Difference between revisions of "My Fair Laddy/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|We're on the Road to D'ohwhere|The Seemingly Never-Ending Story}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|We're on the Road to D'ohwhere|The Seemingly Never-Ending Story}} | ||
| − | {{qf|Willie}} ''[talking about the Home, Sweet Home sign Lisa made for him]'' You made that for me? ''[sniffles]'' I think I need a moment alone. | + | {{qf|[[Willie]]}} ''[talking about the Home, Sweet Home sign Lisa made for him]'' You made that for me? ''[sniffles]'' I think I need a moment alone. |
| − | {{qf|Lisa}} I understand. ''[leaves]'' | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} I understand. ''[leaves]'' |
| − | :''[ | + | :''[When she's gone, Willie takes the sign off the wall and smashes it.]'' |
{{qf|Willie}} I liked it the way it was! | {{qf|Willie}} I liked it the way it was! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Marge is shocked by the ad on Homer's head when he turns out the lights]'' | + | :''[Marge is shocked by the ad on Homer's head when he turns out the lights.]'' |
| − | {{qf|Marge}} It glows in the dark! | + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} It glows in the dark! |
{{qf|Homer}} ''[nervously]'' It's not supposed to. | {{qf|Homer}} ''[nervously]'' It's not supposed to. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|[[Coach Krupt]]}} Bombardment! Bombardment! Bombardment! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Jimbo}} Look at her, trying to civilize Willie! That's as unlikely as Kearney going around the world in eighty days! | + | {{qf|[[Jimbo]]}} Look at her, trying to civilize Willie! That's as unlikely as Kearney going around the world in eighty days! |
| − | {{qf|Kearney}} ''[has a thought]'' Eighty days? More than ample time to circumnavigate the globe. | + | {{qf|[[Kearney]]}} ''[has a thought]'' Eighty days? More than ample time to circumnavigate the globe. |
{{qf|Jimbo}} Would you care to wager on that? | {{qf|Jimbo}} Would you care to wager on that? | ||
{{qf|Kearney}} You're on! | {{qf|Kearney}} You're on! | ||
| − | {{qf|Dolph}} I shall hold the money! | + | {{qf|[[Dolph]]}} I shall hold the money! |
| − | :''[ | + | :''[Pays Jimbo some money and then bikes off screen right. A few seconds later, a hot-air balloon appears going the opposite way.]'' |
| − | {{qf|Kearney | + | {{qf|Kearney}} ''[in balloon]'' To [[Istanbul]]! |
{{qf|Jimbo}} Wrong way, dingus! | {{qf|Jimbo}} Wrong way, dingus! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Coach Krupt}} Today we will be playing a game as old as pain itself, BOMBARDMENT. |
| − | {{qf|Milhouse}} I'm intrigued! How do you play? | + | {{qf|[[Milhouse]]}} I'm intrigued! How do you play? |
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Coach Krupt}} DUCK OR DIE! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Coach Krupt}} VAN HOUTEN! |
| − | {{qf|Milhouse}} | + | {{qf|Milhouse}} ''[sheepishly]'' Here, sir, but my doctor says no more bombardment. |
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Coach Krupt}} WELL HERE'S A SECOND OPINION! ''[the coach chucks a dodgeball at Milhouse]'' MUNTZ! |
| − | {{qf|Nelson}} Do your worst! I'm drunk! | + | {{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Do your worst! I'm drunk! |
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Coach Krupt}} Well welcome to A.A., ALWAYS ATTACKING! ''[the coach chucks a dodgeball at Nelson]'' |
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} Good night, Willie! | {{qf|Lisa}} Good night, Willie! | ||
{{qf|Willie}} Good night! ''[hits himself on the head with a hammer, then falls asleep]'' | {{qf|Willie}} Good night! ''[hits himself on the head with a hammer, then falls asleep]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Coach Krupt}} ''[after he hits Bart with a ball]'' Son, are you all right? |
{{qf|Bart}} I think so... | {{qf|Bart}} I think so... | ||
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Coach Krupt}} BOMBARDMENT!''[hits Bart with a ball again]'' |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Bart | + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[puts a water dodgeball in the freezer and takes out Lisa's saxophone]'' Why did I put this in here? |
