Homer the Vigilante/Quotes
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- Marge: I don't think the guns are a good idea.
- Homer: Marge! We're responsible adults and— [*bang]
- Moe: Whoops.
- Homer: And if a group of responsible adults can't handle firearms in a responsible way—*
- Captain McCallister: Sorry.
- Skinner: Uh-oh.
- Moe: Me again.
- Bart: Sorry.
- Ned Flanders: Welcome, neighbors. Since the police can't seem to get off their dufferoonies to do something about this burglarino, I think it's time we started our own neighborhood watch... eroony! [everyone cheers]
- [Homer and members of the Vigilante (Moe, Apu, Principal Skinner, & Barney) are patrolling the street they're walking on and see a saxophonist busking.]
- Homer: Hey, you! Where'd you get that saxophone?
- Saxophonist: [pause] Sears.
- Homer: GET HIM! [they proceed in chasing the student]
- Homer: Well Mr. Cat Burglar, you'd like to get in here, wouldn't you? There's just one problem - thirty-six years ago, some lady gave birth to a man named Homer J. Simp... oh my God! Underage kids drinking beer without a permit!
- Chief Wiggum: [at the bottom of a big hole] NO, no, Dig UP Stupid!
- Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%.
- Homer: Oh people can come up with statistics to prove anything Kent, forfty per cent of all people know that.
