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Difference between revisions of "Bye, Bye, Nerdie/Quotes"

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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Hungry, Hungry Homer|Simpson Safari}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Hungry, Hungry Homer|Simpson Safari}}
  
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Ah! Homer, you're still here? You should have left for work an hour ago.
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} ''[horrified sound]'' Homer, you're still here? You should've left for work an hour ago!
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} They said if I come in late for work again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} They said if I come in late again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Marge}} ''[to Bart and Lisa]'' And kids you're gonna miss you [[school bus]]. ''[looks at the window and gasps the school bus is only two blocks]'' It's only two blocks away!
+
{{qf|Marge}} I did it! I caught the school bus. Now hurry up and get on.
:''[Marge grabs Bart and Lisa and brushes them both their teeth.]''
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} But Mom, the school's right here.
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} We're gonna spit.
+
{{qf|Marge}} I won. Don't take that away from me.
{{qf|Marge}} You can spit on the bus. ''[changes their pajamas into their outfits while going down stairs Lisa is wearing Bart's clothes and Bart is wearing Lisa's clothes]''
 
{{qf|Bart}} Uh, mom? ''[holding Lisa's skirt]''
 
{{qf|Marge}} ''[to Bart]'' Not now Lisa. ''[grabs them both]''
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Marge}} Stop! Stop!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
{{qf|[[Otto]]}} Oh, you wanna drag?
+
{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Yeah, somebody should. One-hour dry cleaner. Man, that's fast.
{{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' Hrmmm. I'm not racing! It's me, Marge Simpson!
 
{{qf|Otto}} No, you eat my dust!
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|[[Terri]]}} Red hair?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Kids gone?
{{qf|[[Sherri]]}} What's she trying to pull?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Yep. It's great to have some time just to ourselves, huh?
{{qf|[[Janey]]}} Those shoes look [[Canada|Canadian]].
+
{{qf|Homer}} You read my mind. Sooo... This coffee's good, huh?
{{qf|Boy with orthodontic headgear}} She'll never fit in.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Yeah. The uh... the milk really takes the edge off.
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
+
{{qf|Homer}} You know, I think our marriage is...
{{qf|Bart}} Yeah, somebody should... ''[looking out of window]'' One-hour dry cleaner? Man, that's fast.
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|[[Sales lady]]}} ''[as door is be-ing opened]'' Your baby is dead... ''[Marge and Homer gasp]'' ...that's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of death-traps lurking in the average American home. ''[she hands Marge a business card]''
+
{{qf|[[Sales lady]]}} Your baby is dead.
{{qf|Marge}} '[[Springfield Baby-Proofing]]'?
+
:''[Homer and Marge scream]''
{{qf|Homer}} You... you really scared us!
+
{{qf|Sales lady}} That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of deathtraps lurking in the average American home.
{{qf|Sales lady}} Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby [[Maggie Simpson]], is dead... ''[Marge and Homer gasp again]'' ...tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate.
+
{{qf|Marge}} ''[reading]'' "[[Springfield Baby-Proofing]]"?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} You...you really scared us.
 +
{{qf|Sales lady}} Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead!
 +
:''[Homer and Marge scream]''
 +
{{qf|Sales lady}} Dead tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate. Let's start in the kitchen.
 
----
 
----
:''[The sales lady puts on a baby bonnet.]''
+
{{qf|Sales lady}} Now, pretend I'm a baby. ''[baby voice]'' Goo goo. Me wike to expwore.
{{qf|Sales lady}} Now, pretend I'm a baby. ''[she starts to crawl around the kitchen floor, making baby noises]'' Goo, goo. Me wike to expwore!
+
{{qf|Homer}} That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[to Marge]'' That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Homer! Don't be... Wow, that is huge.
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, don't be... wow, that is huge!
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Sales lady}} Okay, with the window bars, toilet latches, dingo alarm and grapefruit squirt shield, your total cost would be... wow, I'm rich!
+
{{qf|Homer}} This is such an eye-opener. I always pictured the kids dying in the living room.
 
