Difference between revisions of "Rosebud/Quotes"

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|episode=Rosebud
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer Goes to College|Treehouse of Horror IV|Rosebud}}
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== Quotes ==
 
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:'''Burns''': How much do you want.
 
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:'''Homer''': A million dollars and three Hawaiian islands. Good ones, not the leper one.
 
  
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<hr width=50%/>
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{{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} How much do you want.
 +
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} A million dollars and three [[Hawaii]]an islands. Good ones, not the leper one.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Have [[the Rolling Stones]] killed.
 +
{{qf|[[Smithers]]}} But sir, those weren't the...
 +
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Do as I say!
 +
----
 +
:''[Night time. Homer, half asleep and in his underwear, wanders over to the fridge and takes something out of it.]''
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{{qf|Homer}} Mmm... sixty-four slices of American cheese.
 +
:''[He sits down at the table with the stack of slices.]''
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Sixty-four. ''[eats it]'' Sixty-three. ''[eats it]''
 +
:''[Fade to morning, and he is struggling to finish.]''
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{{qf|Homer}} Two... ''[eats it very slowly]'' One... ''[eats it]''
 +
:''[Marge walks in.]''
 +
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} Have you been up all night eating cheese?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} ''[slurred]'' I think I'm blind...
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Marge}} What are you doing?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} I'm writing a delicious send-up of Mr. Burns for his birthday party. Is poo-poo one word or two?
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{{qf|Marge}} I don't think it's a good idea to humiliate your boss on his birthday.
 +
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Actually, Mom, a tweaking of Mr. Burns' foibles if done with the greatest of care could earn Dad a special place in the old man's heart.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Well, I also do a delightful impression of him. ''[laughs]'' I paint a frowny face on my butt and pull down my pants!
 +
:''[Marge and Lisa groan.]''
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Now, I'm not saying Mr. Burns is incontinent...
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} Incontinent! ''[laughs]'' Too rich!
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} Does either of you know what incontinent means?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Lisa, don't spoil our fun.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Come on, everybody, it's time to go.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} OK, stupid.
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, you've got to stop insulting everyone, especially your boss!
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Marge, the comedy roast is an American tradition. It's what gives us the freedom to criticize our social betters. ''[Outside, Flanders is clipping the hedge]'' Hey Flanders! You smell like manure.
 +
{{qf|[[Flanders]]}} Uh oh. Better cancel that dinner party tonight. Thanks for the nose-news, neighbor!
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Smithers}} I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike [[Lassie]], was just run over in the parking lot.
 +
:''[Audience gasps]''
 +
{{qf|Smithers}} And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Are you ready to laugh?
 +
{{qf|Man}} That poor dog.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Are you ready to laugh? I said, are you ready to laugh!?
 +
{{qf|Lady}} Quiet, you awful man.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} You know, Mr. Burns is so cheap.
 +
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Whaaat?
 +
{{qf|Homer}} I mean...Mr. Burns is so old--
 +
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} How dare you!
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Woo hoo, tough crowd.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Oh, where did I lose 'em? I'll never wiggle my bare butt in public again.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} I'd like to believe that this time. I really would.
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{{qf|Marge}} Bart, run down to the store and get a big bag of ice for your father.
 +
{{qf|Bart}} Yes'm. Dad, I know you're discouraged, but please don't deny the world your fat can.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Don't worry, boy, he'll be ready for your Aunt Selma's birthday.
 +
{{qf|Lisa}} I knew it.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Marge}} I'm sure he'll offer a fair reward. And then we'll make him double it.
 +
{{qf|Family}} Huh?
 +
{{qf|Marge}} Well, why can't I be greedy once in a while?
 +
----
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{{qf|Ice Delivery Man}} You've got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!
 +
{{qf|[[Apu]]}} If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|[[Nelson]]}} My old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give a bear to another old man! Let's get him!
 +
{{qf|[[Jimbo]]}} Wait, why are we getting him?
 +
{{qf|[[Martin]]}} Look, fellows. The first snapdragon of the season.
 +
{{qf|Nelson}} Never mind. Let's get him!
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Smithers}} Who's Bobo, sir?
 +
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Bobo? Duh..uh, I meant [[Sheriff Lobo|Lobo...Sherrif Lobo]], they should have never canceled that show.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Bart}} ''[Pulls Bobo out of the bag of ice]'' Hey, it's a teddy bear. Gross, it's probably diseased or something. Here, Maggie.
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Homer}} Who needs his money? We're getting by okay.
 +
:''[Grampa crashes a Ute through the Simpsons' wall.]''
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{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Son, you gotta help me! I hit three people on the way over here, and I don't have any insurance! ''[pause]'' So, how's my Ute?
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Homer}} My life can't get any worse.
 +
{{qf|Smithers}} Homer Simpson, report for "much worse" duty.
 +
{{qf|Homer}} D'oh!
 +
----
 +
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Smithers, I'm so happy. Something amazing has happened, I'm actually happy. Take a note! From now on, I'm only going to be good and kind to everyone.
 +
{{qf|Smithers}} I'm sorry sir, I don't have a pencil.
 +
{{qf|Mr. Burns}} Oh, don't worry, I'm sure I'll remember it.
  