| − | {{qf|Lisa}} My saxophone! ''[begins playing, but her lips get stuck]'' | + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} My saxophone! ''[begins playing, but her lips get stuck]'' |
{{qf|Bart}} Oh, now I remember! | {{qf|Bart}} Oh, now I remember! | ||
| − | {{qf|Lisa | + | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[muffled]'' You jerk! I'm telling Mom! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''[Homer is on a go-kart when his seat collapses, causing his butt to scrape the ground]'' | + | :''[Homer is on a go-kart when his seat collapses, causing his butt to scrape the ground.]'' |
| − | {{qf|[[Squeaky- | + | {{qf|[[Squeaky-Voiced Teen]]}} Sir, your go-kart's broken! |
{{qf|Homer}} No! I paid for fifty laps and I'm taking them! | {{qf|Homer}} No! I paid for fifty laps and I'm taking them! | ||
:''[Homer then has brief moments of laughter followed by brief moments of pain. He passes the lap sign, which goes from "2" to "3".]'' | :''[Homer then has brief moments of laughter followed by brief moments of pain. He passes the lap sign, which goes from "2" to "3".]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Groundskeeper Largo}} Oh for God's sake! ''[camera pulls out, revealing his tractor is on the school roof]'' How did I get up here? | + | {{qf|[[Dewey Largo|Groundskeeper Largo]]}} Oh for God's sake! ''[camera pulls out, revealing his tractor is on the school roof]'' How did I get up here? |
{{qf|Willie}} I feel like I..''[singing]'' could be indoors all night, could use a fork and knife, and never soil my suit! I could be so polite, start not a scene nor fight and still not feel like a fruit! How very nice that there's no lice in my hair, and my toenails I don't bite! Now that I've reached the stage where I'm not full of rage, I could be indoors, indoors, all night! | {{qf|Willie}} I feel like I..''[singing]'' could be indoors all night, could use a fork and knife, and never soil my suit! I could be so polite, start not a scene nor fight and still not feel like a fruit! How very nice that there's no lice in my hair, and my toenails I don't bite! Now that I've reached the stage where I'm not full of rage, I could be indoors, indoors, all night! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Willie}} ''[sings to the tune of | + | {{qf|Willie}} ''[sings to the tune of wouldn't it be loverly]'' ''All I want is a place somewhere...'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[pause]'' And? | |
{{qf|Willie}} That's it. | {{qf|Willie}} That's it. | ||
{{qf|Bart}} Maybe you should aim a little higher. | {{qf|Bart}} Maybe you should aim a little higher. | ||
| − | {{qf|Willie}} Hmm...Let's see... ''[continues singing]'' ''Oh, to have me shack rebuilt, Get my rotten teeth all drillt, something on underneath my kilt, oh, wouldn't it be adequate? Matching shoes for both me feet, dining on untainted meat, a toilet what still has its seat.'' | + | {{qf|Willie}} Hmm... Let's see... ''[continues singing]'' ''Oh, to have me shack rebuilt, Get my rotten teeth all drillt, something on underneath my kilt, oh, wouldn't it be adequate? Matching shoes for both me feet, dining on untainted meat, a toilet what still has its seat.'' |
| − | :''[ | + | :''[Zoom to Homer sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper.]'' |
{{qf|Homer}} ''Oh,wouldn't it be adequate?'' | {{qf|Homer}} ''Oh,wouldn't it be adequate?'' | ||
{{qf|Bart and Lisa}} ''Adequate? Adequate?'' | {{qf|Bart and Lisa}} ''Adequate? Adequate?'' | ||
| − | {{qf|Willie}} ''Wouldn't it be adequate? | + | {{qf|Willie}} ''Wouldn't it be adequate?'' ''[tries to close the living room's window's curtains but they fall down]'' |
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Homer}} ''[watching Super Bowl ad for blue pants]'' How long is this ad? | {{qf|Homer}} ''[watching Super Bowl ad for blue pants]'' How long is this ad? | ||