----
 
----
 
{{qf|Marge}} Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
 
{{qf|Marge}} Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
{{qf|Lisa}} Hmm. Well, lots of people like jazz fusion. ''[she pulls out her sax and demonstrates]''
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Well, lots of people like jazz fusion... ''[plays jazz music]''
{{qf|Marge}} Okay, that's in the maybe file. What if you two bond over your [[Malibu Stacy]] dolls?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Okay, that's in the "maybe" file.
{{qf|Lisa}} They're not dolls, they're aspiration figures.
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Homer}} That baby-proofing crook wanted to sell us safety covers for the electrical outlets. But I'll just draw bunny faces on them to scare [[Maggie]] away. ''[he begins to draw]''
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Milhouse? She got you, too?
{{qf|Marge}} She's not afraid of bunnies.
+
{{qf|[[Milhouse Van Houten]]}} Yeah. But it's not so bad, I'm standin' on Ralph.
{{qf|Homer}} ''[ominously]'' She ''will'' be.
+
{{qf|[[Ralph Wiggum]]}} We're a totem pole. ''[chanting]'' Hiya, hiya, hoya, hiya!
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Homer}} Now, do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Now do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
{{qf|Marge}} I'm the one who told you that!
+
{{qf|Marge}} I'm the one who told you that.
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, but this is me talkin'. Look! I already encased the phone in concrete.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Yeah, but this is me talking.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Look, I already encased the telephone in concrete.
 
{{qf|Marge}} How are you supposed to dial?
 
{{qf|Marge}} How are you supposed to dial?
 
{{qf|Homer}} Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
 
{{qf|Homer}} Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
 
{{qf|Marge}} Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
 
{{qf|Marge}} Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
{{qf|Homer}} Baby could order poison!
+
{{qf|Homer}} Baby could order poison.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Oh, that's ridiculous.
 +
:''[Homer dials]''
 +
{{qf|Poison Delivery Service}} Poison Delivery Service. A gift-basket of poisons is on its way.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} ''[ashamed]'' I'm a horrible mother.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Of course you are.
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Lisa}} Would you bullies be interested in some body guard work?
+
{{qf|[[Nelson Muntz]]}} Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself? Huh? Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself?
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} Oh, this is so funny. We were just talking about moving into protection.
+
{{qf|[[Martin Prince]]}} Your very question is faulty!
{{qf|[[Dolph]]}} We're offering a recess and lunch package that's very affordable.
+
{{qf|[[Jimbo Jones]]}} You're faulty!
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Nelson}} Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch.
+
{{qf|Nelson}} She?! Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch...
{{qf|Dolph}} And sometimes we fall in love.
+
{{qf|[[Dolph Shapiro]]}} And sometimes we fall in love...
:''[The bullies sigh.]''
+
:''[bullies wistfully sigh]''
{{qf|Lisa}} Wow, there's so much I don't understand about bullying.
 
{{qf|Nelson}} Yeah, there's a lot of history there. Did you know is predates agriculture?
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Lisa}} I just don't understand [[Francine]]'s motivation. Why does she only go after the smart ones?
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Come on, people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
{{qf|Nelson}} That's like asking the square root of a million... No one will ever know.
+
{{qf|Martin}} I'm not mastering another stair until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
----
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Willie, I need to see the school security tapes.
 
{{qf|[[Willie]]}} Security tapes? There's no security tapes!
 
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[pointing at a camera]'' It's hard to miss the cameras.
 
{{qf|Willie}} Aye. Willie's a stinkin' liar.
 
----
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Why does the school need to watch us all the time?
 
{{qf|Willie}} School?
 
----
 
:''[[[Milhouse]], Martin and [[Database]], all shirtless, are exercising on StairMasters.]''
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Come on people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
 
{{qf|[[Martin]]}} I'm not mastering another step until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
 
 
{{qf|Lisa}} I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
 
{{qf|Lisa}} I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
 
{{qf|Martin}} Then I shall drip like a pot roast.
 
{{qf|Martin}} Then I shall drip like a pot roast.
{{qf|Lisa}} Excellent. Now don't mind the squeegee. ''[she scrapes sweat off of Martin's body]''
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|[[Principal Skinner]]}} Thank you, Drederick Tatum. That was truly a K.O. - Knockout Oration. Heh.
 
{{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} ''[flirting]'' Need a ride home?
 
{{qf|[[Drederick Tatum]]}} You really don't want that. Trust me.
 
