Difference between revisions of "The Best Laid Tans"

Latest revision as of 15:58, August 3, 2025

The Best Laid Tans

Tapped Out Quest Information

Level:	15
Update:	Splash and Burn
Required characters:	Swimsuit Homer, Lisa
Optional characters:	Marge, Bart, Smithers
Internal name(s):	TheBestLaidTans
ID(s):	258017 - 258021

The Best Laid Tans is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Splash and Burn content update. It requires Swimsuit Homer to be obtained.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
	Good morning, Simpsons! It's good to see everyone at the breakfast table on this fine, sunny morning.
	Gross! Why are you wearing your tiny Euro-style swimsuit in the house?
	And why do you have oil all over your body?
	I have my reasons.
	Wait, do you think that if you put a bunch of oil on yourself that it'll somehow make it seem like you have muscles?
	No...
	Because all it's doing is shining up your fat folds.
	That was mean, but since I'm in a good mood, I'll overlook it.
	What's going on, Homer? You're getting oil all over the kitchen.
	To answer all of your questions: I, Homer J. Simpson, have entered the Sunshine Suntan Lotion contest.
	Why?
	Because Sunshine Suntan have just merged with Amalgamated Industrial Chemicals, and to celebrate they're holding a contest where first prize is a new car.
	What's the catch?
	You have to spend the next forty-eight hours tanning and documenting your entire experience on social media.
	Wait, are you filming us all right now?
	Duh! Did you not hear me when I said that first prize is a new car!
Task: "Make Swimsuit Homer Drip Oil All Over the Kitchen". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Marge is owned: Task: "Make Marge Clean Up Homer's Oil Spill". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Lisa Be Disturbed by All of This". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours. If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Record This on His Phone". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
	Here you go, honey. One more bite...
	NOM!
	Dad, aren't you embarrassed that Bart is recording this?
	Are you kidding? This is social media gold! Sunshine Suntan will see how dedicated I am to tanning.
	Nothing gets likes and subscribes more than self-humiliation videos.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
	Good morning, boys! Beautiful, sunny day today, isn't it?
	Homer, why are you on time for work?
	And why aren't you wearing any clothes?
	I entered a suntanning contest to win a new car, so I have to keep tanning for two days.
	Simpson! What is the meaning of all this naked, glistening flesh? We have a dress code here.
	We do, but there's an exception for chemical spills and contests with a cash value of more than $200.
	Smithers, is that right?
	Uh, I'll look into it, sir.
	As soon as I can stop staring at Simpson with horrid fascination.
Task: "Make Swimsuit Homer Disturb Coworkers". The job takes place at the Control Building, Reactor Core, Cooling Towers, Work From Home Station, or a Shop and takes 4 hours. If Smithers is owned: Task: "Make Smithers Review the Company Dress Code". The job takes place at the Control Building, Reactor Core, Cooling Towers, Work From Home Station, or a Shop and takes 4 hours.
	I'm afraid Simpson is right, sir.
	Woohoo!
	I can't handle this distraction. Simpson, take the day off.
	Yes, sir!
	And Smithers, unleash the chemical spill.
	But sir, Simpson has already left.
	I want to burn the image out of my retinas.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
	Hey Homer, some of your fellow contestants are livestreaming themselves tanning.
	What?! I don't know what that means, but I have to do it, too!
	You know, instead of just lying around tanning, we should livestream you doing something at home while you're tanning. It'll be funny!
	Oooh, good idea! You can livestream me drinking a beer and watching TV.
	Or you could mow the lawn!
	How's that going to be funny?
	You haven't mowed in two months, and I'm pretty sure wild animals have moved in.
	Let me get my phone.
Task: "Make Swimsuit Homer Mow the Yard". The job takes 4 hours. If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Livestream Homer Mowing". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
	Well that sucked.
	Yeah, but you've risen to third place in the fan voting.
	I didn't know there was fan voting. I wonder what else I could do that would get votes.
	I know — voters like funny, and there's nothing funnier than a fat man on wheels.
Task: "Make Swimsuit Homer Skate Around Town". The job takes 4 hours. If Bart is owned: Task: "Make Bart Livestream Homer Skating". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark
	Well that also sucked.
	Yeah, but you got all the way to second place before the contest ended. You're the runner-up!
	Well, a new car would have been nice, but I can't wait to see what the runner-up prize is!
	Maybe a new washer-dryer set or a trip to Acapulco...
	Or maybe a gym membership so that swimsuit actually fits.
Task: "Make Swimsuit Homer Wait Impatiently for His Prize". The job takes place at the Simpson House and takes 4 hours.
	Mr. Simpson, congratulations on being the Sunshine Suntan contest runner-up!
	What do I get? A motorcycle? A Caribbean vacation? One of those giant cardboard checks for a million dollars?
	What? If the grand prize is a new car, why would second prize be a million dollars? No, it's none of those things.
	Actually, to celebrate the merger of Sunshine Suntan Lotion with Amalgamated Industrial Chemicals, you win an all-inclusive Crypto Cruise around a floating server farm in the North Sea...
	But that's a total scam!
	Exactly!
Quest reward: 200 and 20

Behind the Laughter[edit]

The quest name is a reference to the phrase "the best laid plans."

view • talk • edit • past The Simpsons: Tapped Out Splash and Burn quests

Summertime Blues • The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide • Summer Splashin', Had Me a Blast
Swimsuit Homer	The Best Laid Tans
Paul Flart	A Very Moist Mystery
Swimsuit Brockman	Beach Reporter Bingo