{{qf|Executive}} I don't know. I've never made it to the end. | {{qf|Executive}} I don't know. I've never made it to the end. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Willie}} ''[singing | + | {{qf|Willie}} ''[singing]'' ''What flows from the nose does not go on my clothes.'' |
{{qf|Lisa}} ''I think he's got it, oh yeah, he's got it.'' | {{qf|Lisa}} ''I think he's got it, oh yeah, he's got it.'' | ||
| − | {{qf|Willie}} ''[in front of Lisa's mirror | + | {{qf|Willie}} ''[in front of Lisa's mirror]'' ''What flows from the nose-'' |
{{qf|Willie's mirror reflection}} ''-Does not go on my clothes.'' | {{qf|Willie's mirror reflection}} ''-Does not go on my clothes.'' | ||
{{qf|Willie}} Gah! A talking mirror! ''[takes a chair and smashes Lisa's mirror]'' Gah! ''[takes Bart and Lisa's noses and swoops them]'' | {{qf|Willie}} Gah! A talking mirror! ''[takes a chair and smashes Lisa's mirror]'' Gah! ''[takes Bart and Lisa's noses and swoops them]'' | ||
| Line 75: | Line 75: | ||
{{qf|Homer}} ''Blue pants, blue pants!'' | {{qf|Homer}} ''Blue pants, blue pants!'' | ||
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[stops singing]'' Dad, get your own song! | {{qf|Lisa}} ''[stops singing]'' Dad, get your own song! | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer}} Fine. ''[goes away singing | + | {{qf|Homer}} Fine. ''[goes away singing]'' ''I'm getting blue pants in the morning, ding dong, the zipper's gonna shine!'' |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Willie}} ''[singing | + | {{qf|Willie}} ''[singing]'' ''I've a fancy suit,and a clean white shirt, but I miss the days when tractor fumes blew up my skirt. I was freezing cold, and I slept in mold, but I long for the shack where I lived. She was true to me, my own home of wood, and when I passed out drunk from turpentine she understood. Life was so sublime-'' |
| − | {{qf|Groundskeeper Largo}} ''-Well Boo-Hoo,'cause I'm hanging ferns in the shack where you lived! | + | {{qf|Groundskeeper Largo}} ''-Well Boo-Hoo,'cause I'm hanging ferns in the shack where you lived!'' ''[stops singing]'' If I had your voice I'd talk-sing everything! |
---- | ---- | ||
{{qf|Marge}} Willie, do you want to stay at our house? | {{qf|Marge}} Willie, do you want to stay at our house? | ||
{{qf|Willie}} I don't need your charity, just as long as I've got a pan over my head. | {{qf|Willie}} I don't need your charity, just as long as I've got a pan over my head. | ||
{{qf|Marge}} That's a colander. | {{qf|Marge}} That's a colander. | ||
| − | {{qf|Willie | + | {{qf|Willie}} ''[sees that Marge is right]'' So ''that's'' where all the soup went. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Willie}} I feel like I... ''[singing | + | {{qf|Willie}} ''I feel like I...'' ''[singing]'' |
:''Could be indoors all night,'' | :''Could be indoors all night,'' | ||
:''Could use a fork, and knife,'' | :''Could use a fork, and knife,'' | ||
Latest revision as of 19:41, May 12, 2025
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- Willie: [talking about the Home, Sweet Home sign Lisa made for him] You made that for me? [sniffles] I think I need a moment alone.
- Lisa: I understand. [leaves]
- [When she's gone, Willie takes the sign off the wall and smashes it.]
- Willie: I liked it the way it was!
- [Marge is shocked by the ad on Homer's head when he turns out the lights.]
- Marge: It glows in the dark!
- Homer: [nervously] It's not supposed to.
- Coach Krupt: Bombardment! Bombardment! Bombardment!
- Jimbo: Look at her, trying to civilize Willie! That's as unlikely as Kearney going around the world in eighty days!
- Kearney: [has a thought] Eighty days? More than ample time to circumnavigate the globe.
- Jimbo: Would you care to wager on that?
- Kearney: You're on!
- Dolph: I shall hold the money!
- [Pays Jimbo some money and then bikes off screen right. A few seconds later, a hot-air balloon appears going the opposite way.]
- Kearney: [in balloon] To Istanbul!
- Jimbo: Wrong way, dingus!
- Coach Krupt: Today we will be playing a game as old as pain itself, BOMBARDMENT.
- Milhouse: I'm intrigued! How do you play?
- Coach Krupt: DUCK OR DIE!
- Coach Krupt: VAN HOUTEN!
- Milhouse: [sheepishly] Here, sir, but my doctor says no more bombardment.