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
{{qf|Drederick Tatum}} No, not at all. Swab away.
+
{{qf|[[Drederick Tatum]]}} No, not at all. Swab away. Whoa, whoa, no one mentioned a beaker.
:''[Lisa pulls out a beaker and starts pouring something onto the rag.]''
 
{{qf|Drederick}} Whoa, whoa! Nobody mentioned a beaker.
 
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Please? It's for science.
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Please? It's for science.
{{qf|Drederick}} Oh, for science! In that case, proceed.
+
{{qf|Drederick Tatum}} Oh for science. In that case, proceed.
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Scientist}} The Problem? UFOs! ''[holds up a fake UFO on a string]'' The solution? This! ''[cuts string]''
+
{{qf|Homer}} Babies of Springfield! We need your help! Please! Skin your knees! Put dice up your nose! Let cats sleep on your face!
{{qf|Marge}} That's quite an act to follow, Lisa.
 
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[stepping onto stage]'' I know, and the crowd is so distinguished. The inventor of the walkie-talkie is out there.
 
{{qf|Marge}} ''[stepping after Lisa]'' Where?
 
{{qf|Lisa}} Third row, near the aisle.
 
{{qf|Marge}} ''[gasps]'' Ooh, you're right. And that's not his wife.
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Lisa}} But why do the bullies prey on the brainy? Is it jealousy? ''[the scientists murmur assent]'' No! The reason is chemical. ''[the scientists murmur disagreement]''
+
{{qf|[[Professor Frink]]}} Scientists... Scientists, please... Looking for some order... some order please... with the eyes forward and the hands neatly... folded. And the pain. There'll be pain. Hmmm. Pi is exactly three!
{{qf|Male researcher}} Tha-that's impossible! Chemicals are our friends.
 
{{qf|Dr. [[C. Everett Koop]]}} She's a witch!
 
 
----
 
----
{{qf|Lisa}} I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork and four-eyes. I call is '[[Poindextrose]]'.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork, and four-eyes. I call it "[[Poindextrose]]".
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Woo hoo! Simpsons rule! Sorry.
 
----
 
----
:''[When Lisa shows off her Bully repellent.]''
 
{{qf|Scientist}} The little girl's invented some kind of bully repellent!
 
{{qf|Lisa}} ''[holding up an atomizer]'' Actually, it's just ordinary salad dressing.
 
{{qf|Marge}} So that's where that went.
 
{{qf|Lisa}} The pungent vinegar and tangy Roquefort blocked the smell receptors, rendering the bully harmless.
 
 
{{qf|Homer}} So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
 
{{qf|Homer}} So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
 
{{qf|Lisa}} No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
 
{{qf|Lisa}} No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
 
{{qf|Homer}} Just to get some attention.
 
{{qf|Homer}} Just to get some attention.
----
 
:''[Lisa notices [[Francine]] wearing a nose clip.]
 
{{qf|Lisa}} That time she looked right at me and didn't touch me. Hmm. ''[gasps]'' Of course. The nose clip. Hey, Willie.I think I'm onto something. Check this out. ''[Francine enters the room and slowly approaches her]'' Not talking, eh, Willie? Just listen then. I think I figured out what sets off that big ape Francine. Willie? Willie? ''[grabs Lisa]'' Whoa! ''[Francine punches Lisa in the stomach and face and she is crying out and faints and Willie gives a thumbs up at the camera]''
 
  
 
{{Season 12|Q}}
 
{{Season 12|Q}}

Latest revision as of 17:37, May 21, 2026


Season 12 Episode Quotes
263 "Hungry, Hungry Homer"
264
"Bye, Bye, Nerdie"
"Simpson Safari" 265


Marge: [horrified sound] Homer, you're still here? You should've left for work an hour ago!
Homer: They said if I come in late again, I'm fired. I can't take that chance.

Marge: I did it! I caught the school bus. Now hurry up and get on.
Lisa: But Mom, the school's right here.
Marge: I won. Don't take that away from me.

Lisa: Oh, it's tough being the new kid. Someone should go talk to her.
Bart: Yeah, somebody should. One-hour dry cleaner. Man, that's fast.