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:'''Burns''': Have the Rolling Stones killed.
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{{Season 5|Q}}
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:'''Smithers''': But sir , those weren't the...
 
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:'''Burns''': Do as I say!
 
−
 
 
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<hr width=50%/>
 
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:'''Homer''': Mmmm. Sixty-four slices of American cheese. Sixty-four. Sixty-three. Two. One.
 
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:'''Marge''': Have you been up all night eating cheese?
 
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:'''Homer''': I think I'm blind.
 
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{{Season 5 Q}}
 
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[[Category:Quotes]]
 

Latest revision as of 14:47, February 4, 2024


Season 5 Episode Quotes
← 084 "Homer Goes to College"
085
"Rosebud"
"Treehouse of Horror IV" 086 →


Mr. Burns: How much do you want.
Homer: A million dollars and three Hawaiian islands. Good ones, not the leper one.
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those weren't the...
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!
[Night time. Homer, half asleep and in his underwear, wanders over to the fridge and takes something out of it.]
Homer: Mmm... sixty-four slices of American cheese.
[He sits down at the table with the stack of slices.]
Homer: Sixty-four. [eats it] Sixty-three. [eats it]
[Fade to morning, and he is struggling to finish.]
Homer: Two... [eats it very slowly] One... [eats it]
[Marge walks in.]
Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: [slurred] I think I'm blind...
Marge: What are you doing?
Homer: I'm writing a delicious send-up of Mr. Burns for his birthday party. Is poo-poo one word or two?
Marge: I don't think it's a good idea to humiliate your boss on his birthday.
Lisa: Actually, Mom, a tweaking of Mr. Burns' foibles if done with the greatest of care could earn Dad a special place in the old man's heart.
Homer: Well, I also do a delightful impression of him. [laughs] I paint a frowny face on my butt and pull down my pants!
[Marge and Lisa groan.]
Homer: Now, I'm not saying Mr. Burns is incontinent...
Bart: Incontinent! [laughs] Too rich!
Lisa: Does either of you know what incontinent means?
Homer: Lisa, don't spoil our fun.
Marge: Come on, everybody, it's time to go.
Homer: OK, stupid.
Marge: Homer, you've got to stop insulting everyone, especially your boss!
Homer: Marge, the comedy roast is an American tradition. It's what gives us the freedom to criticize our social betters. [Outside, Flanders is clipping the hedge] Hey Flanders! You smell like manure.
Flanders: Uh oh. Better cancel that dinner party tonight. Thanks for the nose-news, neighbor!
Smithers: I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was just run over in the parking lot.
[Audience gasps]
Smithers: And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!
Homer: Are you ready to laugh?
Man: That poor dog.
Homer: Are you ready to laugh? I said, are you ready to laugh!?
Lady: Quiet, you awful man.
Homer: You know, Mr. Burns is so cheap.
Mr. Burns: Whaaat?
Homer: I mean...Mr. Burns is so old--
Mr. Burns: How dare you!
Homer: Woo hoo, tough crowd.
Homer: Oh, where did I lose 'em? I'll never wiggle my bare butt in public again.
Lisa: I'd like to believe that this time. I really would.
Marge: Bart, run down to the store and get a big bag of ice for your father.
Bart: Yes'm. Dad, I know you're discouraged, but please don't deny the world your fat can.
Homer: Don't worry, boy, he'll be ready for your Aunt Selma's birthday.
Lisa: I knew it.
Marge: I'm sure he'll offer a fair reward. And then we'll make him double it.
Family: Huh?
Marge: Well, why can't I be greedy once in a while?
Ice Delivery Man: You've got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!
Apu: If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it.
Nelson: My old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give a bear to another old man! Let's get him!
Jimbo: Wait, why are we getting him?
Martin: Look, fellows. The first snapdragon of the season.
Nelson: Never mind. Let's get him!
Smithers: Who's Bobo, sir?
Mr. Burns: Bobo? Duh..uh, I meant Lobo...Sherrif Lobo, they should have never canceled that show.
Bart: [Pulls Bobo out of the bag of ice] Hey, it's a teddy bear. Gross, it's probably diseased or something. Here, Maggie.
Homer: Who needs his money? We're getting by okay.
[Grampa crashes a Ute through the Simpsons' wall.]
Grampa: Son, you gotta help me! I hit three people on the way over here, and I don't have any insurance! [pause] So, how's my Ute?
Homer: My life can't get any worse.
Smithers: Homer Simpson, report for "much worse" duty.
Homer: D'oh!
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I'm so happy. Something amazing has happened, I'm actually happy. Take a note! From now on, I'm only going to be good and kind to everyone.
Smithers: I'm sorry sir, I don't have a pencil.
Mr. Burns: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure I'll remember it.
Season 5 Quotes
Homer's Barbershop Quartet • Cape Feare • Homer Goes to College • Rosebud • Treehouse of Horror IV • Marge on the Lam • Bart's Inner Child • Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood • The Last Temptation of Homer • $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) • Homer the Vigilante • Bart Gets Famous • Homer and Apu • Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy • Deep Space Homer • Homer Loves Flanders • Bart Gets an Elephant • Burns' Heir • Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song • The Boy Who Knew Too Much • Lady Bouvier's Lover • Secrets of a Successful Marriage
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