
- Homer: Well, I'm here for being me. Every day, I show up, act like me, and they slap me in here.
- Teacher: Simpson, be quiet!
- Homer: I haven't seen you in school before.
- Teacher: Okay, Simpson,
- Homer: What?
- Teacher: You just bought yourself another day of detention.
- Homer: Maybe we should get together sometime.
- Teacher: Two days!
- Marge: I'm sorry, I don't even know your name.
- Homer: I'm Homer
- Teacher: Three days!
- Homer: J.
- Teacher: Four days!
- Homer: Simpson.
- Teacher: Five days!
- Homer: It was worth it!
- Teacher: Six days! Okay, Simpson, to the back of the room!
- Homer: Hi, I'm Homer Simpson, I need some guidance, Counselor.
- Mr. McIntyre: Do you have any plans for after graduation?
- Homer: Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night.
- Homer: My name's Homer Simpson, I'd like to sign up for something.
- Mrs. Bloomenstein: Well, we have an opening on the debate team.
- Homer: Debate, like, arguing?
- Mrs. Bloomenstein: Yes.
- Homer: I'll take THAT, you DINGPOT! Just warming up, Mrs. Blumenstein.
- Mrs. Bloomenstein: This year's topic is "Resolved: The national speed limit should be lowered to 55 miles per hour."
- Homer: 55? That's ridiculous! Sure, it'll save a few lives, but millions will be late!
- Mrs. Bloomenstein: Homer, would you like to present your rebuttal?
- Homer: With pleasure. (Everyone gasps as Homer moons the class.)
- [Principal Dondelinger catches Homer and Barney smoking in the bathroom.]
- Principal Dondelinger: Well, well, well. If it isn't Homer Simpson and Barney Gumble, Springfield's answer to "Cheech and Chong." Allow me, gentlemen. [grabs their cigarettes and tosses them in the toilet.] You just bought yourselves three days of detention. You know where and when.
- Homer and Barney: 3:00, old building, room 106.
- Barney: Wanna go to the prom with me?
- Kim: Good God! No!
- Barney: Well put.
- Bart: Great story. [bangs TV] Positively spellbinding. [bangs TV] Work, damn you.
- Homer: Bart! Pay attention, you may be telling this to your own son if something breaks.
- Marge: Maybe I'll wear my hair ... up.
- Bart: Get off the edge of your seat. They got married, had kids, and bought a cheap TV, okay?
- Mrs. Bouvier: If you pinch your cheeks, they'll glow. A little more, try to break some capillaries, dear.
- Marge: Couldn't we use just rouge for this?
- Mrs. Bouvier: Ladies pinch. Whores use rouge.
- Selma: [when Homer arrives to pick up Marge] Marge's dates get homelier all the time.
- Patty: That's what you get when you don't put out.
- Artie: Hello, classmates. Instead of voting for some athletic hero or a pretty boy, you have elected me, your intellectual superior, as your king. Good for you.
- Limo Driver: Well, where to now, Romeo?
- Homer: Inspiration Point.
- Limo Driver: Okay, but I'm only paid to drive.
- Artie: Marge, I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody about my busy hands, not so much for myself, but I am so respected, It would damage the town to hear it.
- Marge: When I got home I realized who I should have gone to the prom with.
- Homer: Who? [realizes] Oh.
- Marge: My prom date.
- Homer: Marge, pour vous.
- Marge: Why so glum?
- Homer: I've got a problem. As soon as you stop this car, I'm gonna hug you, and kiss you, and then I'll never be able to let you go! :[Fades back to the present) And I never have... [Lisa smiles, Bart makes gagging noises]