- Coach Krupt: WELL HERE'S A SECOND OPINION! [the coach chucks a dodgeball at Milhouse] MUNTZ!
- Nelson: Do your worst! I'm drunk!
- Coach Krupt: Well welcome to A.A., ALWAYS ATTACKING! [the coach chucks a dodgeball at Nelson]
- Lisa: Good night, Willie!
- Willie: Good night! [hits himself on the head with a hammer, then falls asleep]
- Coach Krupt: [after he hits Bart with a ball] Son, are you all right?
- Bart: I think so...
- Coach Krupt: BOMBARDMENT![hits Bart with a ball again]
- Bart: [puts a water dodgeball in the freezer and takes out Lisa's saxophone] Why did I put this in here?
- Lisa: My saxophone! [begins playing, but her lips get stuck]
- Bart: Oh, now I remember!
- Lisa: [muffled] You jerk! I'm telling Mom!
- [Homer is on a go-kart when his seat collapses, causing his butt to scrape the ground.]
- Squeaky-Voiced Teen: Sir, your go-kart's broken!
- Homer: No! I paid for fifty laps and I'm taking them!
- [Homer then has brief moments of laughter followed by brief moments of pain. He passes the lap sign, which goes from "2" to "3".]
- Groundskeeper Largo: Oh for God's sake! [camera pulls out, revealing his tractor is on the school roof] How did I get up here?
- Willie: I feel like I..[singing] could be indoors all night, could use a fork and knife, and never soil my suit! I could be so polite, start not a scene nor fight and still not feel like a fruit! How very nice that there's no lice in my hair, and my toenails I don't bite! Now that I've reached the stage where I'm not full of rage, I could be indoors, indoors, all night!
- Willie: [sings to the tune of wouldn't it be loverly] All I want is a place somewhere...
- Lisa: [pause] And?
- Willie: That's it.
- Bart: Maybe you should aim a little higher.
- Willie: Hmm... Let's see... [continues singing] Oh, to have me shack rebuilt, Get my rotten teeth all drillt, something on underneath my kilt, oh, wouldn't it be adequate? Matching shoes for both me feet, dining on untainted meat, a toilet what still has its seat.
- [Zoom to Homer sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper.]
- Homer: Oh,wouldn't it be adequate?
- Bart and Lisa: Adequate? Adequate?
- Willie: Wouldn't it be adequate? [tries to close the living room's window's curtains but they fall down]
- Homer: [watching Super Bowl ad for blue pants] How long is this ad?
- Executive: I don't know. I've never made it to the end.
- Willie: [singing] What flows from the nose does not go on my clothes.
- Lisa: I think he's got it, oh yeah, he's got it.
- Willie: [in front of Lisa's mirror] What flows from the nose-
- Willie's mirror reflection: -Does not go on my clothes.
- Willie: Gah! A talking mirror! [takes a chair and smashes Lisa's mirror] Gah! [takes Bart and Lisa's noses and swoops them]
- Lisa: Where is that ghastly flow?
- Willie: The nose,the nose!
- Lisa: And where should it not go?
- Homer: Blue pants, blue pants!
- Lisa: [stops singing] Dad, get your own song!
- Homer: Fine. [goes away singing] I'm getting blue pants in the morning, ding dong, the zipper's gonna shine!
- Willie: [singing] I've a fancy suit,and a clean white shirt, but I miss the days when tractor fumes blew up my skirt. I was freezing cold, and I slept in mold, but I long for the shack where I lived. She was true to me, my own home of wood, and when I passed out drunk from turpentine she understood. Life was so sublime-
- Groundskeeper Largo: -Well Boo-Hoo,'cause I'm hanging ferns in the shack where you lived! [stops singing] If I had your voice I'd talk-sing everything!
- Marge: Willie, do you want to stay at our house?
- Willie: I don't need your charity, just as long as I've got a pan over my head.
- Marge: That's a colander.
- Willie: [sees that Marge is right] So that's where all the soup went.
- Willie: I feel like I... [singing]
- Could be indoors all night,
- Could use a fork, and knife,
- and never soil my suit!
- I could be so polite
- Start not a single fight
- And still not feel like a fruit!
- How very nice
- That there's no lice
- In my hair.
- And my toe-nails I don't bite.
- Now that I've reached the stage
- Where I'm not full of rage
- I could be indoors
- Indoors all night!