Homer: Kids gone?
Marge: Yep. It's great to have some time just to ourselves, huh?
Homer: You read my mind. Sooo... This coffee's good, huh?
Marge: Yeah. The uh... the milk really takes the edge off.
Homer: You know, I think our marriage is...

Sales lady: Your baby is dead.
[Homer and Marge scream]
Sales lady: That's what you'd hear if your baby fell victim to the thousands of deathtraps lurking in the average American home.
Marge: [reading] "Springfield Baby-Proofing"?
Homer: You...you really scared us.
Sales lady: Sorry about that. But the truth is, your baby, Maggie Simpson, is dead!
[Homer and Marge scream]
Sales lady: Dead tired of baby-proofers who don't provide a free estimate. Let's start in the kitchen.

Sales lady: Now, pretend I'm a baby. [baby voice] Goo goo. Me wike to expwore.
Homer: That's a pretty big caboose for a baby.
Marge: Homer! Don't be... Wow, that is huge.

Homer: This is such an eye-opener. I always pictured the kids dying in the living room.

Marge: Why don't you try reaching out to this new girl? See if you two have a common interest.
Lisa: Well, lots of people like jazz fusion... [plays jazz music]
Marge: Okay, that's in the "maybe" file.

Lisa: Milhouse? She got you, too?
Milhouse Van Houten: Yeah. But it's not so bad, I'm standin' on Ralph.
Ralph Wiggum: We're a totem pole. [chanting] Hiya, hiya, hoya, hiya!

Homer: Now do you realize how unsafe the American home is? Baby accidents occur every three minutes.
Marge: I'm the one who told you that.
Homer: Yeah, but this is me talking.

Homer: Look, I already encased the telephone in concrete.
Marge: How are you supposed to dial?
Homer: Reach into these holes. I use a carrot.
Marge: Isn't that a little excessive? I mean, how are the buttons dangerous?
Homer: Baby could order poison.
Marge: Oh, that's ridiculous.
[Homer dials]
Poison Delivery Service: Poison Delivery Service. A gift-basket of poisons is on its way.
Marge: [ashamed] I'm a horrible mother.
Homer: Of course you are.

Nelson Muntz: Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself? Huh? Why ya throwing tomatoes at yourself?
Martin Prince: Your very question is faulty!
Jimbo Jones: You're faulty!

Nelson: She?! Sorry, we don't do girls. They bite and kick and scratch...
Dolph Shapiro: And sometimes we fall in love...
[bullies wistfully sigh]

Lisa: Come on, people! Move it! I want to see some sweat!
Martin: I'm not mastering another stair until you explain the purpose of this monstrous experiment.
Lisa: I believe the key to bully-nerd antagonism lies in your drippings.
Martin: Then I shall drip like a pot roast.

Lisa: Mr. Tatum, do you mind if I swab you with this damp rag?
Drederick Tatum: No, not at all. Swab away. Whoa, whoa, no one mentioned a beaker.
Lisa: Please? It's for science.
Drederick Tatum: Oh for science. In that case, proceed.

Homer: Babies of Springfield! We need your help! Please! Skin your knees! Put dice up your nose! Let cats sleep on your face!

Professor Frink: Scientists... Scientists, please... Looking for some order... some order please... with the eyes forward and the hands neatly... folded. And the pain. There'll be pain. Hmmm. Pi is exactly three!

Lisa: I have isolated the chemical which is emitted by every geek, dork, and four-eyes. I call it "Poindextrose".
Homer: Woo hoo! Simpsons rule! Sorry.

Homer: So all her bullying was just to get some attention.
Lisa: No, Dad! Didn't you listen to anything I said?
Homer: Just to get some attention.
Season 12 Quotes
Treehouse of Horror XI A Tale of Two Springfields Insane Clown Poppy Lisa the Tree Hugger Homer vs. Dignity The Computer Wore Menace Shoes The Great Money Caper Skinner's Sense of Snow HOMЯ Pokey Mom Worst Episode Ever Tennis the Menace Day of the Jackanapes New Kids on the Blecch Hungry, Hungry Homer Bye, Bye, Nerdie Simpson Safari Trilogy of Error I'm Goin' to Praiseland Children of a Lesser Clod Simpsons Tall Tales